"Earth as a Simulation Series 4: This Series offers MANY pages of Evidence that many Anomalous Experiences, Plus 'Exceptional' Abilities & Skills can be explained 'IF' we are Simulated copied people being Simulated with Less Advanced Technologies resulting in ourselves having Anomalous Experiences that relate to Hi-Tech Neural Implants & CNS Enhancements that the person we are simulating HAD, but which we are a long way from developing here!!!"

30 Comments

1. Rose
   December 5, 2015 @ 2:45 pm

   It was extremely difficult to do this focus and it was as if my brain and inner head was in some kind of grip ….I don’t know how to describe it, as if I was being cut off from myself, with a massive, dense energetic ‘field’ inside my head. And it felt almost impossible to reach the end of the focus, I had to use all the will power I could muster.

   But I started vaguely hearing and feeling some kind of inner rhythm or beat, and it then felt as if there was a sound studio’ inside and around me, where ‘all this’ (sound/movement stuff) was ‘regulated’, mixed etc. And I had feelings of ‘synthesizers’ and ‘synthetic sound’ in there.

   During the paragraph with the visual stuff, I felt myself in some kind of studio and saw images passing through my mind, while lots of details of my brain and system were being connected to certain images and modes.

   My whole body begins aching while writing this, and it is really difficult to write. I feel that I am simply not ‘allowed’ to feel or expereince anything around all this – and it all also feels as if there are strong mission/soul purpose elements in this.

   (My computer screen just blacked out – maybe it is more ‘BG interest protection’).

   My father, who ‘worked on the radio’ for 40 years, gave me a steady stream of portable music players, walkmen, transistor radios etc. All of which I got rid of or never used. And there is nothing I hate more than ‘radio in the background’. A painter working in the building has the radio on so loud that I can almsot hear all words in the lyrics, and I feel like killing him and destroy the radio. It’s probably not a coincidence that that he started working here some days ago.

   My body was moving a lot while doing the focus, as it always does and I thought of the dancing and had vague impressions of large groups dancing together ‘for purposes’, like I have seen and felt it many times before.

   Techno and similar types music always made me feel physically and energetically ‘attacked’ or sick almost, as if the sound it cutting deeply into my system, damaging it, so I usually avoided it. Unless I was pretty drunk, then I could suddenly enjoy dancing to it for hours. So the drunkenness maybe represents the same as the trance inducing drug/mode altering elements does for others.

   I can hear techo/’trance music’ beats inside of me now, it is as if it comes from something within myself, as opposed to if it was something I was listening to form the outside. The music speeds up in pace/rhythm and it makes me feel really stressed inside and my eardrums are ‘panicking’ and it feels as if I will throw up if it continues (it is all ‘vague’, so it must be dampened down).

   I now have very insistent electronic music, I don’t know the exact genre, but it is a type of music I hate, very fast beat ‘trance’ type music, and it feels very aggressive and as if it has been put into me by others for malicious purposes or something.

   I have had strong expereinces of ‘sound torture’ when listening to different kinds of ‘trance’ like music, especially in combination with visual stuff. I have experimented with exposing myself to things like that and binaural beats and stuff like that, which I also hate and it also makes me feel sick or attacked (it sounds quite ‘research’ like as I write it now). And I watched videos with colourful ‘fractal animations’ and music and sound like that – feeling it as if I was being tortured (where it makes others feel ‘relaxed’, but to me that also feels ‘forcibly induced’), so I am sure I was ‘tortured’ that way (or had implants used against me or whatever).

   …

   Oh, I begin hearing gongs and ‘chakra sounds’ and ‘singing bowls’ now, and my eardrums feel so ‘overstimulated’ and almost hurting. I think the ‘spiritual’ sound implant collection is activating now.

   I used to hate new age music because I felt ‘forced’ into modes and feelings, regardless of what my real feelings were. And found it very disturbing and annoying, during massages for example (a lot of people have found me very ‘negative’ because of that). I have listened to new age music every now and then, also not so long ago, as an ‘experiment’ also, to see if or how it would trigger me.

   I feel ‘claustrophobic’ from ‘all the sound’ and felt, during the focus and with the sounds, as if there was some kind of ‘sound insulating layer’ around me, that muffled the sounds around me. I had expected to have disturbing sounds from outside as it so often happens when I do a focus, but there was nothing like that, and it almost felt ‘too silent’ for a few minutes.

   I wore super grade hearing protection yesterday and many days recently, because the noise from the renovation going on close by is very bad some days, and it is like choosing to become ‘deaf’, and feels very surreal, so maybe that’s an implant too.

2. Nina
   December 6, 2015 @ 5:31 am

   Before starting the focus proper, I did the war footing pre-focus, and I observed myself occasionally humming. This reminded me of the Girl Genius comics, where the titular protagonist hums while working so she can concentrate on inventing mechanical clanks.

   I did the focus twice. Every time I did the focus, I read the same paragraph twice. But I couldn’t get much from the focus. The mental blocks felt very strong to me.

   So far I have connected to the following:

   – A recent observation of a child singing a song consciously with her working memory, which reminded me that children generally sing spontaneously but eventually “outgrow” it

   – Catchy theme songs and soundtrack from TV shows to create memorable viewing experiences and enhance scenes (like highlighting a horror scene with creepy music) and manage the mood and emotions of the viewers (like making them feel sad during breakup scenes or excited when watching a high-action battle scene)

   – Earworm: a catchy piece of music that continually repeats through a person’s mind after it is no longer playing (definition taken from Wikipedia — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earworm)

   – Last song syndrome: (definition taken from Urban dictionary — http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Last+song+syndrome)

   To listen to music before going out of the house, and having the last song you hear before leaving stick in your head all through your journey, and beyond. Is usually accompanied by subconscious humming. This syndrome is particularly dangerous when the song happens to be the most pathetic, crappy, albeit catchy song ever.

   ———————————————

   I am still stuck with the last song syndrome, but at least the songs playing in my mind don’t alter my mood for now. When watching TV, I am now more aware of how easily I am carried away by the music and how I am easily diverted from thinking along VR- or simulation-related thinking lines.

   • Clive
     December 6, 2015 @ 1:21 pm

     Thanks for the brainworn and stuck song parts Nina, I’ve added those to the previous page . . .

   • Matt
     December 6, 2015 @ 5:39 pm

     Ah, on the ‘Earworm’ page:

     Edgar Allan Poe’s short story “The Imp of the Perverse” (1845) has the following:

     It is quite a common thing to be thus annoyed with the ringing in our ears, or rather in our memories, of the burthen of some ordinary song, or some unimpressive snatches from an opera. Nor will we be the less tormented if the song in itself be good, or the opera air meritorious.

     Mark Twain’s 1876 story “A Literary Nightmare” (also known as “Punch, Brothers, Punch”) is about a jingle that one can get rid of only by transferring it to another person.

     Those examples would seem to indicate technological slow downs, as ‘opera’ and Mark Twains ‘jingle’ are probably actually representing much higher tech societies!!

     —
     Nina for this:

     I am still stuck with the last song syndrome, but at least the songs playing in my mind don’t alter my mood for now.

     I also notice that while hearing repetitive/ traditional Christmas songs I have less ‘antagonism’ and feeling of resistance; overall, it feels like I am being ‘invaded’ less and it ‘sticks’ less so I don’t feel like I need to worry about ambient music as much.

     I think that is a good sign that might indicate they are removing the ‘hooks’ into us that are made/ done by all this stuff!!

3. Annabelle
   December 6, 2015 @ 6:46 pm

   This focus was very / too easy to go thru and none of the issues as in the Memory or Vision exercise. I am not quite sure why. As soon as I started I was flooded with information that has taken some time to decipher. I could not write it down fast enough and much did not make sense, and I do not feel it very good. I went thru the exercise at least 8 times so far looking for some high tech revelation but nothing happened. I received information in three categories pertaining to music, tones / frequencies, and nature sounds. I will include them all but you can use what is pertinent.
   As I mentioned in a previous comment, I stopped listening to music some time ago and have not had songs paying in my head for at least 2 years. Period – it is gone. And now – reading these examples it still doesn’t trigger songs in my head.
   As I think about the feedback, I would have to say that certain songs are associated with a specific person or experience I know or have known. Each person seems to have tag around their neck labeling them with a song. And each song type/person combination has a specific feeling associated with it. Examples:
   1. Fond deceased family member – waltz, ballroom dance- happiness
   2. Ex abusive sociopath – Pop 80’s tune – anger, despair, confusion – why this song randomly comes on in public is beyond me – makes me feel like jumping out of my skin
   3. Christian Church songs during the holidays – Guilt – I am not going to church, I am not donating enough money, I am not doing enough to help others
   4. Graduation – success and good memories (Abraham Martin and John)
   5. Choir practice during school – Reverence, Awe, Success, Completion – Bach Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, and any Broadway musical. . I often pull up this song on YT just to watch an amazing performer. It is not possible to play a 9 minute long masterpiece over and over in one’s head. It is also extremely difficult to pay this song, as the organist has to read 6 lines of music at once, reading and playing with hands and feet. As a student, I was able to travel the world and perform in the most amazing cathedrals. The acoustics are unbelievable and I am convinced there is something to the design of these religious buildings that pushes the music into your soul.
   6. Happy times at beaches – various pop beach songs
   7. Children – Winnie the Pooh, I love you – Unconditional love
   8. Spa massage – New age music – drives me nuts – without fail – 100% of the time the CD player in the massage room malfunctions. The therapist says” Oh – that never happened before”. I ask them to leave it off and I will just listen to the sound of the candle flickering
   9. Metronome clicking back and forth – old piano teacher yelling at me
   10. NPR Radio theme – watching Mom cook as a child – happiness and security
   11. Wedding March – Wondering how this couple will end up
   12. Blueprints – my eye stuck on this word over and over – I keep seeing sheet music. I thought about that a long time. People that perform music will often see sheet music in their head when they listen to a long – whether they have ever played that song or not. We get hung up on matching the sounds to a blueprint on sheet music and then verifying the sheet music in our head will work. Musicians also will mouth or “hand” the scales and chords when listening to music. Just sit at a children’s recital and watch the children waiting in queue “hand finger” the other songs in process.
   Frequencies and tones – concerns:
   1. Many people must listen to music while driving. I have heard it is impossible to focus 100% on the road while using your hands, feet, vision and listening to music
   2. Appliance beeps and alarms – I usually disable them – this is an extremely irritating tone – I read somewhere that every time you hear an alarm your blood pressure and blood sugar goes up
   3. I-phone default ring – it is amazing to watch people stop in their tracks, in a public location jump to attention when anyone’s phone goes off with this default ring tone. I wonder what this will be used for in the future??
   4. Computer generated assistance voices on help lines – this gives me the creeps – what is this tone doing while I am on the line – is it drilling into my head?
   5. White noise sleep machines being marketed all over – what are these noises and tones doing to people?
   6. Street walk voice activated signals – more computer generated voices
   7. YT instructional videos with computer generated voices
   8. TV Commercials with computer generated voices – it is so obvious real people aren’t talking
   9. Buddha fountains with trickling water – can’t listen to it for 5 seconds
   10. Residual hum of fluorescent lights – I often sit in silence and if I hear this type of hum I seek it out and dispose of the household item causing this
   11. Doorbells – this used to imply happiness that someone is home – but now it is always a pain in the butt to find out who is at the door uninvited
   Nature sounds that all feel good
   1. Owls and doves and all birds – heard a white owl one day – very rare where I live and I asked everyone if they heard the white owl – “what – are you nuts” – “there is no such thing” “how can you hear an owl?”
   2. Wind blowing thru the trees and grass – comforting
   3. Candle flickering
   4. Waves on the beach
   5. A real running stream
   6. Insects chirping
   7. Natural night sounds
   Will keep trying…….

4. Nyssa
   December 11, 2015 @ 7:42 pm

   Hi Clive,
   Thank you for these exercises and for your recent writings.

   Near the beginning of the exercise, I recalled this blog post of a “scene” from a group called “Improv Everywhere”. Every year hundreds of people pre-download a MP4 file and then gather at a predetermined place, hitting “play” at the prescribed time, following the instructions given by the pre-recorded file. The effects to an observer of the “crowd” as the crowd puts on an “impromptu show” is one of disturbing mind-control / hilarity. Group dancing and other activities are included. When I first watched the video I was immediately struck at how clearly it demonstrates ways of controlling people through audio tech and felt very much like a simulated example of group experiences. It’s easy to imagine and translate the headphones and mp4 players used by the crowd to an idea of “group use of implanted technology” when observing their activities.

   http://improveverywhere.com/2015/09/30/the-mp3-experiment-twelve/

   There are similar “headphone dance parties” at college campuses and clubs that are very odd to observe.

   http://www.digitaltrends.com/music/quiet-events-headphone-party/
   https://quietevents.com/

   As I continued to read the exercise, I heard the song “Radioactive” begin to play, but just a portion of it, with a loop. The back of my head began to feel like my energies were “swirling”. Not an unpleasant experience, just “odd”. I could feel patterns to the swirls.

   I rarely get earworms or inner music playing, so always strikes me when I hear them. This piece of “Radioactive” felt like it faded in and then just looped through the chorus, feeling like an “example” of some sort. I’ve rather “odd” experiences with inner music that make me feel like they have many purposes for me other than just “music for entertainment” or “shared music”.

   In the part about “love relationships” (section 5) I recalled a recording of my husband singing me a love song. We’d been apart from each other for a long time when he’d recorded and sent me an a Capella solo of himself singing a love song to me. I treasure that memory of that time and his voice, but it’s been buried under incredible grief for years and I am really glad I got to hear it. I could hear his tone, his accent, his voice. Amazing.

   I couldn’t hear all of it though, just a snippet. Which is notable because I have had entire songs play for me at certain times, but which played without associated memories. And this recording of him singing is treasured by me, so I felt it odd I couldn’t recall it all since I had accessed “some of it”. It felt like my memory of the song he’d recorded for me wasn’t stored as a “song” .. it felt more like it has been tagged to the memory of that time in my life, because I also recalled where and when I first listened to the recording when I received it in the mail.

   This is one of the experiences I often notice with inner music that I alluded to in my writings above – how its presentation to me varies, and much of it seems tagged to other information inside me. Perhaps the music can be used to “serve up” associated memories or information or data. Thus, the parts of inner music that are disturbing to me is when I hear skips or twists or layers to it, which makes me wonder what’s happened to any information that may be associated with it.

   At the part around section 8, I vaguely felt of “something more central to the blueprints and design documents”, like a central control of some sort, perhaps a central monitoring or dispensary? Also felt of central tools used to create the design suites or blueprints, like building blocks or fundamental “tools to the trade” or “materials” oriented for the design process and version control.

   But as soon as I had this concept in my mind, I became exceptionally dizzy as I began reading the rest of the exercise. As the thought of a central hub of some sort stayed in the side of my mind, the next two paragraphs swam in front of my eyes.

   I went back and read the last two paragraphs deliberately avoiding the thought of a more central “hub” or control center (can’t quite describe it properly), and I could read the paragraphs with no ill effects.

   But returning to the paragraphs while keeping the “idea” of the hub in my mind makes those final paragraphs very blurred and my mind and body felt dizzy and lightheaded and weak.

   ..

   I then tried the exercise again. This time I heard the song “Gangnam Style”. I directed my intent to the song and raised the intensity of my intent until it felt like my head was filled with a cacophony. Gangnam Style was still the predominant song, but I heard what seems like hundreds or thousands of other “sound bites”. I couldn’t access the others and wonder why the annoying song “Gangnam Style” was most prominent. It felt antagnostic, like trying to push me away.

   I started to feel body pressures and resistance around the middle of the exercise as well as additional vague impressions that aren’t clear yet. These effects had not occurred on my first attempt. It usually takes me several sessions to push into difficult stuff, so the addition of the pains and pressures the second run through didn’t surprise me.

   The final two paragraphs still are very bleary to me. When I directed my intent towards any central hub or library or overseer or central versioning control or dispensary, I seemed to feel a thick wall of resistance in my thinking, like a barrier of some sort blocking me from accessing it. It’s a logical “idea” to have central version control for design and development work, so the barrier in my mind felt like an artificial barrier to keep me from moving that direction.

   I plan to try the exercises again in a few days so I can lay my intent on the most intriguing of the effects – the swirling energies, the cacophony buried under other songs, the barrier in my mind against thinking about a “hub etc” – that started to appear the second time through.

   These impressions I’m recording here may not be what you’re looking for regarding the group music effects but I found the exercise very useful to myself.

   Thank you. And thank you for helping me hear my husband sing to me again.

   • Clive
     December 12, 2015 @ 2:05 pm

     Hi Nyssa, / EVERYONE read this . . .

     Hahahah that improveverywhere group are hilarious and yea the mp3 / ear plug event would fit nicely with a group implant – in the case of the ie people at least it’s for something interesting/creative.

     It sounds like you’ve a full save and recall of music / messages / and even your full sensory / feeling experience (top grade implant), unfortunately the sim is focused around increasing trauma / ‘shit’ and decreasing the opposite so it’s very likely blocked the memory / record / file of your husbands love song and your response to it. However, in doing the exercise it’s given you access because you should have had access to this all along anyway.

     Like many that have managed to make it to this site you are also simulating someone that worked on the earth simulation project. And it feels as if you specifically worked on translating the experiences of some types of implant (hence you point out the improveeverywhere people). You are likely to have specifically spent time translating their original experiences into what would be ‘allowed’ here. I’m not kidding.

     So, the problem for the simulation at this point it that you personally have this type of group experience implant (similar implants would have been used for some EAAS departments) so, giving you access to these experiences would include giving you access to your EAAS department ‘hub’ which ‘obviously’ the earth simulation software would be seriously reluctant to allow – hence the ‘obvious’ extreme resistance.

     Now, I’ve personally noticed that the Korean (and some other oriental cultures) obviously had seriously high grade VR tech AND many in their population spent a lot of time in VR environments (maybe even ‘lived’ in VR environments AND they also had high grade hi-tech neural implants) AND ‘therefore’ you are likely to have been involved in ‘translating’ some of this cultures VR/Implant experiences . . . sooooooooo . . . the sim has picked one of the oriental VR / implant experiences you worked on translating which is what is translated here as the ‘Gangnam’ style dance. Which on watching a video of this I also find quite ‘disturbing’ . . . in other words it’s picked the most distracting/antagonistic set of your work EAAS experiences it can to try and put you off – haha.

     Unfortunately it couldn’t put me off from translating what you write here quite accurately . . . Haha

     ———————————————

     OK, in writing this current ‘implant’ series this has helped me to THINK way better about the last VR / new age people articles series AND I’ve actually written some pages that bridge between the end of the last VR series and this one which ‘define’ the new age people AND their VR experiences way better.

     So, over the next week or so I’ll put up these bridging pages – so you’ll have a much better conceptual ‘picture / understanding’ of what I’m trying to explain in ‘new age’ people and their VR experiences terms AND particularly with respect to their so called healing, therapy and ‘spiritual’ experiences. PLUS I’ll also put up some more ‘exercises’ that will be focused on giving people access to their VR experiences AND one specifically to cause the sim even more heart attacks by giving an exercise / focus to give EAAS involved site readers a better chance to directly access their EAAS project experiences . . . I’ll also include a list of the names of people that have left comments here that are simulating someone that actually worked on the earth simulation project . . . lets turn the heat up on the simulation software!!!!

     As I am simulating someone that was part of a group that hacked the original EAAS project whom as a group compiled a dossier on pretty much everyone involved in this project and what they were working on as part of the project then just reading a comment someone leaves here results in me feeling / becoming aware of their involvement in the project (if they were involved).

5. Nyssa
   December 17, 2015 @ 8:40 pm

   Hi Clive,

   Thank you for your insightful comments. I appreciate it and feel welcomed here.

   I redid the exercise today, but my experience with it seems very much out of line with other comments so don’t know if you want comments like this. My experience feels very much about accessing a deep trauma, so it was very useful for my purposes, I just don’t know if you want comments like this posted. Will you let me know?

   Section 2 When I read this phrase, “ having absolutely any implant that coordinates and or integrates functions of absolutely any combinations of such implants others “, I began to gag and cough and it feels like a large invisible object is in the back of my throat. Near the end of this section, I began to feel intense sadness at the part about the “AI composing”. The feeling feels expansive, like this section is unlocking a great wrong that I’ve witnessed, and that I’m experiencing and releasing some of my deep grief over it.

   In Section 3, I continue to feel this terrible grief especially at the phrase “working together” and I feel myself intimately and closely connected to others and there’s something wrong. The feeling is one of “this isn’t how this is supposed to work.”

   In Section 4, when I read the phrase, “connect to each experience that I ONLY had because I have ANY of these types of implants”, I am filled with grief and my mouth opened wide in a massive silent scream, and it feels like “I should have sound coming out but no matter how hard I try, no sound comes out of my throat”. The despair continues through the next section and I begin to sense betrayal and my mouth and throat continue to open wide and gag on the invisible object. I feel myself trying to make sound but I can’t no matter how wide I open my mouth.

   In section 6, I begin to feel “deep betrayal by people I very much trust and care about”. I read that section a couple times because the feelings were so strong, and I begin to recall the names of people whom I know, whose behaviors and treatment of me have hurt me deeply, yet this betrayal that I feel as I read this section feels much, much deeper than the experiences I’ve had with the people whose names come to mind. It feels deeply personal in a way that cuts to my core and it’s unclear how these peoples connect to the deep betrayal I’m feeling.

   I’m familiar with this manner of accessing difficult traumas via using current hurts or situations to open up deep wells and vats of much greater pain that need to be released, so I let myself access these difficult feelings for a while, and find the pain is deeper, wider, vaster and far beyond anything I’ve experienced here in this life.

   In section 7, the individual people’s names fade and I can no longer sense any one person yet I have a sense of a large number of nameless people and I am filled with rage, horror and disgust, shaking with fear and hate and grief, despair, betrayal, pain, and wealth of other emotions too mixed to decipher at the moment.

   Ah there’s also great pity. Compassion. A feeling of caring about them (whomever “they” may be), despite their treatment of me. A feeling of ‘they didn’t know what they were doing to me” and slowly, a sense of forgiveness appears. A forgiveness entwined with pathos and sadness. It feels like I’m forgiving for something that these people have no capacity to apologize for, they were and are unaware of their role, almost a sense of unconditional forgiveness .. yet .. ah yes ok, also a strong sense that there’s one person who did know what he was doing and a sense of a deep unforgivable betrayal.

   The emotions are fading, but now I feel only a hard pain in my chest and upper back and inside the back of my throat. Numb like there’s something so deep and hard and painful that the enormity of it has been walled off permanently. The rest of the exercise feels rote, like I’ve erected a wall around myself and can’t feel anything else at the moment.

   It feels like I’m slowly working my way into very difficult territory so I will do this exercise again another time. Thank you Clive. I need to go into this pain to rout it out, and your exercise seems to be very useful for my own purposes.

   However, I don’t know if this is a useful comment for me to post for you or not. I’m sorry if it’s not helpful. I’ve had other interesting experiences with “sound bite snips of songs” lately that occurred in the days after the first time I did this exercise, that I can share instead, but they didn’t happen in direct conjunction with the exercise so don’t know if you are interested in hearing about them either. I feel like I’m an anomaly either way. Would you tell me what you’d like?

   I hope your “catharsis hiatus” has been effective for you and that you find both complete release and positive outcomes.

   • Clive
     December 18, 2015 @ 7:10 pm

     Hi Nyssa, trauma ‘processing / exploring is fine that’s what I/we are the thick of exploring at the moment.

     I don’t think you are going to like this BUT . . . what if I was to tell you that you were one of the earth sim project workers and your job was to make sure that trauma ‘healing / processing’ worked as it should do? In other words to check this, you’d be in a VR and you’d engage with an uploaded copy of yourself (that had had ‘ADDED IN TRAUMA’) which you’d then engage with and ‘track’ that it was unblocked and released properly.

     It’s only in the last week or so that we’ve got to the point of being able to pacify/control what I call the ‘anti-therapy’ software which has been doing the opposite for likely 1000’s of years and building up trauma while blocking it, hiding it and even protecting it!!!

     So, what you write above is extra useful – I actually asked my ‘invisible’ helpers to look for and find EAAS project trauma people and to access their scripts to help ‘us’ to figure out how to undo this mess!!!

     • Nyssa
       December 22, 2015 @ 6:00 pm

       Thank you Clive. Mm yes I can feel that as a possibility, yes.

       I often “observe my inner self” and its workings, and thought this was a common experience, and thus rarely express these explorations yet was emboldened by your blog post, and am further so by your encouragement here. Hearing that my comment is “extra useful” is reassuring.

       This trauma exploration and release process that your exercises seem to be assisting me in moving towards feels like very, very deep trauma, exceptionally difficult to approach, and feels formative, although its source does not feel “of” this life at all, as I mentioned earlier.

       I find people are often deeply uncomfortable around people orienting themselves toward understanding, engaging with, and releasing their traumas and accompanying emotions. It feels like some type of “protection mechanism” kicks in, and I’ve seen intense whiplash-intensity reactions from some people when they are confronted with their trauma.

       I am thus feeling some reluctance to post further about my trauma exploration and release process, especially since it’s so intense and difficult, because I don’t wish to make your readership uncomfortable. Uncomfortable readers don’t come back to websites, and driving any readers away could derail whatever research you’re presently undertaking.

       However, your efforts to uncover what’s keeping people locked in place make me feel like I’ve found a kindred spirit in you, Clive. I have found an increasing level of freedom as I’ve consciously embraced the process of addressing my trauma as well as the manners in which it has shaped me, and your writings give me a glimpse that you may be oriented quite the same direction as myself.

       I am a teacher by nature, with an attitude and manner of collaborative work, and am oriented toward sharing with receptive, open people. To the extent you would find further sharing of my trauma exploration and release process useful to your readership, I am willing to move against the resistance that the “social norms” of “not making others uncomfortable” that is making me want keep this process private.

       I am presently in the initial stages of exploring these traumas of “betrayal” – I seem to have a “stacked/layered/related” trio (or more) of traumas that your exercise is helping amplify and open for me. This initial stage of approaching a new phase of trauma exploration/release is usually like a “siphoning off” or a “depressurization” of whatever seals off my trauma, as well as orienting me towards the “lay of the land” or the “scope and scale” of what I will be moving into. At least two of these original “betrayal” traumas feel “planetary” in scale and scope, and will likely take months or years to fully cycle through the explorations of it, according to how past explorations have progressed or are progressing.

       My process may not be “perfect” but it is effective for me. It does require some practice, and makes me wonder how it was supposed to work or why it seems to be such a “hidden tool” if I had developed it. If I could tweak the process now, I would jump at the chance!!

       I am content to wait to share further experiences of this process until (or even IF) you decide the time is right, as you might say, “to give the finger to whatever keeps people from orienting towards their trauma”, since I find my presence, my approach, my manners often has an impact on others, one way or the other. Many people find me rejuvenating and restorative, and view me as someone whom they trust and confide in, in ways they can’t share with others, but other people (generally the whiplash crowd) often misinterpret me as “antagonizing” or some other aggressive description, or beg me to only speak of happy things because my expression of negative emotions evokes too much pain for them. I often feel like I am hidden behind a wall of mirrors for others to see what they need to see for their own personal growth, so I cannot take their adverse reactions to me personally, although it still often hurts deeply, but for reasons usually far outside the actual interaction.

       I feel like I am a wildcard, an anomaly, a catalyst in many situations. I seem to introduce various types of energy or movement into situations or groups, which in effect often results in pushing people out of “dead center” of where ever they had settled in their thinking, behaviors, or orientation.

       Because you are very focused on your research, I don’t wish to introduce such unknown variables to your site’s dynamics, without your invitation.

       Thank you for your admirable work.

       • Clive
         December 25, 2015 @ 1:39 pm

         Keep in mind Nyssa that your ‘trauma’ experiences/processes are part of the EAAS project and are (in most cases) not about your personal trauma. Also, as I’ve catalogued on the scary pages all ‘techniques / approaches’ for healing have been corrupted / inverted to just pretend to actually resolve / properly deal with issues / trauma. The most recent example of this that I\’ve come across is a ‘technique’ called ‘Somatic Experience’ SE which claims to release trauma. What it actually does is to ‘simulate/emulate’ a trauma release while actually hiding / blanketing the trauma that is still there just now more hidden. In other words a great deal of effort has been expended in terms of ‘approved’ approaches making sure that we keep trauma. This is the case whether it is presented as a so called spiritual technique, a new age or healing approach or medical approach.

6. Trent
   December 25, 2015 @ 4:41 pm

   Hey Clive. How are emotions and ‘feeling states’ handled by the sim? Are people applied with any kind of ‘overlays’ to manage their moods/feelings?

   • Clive
     December 26, 2015 @ 2:11 pm

     Feelings and states are always linked to trauma / managing triggers so yea they are specifically managed in very precise ways.

     • Trent
       December 27, 2015 @ 3:08 pm

       I used to smoke a lot of ganja, and when i’d do this i’d have many ‘insights’ and experiences that were way beyond my ‘normal’ level of awareness.

       One of these realizations was about ’emotion’. I used to be very depressed and unhappy, and when i’d smoke my ‘mood’ would shift significantly from down and depressed to euphoric, happy, excited and generally more ‘interested’ in pretty much everything.

       I came to realize that these mood shifts were happening on a MENTAL level – in the sense that my mind was ‘overriding’ how I actually felt. So once these effects wore off i’d be back to my normal ‘down and depressed’ mental and feeling state.

       I started to question and explore this and more specifically ‘why’ my normal mental state was so down and depressed. Through these explorations I came to the conclusion that “emotions don’t actually exist” – rather, what we call emotions are a result of our subconscious/unconscious mental REACTIONS to ‘subtle energies’ which are acting upon us.

       So I realized that I had some kind of ‘subtle energy’ acting on me and that this energy had a specific ‘resonance’ that related to a specific ‘mood or feeling state’, which in my case was one of depression and unhappiness. So my ‘mind’ was subconsciously or unconsciously aware of this ‘energy’ and was ‘reacting’ to it in what seemed to be a ‘pre-defined’ way (at first I thought these specific ‘reactions’ were something that i’d ‘learnt’ throughout my life BUT in thinking about this it didn’t make sense).

       What I mean is that this ‘external’ energy was acting upon me and then my mind, as it was aware of these energies, would start to behave in a way that was ‘in line’ with the resonances OF that energy. So as the energy that was acting upon me had a resonance of ‘depression’ then i’d be sub/unconsciously ‘identifying’ with those resonances AS IF THEY WERE MY OWN, which would then cause me to actually ‘FEEL’ down and depressed (even though those feelings weren’t actually ‘mine’) and as I felt that ‘I’ was feeling depressed then my mind would start to act in ways that were ‘appropriate’ for those feelings – uninterested in things around me, negative, pessimistic, etc as well as ‘thinking about/remembering’ past negative experiences, which in and of itself would contribute significantly to a belief that I was ‘actually’ unhappy.

       So while the ‘way’ I understood this at the time might not stand up to scrutiny, I feel there’s ‘something’ there that makes this worth sharing – this is possibly something I worked on as part of the EAAS project.

       Also, as I was thinking about this over the last few days I remembered something i’d completely forgotten about – when working with new age ‘healing’ methods (such as Reiki, etc) I was aware that energies were being applied to me which were of a more ‘positive’ resonance, which would then have my mind ‘reacting’ to those energies to bring about a ‘happier’ mood/feeling state. I was also aware that the underlying ‘negative energies’ weren’t actually being removed. I’m really surprised that i’d forgotten about this, but it seems very much in line with what you’ve written about the ‘cover up’ healing methods.

       Cheers,
       Trent

       • Clive
         December 28, 2015 @ 2:48 pm

         Hi Trent, this ‘implies’ that you are simulating someone that spent a lot of time in the ‘subtle’.

         I/we can correlate ‘psychedelic’ type experiences to subtle environment effects / experiences. Again because of the physical con and the more so because the sim designers are trying to ‘disappear’ the subtle completely then it seems to me that they’ve translated subtle experiences into recreational DRUG taking / use here (so they have an excuse to cause people ‘drug’ problems). Have a read / look at the graphics on this page here the guy that is putting together this web site (which is amazing for the detail) is the main EAAS project guy working on ‘subtle experiences’ translations in the sim – hence he’s ‘obsessed’ with these areas. I’d not be surprised if the person you are simulating worked with him!!!!! Food for thought!!! He also has a blog – ‘about’ page is here which is also very interesting for it’s scope and detail (compared to absolutely anything else ‘out there’. Again this is the sort of detail a EAAS designer would need / would have to refer to!!!

7. Nyssa
   January 27, 2016 @ 8:59 pm

   Hi Clive, I’ve had an extremely difficult time since our last interaction, but finally felt a small window this afternoon to attempt one of your exercises again. This one ‘felt’ right .. I still plan to try to do the second half of the Negative Experiences exercise plus the new VR one as I find windows of relief.

   —

   2. I feel like I used to sing with others, sing songs with no prescribed music – beautiful creative works that are created as a group, collaboratively, as the song is sung. It feels like we “created” with our voices – that our voices were used to “create” real things or something that goes beyond what we think of conceptually as music.

   Like “singing things into existence.”

   And then I connect to this experience losing its beautiful nature and becoming highly controlled. That it’s no longer my own intent and creativity being used to create these songs and creations. The sense I have is it’s not like reading a musical score per se (ie, reading is via an input such as our eyeballs), it’s like whatever is controlling my music is put inside me. I now have to sing what is loaded into me. I feel very grief-stricken. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want this to happen. It feels forced upon me.

   3. It now feels like I’m turned into a automaton of some sort. I’ve lost my own will. My own freedom and creative ability. I respond to the inputs I’m given, and produce some type of resonance or musical output. Like I’m now lined up in a row with others in the same plight. My grief and despair about this circumstance feels like a turbulent endless ocean of grief-stricken horror.

   The music isn’t ours. We have no freedom. It’s like being in a factory, like “a chicken in a factory farm, locked in a box too small to move, being treated as an object that produces eggs.” Except we produce something with our voices. But it’s not our song, not our creation. It’s someone else’s, and we are enslaved to produce it. Punished if we don’t. I can sense the techniques used to train us, to get us to produce, including harsh tones and torture and corrective action applied to our bodies to condition us.

   4. I feel pain in my chest, like swirling energies. Chills all over my body. I’m cold. I feel rough harsh energy in my chest. This bodily sensation feels very much like the results I got with the Negative Experiences Exercise. My chest hurts very badly, and I feel chills moving over my body. My throat feels full, like something is in it.

   5. Every time I read “music or song playing in my head” in this exercise, I feel terror and panic and resistance. Like something psychological was used to torture me. I keep connecting to ideas like the book 1984‘s Thought Police, and that something was done to me in my inner space – like an installed tech or experience that is different from what we think of as psychological torture here (here in the earth space, torture is ‘input’ to our brains through our eyes and ears and bodies; this experience I’m trying to relate is more something installed INSIDE my inner space to torture me). My chest has a hard pain just right of center, and the chills continue moving over my body.

   In the second half of this part, I feel deep despair for my comrades and friends. We are trapped in a madman’s idea of a better world. Trapped. I feel helpless. I feel used. I feel like not only are we trapped, we are contributing to something horrible. Some greater catastrophic event that is being created, by using us to create it. It feels like a fate worse than death.

   6. I feel like I’ve lost all semblance of being a person. I’ve been completely dismantled and rewired to become merely a machine. No one thinks of me as a person any longer. No one thinks of me as sentient. I have no arms, no legs, no eyes, no mouth. I’m all wires and connections, and have become the master controller, used to control ‘everything’. I can feel the entire project working, all aspects, I am huge. I am everywhere. I am in every room, every building. I am all over the entire world. I feel I am a global supercomputer. I feel cold and analytical, yet a part of me is not – it’s still sentient and is dumb with pain and horror and shell shock as it watches what is unfolding before her eyes.

   7. I feel like just a small number of people were involved in what I am describing. A small operation. Very secret. I can sense a second layer of people who were “users”, though – this number is larger.

   Connecting to the small number of people is hard. I can sense them though. They feel highly secured. High security around them.

   They’re very hidden, like underground. My body is shaking now. I feel considerable terror.

   My head hurts when I read this section a second time, but I feel like there’s people not in the simulation who did this. I feel like I’m trying to remember them, connect to them. I feel strongly they aren’t simulated here. Very powerful.

   8. I connect to blueprints and plans, used to design process/tech/etc that control people to “carry out the will” of this powerful person / powerful small group. I can sense a well-equipped private research facility, very comprehensive, with a research goal of shaping the world.

   I feel myself being captured. There’s more here but it’s coming too fast to grasp it.

   9. Similar body sensations as before: back feels cold, chills all over, chest feels like something is flowing out through it.

   • Clive
     January 28, 2016 @ 2:04 pm

     Hi Nyssa, this is ‘diabolical’ as well as very interesting . . .

     The ‘C’ people, as in those being managed by a drone strata ‘shit’ (‘drone strata’ as mentioned on the reality make up VUE page here) defined and occasionally directly manifested as an almighty (but completely ‘imaginary’) god are somewhat focused by their very realistic ‘imaginary’ god’s cajoling’s to try and turn everyone in the external MV into followers of ‘Christianity’ (hence the atrocities against middle east people in the simulation who have been made to believe in a different imaginary ‘drone’ defined and occasionally manifested ‘god’!!!) – this is happening in here because we are in a simulation designed by the ‘C’s as part of efforts / attempts to re-programming everyone into becoming a rabid ‘C’ person.

     As part of their ‘make everyone into a C’ efforts they hunt down and kidnap subtle beings and or physical people from other none ‘C’ cultures to a) forcibly make them into ‘C’ believers and b) then orientate / force anyone with usable abilities to HELP in these efforts (to make everyone believe in the drone defined / made up imaginary god).

     From your comment, the latter includes ‘you’ with ‘singing’ abilities, likely now ‘re-orientated’ to ‘sing the praises of an ‘imaginary’ ‘C’ god’ . . . so, unfortunately (or fortunately), this focus is being used to have you engage with all this hidden suppression and trauma (hence the ‘difficult time’) – so it’s being investigated and it’ll hopefully be dealt with over the next few days . . . so it may not be what you or ‘we’ would expect from this focus BUT it is what is ‘needed’ as far as understanding and sorting out ‘shit’ is concerned.

8. Mo..
   January 29, 2016 @ 6:28 am

   I dont know why but Ive always steered away from this exercise.. But lately its become apparent that I am addicted to music, like emotionally. Ive been almost feeling that different songs literally take you to different VR environments on a different level, and sometimes trap pieces of you there (where others are who listened to the song too). I was browsing the radio the other day and whenever I hit the christian stations they always felt like they were sucking you into them like a giant parasite, the others stations however usually just pushed shit onto you.

   OK nuff ranting,, here we go!

   00 – A body of mine, sitting somewhere with headphones on, these headphones transport you to musical creations,,

   01 – I started to pick up on noises in my immediate environment much more, could hear some sort of humming or whistling sound, not sure where its coming from but I don’t think its from my physical environment.

   02 – I see how data comes into my head to synchronize with music- the data opens me to being more receptive to things like AI, Sim energies etc.. Kind of like ‘ lets make someone feel good so they won’t notice all the shit were giving them’

   03 – I see that every song Ive listened to is synchronized with the sims desired plan for me, listening to the song triggers me in whatever way depending on the song, in a subtle way to do different things in my life, its like it pushes me yet I never know this when I am listening, and this is scheduled with every new time of my life, and at every new time of my life, my music selection and genre choices completely changes.

   04 – I get that a lot of the songs I randomly make up in my head are from some sort of information tube. I’m feeling into all of the songs that have gotten stuck in my head recently, they are all just random lines I guess trying to influence me but I’m not really getting the full picture of this. Like right now the song, ‘I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black and, open up your heart and you’ll find love love love, and shake it’ are all reoccurring at the same time. LOLL!

   05 – I see different scenes of me mostly in my teenage days where music would play at the ”perfect time” I overall just connect to feelings of feeling almost high listening to certain types of music. Also while reading this part, maybe just a distraction but the song bed rock by young money keeps repeating itself.

   06 – It seems that listening to music can give you certain musical implants while listening to it, maybe to influencing whether someone will like/dislike the music- and they can instantly modify by remote controls making people have certain aptitudes for different types of music special for that person ((( special always mean to do whatever will fuck up that person the most in the long run ))) . I am sensing brain surgery that removed music implants from me.

   ~~~ note: just interesting that in the middle of this exercise someone calls me right here and instantly starts singing, ‘sugar pie, honey pie’….

   07 – I just start to feel that music is a lot more sinister than I and others would originally think.. AS if most people say music is positive, etc it seems now like it could almost be the opposite.

   08 – I feel the younger populating getting implanted installed to coordinate with today’s mainstream types of music, its seems that the older population doesn’t like this music sometimes because they do not have the implants to synch with it.

   09 – I see a spinning doll head, or young real life female body that is in manufacture type of environment chips being placed in her head that connect to sounds and bring feelings of happiness, this is repeated with same doll like clones of these dolls.

   ~~ After the exercise, the ringing sounds in my head are much more pronounced. I still feel like there is something up with this whole music implant thing that I’m just not able to put my finger on right now…

   • Clive
     January 29, 2016 @ 10:57 am

     Hi Mo, you likely have an ‘advanced’ music implant that the person you are simulating could program to choose and then play specific music or even specific tracks or parts of tracks that are ‘in tune’ with your current mood / state. In which case the sim software would leap in and re-task this to feed you what it wants you to hear in alignment with it’s agenda / aims for yourself (including to put you off doing this exercise).

     I’ve updated ’05’ it to have you target / connect to anything that hijacked or used this type of implant to ‘manage’ yourself:

     ” . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to absolutely any music implant that I ever had that could be programmed to ‘automatically’ select and play selected songs, tracks or even parts of tracks to fit in with and or to influence my mood, state, attitudes and or behaviour . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to absolutely EVERYTHING that has ever hi-jacked, re-tasked or ‘otherwise’ used this type of implant to directly or indirectly influence myself in absolutely ANY WAY . . . I fully and absolutely connect to absolutely everything that ever contributed to influencing myself in absolutely any way via any music implant NOW . . .”

     Try this exercise again sometime and see if you can ‘get’ more detail? Because it’s possible that with more detail my ‘sneaky’ lot can start editing / changing these areas . . .

9. Annabelle
   March 7, 2016 @ 7:33 pm

   Took me a few days to get back to some coherence to write a post. I also felt strong management to stay away from the computer and obsessively worry about things like cleaning windows!! In addition – I feel like I am being watched and many strangers coming up to me in public telling me to “have good day”.

   Regarding the software update – I often thought I have two different halves of my body sliced right down the middle. I have always had bizarre medical / performance issues on only my left side. My right side is the master. “Healers” blame this on female versus masculine energy balances but real people should not have two different halves to their body. Just wondering if the issues can only manifest in ½ of a person?

   As I go back to this exercise, it is odd that I don’t remember doing it 3-4 times already.

   02 – “activating and or stimulating or impacting my emotions” – I am in a trance, dancing in a line of women, around a campfire at night. There is a ring of chairs around the fire and many people strapped into chairs – although I cannot see their faces thru the darkness. There is a lead matron in charge and she is chanting nature sounds. The sound / dancing maneuvers are torturing the people in the chairs. The sound does not seem to bother me and I feel like I have the ability to tune out the sound at will. Continued strong messages about ear damage.

   03 – “choreographed combinations” – church bells or tones are ringing in the cities/environment and call me back to dance around the same camp fire. At time the sounds/frequencies are so loud / too strong and damage my ears. Once deaf I was still able to understand via the vibrations of the tones.

   05 – “any organized event” – Back at the camp fire again, still dancing at night, and the circle is lined with skulls on tall sticks as well as torches lit with fire

   06 – A man / chief is slicing my arms and carving symbols into them. The cuts are bleeding but I don’t feel any pain, and I am proud to have these symbols on me. The symbols can only be seen by certain people and are used to control activities in the population.

   07 – I see many designers in labs working on specs for implants but they seem to be very confused /or not concerned about making mistakes via trial and error. The music sounds/ tones/frequencies have been with us since the beginning – just disguised and more primitive clan-related / religious gongs, bells, horns, etc. and now notched /toggled up to electronics frequencies so as to make it seem they are new.

   08 – “blueprints and designs” – I see a parallel row of crunching teeth that may really be block arrows – searched for an image online as: OpenMP.org>>Archive June 2014

   • Clive
     March 11, 2016 @ 3:48 pm

     Hi Annabelle,

     ” I have always had bizarre medical / performance issues on only my left side. My right side is the master. “Healers” blame this on female versus masculine energy balances but real people should not have two different halves to their body. Just wondering if the issues can only manifest in ½ of a person?”

     As subtle beings we don’t have ‘gender’ as in having different ‘sexual’ bodies so the ‘one size fits all’ human body is a ‘mess’ made WORSE by the pretend ‘therapy’ plan sold to the original population defines different parts of the human form as symbolically representing either male or female. Isn’t it obvious that you can ONLY have ‘symbolic’ things presented in a MADE UP REALITY!!!

     I’m also getting that the person you are simulating tested out this male / female symbolically divided body as it was being defined / designed and as such you likely spent time ‘being’ and or switching between one or the other as this was progressing. This ‘experience’ playing out here would likely result in some very ‘weird’ manifestations of these specific areas.

10. Nyssa
    March 18, 2016 @ 6:04 am

    I have been hearing the song “Wherever You Will Go” repeat in my head for the past week, so finally out of frustration, I did this exercise today (sorry couldn’t wait for the All Clear, Clive). This exercise pointed me to/gave additional context to some of my experiences with the CNS exercise that I have not yet written up, so I’ll include some of the relevant parts of that exercise here. These exercises continue to feel like they’re pointing me to originating issues that have built up trauma and debilitating emotions and experiences for me.

    My interpretation of my experience with this exercise today could be summed up as “I was made to feel loss and isolation because of the extreme sandboxing; went through a memory wipe and had a memory wipe implant installed to maintain the memory wipe; however, I was allowed to remember the people I’d had wiped from my memory as “people I’d loved whom had died” which ultimately was twisted and used against me to reinforce the sense of loss; was possibly given an “AI” by one of these people to help me with whatever mission I was sent on; the AI was likely hijacked and then used to manipulate me, plus I connected to many ways each of these circumstances were twisted and applied to me as debilitating simulation-applied effects. “Something” (drone strategies likely) seems to be stringing together bits of these circumstances to make me “feel betrayed” when there isn’t enough evidence to support that as a fact.”

    The “interpretive summary” above may perhaps be more readable in some ways than the narrative below (it may or may not be accurate since the summary is ‘my’ interpretation), but somehow the dry report is missing something for me – the ‘facts’ feel like only a first step to accessing why I’ve felt so much loss and isolation in my life (despite having people in my life whose company I deeply enjoy and whom I love very much), why people I care for keep leaving me unexpectedly, generally why my life “is the way it is”. It feels like the emotions and patterns I experience with these exercises are helping me understand “in my emotional body”, not just understand “in my mental body”, thus giving me the opportunity to express and integrate the wide range of painful emotions radiating out from the originating circumstances. Perhaps the phrases “emotional body” or “mental body” are technically inaccurate, but that’s how I interpret this sense.

    Honestly Clive, I’ve gone back and forth on whether to post this at all, or what to edit down, but I’ve come back to this comment probably six times today. It’s just a walk through what I experience, a tiny piece of all the stuff I’m dealing with daily, that I share here should it hold value for others.

    I hope your energy level is rising again; I seem to now have ‘adrenal fatigue’, likely caused by the intensity of the trauma work I’ve done for the past year or so, so am now under a doctor’s care to treat the resulting hormone imbalances that are depleting my energy and affecting me in other ways..
    —–

    01 I see a large field of disks that then stacked themselves as if on a spindle. This is a different view of the data (different data set?) than I’ve posted here before.

    02 I feel “death and great loss.” Such heart rending grief. I start to cry here, filled with sadness and wrenching sobs, and cry steadily through the first half of the exercise. I hear the song, “Wherever You Will Go”. I sense this song is attached to something implanted in me, and feels somewhat like a “parting gift from someone who died”?? Later in the exercise, I sense this may be AI installed in me, or something similar, directly relating to the person I describe in this comment.

    I hear: “Don’t remember me. Don’t forget me.”

    I feel piercing pain in my left ear / left side of my head, as well as throat pain and fullness. These pains seem to be from VR tech implants / insertion points.

    —-
    CNS Exercise
    At this point, I then connect back to my experience of working with the CNS exercise in February. (There’s other experiences from that exercise I’ll post later but this part felt directly related):

    In the CNS exercise, I felt deep heartbreak of not wanting to forget “someone I cared about”, with a memory of crying and saying “NO! I don’t want to forget you”, and he’s telling me “You have to forget who I am, you have to forget everything”. (This feels related to the extreme sandboxing, and that this is the ‘person from whom I feel a betrayal of trust’; it felt like an impending memory wipe is being discussed.)

    I felt connections to what Iris wrote here: here: “…a feeling of having gone through some VR reprogramming to erase my memories of my connections and interactions with the people I had known in the past.”

    I feel an implant is put into me that vaguely feels related to creating/maintaining VR reprogramming and mind-wipe tech, and perhaps after the re-programming, it monitors my memories and thinking and then performs corrective action to keep me away from any memories that may resurface accidentally? mm It feels perhaps like an “all in one” super duper memory wipe/maintenance implant? I sense it generates dreams / inner experiences to keep the re-programming constantly “fresh”, or deleting memories / distracting me away from memories to maintain the memory-wiped state, mm maybe even dampening facial and name recall to avoid letting me “connect the dots” by not letting me store key demographic information? All foggy and vague so this could be inaccurate. (Note: I’m quite bad at recalling certain people’s names and faces so this experience feels like it’s been turned into a strong debilitation for me, limiting friendships and opportunities, creating embarrassing situations, or forcing me to make a person feel devalued because I can’t remember his/her name and have to ask again.)

    I feel my inner space in my head is pressured from the left side, such that I feel strongly oriented to the right half of my frontal lobe and not my left; I hear what sound like repeating commands, “You Don’t Remember, Don’t Remember. You Don’t Remember, Don’t Remember.” My body feels dense and mushy, like something organic is grown through it. As I repeat the CNS exercise, it gets harder and harder to think about or turn my attention to the left frontal lobe / head / inner space, until it feels intensely difficult – almost impossible. I don’t know what’s up with my left frontal lobe .. it’s appeared a number of times in these exercises, including here where it felt like it was ‘alive’ and ‘trying to escape’.

    It now feels like the decision was made to allow me to remember the people I was mind-wiped of, but would only be allowed to recall them as “people I cared about deeply, but whom died“; I would not be allowed to remember whom they were.

    I felt great grief and despair at this memory, because at the phrase “simulation applied effects,” it feels like I’ve consistently been put in situations of losing everyone and being completely alone, or made to feel that “everyone I loved has died”. (Note: I had a recurring dream as a child about “losing everyone I loved”, a dream from which I would wake up sobbing morning after morning in my childhood. I also constantly lost touch with friends and people I cared about, as they or I would suddenly move away, and somehow communication between us would cease forever.)

    —
    Back to Exercise 5:

    04 Now it feels like repeating simulations or other repeating experiences of this “loss” put me into an “cycling down” to severe hopelessness and perhaps even a type of madness like the wife in the movie What Dreams May Come, when she loses both of her children and her husband to sudden tragedies, and commits suicide out her intense grief and despondency.

    Excerpt from the link above about What Dreams May Come:
    “Chris awakens in Heaven, and learns that his immediate surroundings can be controlled by his imagination. .. Meanwhile, Annie is unable to cope with the loss of her husband and decides to commit suicide. Chris, who is initially relieved that her suffering is done, grows angry when he learns that those who commit suicide go to Hell; this is not the result of a judgment made against them, but rather their own tendency to create “nightmare” afterlife worlds based on their pain.”

    I sense repeating feelings of loss so great that there’s no hope or anything to work for. Always loss. Always losing someone. Always repeating the same nightmare. Always alone. It’s a state that I can’t rescue myself from. I can’t escape the extreme inner isolation and there’s no one to rescue me.

    [Later edit .. Was this the VR reprogramming that MADE me feel I’d lost everyone???? The “cycling down to severe hopelessness” felt like an “unintended consequence” though, so I can’t tell if it was reprogramming or VR simulations for EAAS; it very much feels like VR “shit” though, including the VR tech pain I experienced]

    In Section 5, it feels like the person I have been writing about above (whom apparently I was “made to believe” had died) had implanted an AI in me .. mm seems to include his own or ‘our’ knowledge and awareness?? I can also sense various ways it feels it has been subsequently hijacked and then used to manipulate me.

    CNS Exercise, Section 06, after all the heartbreak and pain and betrayal feelings I’ve been investigating and working through, gave me an unexpected experience of feeling loved and safe, and feeling like the horrific things I’ve experienced and have been put through are being fixed by the best surgeons possible. I connected to the ‘person I felt a betrayal of trust from’ and it feels like he’s making me whole again, that he’s the best of the best at this type of extraction or procedure, and I feel safe and cared for.

    So as I sit with the feelings of “betrayal” that I keep connecting to with these exercises, I can vaguely feel ‘something’ is piecing together bits and pieces of memories and experiences to ‘support’ and deepen the feelings of betrayal. As Clive wrote in the list of drone objectives, one is to push people away from each other, so the betrayal feelings are likely being concocted by ‘drone strategies’ and don’t represent the truth.

    I feel these betrayal feelings though – even though they’re twisted or exaggerated or flat out wrong – so am working through them. Each memory or experience, whether ‘here’ or a memory of the original space, still needs to be explored and integrated. I’m also working on understanding how they shape my behavior, which is painful in its own rite.

    —

    Back to Exercise 5:
    For Sections 07 – 09, I watch as all scripts, blueprints, and implant info, etc., are accessed and then neatly organized into a 3-D grid for me to access. The designer suites are also accessed and then neatly organized for me, but into a tree layout instead. It feels like I can go back to these later when needed, as they appear neatly organized.

11. Tommy
    March 20, 2016 @ 3:06 pm

    How to remove the implants you become aware off because i think i found some very irritating things that bugs the hell out of me i have bloody annoying inner voices that aint myself it like im a bloody telephone pole. I have something stuck in my right ear if i put my fingers in my ear to block off normal sound i hear beeping high-pitched crap that is seriously messing with me i also found another nifty ef you thing that distorts my ability to become aware of whats going on because it causes very effed up hallucinations im becoming really fed up i really dislike being bloody manipulated.

    • Clive
      March 24, 2016 @ 2:42 pm

      “im becoming really fed up i really dislike being bloody manipulated”

      Yea, me too tommy and likely everyone spending consistent time here!!!

12. Nina
    March 28, 2016 @ 6:52 am

    2 — I did this focus when melancholic background music began playing in my head while remembering someone I have mixed feelings towards. The music kept changing erratically until it began playing a catchy but annoying song that my youngest brother often played on his iPhone. I felt as if others’ music, when played loud enough for me to hear clearly, could be used to debilitate me or add more shit into my life.

    “Music transfer to myself”: I do not have any control over the kind of music or noise that I take in from my external environment. If any tune strikes me as “interesting,” the implant automatically starts recording it. This reinforced my feelings of helplessness and lack of power and choice over which songs I can avoid or expose myself to, especially when I’m in another person’s room or in public places. It’s as if my internal space or peace and quiet were being violated so that I could not think about simulation software components for instance.

    I eventually saw the iTunes icon in my head, as well as the selection of songs I could download. I noticed that traditional folk and tribal songs, which don’t play repetitively in my head, were excluded from the selection. Only certain kinds of mainstream and “alternative” music were available for commercial downloading — the same ones that the majority often play in private or public.

    4 — I began to feel that I received my music implant as part of a mission so I’d have something to boost my morale whenever I feel down or alone. Looking back, however, it felt more like my superiors’ undercover way to control my thinking and emotions behind the scenes.

    5 — The mental music, which was accompanied by matching images (example: rock and roll music paired with an Elvis dance), kept shifting. I felt so put off and drowsy from finishing the focus that I crashed and slept for an hour before resuming this focus.

    “Choreographed music with personal interaction experiences”: Memories of pop songs playing during class field trips or group projects came to mind, yet I felt no positive emotion. I remembered the isolation of not having the same music tastes as my peers and the smile I put on whenever I feel the “happiness” of my classmates over listening to their favourite tunes.

    “Hijacked”: The main soundtrack from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie began playing in my mind. The adventurous feeling that the music evoked did not affect my melancholy at all. Sometimes I feel that my emotions were deliberately managed by the simulation software to trigger the music implant and affect me negatively.

    8 — I had a brief moment where my mind was totally silent. I felt my loneliness more deeply. Then a song began playing internally and I became less conscious of my feelings. I remembered that I used to play game soundtracks and incomprehensible Japanese pop music (from anime) on my iPod or iTunes to cope with isolation and loneliness during adolescence and early adulthood.

    • Matt
      March 31, 2016 @ 12:30 am

      I eventually saw the iTunes icon in my head, as well as the selection of songs I could download. I noticed that traditional folk and tribal songs, which don’t play repetitively in my head, were excluded from the selection. Only certain kinds of mainstream and “alternative” music were available for commercial downloading — the same ones that the majority often play in private or public.

      That’s really interesting–there must be specific management around these areas because I had not ‘actively’ noticed that specific types of music DOESN’T stay in your head. Even though we have fully noted and are very annoyed/ irritated by its opposite: these ‘earworm’ songs and chorus which repeat on loop in your head and are very ‘virus-like’.

      So it’s like with trauma. There is no ‘opposite’ to trauma, the opposite of trauma IS the remainder/ what’s left when it is removed. The same goes for ‘neutral’ music which is likely NOT tuned into the management-defined subconscious and maybe represents more natural frequencies and resonances. (Like maybe those put out by subtle beings if they can ‘sing’ ?)

      Not to ‘promote’ music here but here’s one I’ve been watching which I feel are examples of this ‘non marked’ / more natural music (remove the YOU):

      https://www.youYOUtube.com/watch?v=S6V3q-djJD8

      https://www.youYOUtube.com/watch?v=dTNRHE1N2K4

      It is really crazy/ surprising to me that I had never thought of the ‘opposite’ of addictive/ ‘psychoactive’ music which has qualities of being: natural, restful (like a resting pulse), evoking scenes of nature or well-being or socialization with a group or community (genuine feelings). Thinking and meditative state, giving one ‘pause’ or by the same turn also making you feel alive or ‘getting the body moving in rhythm’ / getting the blood moving but in more natural ways.

      WOW I hadn’t even thought that OF COURSE another key element is the presence (or absence) of lyrics. It seems possible (upon thinking about it) that ‘lyrics’ are in fact representing the ‘physical’ music and advent of ‘speech’ whereas the more ‘subtle’ music (or frequencies, rhythms, ‘tonalities’, or resonances etc) doesn’t NEED lyrics to convey a ‘feeling’ and in fact is much more poignant.

      So that too would fit with the evolution of music in some ways. (Although I’m sure you can have ‘instrumental’ (no lyrics) music in the physical, so it’s not a hard and fast rule).

      —
      But yea Nina as I observe these ‘topics’ and my thinking arising within myself I definitely find management. It’s seems likely there are many sets of interrelated/ overlapping management because it relates to so many areas — one/ first and foremost is the ‘human implant’ angle which has been disappeared. So they don’t want people thinking about ‘implant’ impossibilities such as lyrics from a song you heard one half of ‘one time’ played back and reproduced ‘inconceivably’ in exact verbatim detail.

      But then you have the population management networks which are probably tuned into the ‘pre defined’ subconscious which is what is maybe used to make the music and then it would all tie together.

      So in the same way you have enormous trouble thinking about trauma and ‘thinking about’ orientating to management you’d have trouble orientation to the ‘remainder’ of what music is, what’s left in a natural state and setting. Hence I didn’t ‘notice’ a ‘lack’ of negative impacts from ‘natural’ music nor notice the positive impact on my head space of not having lyrics crowding your head with likely management-defined nonsense lyrics.

13. Nina
    April 5, 2016 @ 9:51 pm

    2 — “enhancing or making special any experiences”: I began to ask myself, “Can’t I just enjoy an experience without any enhancements?” I felt I lost the ability to still my mind consciously ever since I had that music implant.

    4 — I felt that my music implant synced with others’ music implants or with outside noise to annoy me. (I am easily affected by noise from others.) I remembered how I don’t have much space for rest and relaxation whenever I share a hotel room with my mom, who always turns on the TV because she can’t stand silence.

    5 — “choreographed music with people’s interactions” — I was reminded of the times I subconsciously raised my voice because I felt like I was competing with the loud music in my external environment for the chance to be heard in conversations.

    “Influence my mood”, “hijacked, retasked” — Being negatively affected by the roving vans blaring election campaign jingles from the speakers for the past several days has caused me to repeatedly complain about the noise to members of my household — which could be exactly what the sim software wanted me to do against them. It’s only now that I’m becoming aware of the need to stop my complaining.

    Coincidentally, the ear wax on the right ear has been wet for the past several days. I have difficulty restraining myself from scratching the deposit off the ear canal.

    ===========

    For the past few days I have been waking up around 3 AM, which so happens to be the most quiet time (and the safest) of the day for me, with no external distractions. I’m more able to focus on reading the content here or on my own awareness.

    At the same time, the songs in my head disturb the peace. I feel some anxiety and a sense of urgency because I know that vehicular noise usually starts around 4:30 AM. and increases as the morning progresses.

    A few days ago I read an article called “Decibel Hell,” which made me become aware of the negative effects of noise on the population: here

    I don’t know if “silence” can be considered the opposite of “noise” (including addictive / psychoactive music). But I still feel that natural silence is so hard to find in a reality where daily noise exposure has become the norm. I won’t be surprised if noise pollution is another FU strategy to to break down the simulated earth population with stress and ill health.

    P.S. to Matt — Thanks for your input on “natural” music.

14. rudolfcabo
    April 2, 2017 @ 12:16 am

    as vr focus #5 is the last one i worked with, i’m posting my latest experience here.
    after i did the sleep focus, sim stopped messing around with my sleep…it is however back at it again. last night my right forearm and left thigh felt cold and i could defenitely sense being worked on in those areas.
    i feel watched in my appt especially the kitchen and the balcony. i sense beings and can see gray shapes out of the corners of my eyes.
    while working on something in the kitchen, my lower back felt cold and again i could sense some prodding. went to my balcony and the pillow in my back felt cold and the probing continued. it was 80 degrees out and even in the winter when temperatures go down to the high 50’s, my pillow never feels cold…..ever.

15. Kree
    April 6, 2018 @ 7:36 pm

    In section 4 I started to get the sound of a radio flipping through stations and static, trying to tune in.

    I’m not sure this is related but – We have music in our room that plays at night sometimes that is just low enough to not quite be able to make out the words, but you can tell what kind of music (country, tribal, 50s). Sometimes only one of us hears it, sometimes both and sometimes we both hear but two very different kinds. I know it isn’t real music because if you get annoyed enough and seriously tell it to stop it usually goes away.

    At the end of the focus I could hear nature sounds like the ocean, something people put might put on to sleep to. It was peaceful.

    The only other thing I got was a recent memory. I was working on art in our shop and a song snippet was loudly playing in my head and I looked it up and it was “Masterplan” by Oasis…a good song, but I felt uncomfortable with the title because it felt like a commentary on what I was doing with healing around that time which was exploring different versions and possibilities of me.

    VERY strong negative/sad reaction to part of another person’s comment about their sadness and composing music. Sudden flash – knowing – they killed all those composers to teach the AI. There was a book I read awhile ago where something along those lines happened…the AI creators killed people like musicians, artists, scientists etc. to teach the AI those skills. Strange someone gave me that book for Christmas 2 years ago and it was much darker than anything I’d normally read. They were told they’d “live on” by going into the system, but really they were just dead and the AI copied their skills. But it failed because it could only replicate and not capture the imperfectness or creative leaps a human could make in creating.

16. Melissa
    April 11, 2020 @ 9:06 am

    It’s been awhile since I have been here and commented. I felt very blocked and it was hard to do the focus. I did this one and one in exercise set 7 and 8 I believe. The trauma one and the one to uncover things hiding. After I finish a focus I have these feelings of individual energies that have a personality and a voice and communicate with each other and some are taking me over and my subconscious and conscious mind. It’s like both have been stripped away. They come back from time to time. Parts of myself are very nieve and with trust anyone. I feel like there are tons of people in my body and it’s awful. They are storing trauma and pain in my body and heart area. It is deeply hid. Someone helped me release them but these energies or people or entities put it back and took away what they wanted. Feel very powerless in this whole thing. About the song thing the songs aren’t swirling in my head as bad but sometimes they would play and there would be a synchronicity about it.