90 Comments

1. Tom
   January 29, 2016 @ 7:24 pm

   I’ve done the focus multiple times and I’ve made notes so I’m describing different interesting VR experience areas separately . . . this comment covers experiences of merging with, containing and inhabiting other beings in a VR using different avatars, including “space” and “liquid” forms, and it also describes one of the manipulations used to influence people who interfaced to VRs originally.

   1. Merging with Other Beings Using Combinations of Different VR Avatars including Liquid, Space & Vapour Forms
   2. Russian Doll VR Avatars / Experiences of Shared Emotions
   3. “God is Watching You” Inbuilt VR Manipulations

   1. Merging with Other Beings Using Combinations of Different VR Avatars including Liquid, Space & Vapour Forms

   I felt connections to a liquid form that I used in some VRs, where I would blend with others who were also in liquid form, or who were in the form of particles, fish or ‘similar’, so that we’d be either inside each other and intermingling, or so that one of us would be containing one or more other beings. There seem to be different liquids that I and others used when doing this, and I get “superfluidity” as one characteristic of some of these avatars (exhibiting the ability to self-propel and travel in a way that defies the forces of gravity and surface tension). I also see one of these “fluids” turning into vapour and am aware of us switching avatars during this process as part of playing, exploring and connecting with each other in different ways.

   I also get “delocalisation”, in the sense of broadening one’s range or scope, and become aware of “avatars” (if you can call them that) which inhabit a wider range of the VR environment, and don’t have a solid form, so that someone’s awareness and perceptions exist at every point within a certain radius or space. This reminds me of Clive finding that one person had interfaced as a subtle being to entire solar systems originally. It feels as if within this delocalised or spatially expanded perception, it would be possible to concentrate your awareness at a specific point if you wanted to, and move this point of heightened awareness around within the space you inhabited, or remove it entirely.

   When selecting one of these non-physical “space” avatars, it feels as if you could select an initial radius, but could then alter it during the VR, in the same way as you would be able to switch between avatars at any point. A smaller radius would allow you to “zoom in” and more closely co-exist with certain others, while a larger radius would allow you to experience a wider range of other people’s perceptions. I connect to the smallest of these avatars that I ever inhabited, and I see a drop of water and a speck of dust – it feels as if I and another chose these forms to concentrate totally on experiencing each other and to minimise the “static” from other people’s avatars or the external environment. Then I see myself as an atom and feel another being interfacing to the particles inside me.

   I become aware of interfacing to an entire world within one VR, and feeling scores of different interfaced beings existing within me – I feel warm and protective towards them, and am aware of them experiencing the same feelings as me due to existing inside me, so that by changing what I feel, I can influence what they feel, too – this feels like a responsibility. One of the reasons to use these non-physical avatars was that you and the beings “inside” you would co-exist and inhabit the same space, so it was another way for beings to connect with and explore each other. In a group of interfaced beings, there could be one interfaced to a “space” or “liquid” avatar, and then several others interfaced to animal or aquatic forms and spending time within that, and then people could switch so that someone else was interfaced to a space or liquid form and everyone else was interfaced to a form which could exist within that.

   2. Russian Doll VR Avatars / Experiences of Shared Emotions

   I also become aware of times where one person would interface to a “space” avatar and then someone else would interface to an even larger “space” avatar, so that it was like Russian doll avatars with one person’s delocalised avatar containing another smaller delocalised avatar, which then contained another even smaller delocalised avatar, with these avatars containing various localised, more “normal” avatars like animal forms and robots, which were existing within one or more of these space avatars and possibly all three of them.

   As a space or liquid avatar I can feel all the emotions of the interfaced beings inside me, and they impact me – the beings who were inside a liquid or space avatar would also be able to feel that avatar’s emotions and be influenced by it. So it could be in some people’s scripts to have this extreme empathy at times, because of these VR experiences, or to feel that they are inside someone else’s perception, or that there are other people inside them, each with their own thoughts and feelings and each doing something different, some of whom could disappear, appear or reappear in this person’s scripted awareness due to having crossed the “boundary” of the space / liquid avatar or having entered or left the VR environment originally. This reminds me of multiple personality disorder as a possible simulation translation of this which could be chosen to traumatise people.

   I connect to the times where I was a space or liquid avatar and the feelings that I experienced from the beings inside me and the feelings I experienced in relation to them, and I feel like I’m glowing with happiness and warmth. Then I remember a time when I was teaching, where the students and I felt perfectly in tune, and as I engage with this memory I see other memories of teaching which have the same feeling, where it feels as if the students are inside me and under my protection, and I’m talking to them using words, but the communication feels deeper and more emotional and intimate.

   In terms of the extreme empathy which could come from some of these VR experiences, this could be recorded and used by other management as triggers to influence people’s behaviour or possibly to make someone feel another person’s trauma or debilitating emotions (I have felt other people’s anxiety about me quite sharply at times, and wanted to avoid it). It could also make someone feel more abstract and not related to any specific person, if they spent significant time interfacing to large areas. In thinking more about these liquid / space avatar experiences, I’ve also felt recently that a close other is inside me, or that I’m inside them, at times when we’re chatting. I was thinking about subtle forms merging their bodies recently, and was reminded of my liquid / space avatar experiences by this part of Elena’s comment on the ‘VR Experience Investigations EXERCISE-2’ focus:

   “I feel that my original form also liked, even preferred the flexibility and lightness of these and sometimes played with others connected to similar abstract forms, perhaps because the possibilities of the loose forms resemble the freedoms of subtle bodies”

   3. “God is Watching You” Inbuilt VR Manipulations

   Feeling that you are inside someone else’s perception reminds me of the “smarthouse” in ‘Almost Human’ (the prefix is used in the same way as in the word “smartphone”), where the house has its own awareness, personified in a holographic AI butler, who gets hacked and switched from automatic to manual control so that someone can take over the house’s defences and use them to assassinate one of the inhabitants. This could represent a house in a VR, or there could have been actual homes with an integrated computer system originally – the Graystone’s house in ‘Caprica’ has a similar setup, but the butler is a robot instead of a hologram. In terms of feeling inside another’s perception, I also remember the phrase “God sees everything” from ‘The Great Gatsby’, that a catatonic man says whilst staring at a billboard of two giant staring eyes – so if there were VRs where you felt that God was watching you or aware of you, that could influence or program your behaviour accordingly in the future, even if it wasn’t one of the reprogramming VRs where you are put through the same experience repeatedly and then wiped.

   I do a focus to connect to every VR where I felt that God or some higher power was watching me or aware of what I was doing, and I get connections to angel VRs that I’ll describe in a later comment, the church / place of worship VRs that I described in my last comment on the ‘VR Experience Investigations Exercise-2’ focus, and basically to every official Christian VR – they seem to have had this feeling that “God is watching you” “built in” to them as standard, to a greater or lesser extent, to keep people in line. I have experienced a background feeling of being watched and scrutinised which is specifically relating to officials and people “in charge” of society – there’s a feeling of guilt and transgression, so that even though I’m aware that I haven’t done anything wrong, part of me still feels that I have, and that I will be found out and punished (this reminds me of the Christian ideas of guilt and original sin). So there must be quite a few people who would have this scripted feeling of being watched due to these original manipulations.

   • Mo..
     January 30, 2016 @ 1:14 pm

     Tom, I love reading your comments they are so clear. I really got a chuckle out of this piece, ” “God is watching you” “built in” to them as standard, to a greater or lesser extent, to keep people in line. I have experienced a background feeling of being watched and scrutinised which is specifically relating to officials and people “in charge” of society – there’s a feeling of guilt and transgression, so that even though I’m aware that I haven’t done anything wrong, part of me still feels that I have, and that I will be found out and punished ” So TRUE, I especially resonate with, ” I will be found out and punished “. Exploring “God” more just an invention for the original population, will be interesting.

2. Tom
   January 29, 2016 @ 7:28 pm

   These are some more experiences and details I engaged with whilst doing this focus – this comment covers manipulations used to influence people while they are interfaced to a VR, including artificial energies, experiences of “possession” and “miracles”, and also my experiences of testing and adjusting VR management by monitoring and interfacing to other people’s avatars and adjusting their pre-programmed sensitivities.

   1. Testing VR Management Strategies / “Region Coded” Avatars with Adjustable, Pre-Programmed Sensitivity to Software-Defined Energies
   2. Influencing & Programming Beings via their VR Interfacing
   3. VR Manipulations Creating Experiences of Demonic Possession & Communion with Angels / Managed Miracles & Epiphanies: Healing, Levitation, Prophecies & Speaking in Tongues
   4. Official Western Society VR Avatars Fitted with Technology to Manage Perceptions / Experiences of Interfacing to & Influencing Multiple People Simultaneously via their Avatars
   

   1. Testing VR Management Strategies / “Region Coded” Avatars with Adjustable, Pre-Programmed Sensitivity to Software-Defined Energies

   I remembered that when I viewed the selection of avatars after selecting which VR environment I was going to interface to, some of the avatars would be “locked” – I would see a padlock over that avatar as it passed in front of me, and would be unable to select it because it had been designed for a specific VR environment or a limited range of VR environments, and wasn’t available if I interfaced to any other VR environment. An example of this would be the animal hybrid / angel avatar I used for Christian meetings. Whenever I was interfacing to any official Christian VR then my avatar was always pre-determined for me – I didn’t have a choice about what I wore and could only select the custom-made avatars that they’d designed and made available for me to use in that VR, and I couldn’t use these avatars in any other VRs – if I selected any other VR environment, the avatars would be automatically “locked” and made unavailable by the controlling program.

   I become aware of VR environments where people would interface to them specifically to experience that place’s software-defined energy, and get that there were avatars designed specifically for those environments that were pre-programmed to be sensitive to the artificial energies that these environments contained. I see the churches and places of worship now, and it feels like I interfaced to these as research to see how people responded to specific blends of emotions and how it managed their perception. So I would have had admin access to other people’s avatars in the churches to be able to track how they were being impacted, and would have been able to co-interface to these people’s avatars to monitor their perceptions and how far the desired effect was being achieved. For this experience, I see myself interfacing to the appropriate avatar and being able to adjust slider switches to alter my level of emotional sensitivity to different stimuli, and am aware that I had access to these slider switches throughout the experience and could adjust my avatar’s programmed sensitivity at any time, and that I could also move slider switches to adjust the sensitivity of the other avatars whose management I was assessing.

   These slider switches related to various avatar characteristics including the connections between someone’s emotions and the avatar’s different virtual senses: for example, the sense of smell could be stimulated by incense, and this virtual perception could then be made to impact someone emotionally – the same applies to all the other senses. There are more than a hundred of these slider switches, along with other buttons and controls, and they relate to different influences such as awakening memories at specific points during the service and triggering certain emotions (guilt, regret, nostalgia, reverence) in relation to these memories, and the clarity of these memories and the level of impact of each of the accompanying emotions. These controls would normally be set to “automatic” but I had the option to switch them to “manual” during this assessment – it seems to have been my job to evaluate and audit the management strategies and report back to a committee.

   2. Influencing & Programming Beings via their VR Interfacing

   I’m aware that the other people interfacing to avatars in the church didn’t have these slider switches and couldn’t alter how sensitive they were. The impact of these VR spaces on each individual person seems to be determined by the interaction between the sensitivity of the avatar and the programmed energy of the space. The goal seems to be to find the best way to manage them and build up an addiction so that they keep coming back for more and get “programmed” – this isn’t aversion-based reprogramming, it’s using the carrot approach as well as the stick, by using happy energies as well as guilt and fear. It feels as if people would be scanned via their interfacing as they entered the church and any potential problems would be flagged up and the controlling AIs would use uploaded versions of these people in other, behind the scenes, VRs to find the best way to reorient them and solve any problems.

   I think people in Western society were encouraged to go to VR churches as opposed to external ones, because this way there was a wider range of manipulations in place to make sure that they were managed effectively – it was possible for the Christian administration to control the atmosphere and perceptions of people much more finely this way, by influencing people through their interfacing. In fact I’m getting that there weren’t really churches outside of VRs, so people didn’t have a choice – it was definitely expected that people would go, and I get the sense that people’s attendance would be monitored and logged by data-gathering components, which would flag up any people that seemed problematic or were behaving differently.

   I was thinking about being able to adjust my own slider switches during this assessment, and wondering why they wouldn’t just let me switch it off, and then I thought that they probably wouldn’t ever want to switch off the management impacting me, especially with all the angels they were losing. So it felt that if I could adjust the slider switches, there must have been another higher level of management that I wasn’t aware of, like the networks managing network designers. I did a focus for this and got connections – it was basically management acting via my interfacing to keep me focused on the mission and doing what they wanted. So it seemed as if the avatars all included technology that would manage people in relation to specific VR environments, but now the avatar feels like a diversion from the VR interfacing which would come with each avatar, which is how they seem to have managed people.

   3. VR Manipulations Creating Experiences of Demonic Possession & Communion with Angels / Managed Miracles & Epiphanies: Healing, Levitation, Prophecies & Speaking in Tongues

   I do a focus to get the components managing the experiences that people have in the churches and connect to a computer with databases of pre-defined experiences. When I first engaged with the churches, I’d felt connections to angelic possession (as represented here in the ‘Supernatural’ and ‘Dominion’ TV series) – this always felt more “real” and resonated more with me than demonic possession, which felt more like Christian propaganda or similar as opposed to real demons – I mean, why would a real demon give a damn about a crucifix or some useless holy water, unless it was thirsty. Anyway, it seems like people in these churches could be given the feeling and experience that there was an angel inside them, but that this would be done by the interactions between the tech in their VR interfacing and the programmes controlling the VR environment, which would create a feeling of intense energy in their avatar whilst also stimulating feelings of euphoria, privilege, humility, amazement etc. The tech and programmes creating these experiences of angels in people’s bodies could even control and take over people’s avatars and speak through them, including in tongues, and perform miracles such as healing and levitation. Actually there are stories of saints that start levitating when they go near the altar in church – this could be the environment in which this originally happened.

   Ha, and if there are pre-defined VR experiences making people think they are blessed or taken over by an angel inside their body, which can change what they say and control their body and perform miracles and even create saints, then it logically follows that there would also be pre-defined VR experiences making people think they were possessed by an evil non-Christian demon, who would of course be terribly afraid of God’s holy crucifix and would cringe and whimper in terror at the touch of a drop of holy water. The AIs say this is correct – I do a focus to check with the database and there does seem to be these types of experiences in there too. So these could be propaganda to illustrate the power of God, by making someone appear to be possessed, and having others watch or hear about them being exorcised by a priest – I must have heard about this being done originally, because I’ve felt sure that demonic possession that responds to Christian symbols is totally fake and set up.

   Ah, the drones (described by Clive in the ‘Visuals’ page on ‘The Multiverse: Physical, Subtle & Super Fine Subtle ‘Basic’ Structure Defined’) would also encourage the Christian administration to use VR churches because this would replace all the drone-created miracles and experiences of God with software-created ones – this makes me think of Charismatic Christianity (an estimated 8.5% of the world’s population) as representing Christians who had or witnessed experiences such as speaking in tongues or healing in VR churches originally. The VR management could also set up “prophecies” and then make sure that they were fulfilled either by manipulating events in the VR itself, which would be easy to do, or even by liaising with other Christian management that would influence people or make things happen in their everyday lives.

   Glossolalia / speaking in tongues would be even easier to create in a VR environment – all you would need would be a multilingual AI with a booming, prophetic voice haha, and then you could use the VR interfacing and programmes to take control of someone’s avatar and use it as a ventriloquist’s doll.

   4. Official Western Society VR Avatars Fitted with Technology to Manage Perceptions / Experiences of Interfacing to & Influencing Multiple People Simultaneously via their Avatars

   I get that the official avatars in Western society originally were made available by the Christians and these avatars all seem to have Christian tech in their interfacing, to manage how people think, feel and behave. For example, I get that the cat avatar I connected to when doing the last focus (VR Exercise-2) is one of these – it seems to be what I used when interfacing to the VR church, so it didn’t identify me as an angel because I was meant to not attract attention and just check things out without being noticed.

   I got that you could use a non-approved / non-Christian avatar but that if you did that, you would be on the radar and would be much more likely to be tracked – so it’s sort of like various official agencies being notified if you write certain words in emails or internet chat programmes here, so that they can check what you’re writing and make sure that you’re not compromising their agenda.

   I was thinking about myself interfacing to this VR church, and then co-interfacing to other people’s avatars to check how the management was impacting them, and it occurred to me that I must have been interfaced to my own avatar and also to another person’s avatar simultaneously, or my own avatar would have disappeared – I do focuses to check this and get that there were times when I was interfaced to two or more avatars simultaneously, and also some times where I was interfaced to my own avatar and also everyone else in the congregation and tracking all of their reactions. As I write this I remember experiences in group meditations here where I am aware of the energy in the room and I can turn up the intensity, as if I have access to a slider switch (people often told me they felt I was doing this), and this seems to be a representation of this VR management testing where I had admin access to the programmes and tech managing the energy and influencing specific people. At other times in these meditations I’ve experienced myself influencing one specific person in this way, and this seems to represent adjusting one person’s slider switch in the VR to alter their reactions.

3. Mo..
   January 29, 2016 @ 7:33 pm

   00 Major put OFF

   01 – Square avatars are stacking upon each other in a mitch match pattern, the squares then fall apart once in VR into each square being a different being.

   02 – I definitely get the sense that I liked to merge with other peoples avatars like a lot more than most people, there was a a level of comfort in this, and also familiarity like a inner drive to be close with others, and share al of my information with them and vice versa. This was used as a platonic method of data exchange most the time, but also brought new ideas to make different forms when we were together. However when I read ”OR where anyone else ever merged with or tried to merge with myself or my own avatar” I get a less than optimal feeling, like sometimes peoples attempted tot do this, but I did not want to at all– like they were stealing my information. I then get a sense of a someone in an environment trying to follow me around to other environments and then almost ripping the material of my avatar several times, and then at one point consuming this ripped body form.. this suppressive energy would follow me to other VR environment looking for my other avatars to mess up.. It seemed dark,, but definitely programmed or robotic like. This created a cautious disposition in my other avatar forms, always trying to be low key– covering my steps wisely. It looks even like this energy signature would bring others with it and one time even found my ”station” were I would make everything, they tried to take this down too..

   03 – I see a scene of myself on a chair with a form of torture, at some point they try to get in my avatar and take it over, they are partially successful

   I then get a separate scene of specific sexual torture including electrocution— NO this is not pleasurable !! It seems like they would do this, to then try to get inside my avatar more easily,, but this was beyond messed up and I never wanted to be in these environments ever.

   03B – I don’t need to get into details here but there was definitely some instances in some VR environment where sexual stimulation was used to mess with people, it was less of a like -oh were going to rape you thing- it was more of a how can we mess with this person the most. There were other scenes of more positive consensual scenes, but I think there was always the question- is this person going to hijack me, not because they want to , but because they could get hijacked to hijack me, unwillingly.

   04 – I would try to fight back to the group that would kidnap me sometimes, if I ever had an aspect of myself outside of all of this usually by trying to interfere with them to stop.

   05 – I see someone with a clipboard going over holographic avatars, making sure there up to par.

   ~~~~~~~~~~ There is an undertone feeling of the christians instigating all of this (but no one knowing) It was like they would attack people to then pretty much force them into thinking they need protection, and they can get this from God.. Its like making someone so messed up, to the point that they would have to consider christianity helping them.. But the line between the attacks and the christians were never spotted, as christians were only seen as ” good “” most the time so no one would consider this.. Its like making a problem that they would solve, and inherently get more ” followers ” that way. They would try to do anything the could (while still remaining secretive) to get people to convert, this would be different for each person- but torture and methods to degrade the person as much as possible were used.. It’s like behind the scenes they would torture and rape people, and then later approach them in a different VR pretending to be compassionate, and offering refuge from the attacking.

4. Mo..
   January 30, 2016 @ 1:03 pm

   Clive, Im liking the new commenting format.. Do you pick out our avatar pic?? If so pretty accurately funny I guess.

   So perhaps I may just have moments where my brain fried self posts a really useless/ distracting comment here which no doubt happens and if so sorry I hope that I can get better.. But I did want to double check to see if maybe my last comment wasn’t deleted by you, and just didn’t post because of a technological glitch. I only ask because I have a history with seriously anomalous technological issues that even techie people are like WTF about. Either way, I think this exercise brought a lot of clarity, so thank you!

   • Clive
     January 30, 2016 @ 1:33 pm

     The auto generated ‘monster’ Avatar ‘phenomenon’ is explained on this comment here Mo: https://soul-healer.com/the-impossible-to-think-of-structural-anomaly-an-anomaly-that-will-always-be-visible-to-your-simulated-population/#comment-22808

   • Clive
     January 31, 2016 @ 11:53 am

     I missed the last bit in your comment ‘Mo’ – I’ve posted all your comments, so if one hasn’t appeared then it ‘disappeared’ sorry!!! Actually, magical realm VR’s experiences ‘could’ be entirely responsible for this sort of bizarre/impossible thing happening!!!

5. Clive
   January 30, 2016 @ 2:54 pm

   ERRORS & Mistakes in ‘exercises’ – Someone has pointed some errors in this and the previous exercise.. Can everyone reading these exercises that spots any potential mistakes / or missing or weird wording things leave a comment pointing out these potential ‘exercise’ sabotages – thanks!!!

6. Annabelle
   January 31, 2016 @ 3:20 am

   00 – I feel very comfortable and anxious to do this exercise. In my black vision field, at 2 o’clock, I instantly see a sorcerer in a black cape that waved his pointer finger at me and says, “ Don’t do that! Don’t do this exercise!”
   Next were a series of beautiful round vintage wire birdcages that are hanging on floor poles. Inside them were many little naked women who were scared and huddling together. At 9 o’clock, a large fat Ogre appeared and he was laughing and looking at the women in the birdcages. Behind the Ogre appeared a wooden strip mounted on the wall, with many coat hooks. The coat hooks soon changed into torture and abuse toys. I am disgusted and scared and have to move on.

   01 – I am within and looking out into the infinite black universe of a millions stars and planets. Thousands of tentacles start to spawn off of me and weave out to every planet, star, and person in the universe. These tentacles then circle back and entwine me. I am wondering how to get out of this mess. I decide to take a scissors and try to cut some of the tentacles and I accidently cut off part of my face. The tag photo of Clive appears and says” you should not try to do that yourself”
   Next scene – A large block of Swiss cheese appears against a white background, and I am just watching it. Hundreds of worms start to come out of the holes in the Swiss cheese.
   Next – I am in a blank white room and thousands of pieces of raisin bread start to appear all over the floor. I do not know what is going on. I try to drill into this and the raisin bread pieces start to lift off the floor a neatly go into clear bread wrappers.

   02/02B – I am walking into a dark closet with clothes on hangers, only on the left side of me. The end of the closet opens and tunnels into infinity. As I walk past the clothes, a hand comes thru the left wall, behind the clothes hangers, and takes each piece of clothing off the hangers. So as I walk, I am walking past every hanger, that quickly has the clothing snatched off of it, and one empty hanger after empty hanger and this goes on forever.

   03 – I am watching the movie figure Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz in her ruby red slippers. I then become Dorothy and waffle back and forth between watching Dorothy and being her. I get ready to click my ruby red slippers, as “I want to go home.” A witch appears in a black cape and pointed hat, and the witch has a magic wand that she points at my ruby red slippers. The slippers turn into leopard print dress shoes. I am disappointed and think, “ I can’t get home now”.
   This next section has appeared to me in numerous dreams but now appears inside this exercise, so I will relay it. I am living somewhere other than where I live now. It is tropical and wonderful and very pleasant and I am exceptionally happy. I know I have another home, where I am now, and am torn between where I should live, but know I have to get back to this life. I am trying to get airplane tickets to get home (to where I am now) and can never make it to the airport, delays, confusion, too many suitcases to pack, ( always too much stuff to fit in my suitcases) and timing, to get back “home”.

   04 – My chest is pounding and I see many witches teasing children and pulling their hair.

   I am tired here and have to stop and will try again…

   • Clive
     January 31, 2016 @ 11:48 am

     Hi Annabelle, I’ve been in two minds about making up a VR focus ‘sometime’ to have readers engaged with any VR magical, witches, wizards, spell and sorcery realm the person they are simulating spent time in.

     It is this sort of recreational ‘magical realm’ VR space that you are likely accessing and describing here.

     For people that spent time in some Magical Realm recreational VR, then how can they separate out what is of this realm (as in being able to cast subtle spells and or make binding pacts or promises etc) and what is of the REAL subtle?

     We had someone called ‘Ancient One’ leaving comments here about breaking binding spells, pacts and so forth and it turned out that all of her ‘subtle’ experience was gained in a magical realm VR. In my comment here I try to explains this to her.

     So, we have people casting spells, ‘charming’ others, making love potions and binding pacts and promises and also doing the opposite getting rid of VR cast spells, breaking binding pacts, releasing people from love potions and so on and so on and it’s ALL MAKE BELIEVE!!! It’s from the time the person they are simulating spent in a ‘recreational’ magical realm VR it’s not of the real subtle space / dealing with ‘REAL’ subtle shit.

     So, you’ll have people from magical realms able to break spells / deal with magical realm shit BUT what they do doesn’t work on people who have ‘these’ problems because they are spending time in the REAL subtle. Conversely, it is likely that someone with real subtle ‘strata’ experience dealing with real subtle ‘strata’ shit will not have success dealing with the same sort of things when confronted with someone that wants a debilitating spell that was cast in a VR magical realm dealt with. This will also be a factor in terms of ‘healing’ failures that so called healing ‘experts’ will be oblivious too.

     The dvd series ‘Legend of the Seeker’ has lots of good examples of what would be ‘possible’ in a magical realm VR setting.

7. Iris
   January 31, 2016 @ 9:41 am

   Yesterday I did the focus twice.

   02 – So far I’ve connected to vague memories of prayers that invite the Holy Spirit to enter your body and become a “vessel of Christ.” This gave me a vague feeling that Christianity regularly possessed the avatars of its followers for various purposes. Right after having those thoughts, I saw a metal snake enter my body.

   I’ve seen instances of my original form sharing avatars with another fellow spy or some other comrade as part of a mission.

   03 – I vaguely felt that I went through something horrible but no images came to mind.

   03B – In one instance I felt some kind of parasitic entity within me. I felt like grinning but the feelings were not mine at all. I connected to my compulsive masturbation experiences and to feelings that I might have sex with a guy at the first opportunity.

   In another instance, I saw a vision of a man sexually harassing or abusing my humanoid avatar. I forcibly disengaged from the subtle-to-virtual (or physical-to-virtual) interfacing and left behind the avatar out of extreme fear. I also felt that I had instances where the hijacker deliberately used my own avatar to masturbate.

   I connected to scenarios of being drugged and unconscious. Losing control of my own body and blacking out after getting drunk tends to be one of my worst fears because I know I would be totally helpless if anyone were to do anything to my body.

   04 – I connected to instances where I deliberately possessed an avatar to destroy it.

   I saw one of my invisible avatars temporarily overtaking another’s avatar for security or data gathering. (I think there are some high-level security areas that only certain avatars can enter.) I also saw myself possessing avatars that had been left behind by their previous owners to disguise myself in missions.

   05 – I saw myself learning how to hijack another’s avatar as part of (spy?) training and what to do if others hijack my avatar. But I did not get much details from the training sessions.

8. Mo..
   January 31, 2016 @ 12:09 pm

   Okay so was able to do this exercise again. I felt a lot of extreme difficulty even coming to this page again, this seems to have a thick coat of DDS and suppression. I cant imagine what you go through to write post these Clive, I mean are you ok, or your just so refined that nothing wants to fuck with you?

   Note: Im not entirely sure if Im actually connecting to things that are productive to connect to. Some of these scenes might by not of me but others.
   
   00 – There is a fleshy yet machine looking device with top of head having long multicolored strings/rods on it. It is able to access all of my avatars and is designed to monitor them to ensure safety. Hard to determine if for good or bad purposes.

   (my page in my browser literally disappears without my touching computer, like exits out, so I reopen)

   01 – I connect to a feline/humanoid form that opens a spread sheet to go into, land in office environment to design group avatars.

   02 – 1st time: blue balls, lots of blue balls, inside of blue balls, avatars inside of avatars, they hope out and work to take down networks.

   2nd time: I see again the ”force” trying to cut through me, following me.

   3rd time: invisible avatar, that other people could walk into and become invisible too, this was a good ” hiding spot” when routine checks would come around to make sure everyone was in line.. well the people who weren’t in line sometimes hoped into this invisible avatar suit to hide, many could fit in it, if the size didn’t grow.

   4th time: I see myself having an avatar suit that I could carry along a little girl with.. This avatar suit could ”’ disappear ” if needed to, as if there is people that barge into your space you can disappear with this suit.

   5th time: The sharing of the avatar forms seemed to make others take look, soon the technique to blend avatars was twisted into some sort of ”’ good for you ” program whereby an avatar would give ” transmissions ” to other avatars to blend together thereby provoking positive feelings. Even though popular, his type of avatar blending is sinister, and totally just feels like some controlling manipulators used this to trick innocent people. Later this was developed in more covert ways, giving presentations that would blend everyone to the speaker, or any public event could eventually do this, almost making everyone the same in a lot of ways but they still think there ”different” just from small deviations.

   03 – The sharing suit of me and the little girl was taken over by the force, except instead of just ” no longer existing ” we are in a new environment which is designed to break apart my material and use it, and also destroy it and crush it all at the same time.

   It seems like these sort of interference’s would happen in the format of energy scans at random locations everywhere. They would fill people up with crap, connect them to something where they can by watched by the controllers and somehow often times people didn’t even notice this, or if they did they didnt mind because it was a common place. And other times, if people because aware of this happening, they would simply have their memory erased.

   It seems like I am seeing that there is a form of kidnapping that takes place where one is kidnapped to have experiments on, and then a clone replaces the original. It is in some sort of environment where most people are all just slowly turning into clones, their original selfs never to be found again. No one noticed this happening due to control structures preventing this.

   Some of the kidnapped people’s bodies are later used for someone else to use, rarely this person is reanimated with the new energy form in the suit that goes back to live the other person life, but of course is now just the person who stole the suit.

   Forms of sexual torture were used to get people to more easily open or leave their avatar suit, the form was then sucked into a different VR for more sick purposes, but once again the suit is now able to be used by the people who stole it.

   03B – It seems there is access to a environment that formulates/ refines types of sexual expressions, the goal in mind is to come up with different forms of these expressions to bring to the public, to then make it attractive and then somehow use this on the public to control them/alter them.

   04 – There seems to be a few people who try to hack the above environment that I speak of with peoples stealing the avatars and using them, by trying to stop the people who are stealing them by infiltration methods. Sometimes successful and other times not. These operations sometimes used avatars that could quickly disappear if need be… It always seems like the people who are trying to help, or the people who are trying to hurt are using the same types of technologies and so its never an ultimate ‘win’ for each group, its more like tug o war.

   05 – The beginning of this I see almost a body suit/half robot with millions of little buttons, strings, small monitor for eyes and it seemed this avatar was processing a lot of information in a very discombobulated way. It looks like, this is a form that those who have been ‘bad’ are placed into to be trapped. It is worse than torture and pretty much ruins the persons coding/instruction set/everything to be rewired in the worst possible way.

   Somehow this is connected later to people researching this form to see how to correct others avatars for slight problems, of course meaning correct those that they feel are ” worthy ” or ” deserving ” enough.

   • Clive
     February 1, 2016 @ 6:11 pm

     Hi Mo, you’ve some very interesting and different avatar ‘merging’ things described here. I’m still thinking about them, but certain aspects of this remind me of past ‘new age’ group experiences!!!

     If you think about the new age people, are generally emitting and projecting their energies / or ‘some’ resonances which could be described as merging ‘themselves’ with those around them and particularly in new age meetings and gatherings etc. This would be described as raising their own and others vibration, and justified as part of moving everyone to a new ‘spiritual or evolving’ level or as part of shifting to a higher level of conscious (aka ‘brainwashing’). In other words, this automatic and essentially UNCONSCIOUS ’emission and transfer of energies’ between people is a way of making or trying to make everyone around you ‘aligned to and in tune with’ yourself / everyone else / the group think tank. This then makes it way easier to pull in individual people as it’s difficult to argue or go against a group level manipulation / brainwashing when it’s happening to everyone and particularly as the ‘energies’ being emitted / shared are often giving the impression of ‘soporific/relaxing/feel good/feel connected/we are all one’. When you describe it as I have above it all seems stupidly ridiculous. You turn up to a meeting and you get automatically dowsed by invisible energies specifically attuned to attempt to get you involved with the others there AND to join the new age / never going to happen ‘ascension’ none event!!!

     This being done is actually a violation of the ‘integrity’ of the individual, it’s like slipping a mind altering drug into someone’s drink i.e. they are not given a choice. BUT just like a drug can influence you to do things that you’d not otherwise do, so do these ‘magically’ transmitted energies.

     I’m wondering if the person you are simulating worked on developing and testing this new age / simulation involved group energy / group mind / group brainwashing / managing approach? If nothing else ‘Mo’ you seem to have access to and know a lot about these possibilities.

     • Mo..
       February 2, 2016 @ 8:29 am

       Hi Clive what I describe in 02, 5th time is pretty identical to new age group experiences. I was thinking today of what happened to a lot of the people who were apart of the EAAS, who started to question its true motives. Well some of us who were used like a tool to test/create aspects of the project, knew that it would be highly suspicious if we were to just ” up and leave ” or start to openly admit our distaste for the project, so we would continue to work our assigned roles in it, as minimally as we could (while we collected more information about its true purposes).. In this way we wouldn’t get in trouble for going against the EAAS, even though we were. We would spend our off hours in places like the ‘invisible group avatar’ with others who were also questioning the project. We formed a small underground society were we would share our findings about what the EAAS is really about, while still knowing we had to keep our participation in it at a minimum level to avoid getting caught. These invisible group avatars, had worlds in them, invisible to others, so a perfect meeting place for the spies/questioners. I think there were a lot more spies than originally thought, as when one enters the project, they are subtly brainwashed, perhaps erasing the persons memory that they are a spy, so then it takes this person a long while to remember that, and in the time they forgot, they were used for all of their skills and abilities. Part of this mirrors my life in a freaky way when I consider that I have routinely found myself in ‘spiritual’ environments where I go along with what is being said, while concealing my feelings of what bs is happening.

       • Clive
         February 2, 2016 @ 9:58 am

         That sounds about right Mo (‘EVERYONE’ read this), I also think that various EAAS workers actually deliberately wrote in routines to have obvious, VERY noticeable anomalies appear in attempts to make people here aware they are in a made up completely fake / anomaly ridden reality.

         There were about two million people working on the core software that defines every aspect of our reality here. Everything is software defined and there is no way that you can ‘test’ every combination of interactive routines. You can guarantee that you will have people that DELIBERATELY write in (and hide that they have done this) some ‘obvious’ anomaly either a) because they can / it’s a ‘can I do this / am I good enough to do this and get away with it? or b) because someone WANTS to warn us that this is a fake place / make it obvious. Also, some software writers and particularly for games write in ‘cheat’ things, ways of getting around difficult game areas and these only present themselves if people do exactly the right combination of things at the right time.

         With so many people working on this project AND just from our comments of the last few pages it is obvious that at least some and perhaps many EAAS workers were suspicious about the project AND would then more likely consider doing things to make it more obvious that this reality is fake. I suspect that those in charge of the project knew that many were suspicious about the project AND that this is why they would make a massive effort to ‘manage’ people in the simulation to have them ignore anomalies as well as make people and particularly useless researchers unable to react to the significance of even OBVIOUS anomalies impacting many, many people REGULARLY.

         There are a few things I’m very suspicious about . . .

         1. Crop Circles: Crop circles (images here), seem to me to be a deliberate ‘piss take’ / pointer about the ‘integrity’ of reality.

         2. The losing your keys phenomenon: Specifically, you lose your keys, yet you are convinced that you left them in the usual place / somewhere specific / you check the ‘usual’ place multiple times and your keys are not there then suddenly on checking for the ‘X’zillionth time you find them in a place you’ve specifically checked multiple times. This is a common / global phenomenon. To me now this is very obviously a message that your reality doesn’t function as you think it does / things don’t add up here. However it is a testament to the management of ‘anomalies’ that rather than being suspicious ‘in reality terms’ about the magically disappearing keys phenomenon. You get stupid irrational ‘alleged rational’ explanations for this.

         3. Mysterious Tea Leaf in your cup of tea Phenomenon: I use tea bags for cups of tea. These days to reduce costs the tea in tea bags is no longer recognizable as small bit’s of leaves it’s more like very fine dust. So, why do I often see a large tea leaf bit in my tea after I’ve stirred in milk? I see a tea leaf that is 3 to 4 mm square ‘surfacing’ every so often after stirring. The other problem with this tea leaf is that the ‘mesh’ of the tea bag is so fine that if there was a hole this size all the dust would have exited too – in fact you’d quickly end up with a half empty tea bag and a cup of tea that had a noticeable ‘sludgy’ consistency – yet this doesn’t happen. As this tea bag / tea leaf mystery was bugging me I got into the habit of EXAMINING the tea bag and checking for holes / any loose large external 3×4 mm leaves clinging to the tea bag = NOTHING. Yet on using this now examined tea bag the BASTARD 3×4 mm tea leaf still managed to ‘magically’ infiltrate my cup of tea (it maybe parachutes in when I turn away to get the milk!!!! – this is the only ‘rational’ explanation possible!!!!) . . . I eventually remembered that in the past / years ago I could remember that on stirring a cop of tea and having the liquid swirling around you would at times get a bubble mixed in with the swirling and this bubble would often be about 3,4 / 5 mm ‘ROUND’. I then realised that the EAAS swirling stirred tea in a tea cup department had put in a routine to ‘SOMETIMES’ convert the round bubble into a square looking tea leaf about 4 mm square. Even more bizarre, since I figured out the bubble to tea leaf conversion possibility I’ve never seen the tea leaf appear again – NOW, I’m back to occasionally seeing a bubble. Which suggests that the ‘anomaly’ management system has likely taken steps to either stop this bubble to tea leaf conversion happening / being made visible OR it’s stopped me from visibly seeing it.

         I’ve a few other things that I’m also now suspicious of:

         It’s too easy to lose ‘pens’ even in visible / there is no one else to mess with your desk / pen place to account for a magically disappearing pen (maybe a pen company (‘Bic’ or Parker for example) in the original population paid someone in the EAAS pen rendering department to ‘disappear’ pens). This is possible isn’t it??!! – haha

         Then you have the single ‘sock’ that is ‘magically’ disappeared in a sealed washing machine / dryer phenomenon!!! This is an obvious piss take isn’t it? I mean, how many people do you know that take off just one sock to place in the dirty linen basket? How many people take off two socks but only put one in the dirty linen basket? How many people that do either of these things completely forget that this is what they did? How many people find themselves remaining completely unaware of an OBVIOUS / unsightly lump in their own or another’s jumper because the missing single sock was hiding in this jumper? Where TF does the missing sock go to (did a sock company pay a rendering sock department employee to make single socks disappear so their simulated sock company version would have an advantage? – haha).

         Then there is the very annoying miss matched duvet cover buttons problem. You put your duvet into your duvet cover, you pull the open side straight at the corners and you then button it up. You start buttoning at one end / corner and you button the buttons until it’s all done. Except DESPITE that you’ve checked (and on this happening a few times you’ve made the effort to DOUBLE CHECK), when you’ve buttoned up most of the buttons to reach the opposing side duvet corner you find that you are one button out!!!! This is another complete piss take too. Eventually I realised that I was being deliberately wound up and that I WAS starting the buttoning with the first button hole it was just being re-rendered as mismatched at the start when I approached the other end. Again since I figured this out 4/5 months ago – the out of sequence ‘missed’ duvet button hole phenomena has also stopped happening too.

         Also, how many people really, ‘REALLY’ pay ‘attention’ and or then THINK about what is going on EVEN WHEN SOMETHING ‘ODD’ KEEPS HAPPENING ‘REGULARLY’ or WORSE happens regularly to a LOT OF PEOPLE or even pretty much EVERYONE!! It’s a testament to how disengaged we are made to be about ‘ODD’ things when they happen / and how quickly we forget about them.

         What deliberately noticeable reality anomaly ‘piss takes’ have YOU reading this noticed?

         This comment is now a full EXPANDED and more detailed page . . . read this page here and then leave a reply on that page

9. tommy
   January 31, 2016 @ 2:05 pm

   Your invisible anti sim mates are checking when we do the excercises right ? and have they already found ways to unmerge ? Did the excercise yesterday was sleepy afterwards. Went to sleep saw a old dream i used to have could it be that when you sleep you connect to vr forms ? the strange part was when i woke up i felt numerous other avatars their sensations and it was weird

   • Clive
     February 1, 2016 @ 6:16 pm

     As stated repeatedly elsewhere Tommy this is a live system, the working of which we are / I am trying to understand. So, a) we are investigating certain possibilities here and b) no changes will be made unless we are VERY sure of the ramifications and c) you are personally assuming INCORRECTLY that what this focus targets is targeting what is happening to yourself, when this is not necessarily the case, I can personally think of other translation possibilities that would result in the same sort of effects.

10. Iris
    February 2, 2016 @ 11:31 am

    I’ve compiled my notes from the times I did the focus since yesterday.

    3 — I’ve noticed a recurring tendency of being displaced from control over my avatar. In the first version, I was lying on a slab and interfaced to a VR avatar. Then someone entered the room where my body lay and pushed me off the table, disabling my access to my avatar and momentarily disorienting my senses. By the time I regained consciousness, the invader now lay on the slab in my place. In the second version, I was controlling my avatar with a series of panels and levers when a big guy pushed me away and took control of the system.

    In both versions, I tried to push the invader away, but he would not move at all. I could do nothing except watch the invader take actions I normally wouldn’t take if I were in control of my avatar.

    I also connected to two instances where my avatar was forcibly taken away from me. In the first one, I was forced to give it up after being threatened with harming my avatar or subtle body (or both). In another instance, I was walking down a virtual street when someone ambushed me behind my back by forcibly merging my avatar with his. I was too shocked to react appropriately.

    3B — I saw many souls trapped in rows of jars in a room. The faces of the trapped beings were filled with anguish and fear. I do not know why the souls were imprisoned though. I just remembered the TV shows I watched where ghost hunters trapped belligerent spirits into jars as part of their mission.

    In a second vision, I saw my subtle form forcibly interfaced to an avatar created exclusively for sex. It could not get out of the locked interfacing. In yet another vision, I was forced into an avatar that I had no control of. I could only watch the avatar’s actions from a distance.

    The most recent vision I saw while in an energetically dizzy state was of my human avatar’s body heat becoming too hot while in extreme sexual turn on. Music began playing in my head. Then I saw a man raping my avatar but instead of feeling anger, I felt nothing — just apathy, as if I were merely observing what was taking place.

    4 — Sometimes I deliberately possessed avatars temporarily so I could communicate with someone in a VR environment or space where I have no avatar of my own. (A life representation would be of me using my mom’s Facebook profile to message someone there.) I preferred interfacing to others’ avatars if the original owners were not interfaced to them — it was less traumatic that way. Just the same, the word “identity theft” came to mind while doing this paragraph.

    After doing the focus, I still felt dizzy, so I crashed to sleep. I had a dream about my avatar hijacking being connected to an angry lover who had a grudge against me. I woke up feeling uncertain if the information I received in the dream was true.

11. Anabelle
    February 2, 2016 @ 1:06 pm

    2nd attempt

    00 – There is a horizontal line of dozens of Barbie Dolls in front of me. I have a VR accessory kit to use to adjust their hair color and clothes. After making them very beautiful, I send them off on their journey / assignments and they march away from me. I tell them to be good little girls. They turn around and look a bit scared and almost start to look like little children as they melt into another dimension. I feel bad / sad about this and wonder why we had to do this.

    01 – (wording even “and” or “an” invisible covert avatar??) – in a virtual environment room – There is a strong impression that I am able to bi-locate or tri-locate as needed anywhere as the same avatar. The main “me” is controlling many identical “me’s” to send them off to collect data. These identical avatars of “me” often get different results and I need to analyze why they did not all function the same.

    02– Sharing avatars – I do not want to, or like to share my avatar – it is mine / they are mine – and mine are better. Why would I want to share – but I may spy on others that are really good and cool. I am able to enter their avatar forms very easily like smoke – I blend into them. I may hang around a while and then leave.

    03 – “feeling myself invaded” – I fought back very hard. Big guys or Ogres came and tied me down. They poked metal triangular spikes into my chest and other cavities. The spikes appeared to be electronic devices for collecting data. I do not feel any pain during this just disgust and violation. The devices made me weak and complaint / robotic.

    03B – Many beings (reptiles, lion people, astral entities) remind me that they come to visit me during the night. I don’t feel any frenzy but am forced to go thru the motions. They have removed all feeling and emotions to improve my cooperation over and over.

    04 – “invading an entity” – I have entered another man and am following him around his business day to watch him for fun. He goes about his business, to the office and I spy on him as he types. I then am looking in the mirror to see what “We” look like together. I use the mirror to experiment being visible and invisible inside his body and I am also able to alter his appearance a bit to mess with him / cause frustration or distraction. I do not know why I am doing these terrible things.

    It is hard to continue this exercise to the end……..

    • Clive
      February 3, 2016 @ 10:06 am

      Hi Annabelle, I’ve been having to spend time ‘thinking’ about this comment . . . .

      It seems as if all the Barbie Dolls are uploaded versions of you and I automatically thought that they’d be used for testing / checking different EAAS environments / situations / interactions because you are obviously keeping track of them and can at times ‘be them’ and can even ‘be more than one of them’ simultaneously. However I’m feeling that there are ‘perhaps’ two different angles of ‘something’ being mixed together in the details of this comment.

      It’s perhaps two different time periods one working on the EAAS project and another doing real ‘physical’ world ‘covert’ work.

      So, the EAAS project is in a VR BUT many cultures in the original population have the technology to clone / reproduce physical bodies. In other words it wouldn’t be too difficult for you to make a Golah / Simulacrum or even multiple version of these of ‘yourself’. You could then fit them with implants that allow you to at a distance ‘step into and become one or more of these’ at a time. In other words you could have multiple version of yourself (all looking different) as part of a covert team with you able to ‘sit in any of these’ and be able to monitoring / direct / guide them.

      “I have entered another man and am following him around his business day to watch him for fun. He goes about his business, to the office and I spy on him as he types. I then am looking in the mirror to see what “We” look like together. I use the mirror to experiment being visible and invisible inside his body and I am also able to alter his appearance a bit to mess with him / cause frustration or distraction.”

      The above ‘fits’ more with the latter covert / in the read world tracking / monitoring / checking out situations remotely. To do this REALLY well with multiple physical version you are likely to use a VR for yourself as a central command centre to track all of the data, have AI’s analysing and promoting you while making switching from one remote version to another easy. In other words even with a remote physical version you are likely to ‘run’ these versions from within a VR as part of tracking them and being able to be immediately responsive to them. This is how I’d do it. So, this is why I feel you’ve two different situations mixed together in this comment.

      There is a book by Alan Dean Foster – one of the ‘Flinx & Pip’ series where ‘Flinx’ creates physical versions of himself to be used to have a meeting with a very dangerous individual. I read this story about 3 decades ago and I was riveted by it / the idea of making copies of yourself to ‘investigate’ people / circumstances at a distance – there was also something about this ‘story’ that seemed very familiar.

      About 2 decades later I became aware that the person I am simulating HAD DONE THIS – he’d made a copy of himself to check how he’d be received if he visited a certain world – he was / his copy was received BADLY / locked up – which is what he’d deduced was likely to happen!!

      So, the physical body copy as a remote vehicle to check out dangerous possibilities is unusual BUT also ‘normal’ for certain ‘original’ cultures depending on the circumstances.

12. Nina
    February 4, 2016 @ 7:13 am

    I did this focus yesterday and today.

    2 — I connected to the possibility of merging with another avatar to become stronger in VR game or fantasy worlds, as well as the possibility that the merged avatars can be forcibly separated by other merged avatars against their will.

    3 — I had a very faint feeling of writing for others as a medium. Automatic writing came to mind — I tried it during my light work phase. I received an image of a black demon behind me while writing by hand in a dark room illuminated by candlelight.

    The word “VR environment” triggered a vision of a dark room with Satanic ritual circles marked in red. Yet the circles felt “holographic” to me. I remembered the trope where Faust made a pact with the devil.

    My vision then shifted to a scene of women wearing Greek togas (not sure if they’re witches) being possessed so that they were dancing in frenzy. I think they were drunk.

    3B — “Extreme sexual turn on” triggered visions of group orgies by men and women, which I found degrading. At this point, I felt dazed and semi-conscious. My emotions were mostly numb or unfeeling.

    4 — I thought of a spell that sorcerers or witches invoke to forcibly bind souls to them so they become more powerful. In this case, I as the subtle form was forcibly bound to a magician.

    Next scene I saw was of myself as a ghost or poltergeist possessing a living person forcibly out of spite and malicious fun. Yet I wasn’t sure if I was really myself at that time.

    In another scene, I saw myself angrily invading someone’s avatar out of revenge against him. He felt like a former lover to me. I manipulated him so he’d strangle himself. Chest pain triggered while feeling some anger over the scene. I know what my original form did was wrong, but I still felt justified in what I did.

    5 — I saw a scientist in white lab coat entering an avatar for testing. I was only watching from a distance though.

    I felt dizziness after the focus, followed by music playing in head.

13. Nyssa
    February 4, 2016 @ 6:40 pm

    Hi Clive,

    I did this exercise three times in a row a couples days ago, and still am feeling reverberations from connecting to massive trauma. So much trauma. Very very difficult that slammed through my body and made my body shake violently because it felt like I couldn’t cry hard or fast enough. Felt like all the trauma in the entire world, it was so much, and it exploded violently through my body.

    I was very incapacitated for about 12 hours after doing the exercise, and then after a brief respite, yesterday was very hellish, when it felt thick deep trauma filling me and forcefully pushing out, making my body hurt badly. I slept most of the day yesterday and had countless dreams during the daytime nap, both of which are very unusual for me (napping and dreams).

    In the respite, it felt like I had many people living inside me, and that somehow, I was forced to feel their trauma and sexual attraction for each other. It feels somehow connected to this exercise.

    One of these people is the person I wrote about from the prior exercise – the one I feel whom betrayed me, and per Clive’s evaluation of my comment, “extremely sandboxed” me .. I felt this man lust for another woman, feel his love and attraction for her, and later also felt him and the woman conversing about me like I’m an experiment, and she kept telling him it didn’t matter that I was conscious or aware of the experiment they were performing on me – that the mission came first.

    It felt like a sick twisted nightmarish torture and like my body and all its physical sensations had been hijacked yet I was sentient and aware of it.

    In general these days, I feel filled with intense trauma and emotions of others, and sometimes feels like the trauma of an entire multiverse. But now since doing the exercise, the emotions feel so thick they felt like a physical substance that fills my body and presses on me from the inside, and are physically painful.

    But today I felt a bit recovered, so tried the exercise for a fourth time. This attempt, I connected to much more than just intense explosive trauma, so it appears there was progress in releasing (deleting?) enough trauma to start to access ‘contextual information.’

    4th attempt today

    00 – Just reading through this first section of the exercise, I began sobbing. Shaking so hard. Back of neck hurts. Sacral activation and sacral nausea.

    01 – At each phrase I have to stop, I’m shaking and crying with fear and grief and pain and trauma. My heart is filled with pain and heartache and warmth and love and terror. Lots of sacral activation. Very complex mix.

    I feel incredible sense of loss and heart ache and horror.

    02 – Sacral activation continues and my body has chills all over it. I feel sick and nauseous.

    I see a room filled with people. They all look very similar – dark hair, young, possibly Asian. They feel female but I don’t know for sure. Maybe some young boys. I see the room is filled with computer monitors and I see people on the monitors, watching each other. The people are all wearing skimpy clothing, like strips of black vinyl to cover their breasts, and short shorts.

    I feel like I am the room, and I’m the people, and I’m the people on the monitors. I feel like I am having sex with all of them, and I am a roving web cam that examines everything and everyone. It all feels like it’s inside me. It feels dark and painful.

    I feel filled with every sexual perversion, every sex trade, every horror inflicted through the misuse of sex. I’m nauseous with horror. It’s so awful. I feel so much confusion and pain from everyone. Everyone feels twisted and manipulated. I shake and cry with grief.

    I pause for awhile and the horror slowly fades.

    I connect again to the feelings of betrayal I’ve been working through. I feel a lot of love and compassion for the people I feel betrayal from, the ones I first wrote about in Exercise 5. And grief that they can’t understand. Not yet.

    The phrase “merged with” feels warm to me, my heart feels warm and loving and I’m crying with body-wracking sobs of grief because I feel so misunderstood. Mistreated. Very complex mix of emotions relating to this phrase, some beautiful and some nauseating.

    03 – Feelings of deep betrayals. Terror. Deep insecurity and feeling very unsafe. Deeply scared. “Invading entity” makes me feel very fearful, and it feels like something repeated, like something I know and expect to happen and it’s terrifying. The word “demonic” feels familiar, like I know this entity. I don’t believe in a devil of course, but this word makes me feel very vulnerable, a “known” abuser. (Note: I’ve never experienced anything that I would consider ‘demonic’ in this life.). The show “DaVinci’s Demons” suddenly comes to mind. I read the word “demonic” again and I shudder – it feels very familiar but still can’t remember why. I feel like I’m trying to get out of hell and something has attached itself to me trying to use me for its own purposes to escape too. Horrible images fly around me. I think of Dante’s Inferno and I feel like the story is wrong, written backwards or inverted somehow, like Beatrice is trying to escape and Dante attaches himself to her. I don’t know why I feel like this.

    Now I feel like hell is inside me. I feel darkness and smoke inside me. Evil and craggy outcroppings that hold horrors. I feel people screaming inside me. Twisted pain and torture.

    My chest feels like it’s being ripped to shreds by the pain and heartache of it all. I feel so helpless, like my torture is to feel the torture of every one else.

    The last part of this section, I feel hopeless, helpless, vast grief, in my own inner “prison-hell” of feeling all these people suffering inside me.

    03B – My heart hurts. I feel deep compassion. I know people whom are affected by this.

    04 – I feel vague connections but too faint to be clear. My face feels pressured and slightly tingly. I feel faint feelings of hate, along the lines of feeling determined. It feels covert.

    05 – My body is tingly again. I feel invaded. Like I’m an object and no one cares I’m sentient and aware and that I can see and feel this invasion. I’m crying again with despair and compassion and fear.

    I connect again to the woman about whom I wrote at the beginning of this comment, the one having the conversation with the man whom I feel betrayal from. She frightens me. She’s dispassionate and treats me without regard. She was at the surgery where I was “extremely sandboxed” that I wrote about in Exercise 1, one of the people I know in this life, but that it didn’t feel like I knew during the events of that memory.

    I feel her all throughout my body and I’m repulsed by her invasion and lack of respect for me. She’s in my sacral region.

    At the word “merged with” I feel raped. Intensely violated throughout my entire body at her intrusion.

    The rest of the sentence, I feel repulsed and violated, as I’m examined. Helpless to defend myself against this treatment. I’m shaking and crying, and feel out of control, that it’s all out of my control. I feel like a lab rat, but worse because there’s no regard for the inhumane and cruel treatment I endure.

    The final phrase of the exercise, my chest feels like it’s filled with hard ice.

    I wrote a while ago that I’ve been very oriented towards exploring the origins of and release of my trauma, and it appears once again that this exercise, like the others, is opening up some exceptionally difficult traumas. While it’s difficult to experience, relive, remember, feel these traumas, Clive (and it’s likely horrifying for you and others to read it), as long as this is a step towards integration, forgiveness, reconciliation and wholeness, I am grateful.

    Thank you.

    • Clive
      February 5, 2016 @ 12:42 pm

      Well, Nyssa, I’m glad you are sort of ‘fine’ getting access to this level of extreme trauma. Unfortunately, this isn’t particularly ‘shocking’ to me, in fact to find this degree of hidden ‘extreme’ trauma is pretty much ‘normal’, although it does piss me off no end that this sort of thing seems to have been done to many ‘decent’ people.

      So, you were sent to infiltrate the EAAS project and as part of this you were severely modified / contained to keep you and what you can do / you abilities as secure and as safe from detection as possible.

      I’m pretty sure that what you describe here is what I call VR re-programming. So, basically the team that set you up to covertly investigate the EAAS project put you into a VR and subjected you to horrifying ‘shit’ that relates somewhat to what you are already aware of your covert mission and this team to make you as distanced from these the details of your preparation and this team as possible. They then memory wipe you of these VR experiences / plus what they don’t want you to remember of the mission ‘preparation’ phase. They are also likely to have installed false memories so that you basically only have a memory of wanting to work on the EAAS project and to find out what it’s ‘really’ about but all the back details and the preparation you’ve gone through and your knowledge of the alternations are gone AND the traumatizing VR re-programming will automatically keep you ‘distanced’ from these past times and make you averse to really engaging with them.

      In other words ‘BIZARRELY’ this makes it safer for you as well as this team (because it will be harder for them to be identified). However, the downside is that you’ve a shit load of hidden trauma, which will impact your behaviour and responses in specific circumstances. Even worse, this is ‘exactly’ the sort of trauma that the sim will find and USE to debilitate people it doesn’t like (like someone that worked on itself), coincidentally we only got open and free access to the trauma that the sim has identified and saved to use against each simulated person about 2 weeks ago.

      Now I have written these exercises in ways to AVOID having people engaging VR reprogramming as having people engaging with these ‘IS’ like dropping them into a sealed pit of deranged nightmare demons from a very great height. In your case however, your EAAS VR experiences are linked to this horrifying VR reprogramming shit AND I think my ‘teams’ have likely also determined that you’d be ok having this ‘can of horrors’ opened. We are trying to find ways of dealing with these types of extremes ‘indirectly’ however it is likely that we will only figure out how to release these types of VR reprogramming traumas indirectly by spending time investigating these at least semi ‘directly’ for some people.

      I (and Tom) actually specifically did focuses a week or two back to engage with all people with different ‘specific’ extremes, including extreme VR sex / sex abuse shit as part of finding the people to check out to understand enough to find the best ways of figuring out how to deal with these in as contained and as ‘un-traumatic’ ways as possible (which is extremely difficult) so finding people that could handle and would be open having these ‘shit’ piles presented to themselves would be part of this. So, it appears that they are exploring these specific trauma areas with yourself and likely because you are ‘game’ to have these debilitating issues resolved!!

      • Chris
        February 5, 2016 @ 5:30 pm

        Hi Nyssa, sorry to hear you have these types of experiences to go through, but thanks for pushing through though, because I too have had very, very traumatic things around sex reprogramming and very not fun repeating experiences presented in sometimes very concrete shitty ways in this life and I normally would pretty much walk through in berserk ways to confront and open these but since a while I’ve been very tired around that and felt desensitized and at times almost as if I’d let myself die/give up instead of pushing any more, and so thanks Clive to search for non brutal ways to clear these things as these are very draining and beyond

      • Nyssa
        February 5, 2016 @ 9:27 pm

        ” … people engaging with these ‘IS’ like dropping them into a sealed pit of deranged nightmare demons from a very great height …”

        Yes, it is. Very much so.

        But it passes and cycles and when I’m ready, I know I’ll move more deeply into again. I feel a bit better today, with more inner space; there’s still thick trauma sitting heavy in my chest at the moment and I know this investigation is far from over. But it’s a little like having a bad illness or injury that you slowly recover from, with all the commensurate twists and upturns and downturns that the severely injured person moves through as he or she heals.

        Chris, it sounds like you may have experienced similar things to me – that in the past, trauma investigation and release was re-traumatizing. I hope you find the process more productive now.

        From what Clive has written, the parts of the sim that were causing trauma investigation and release to be virtually impossible are now passified, which I assume is the likely explanation for why it’s finally not overly re-traumatizing me when I drop into these “sealed pits of deranged nightmare demons”.

        Last year it felt like I was bashing against an impenetrable wall in each round of trauma investigations, even though I did make progress – hearing my husband’s song in my first attempt at Exercise 5 was like a healing balm, but it came at a high price.

        Clive, you wrote earlier we are entering “interesting times,” and I agree. Thank you for your work.

14. Annabelle
    February 4, 2016 @ 9:43 pm

    00 – 3rd attempt – huge resistance. My body is some type of “foggy / ethereal” form. There is a TV / computer screen in front of me and I jump into the TV. As I jump thru I am sprinkled with a lot of multi-colored glitter and enter a beautiful sparkling world. There were castles, flowers and unicorns and not many people were allowed to come here. Once inside, I go to sit in a circle with a wizard around a campfire, and we practiced changing forms and transforming physical items – it seemed for the better of all. This feels like some type of training class. I then get the message that this ability to create illusion will be needed going forward during the project – which causes me to be a bit disappointed. I asked about the fake wizards, cults, voo-doo practitioners in our current EAAS and I immediately got physically pushed out of the circle. 4th attempt – next day – In a room full of many TV sets surrounding me – trying to decide where I want to go – this felt like this was going to be fun. The TV’s displayed many different time periods and I could decide which era I wanted to go “Back” to. Nothing forward – and I had no desire to go forward. I felt my choice should be based on which experience I could tolerate – although I wished I could pick and chose the participants and customize who was in each TV and move people around.
    
    01 – 3rd attempt – More resistance – I see myself standing in an empty white background, and I start to melt from head to foot. As I melt I turn black – almost like I am a burning candle. I am getting exceptionally tired and feel like I am going to fall off my chair. My head is bobbing. I need to move on. 4th attempt – next day (even an invisible covert avatar) I am invisible and go around to meetings and particularly schools and churches to make sure people are learning “what we want them to learn”. I can morph into whatever body type will fit in. There are other invisible avatars here and we know it, but don’t acknowledge each other (some seem to be from different projects). Big impression that there are still invisible avatar and/or spies to this day. They are here with us all the time (and they are not simulated copies??). I also feel like I have some responsibility for the animals – they can’t help the fact that they got that animal form, but there is a team that watches out for them

    02 – 3rd attempt – more resistance – There is a huge 20 ft. tall fan in front of me blowing into my face and blocking my way and view. I can see some very intriguing stuff going on behind the fan, but can’t get thru this fan. I couple of people come and try to help me and we put a log into the fan to stop it. I try to crawl thru the stopped fan and I then black out and fall asleep sitting in the chair and almost fall off the chair (I am out for almost 20 minutes).

    03 – 3rd attempt – There are thorns and thistles stuck all over in my body and I am trying to pull them out. There is no pain and I wonder what is going on and why I am having so many issues. Getting extremely tired again. Then someone throws a bucket of cold water in my face – what the heck was that about! Some big thugs come and start to rough me up while I am still soaking wet. I am mad and frustrated and tired of being pushed around, and wish I was bigger and could beat them up, as I have more constructive things to do. 4th attempt – next day – There are many weights hanging around my neck and I am trudging along trying to drag them with me – my back hurts. Then I am on an operating table and workers are taking out normal body organs, throwing them in a bucket on the floor, and putting in electronics and circuit boards. There are also the same shelves full of jars of body parts, eyes, faces and they are getting ready to customize me. (Disorientated neck pain and getting a headache). Had to stop to compose myself.
    I have spent a lot of time in this next area over the course of hours trying to drill into this. “Experiencing an invading entity” – There is a huge white witch in a long white sparking gown that is head of a department of more witches that will determine the lineage / ancestry tree of animal bodies to be used for humans in the EAAS. (I hope I said that correctly) There absolutely is a reason as to which group or people is selected and must be kept in order. The baby is watched as it is developing and as it comes thru the birth canal – a series of micro workers or entities put a “seal of approval / wax stamp / brand” on the baby. Many entities line the sides of the birth canal.

    03B – can’t even read this today

    04 – I am holding a big box and am collecting supplies that I can use to tie people up or track them – string, rubber bands, tape, rope, wires etc. I am able to hitchhike and hide inside many different people at once – behind their ear, in their hair, in private areas, in their eyes, etc. and then send data back to my central self. The data collection seemed to be an assignment and I do not feel I was involved with any negative manipulation in this area.

    05 – A long line of vanilla avatars is walking thru an airport type body scanner. I am at the control screen viewing what is inside each avatar and making sure they are up to quality control. They go into stock in a warehouse after the scanner.

    • Clive
      February 6, 2016 @ 10:08 am

      Hi Annabelle (‘EVERYONE’ read) . . .

      The magic spell / wizard VR world of illusions ‘could’ explain the magical appearance of different sets of coins at different times Annabelle? It is also possible that as earlier ‘earth’ times would include magic / spells / wizards and sorceress (and witches) etc then you may have spent time checking the accuracy of these types of experiences. Terry Pratchett worked on the EAAS project and was the director of the ‘age of gods and men’ phase (likely of the times between 2000 and 7000 years ago here).

      From comments giving details and descriptions of many different EAAS project testing areas and environments, it seems as if there were many different and likely 10,000’s of VR’s rendering versions of uploaded people as if they are having and living a ‘REAL LIFE’ as part of as accurately as possible representing all of the different cultures and societies, as they would be during different ‘historical’ periods i.e. as they would ‘actually’ REALLY be in the final earth simulation version.

      In other words the EAAS project was running many, many different cultures and communities representing many different historical phases ‘as REAL and as accurately as possible’ at least to the uploaded people / versions being used as TEST subjects for these communities.

      “I am invisible and go around to meetings and particularly schools and churches to make sure people are learning “what we want them to learn””

      For the above, you are going to have to had these people incarnating and living an entire life as this is the only way an entire community is going to be accurate / authentic. In other words they are running conscious version of people for decades as part of checking the accuracy and for glitches and anomalies.

      “There are thorns and thistles stuck all over in my body and I am trying to pull them out. There is no pain and I wonder what is going on and why I am having so many issues. Getting extremely tired again. Then someone throws a bucket of cold water in my face – what the heck was that about!”

      The above reminds me of what they’d do to witches? And in earlier comments we’ve had people describing ‘torture’ scenes AND we’ve had people write a few times of themselves ‘thinking’ why do we need to do this / have ‘my’ versions living these extremes? Well, basically this is the only way you can make it all ‘authentic’, to run it all as if it is real, because this is the only way you can check (by engaging with and /being’ the people living through ‘whatever’) that it is ‘authentic’ to them. I.e. that they feel PROPERLY BEATEN / TORTURED!!!

      So, your descriptions above Annabelle, seem to indicate that the person you are simulating spent time checking on the accuracy of the experiences that witches would have in the simulation here?

      This probably explains why you have extreme ‘resistance’ to this focus (and why I’ve had to spend ages pulling out what is being kept hidden in the background of your comment), as it is obvious that the ‘Christians’ don’t particularly like ‘Witches’ (an understatement) i.e. ‘competent strong women’ then it’s obvious from your comment that they are REALLY making an extra big effort to f*** over ‘witch’ types in the final earth simulation version. In other words, they obviously don’t want strong, competent females AT ALL as their religion would like females to be pretty much just washing the dishes and having babies!!! Christianity being a ‘useless’ male only ‘boys’ club!!!

      • Nyssa
        February 8, 2016 @ 10:21 pm

        Clive, your commentfrom last year of VR v subtle:
        —
        “Have you been taking notice of my descriptions and evidence that a lot of subtle experiences are actually virtual reality experiences. Some coming pages will describe ‘other’ immersive virtual reality possibilities. One of these very likely possibilities is that many people here are having virtual reality experiences based on virtual interactive games including role playing games. So, the computer games we have now you can project forward and they’ll be re-invented as virtual games.
        …
        One of the people I’ve worked with has many experiences of what he (like many others) has assumed were subtle experiences BUT now understands they are from the person he is simulating being in a magical realm of witches and spells and vows and such like.
        …
        Because there is so much misinformation about the subtle realms I NEVER READ ANYTHING about dealing with vows and contracts – I figure everything out from experience, it’s much more educational – because LOOOOOKKK where this led me to . . . to starting to pick apart and understand the REAL basis of peoples experiences here.”

        —-

        I keep returning to the question of VR v “real subtle” .. I sometimes feel I can ‘feel’ the real subtle — it’s very different from the strong immersive drama that many memories or trauma seem to be comprised of – it feels fine and clear and “light” (not light as ‘light / dark’, but light as in a quality of “lightweight or free or not heavy” quality) with no drama or script – so faint that it’s easily covered up with the intensity of the trauma that explodes out of me with your exercises and my other trauma explorations, so only in quiet times can I connect to it. It feels content and quiet, no mission or drama or “need to be doing things”. It’s like a stillness.

        And only now that a lot of this trauma (or bindings or script drama or wounds or adhesions or worse) – and often other peoples’ trauma, like you said here– is being released or dissolved or integrated or removed (I feel it being treated in many ways inside me), can I finally begin to feel this other space inside me, or this attribute of myself and of others.

        How do you experience the “real subtle”? What is it really “like” for you? You spoke of senses you have, but what is beyond that? What are the real subtle realms like, from your experience?

        • Clive
          February 9, 2016 @ 4:55 pm

          Nyssa, it’s pretty much impossible in the sim to know what as accurate subtle experiences as a subtle being is ‘really’ like.

          Despite that I got access to ‘outside’ the sim a long time ago the sim ‘still’ translates my external to this sim environment ‘wanderings’ as sensory input into myself here as sim agenda ‘safe’ experiences. So, the external subtle beings have a human like outline and even some gender ‘look’ differences. I.e. this is done to try and give the ‘BEST’ physical con impression / misdirection.

          A few months back I became aware that because I am simulating someone that spends the majority of their time as a subtle being and therefore here I should be spending the majority of my time AS A SUBTLE BEING the sim has created two entirely complete versions of myself. One is as ‘me’ in this physical ‘shit hole’ as a pretend human while the other as an entirely conscious ‘subtle’ version of ‘me’ is living permanently in the simulated subtle. The experiences of my subtle form which is way more accurately following my script are ‘filtered’ and fed into myself at about 10% intensity i.e. in the background so that I have a sense of living as a subtle being while not actually living as a subtle being. Honestly it’s pathetic.

        • Nyssa
          February 9, 2016 @ 7:07 pm

          Oh Clive, this made me sob with horror. It’s like you’ve been trapped in the worst inversion possible. Imprisoned within this prison hell.

          Do you interact with your rendered subtle form?

          Yet .. now that my horror and grief has subsided a bit, it occurs to me there’s no way you would have been able to do this work had you been rendered “correctly” as “only” a subtle form. Shitty for you to be rendered thusly, yet dangerous to the sim, so I wonder about the logic of the sim to render you this way – ie, what factored into the algorithm for it to choose “f’ing you up” by rendering you as physical, versus “severely contain a dangerous-to-the-sim person” (which would seem a higher priority) by not rendering you as physical at all.

        • Clive
          February 9, 2016 @ 9:44 pm

          It’s ‘automatic’ everyone with substantial scripted time as a ‘subtle’ being has a subtle version (which isn’t many in the original population). No interaction is allowed by the sim. I only figured this out because certain things didn’t add up and then asked those outside if I had a subtle version.

      • Annabelle
        February 12, 2016 @ 1:39 am

        Hi Clive. For whatever reason the witch background resonates with me. I have had so many people and new age types and even strangers in shops volunteer spontaneous comments that ” oh, you are a witch”. I have never even looked at anything regarding witches. Then someone says ” do you know the Watchers are with you!” I asked what the Watchers are. They said the Watchtower angels. Never heard of it and don’t understand. Don’t know if this is nonsense but I am like Rose and want to know what was going on with me , really happened in an effort to understand and try to help. Thanks again.

        • Clive
          February 12, 2016 @ 4:19 pm

          Annabelle, I think that ‘witch’ in terms of the Bene Gesserit’s is a sim ‘badly’ translated term. It’s more like ‘super / aware / perceptual & Subtle Aware’ not as in ‘casting’ spells. I don’t know about ‘watchers’ but the core BG lot tend to remote view anyone they are interested in tracking – so they might be labelled as ‘watchers’ in that context.

    • Matt
      February 6, 2016 @ 2:20 pm

      >>
      “The magic spell / wizard VR world of illusions ‘could’ explain the magical appearance of different sets of coins at different times Annabelle? It is also possible that as earlier ‘earth’ times would include magic / spells / wizards and sorceress (and witches) etc then you may have spent time checking the accuracy of these types of experiences.”

      I started watching the series ‘Legend of the Seeker’ in the last days, I was thinking about these earlier times as rendered in the earth sim as this series has lots with spells or things that only seem to be able to happen in a programmed /‘defined’ reality space — I think Clive mentioned this series in a previous comment.

      In watching this, I noticed how easy it would be to ‘mix’ / match explanations for VR vs. the ‘real’ subtle translated into physical ‘manifested’/ magical environments in historical time; i.e. you’d likely have those constructing the simulations and its predominating ideologies present ALL ‘magical’ / subtle or ‘manifested’ realm earlier times as if they are VR.

      The Legend of the Seeker (at least to me) definitely seems to be presenting a ‘VR’ in (relatively) later times, when the physical con was well underway, so to me it is probably a decent example of how you’d take any and all ‘reality’ scenarios that don’t add up or can’t be easily ‘explained away’ in terms of the physical con and create a backstory that has them all being ‘VRs’ or early VRs.

      —
      “From comments giving details and descriptions of many different EAAS project testing areas and environments, it seems as if there were many different and likely 10,000’s of VR’s rendering versions of uploaded people as if they are having and living a ‘REAL LIFE’ as part of as accurately as possible representing all of the different cultures and societies, as they would be during different ‘historical’ periods i.e. as they would ‘actually’ REALLY be in the final earth simulation version.

      In other words the EAAS project was running many, many different cultures and communities representing many different historical phases ‘as REAL and as accurately as possible’ at least to the uploaded people / versions being used as TEST subjects for these communities.”

      Wow yeah I’m glad you and ‘others’ here are writing new comments Annabelle — as Clive writes this, I ‘remember’ to write that I feel as if I am living as a test subject with other ‘test subjects’ in a community; because I have had some of the ‘weirdest’ script experiences every around these areas.

      Sometimes I feel as if I live in some kind of strange alternate space/ realm of repeating, repetitive ‘groundhog’ day / dream like landscape — many of my experiences with ‘people’ and interactions mostly occur as ‘waking dreams’, in the sense that often times I notice huge anomalies with what happens and the next time I see that person it is as if I have ‘noticed’ the differences but THEY HAVEN’T!!! So this has been very disconcerting and has taken a few years to ‘sort of’ come to terms with it.

      So that fits with this as well:

      “For the above, you are going to have to had these people incarnating and living an entire life as this is the only way an entire community is going to be accurate / authentic. In other words they are running conscious version of people for decades as part of checking the accuracy and for glitches and anomalies.”

      —

      “I am invisible and go around to meetings and particularly schools and churches to make sure people are learning “what we want them to learn””

      I have also had similar anomalous experiences where I feel I’m invisible and gathering data, HAHHah this is understandably the case whenever I’ve been in real ‘churches’ as well — for example in going to a christmas celebration or other ‘events’ I feel often as if I am invisible until I choose to ‘make myself present’.

      Ah I even tested this once just to see how far I could ‘push’ it and while in a social gathering in a small enclosed space (with a bunch of ‘academics’ no less ahahaahah) I managed to make it 2 hours or so in a row without anyone ‘talking’ to me or ‘giving much notice’ that they had ‘noticed’ me!!

      How is that for ‘invisible’ ahahah!!!

      • Clive
        February 6, 2016 @ 4:50 pm

        Actually Matt (EVERYONE read),

        if you did engage with different versions of yourself living through different variations of the same time period AND you checked them consecutively you yourself would end up with multiple memories of the same persons experience. So, here the sim could translate this as your experience and have others (representing those that these versions interacted with) both living through things and remembering things DIFFERENTLY.

        So, does anyone else here have experiences where anyone they’ve spent time with remembers and insists that something you both lived through and should have the same memories / experiences of was different to how you remember it?

        Because this type of mismatched memory / experience ‘artefact’ between yourself and others could easily be due to people doing VR accuracy / right outcome checking of different variations of the same timeline by engaging with yourself ending up being translated / expressed in your real life here with very weird outcomes!!!

        • Annabelle
          February 13, 2016 @ 2:45 pm

          Hi Clive now rereading this is exactly what is going on in my current family. They absolutely don’t remember many things we did together or remember it as a negative experience. For example nice beach trip and they respond weeks or months later they don’t care about spending time on the beach. They forgot the experiences of the trip. Huh? And yet I remember every detail down to specific thousands of pebbles and shells on the sand. I have taken photos as I know this happening and they deny the photo image. Wish I knew how to fix this?

        • Clive
          February 13, 2016 @ 6:51 pm

          Isn’t the different memory recall experiences addressed with paragraph 06 of VR exercise 4 Annabelle?

15. Annabelle
    February 5, 2016 @ 6:25 pm

    Hi Clive – if it helps I will volunteer to help go thru the extreme trauma investigation. I feel I am hitting a wall and being blocked from much of this as I get nothing during certain sections but I know something is there. Yesterday I began to feel extreme feelings of betrayal but can’t connect to the source or issue. I became exceptionally depressed which is not normal for me. I come from a family that has been taught to be stoic and even refuse pain treatment. “That is just the way life is- it can always be worse. ” Thanks again for all of your work

    • Clive
      February 5, 2016 @ 6:33 pm

      OK, Annabelle, the next focus on my list is to have EAAS project workers connect directly to the EAAS project VR environment and to what people were working on / the testing / checking they were doing.

      So as part of this I might put in a part about people finding out that the project was not being designed to do what is was being publicly stated as doing – as this is likely to be what this betrayal trauma is about!!! Then you might get proper / better access to this trauma – UUUGGGH!!!

      I’m still thinking about your last ‘BIG’ comment!!!

    • Nyssa
      February 5, 2016 @ 8:20 pm

      Hi Annabelle,
      If you like, I’d be happy to connect offline if Clive is willing to connect us via email, in the even you experience an “extreme trauma investigation” like I have been experiencing. It can sometimes helps to have compatriots in these events, or afterwards to help decompress. If not, that’s fine, just wanted to extend the hand.

16. Annabelle
    February 6, 2016 @ 7:11 pm

    Hi Nyssa. Thanks for your kind offer of support. Let me think about that and I will get back to you. It is a bittersweet blessing to finally start to try to understand what is going on, but so grateful for this community.

17. Clive
    February 7, 2016 @ 11:17 am

    ‘Everyone’ . . . I mentioned a few comments back that I’m writing / trying to write the next exercise / focus on engaging with peoples EAAS project involved experiences. I’ve been ‘trying’ to write this and some comments yesterday made me aware of certain ‘EAAS’ work areas that I should definitely ‘target’ which I’d not thought about before (but which now seem obvious).

    However it’s a) now even more difficult to THINK about / WRITE this awareness exercise as it’s really going to target things the sim would REALLY like kept hidden AND b) yesterday my site traffic / number of visitors here plummeted to an all time low, which is also a strong indication that the next exercise / focus is seriously worrying to the sim as it’s already pre-empting and diverting people away from here.

    So, a new exercise ‘WILL’ appear here, that is the most worrying yet to the sim but it won’t be posted till tomorrow or the day after!!

    • Mo..
      February 7, 2016 @ 7:52 pm

      Hi Clive thanks for the update, I was wondering what was going on. I felt a huge pull back from everything on you site the past few days….

18. Iris
    February 8, 2016 @ 1:40 am

    I jumped straight to 3B first before doing 3, then went to the start of the focus and did it from start to end.

    03B – The sexual activations tend to trigger when alone at home. Always there’s a feeling that I can only allow myself to feel or be sexual or to masturbate inside my house when my family is not around.

    03 – I connected to the invasive sexual thoughts that tend to trigger my compulsive masturbation tendencies. I often felt that I had little or no control over my sexual thoughts once they start. I can only delay it at the most. I felt fear and worry while doing this paragraph.

    —————

    02 – “merged with anyone else’s avatar” — Having sex with another avatar came to mind. The first few sex scenes were normal and fine, but the later ones I accessed were disturbing (I.e. Rape)

    “Scripted VR environment” — For some reason, the VR aversion re-programming therapy came to mind. If that was the case, then all the “guys” my original form had sex with in that VR environment were all software-defined. None of them would be subtle beings interfaced to avatars.

    03 – I am unable to access any specific images related to “entity possession.” I did feel as if there was a program that would simulate the feeling of having unpleasant, degrading, and/or horrifying sex with men.

    03B – I connected to my own sexual compulsions and extreme sexual turn ons and frenzies, specifically how my inability to control them has led me to feel sexually dysfunctional. I also connected to the contradictions within me: the extremely strong desire and excitement to try out physical sex for the first time vs the strong fear of actually experiencing it with a man and the risk of pregnancy despite the availability of contraceptions.

    04 – I think my VR aversion reprogramming therapy also included me sexually harassing, molesting, or abusing others, though I’m not able to access any details. I remember one online friend who sometimes felt very sexually turned on / attracted to me, perceiving me as a redback spider avatar in a dark sexual fantasy world that ate the avatars of males after having sex with them. Other times he saw me as a cat dominatrix wearing tight leather boots and skimpy sexy leather clothing and holding a whip. He felt as if I were seducing him or triggering his sexual desires and urges.

    I sometimes had fantasies of committing incest with my male siblings or cousins, which didn’t feel normal to me, as well as fantasies of seducing gullible men into having sex with me to satisfy my sexual urges. I also felt that my original form had instances where it forced others into having sex with it, though I’m not sure if the scenario played out in the VR aversion reprogramming therapy or in other VR scenarios.

    • Clive
      February 8, 2016 @ 6:47 pm

      Hi Iris, (EVERYONE read) . . .

      This is all to do with VR re-programming – the original ‘C’ culture extensively used ‘programmed’ immersive VR environments to re-program / FORCE people to behave more like a ‘C’ person was EXPECTED to.

      This reprogramming is in three stages:

      (1) While interfaced into a ‘real’ VR environment you are presented / have engineered / are manipulated into ‘circumstances’ that the VR programming actually wants you to NOT do. You are made to experience living out the banned / to be avoided behavior, responses and or actions. In this case manipulated to have lots of sex. After carrying out the banned behavior, response and or action it is all REPEATED AGAIN and AGAIN . . .
      (2) At a certain point after repeatedly living out ‘whatever’ is banned / needs to be avoided the unfolding ‘banned’ circumstances and the interactions with others are re-choreographed to make you as horrified as possible about yourself AND you are made to be EXTREMELY traumatized because of you doing ‘whatever’ . . .
      (3) Once enough AVERSION is achieved then at this point your memory is wiped and the above is repeated and repeated until you have a big pile of accumulated trauma covering all angles relating to the banned / to be avoided behaviour. So, despite that your memory is wiped when you are confronted with opportunities to be sexual you’ll automatically avoid any sexual contact and head in the opposite direction.

      The sim in accordance with it’s FU everyone aims is specifically picking out the part (1) experiences of anyone’s re-programming here hence many people ‘globally’ are exhibiting the BANNED behaviour.

      To, give you some idea of the consequences of what the sim is doing HER AND NOW, then here are some examples.

      (1) – In the original ‘C’ population ‘priests’ and particularly those that would engage with children / kids would be put through re-programming so they would be highly aversive to even THINKING about molesting a child. So, here the sim has them playing out the banned behaviour.

      (2) – Original ‘C’ Politicians & Positioned Public Bureaucrats HAVE to be put through VR re-programming to make sure they absolutely represent the people, are completely honest and so forth. The sim here has them in the VR re-programming experiences of what they are supposed to be NOT DOING, taking bribes, making deals with companies and absolutely NOT REPRESENTING THE PEOPLE in the slightest.

      (3) – Extreme ‘porn’ which is pretty much ‘everywhere’ here are the sim’s conversion of ANTI SEX VR Re-programming ‘scripts’. Extreme porn involving animals was originally about having different physical con animal species not being sexual with intelligent animals of another species.

      The above is yet another reason as to why this earth space is seriously ‘horrifying’ / hellish.

      The series ‘Paradox’ is actually a translation of the ‘script’ of a VR re-programming environment applied to people in attempts to have them figure things out FAST and to NOT MAKE MISTAKES else there will be bad consequences. VR-reprogramming often includes some impossible premise that can only be true which is used to help make people lose their sense of ‘what is what’.

19. Annabelle
    February 8, 2016 @ 1:46 am

    Thanks again Clive for the update – they help alot. Major resistance and aches and pains for no reason for the last 2 days.

    Still trying to plug thru this exercise: Attempt 5 and 6

    00 – Hoards of Viking type guys are dragging women by the hair. Then, a reptile creature appears in my vision field and he is standing in front of me blocking my view. I nicely ask if he would move so I could go around him. I feel like I am now inside a TV set / VR environment but I am myself. A pirate then shows up and is chopping off heads of all of the Avatars and completely destroying the entire VR environment. He seems to address me and says, “ if you can’t follow the rules we are not going to give you access”. Someone on the outside starts to shoot Ping-Pong balls thru the screen into the VR environment and is trying to hit me.

    01 – Next – I am wearing a golden avatar suit and am running thru the woods, with bears and people chasing me. They are yelling at me “let me try the suit!” In an effort to get away, I climb up a tree. Ping-Pong balls start to rain down from the sky. I wonder what will be next. Lightening bolts – of course. I decide this is silly being at the top of the tree and turn myself into a mythical bird and fly off. I am flying over the earth viewing another apocalyptic end of the world scene, and wonder what “we” should do? Worker men in white lab coats appear on the outskirts of the apocalyptic scene and also look at the mess as they scratch their heads. I feel sad to see the earth so ugly.

    02 – I am very concerned about things that are happening and feel a strong intent to talk to someone about this. Then I am instantly inside a large magnificent rotunda, inside a huge palace. The rotunda has golden pillars around its circumference and each pillar is about 5 ft. wide. A collection of the most bizarre beings is hiding behind each pillar. I walk into the rotunda and walk up to a queen ladybug sitting in a chair. I sit cross-legged on a silk pillow on the floor. This queen is a half-human/ half ladybug, red and black, antennas on her head, and very creepy looking. The beings behind each pillar are terrified of the queen. She seems to have agreed to give me an audience and permission to talk to her. I express my concerns about this project and the lack of organization. She occasionally tilts her head in a typical bug-like motion, but does not respond to me, does not seem to care about my opinions, and does not offer any information as to what she is thinking. I continue to wonder why no one wants to talk about this.

    03 – and 03B – “Sexual frenzy extremes” Why is all of this harassment and torture necessary? A paddleboat appears and is rolling down a river. As the water dumps into each paddle bucket, someone says” we need it for energy”. As I pursue this, I instantly appear inside a conference room with a huge table and more very bizarre beings sitting around the table. They are having a discussion and are concerned that they have reached the limit of energy available for the project. It is maxed out and they now have to cut corners to conserve energy. They have made this all too opulent and extensive, but do not want to insert advanced energy technology. Each activity and person will have to be “tuned down a bit / compromised / sickened” to conserve energy.
    Ending here for now…

    • Clive
      February 8, 2016 @ 6:05 pm

      Hi Annabelle, this seems like from times when intense sexual and or trauma ‘energy’ (cutting off peoples heads / sacrificing people to generate fear and extreme trauma) was used to ‘power’ and or maintain spells.

      So, this seems like it is either of a VR magical realm where you were part of a group doing things along these lines (using sex to generate the energy to power a spell). It is possible that the person you are simulating also did this in some past lives during earlier times. In other words it possible that the ‘extreme’ sexuality was just a means to an end in ‘spell’ terms and not about the ‘sex’ per say!!!

      It’s also likely from your description that the sexual energy was being used to generate and maintain some illusion or maybe to physically manifest ‘something’. A spell maintained illusion or spell manifested physical presentation would be very similar to what you could do in a malleable a VR reality / environment.

20. Mo..
    February 8, 2016 @ 4:16 am

    There was a lot of information and connections between things going through in this exercise this time, It is hard to articulate but here I tried:

    00 – I am upstairs in an office building, I open my files, I am always in an invisible avatar suit usually when I do this. I am then getting access to ‘programmed avatars”. There seems to be a trick that happens when people are misled into VR environments in which others say are ‘for fun’ or for ‘play’ like a game. This game is not for fun, it is actually used to get information about people, like a psychologist would use to get information on an child, watch them play. So these environments are how some people are ” found out ” they are in what they think to be a relaxed VR, not knowing it is being used to spy on and study the behaviors of them to see if they will be threats in other environments, like a test. People are selected from these, and trained to be in various positions if they have any outstanding ‘marks’. If they are suspected to be one that will not follow SOP, they will get recorded to then be watched/more controlled. Everyones information is recorded to understand their make up, so it can then be used against them later. Seems like it is apart of the ”intake” process for the EASS.

    01 – Stealing remotes happened often, and it seemed that it was often easier for someone to attempt to take over someones avatar by messing up their connection and wires, than it would be to actually find whichever avatar and take it over, as if the person was a mouse chewing the wires or data that connect someone (the person with machine over their head) connecting with their avatar to then take it over slowly.

    People often pretending or dressing up like other avatars to then have access to that particle groups meetings or get togethers. Much like how in movies a spy would knock out someone to steal their outfit, so they could sneak in.. Except instead of knocking anyone out, one would just make a matching suit to fit whatever group they wanted to sit in on.. The risk with this, is in those environments the level of control was unknown, and unknowingly the person who is just there ‘pretending’ is getting controlled, and influenced to think a certain way just like the group was, to the point where they would turn into the people they were spying on and just get sucked into that position. Different strategies were learned to use to counteract this, much like sending a spy that one doesn’t car about to survey the scene whilst still recording information back to whomever sent it, much like how space scientist send robots into space to go get information, instead of sending an actual person.

    02 – There is the feeling of hurt. It seems as if someone tricked me, by pretending like they were my friend, to then convince me that they were my lover, but really they were used to destroy me. They merged with me, and stole all of my data, then killed my form, to then use it to find my other forms, to then seek them out to destroy them as well. People like this were used to be bait to get more information by those who were getting information, as if the people who were starting to know what was really going on in the EAAS were often watched closely and various strategies were used to knock them down, sometimes very covertly.

    Electrocution was another method used to force avatar merging to happen. It would be as if they wanted to break someone down to the point where they would be broken up to have these merges take place, different types of electrocution methods were used, sometimes this even entailed sexual electrocution. Merging avatars by force, was used when people wanted to steal information or instruction sets from people, ex. they would want to steal someones knowledge on how to make group avatars, so they could do it themselves- this would be down by stealing that person avatar, as much information is located or connected to the avatar.

    03 – Shots were commonly given, sometimes the shots even contained a ‘memory erasure’ of the shot injection that activated after the shot was given, so no one remembered these. They were filled with AI, and entities, and were used to used to inject people with things that will track them. They gave me so many of these horrible things to the point were I got so messed up and demented. They then cut me up and put me into tiny pieces to put me in a glass jar, to be saved to experiment on me later.

    Chips were used on peoples arms, they not only were used for identification purposes in public areas, but they were used as an interface to that persons avatar, They could easily scan a person into a room with that chip, to then simply push an entity/avatar/energy into their avatar through the chip (like a high tech computer chip). These chips could sedate people enough to the point were no one would even know that this was happening.

    Weakening people was the strategy to ‘infiltrate’ them, such as beating them up until its easier to hijack them. Some people would make deals with demons, thinking they would help them get out of these sorts of shitty situations, what they didn’t know was they demons actually were being controlled by the people who were beating them up/ hurting them, and so they used the demons, to test whether a person had given in or not, depending on if they took the deal with the demon or not. .. Of course so then the demons, even if a deal were to be made, were fake so they never ”helped out” the people that thought they were going to be helped by the demons.

    I was ambushed in a holographic corridor by covert avatars who then trapped me in a cage to be tortured. They would then tortured me until my body was destroyed, to then put me in another body to do the same thing, they kept putting me in new bodies to be tortured. Somehow I still had access to other avatars of mine, and made more knowing that they would try to find those and torture those.

    04 – I tried to get back the bodies that they made of me to be freshly tortured, sometimes I would succeed and turn the bodies they used of mine, back into my own.

    05 – I see myself in many testing environments, although the word ” testing ” seemed like a trick, it never seemed like a test, it always seemed exactly as it would in another non testing environment. They sometimes used the word ‘test’ as a cover up for things that were going on that were not tests, but just pure BS… On a side note to this, I get a feeling that I never wanted to test anything, I never even wanted to be apart of the EAAS, but I was kidnapped forced into it, overtly. They did this to others too I think, pulled in people through subtle manipulation methods… Like starting out, “hey come join our therapy project” but then if people said no who they really wanted they would just change and say ” If you don’t want to be apart of our project thats ok, we will make you, and then we will brainwash you into thinking you actually did want to””.

    Overall, I think it is helpful to do these exercises when: there is no distractions in your space, you write notes on paper without lines instead of on the computer, and when you speak some of the exercise out loud.

    • Clive
      February 9, 2016 @ 4:39 pm

      Hi ‘Mo’ . . . what you describe seems to be a transition from ‘suspecting’ that the person you are simulating is either as a spy or that you are becoming aware that the sim project is not going to work as stated so they shift you sideways into a VR within the EAAS VR setup so they can ‘tease you / torture’ you away from everyone else while trying to break you down.

      “Overall, I think it is helpful to do these exercises when: there is no distractions in your space, you write notes on paper without lines instead of on the computer, and when you speak some of the exercise out loud.”

      This is a good approach if you can do it / are allowed to do this as it’s very easy to be distracted and also to forget what you actually become aware of.

21. Rose
    February 11, 2016 @ 7:38 pm

    I have done this exercise many times already, and felt relieved when it was made, because I have spent the last month or so in varying degrees of sexual extremes and frenzies and among them feelings of having been taken over and of (sexual) possession.

    The sex stuff has lessened quite a bit in the last week, and has been less extreme also, but I still have some triggers every day. I just woke up after crashing out and having a pretty ‘clear’ dream where I had sex with the Italian Mafia boss in the ‘Persons of Interest’ series (which is about a huge surveillance system which has evolved into a sentient AI) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person_of_Interest_%28TV_series%29 . There is nothing ‘sexy’ about that man, and I was quite surprised, and I experienced the sex in ‘hyper realism detail’ also, which was disgusting, and I felt already while dreaming that it must be VR (I have experienced a lot of ‘hyper realistic’ VR and ‘version’ sex in the last weeks also). And I woke up in a sex ‘frenzy’ state, feeling sexually ‘insatiable’ and totally non-discerning and have strong urges and ‘wishes’ for things I would never actually ‘want’.

    So I decided to do this focus again and try to take notes this time.

    00 – 02 – It feels as if there are strong antagonistic ‘something’ working against me doing the exercise and as I move through the first parts I have stronger and stronger feelings that the focus is completely ‘foreign’ and that I have never seen it before, and doubts that I am on the right page, similar to what I have experienced with exercise #4 the last days.

    03 – I now feel and see that movie Italian Mafia Boss inside of me, ‘controlling me’ sexually like a puppet. While still feeling like ‘myself witnessing this’, but unable to stop it or do anything. I even end up feeling that I ‘want sex with him’ and watch myself initiate it, while my witnessing self, which is me, definitely doesn’t want anything like that, but it powerless and unable to do anything. And think of the connections between the Italian mob and the Cs.

    During the last part I see sequin, silk and feather dressed showgirls and ‘cigarette girls’ in a quite luxurious 1930’s looking club setting, which is a Mafia place, and feel that ‘I’ have been interfaced to some of the ‘girls’ (women) – ‘for sexual pleasure and service’ for the high up mobsters.

    03B – The sexual trigger feelings amplify lots, in the same very forced and artificial feeling way it has been happening for weeks now.

    04 – I feel that I am interfaced to a lot of ‘infiltrator avatars’, possibly some of the club girls, but also some (unspecified) male avatars and also to some that feel ‘invisible’. I get feelings that some are ‘spies’ as well.

    ‘Sexual energy’ and sex and seduction is used to manipulate people with in order to gain important information and trick other valuable ‘intelligence’ out of them. And it feels as if it is normal to also ‘invade’ and ‘infiltrate’ others, in a literal sense also.

    And it makes me think about how I some years back experienced a lot of ‘people’ streaming out of me, while I was in great pain, and Clive finding out that it was three of my soul ‘splits’ (who I was ‘processing’ the trauma for) who had been kidnapped and cloned into 300.000 (I think it was) infiltrators by and for the Cs.

    05 – I see an old fashioned ‘telephone switchboard’ type set up where a lot of women are each monitoring their own group of the infiltrators and also the club girls. And another scenario that look like the women working with decryption and encryption during WW2, but it is about the ‘spies’ that ‘I’ am interfaced to (or which were made as clones, rather, I suppose).

    I feel that the 1930/40s style is maybe to highlight the ‘glorified Mafia era’ like it is presented in many movies.
    ———–

    I will post some of the sex take over and possession trauma things I experienced some weeks ago, before and right after this exercise came up. Which is about the sexual torture and VR breakdown, I was exposed to, after being kidnapped. Which ties in a lot with my experiences from doing exercise 4 the last two days, and the VR breakdown and torture experiences from that. And things now becoming far more ‘concrete’, I feel.

    It helped me lots to read people’s comments here, about their own sexual VR stuff and trauma processing (also on other pages), and I wanted to write about my own stuff, but wasn’t able to write comments here until now. These are things I wrote (to Clive) 2-3 weeks ago (and I am not processing like this any more, thing are ‘much better’ now):

    “Two days ago the possession/invasion/take over felt and looked more concrete, and it was/is really difficult to separate out who I am and where the boundaries are between me and others who are in me and ’taking up the same space I am’ – and driving me to feel that things that I already know have traumatised me extremely much are ’love’ and drive me to do things that hurt myself deeply on all levels.

    I basically feel that I keep ’raping’ myself, and the worst is that I witness myself ’adapting’ more and more to it and find it more and more ’OK’ (most of the time I ’feel’ it to be ’my own wishes’ even though I am obviously in well known take over nasty energies at the same time).

    A lot of it also seems to be very related to missions I had, which has ’sex/sexual energy’ or things translated as that. And/or ’therapy through sex’, but it totally twisted versions now.

    And I have also been in lots of ’tantra’ like stuff (minus all the spiritual/sublimation stuff), for ’generating endless supply of sexual energy’ for which ever ’purposes’ (and causing tons of extremes in my energy system. And also in BG sex/ orgies/breeding program stuff, tons of women for ‘mission sex’ etc.

    Maybe they created long ’story lines’ about ’me’ after I was kidnapped also.

    Some of it (including the possession themes/people) is very similar to what I experienced as ’VR torture’ (some months earlier). And I feel like “killing myself if I ever feel anything sexual again” (which I cant avoid no matter what I do).

    And the opposite:

    The last days the frenzy has been so strong that I almost feel it as if “I will go insane or die if I don’t get sex now”. When the frenzy then at times moves to the background, it immediately gets replaced with ultra extreme pains in the neck and now also very strong nausea.

    The pains in the neck look/feel ’directly connected to my genitals’, with some kind of electric or subtle fake ’sex nerve system’ or something. Today I have seen and felt ’electrodes’ or things being hooked up to various sexual areas and ’point’ on/in me, and the frenzy getting even stronger and worse.

    I regularly break down and the break downs get worse and worse and I feel more and more ‘suicidal’ every time they come now. I am being broken completely now.

    Part of this I am sure is VR torture and attempts to break me. And all this is just generally so much worse than anything I have ever experienced. This is just not possible to be in.

    I am being pushed so much over the limit of what I can handle. I have heart pains and strange feelings in that area also, not emotional heart ache, but as if if this (level of pressure) keeps on, then I will have a heart attack or heart stop or something.

    It is as if it (they?) is trying to kill me now. I was ’fighting for my life’ all night, I felt, and already before the night also. And fearing for my life too. It uses the thing with not giving me enough oxygen, so I ’suffocate’. And then extreme sex/abuse/pains/take over at the same time. So it really is like torture now. I am so wrecked/broken now and afraid also.

    I started seeing ’the people who are doing this to me’ – like those outside the VR ’programming’, changing, adjusting etc. And felt the extreme intention to torture and break me, which was very much about me being ’a very strong woman’, and also as ’revenge’ for all the BG sex stuff and all my own ’work with sexuality’, I feel. I experienced the frenzy triggers getting more and more extreme, while seeing and feeling how those people controlling/programming the VR stuff, were creating ’scenarios’ around me which kept getting more and more extreme, and experienced it as how they kept me in extreme sex frenzy, while having ’everybody who wants to, ’fuck her’ (me), which began with me experiencing it as (it was presented as) ’all the men in my family’, then ’all the men I know (knew)’, and then they kept expanding it to cover more and more and get open for ’everybody’. And they could do more and more extreme things to me, with me, even killing me as part of extreme sex, and I would just be ’restarted’ or ’re-whatever’. So it has been ultra rape-torture-break down all day, even worse than the other days. And adding to the ’worse-ness’ is that I am made to feel ’extreme turn on’, also triggering now just from writing about it. Which makes me hate myself and feel so deep self disgust and wishes to kill myself, which I can’t – there is no way out of it.

    Back when we were in the VR break down stuff (seem months back), I had extreme rape and torture experiences and also experiences of people being able to to pay to watch extreme sexual things being done to me. [All this was and is also now being seriously ‘dampened down’ so I don’t actually experience it, only as vague’ish impressions]. And I felt this very strongly again now, only it is not just people watching it happen, it is them participating and controlling what is happening to me, or they can do whatever they want, if they pay, or just are ’entitled’ to break me down or get revenge (I see ’Christians’ in high up outfits now, like popes and cardinals who hate me more than anything, and they are even more bestial and perverted to me than all the others, and enjoy it far more also). I feel this is happening because I was ’a prominent person’ and ’woman’ especially, and the aim of harming me as much as possible feel so extremely strong and vicious. Like ultra hatred against me.”

    —-

    I also had several days where the sex frenzy kept ‘generating heat’, so that my physical body and energy felt almost feverish at times (I noticed that ‘Iris’ also wrote about generating heat here), and I had been around a lot of ‘fire’ stuff, processing and reading about it, and also ‘kundalini’ things (I have had huge problems with kundalini in this life), and ‘tantra’ stuff. I am used to feeling energetic ‘fire’ in my spine form the ‘kundalini’ (whihc is tech too), but not physically like this time.

    And as part of all this I stumbled over a website called “The Shadow of the Dalai Lama” where I read about “The Kalachakra Tantra”, which I had seen the name of before, but didn’t really know much about.

    Already many years ago, I had strong experiences of having been sexually abused by ‘Tibetan black sex magicians’, and a friend had told me how the Tibetans used to practise black magic things that scared people very much and gave those who knew how immense power, which actually did happen. And later, while working with Clive and in wsw, I processed more of this and found out lots of the ‘dark side of Tibetan Buddhism’, also together with Matt and Nina, and a lot of it is very obvious, when you look for it.

    And reading about the ‘Kalachakra Tantra’ now was pretty much like reading seriously bizarre ‘death porn’. Full of 12 year old virgins who are exposed to all kinds of sex, including every variation of incest by the men being ‘initiated’ and then in the end some of them are sacrificed (killed). It is really, really bizarre and extreme. And it is considered the ‘highest of the highest’ in Tibetan Buddhism:

    “The Kalachakra Tantra (Time Tantra) is considered the last and most recent of all the revealed tantra texts (c. tenth century), yet also as the “highest of all Vajrayana ways”, “the pinnacle of all Buddhist systems”……. It has been described as the “most complex and profound statement on both temporal and spiritual matters””

    http://www.trimondi.de/SDLE/Contents.htm

    While reading through the pages 6 and 7 describing these far out ‘initiation’ rituals, I felt that I had all of this running through my system, as super dampened down impressions, and being checked out (by the wsw teams). And when I told Clive, he found that I had been exposed this stuff and had had been one of those women who was killed in the end. Also as part of breaking me through the use of sex. There is lots of ‘fire’ and ‘heat’ in those rituals also.

    The 4th chapter, “The Law of Inversion”, sounds like it could maybe be Buddhist ‘VR Aversion Therapy’. Or just part of the same as the above.

    • Clive
      February 12, 2016 @ 4:10 pm

      . . . and it’s only taken a few years to get to and just start to deal with this ‘properly’ Rose . . .

    • Iris
      February 16, 2016 @ 7:50 am

      Hi Rose. Thanks for writing about your experiences here. I’m glad when you mentioned that “things are much better for you” now.

      I had not thought of the dark Tibetan sex until you mentioned it. I’ve read a page from “Shadow of the Dalai Lama” and resonated with what was written about being deflowered by gurus and being exposed to all kinds of sex stuff (and possibly being killed afterwards — I feel put off from accessing more as of this moment). So I did this focus to target my sexual compulsions.

      3B – I connected to strong sexual urges, followed by a vision of my naked self having sex with a black demon with two horns and sharp, pointed teeth. (I don’t know if the demon is Hindu, Buddhist, or Tibetan, but it definitely did not feel Christian to me.) I felt as if I were being made to like having sex with the demon when in reality I was forced to do it against my will. I didn’t feel good about my situation.

      04 – I saw myself as a succubus looking for men to have sex with. It felt as if I were in extreme sexual frenzy and dysfunction as a result of sexual trauma.

      Then my vision shifted to some kind of grand golden Buddhist hallway where all the women were having sex with demons. The vision immediately put me off from focusing on it.

      I did some research and learned that I saw karmamudra — a practice where one male and one female engage in sex for spiritual development, particularly the restraint of sexual energy or the omission of orgasm. The idea sounded pleasant on paper, but in my personal experience, the “bliss” I tend to experience during sexual processing feels manufactured almost all the time.

      The karmamudra explained why I tend to feel sexually triggered whenever I see Buddhist “sex statues” called yab-yum, which depicted “a male deity in sexual union with his female consort.” (Source: Wikipedia)

      I also did bits of research on tummo, an advanced meditation practice that allowed practitioners to generate strong internal heat and increase body temperature. The research triggered very strong sexual urges that I ended up uttering the cat mating call and positioning my body in lordosis position on my bed.

      05 – “Research purposes” — I felt that a Buddhist researcher merged with my subtle form (which was interfaced to a physical avatar) to find out ways to harness others’ sexual energies for a purpose I’m not aware of.

      I still ended up acting out my sexual urges and experiencing an increase in body heat after doing the focus, but at least I now know that the the “high” I got from sexual stimulation felt “disempowering” instead of “enlightening” as advertised by the lamas and new age practitioners.

      P.S. To Clive: Thanks for explaining the VR aversion reprogramming therapy in greater detail. It helps explain why many politicians in my country are corrupt and why my sexual issues persist (especially sex with others, whether online or offline).

      I’ve noticed that I no longer feel guilt or shame when I process sexual stuff. Also, the intensity of my menstrual cramps has decreased for the past few months. The pain would still be bad at times, but instead of lasting the whole morning or afternoon, it would last only a few hours at the most. Sometimes I merely experience some mild discomfort in my stomach.

22. Rose
    February 19, 2016 @ 8:15 pm

    I did focus (exercise) 2 first and then 3, and will post it all here, since it is very connected, and I did the both focuses in order to target the same triggers from different angles:

    I have strong energetic-sexual activations, which feel forced and artificial and tech like, and when feeling into it it feels as if it is the Bene Gesserit sexual imprinting ‘skills/abilities’ and technologies, I am experiencing.

    I feel myself entering an avatar form, which feels like a well known, comfortable ‘suit’ and it feels as if it is my ‘BG imprinting avatar’. And I then experience myself in a group of Bene Gesserit and in a kind of ‘shared space/consciousness’, which then also feels like sliding into the Other Memory ‘state’.

    (‘Shared consciousness’ or ‘shared space’ as I also call it (or those are different variations for me), is a big thing in my original different set ups and I have experienced quite a bit of it with other people here (in this life) over many years. The BG elements of it (it was them who installed it in me for research purposes originally) and the the Other Memory stuff is something I began processing in the last six months or so).

    I have feelings of other ‘groups’ who have similar set ups and avatars, like the other sexual imprinting Dune groups, Honored Matres etc, and the Fish Speakers militia and others.

    I experience it as if I was in a workshop with people like ‘theatre technicians’ helping me creating and adjusting things exactly how I want it, the looks and ambiance in the VR imprinting set up and other details. And I adjust my own avatar like a costume designer or seamstress would (I have thought a lot about ‘theatre (design)’ as representation of ‘VR’ and costumes/’suits’ as ‘avatars’).

    ———

    I feel strongly ‘invaded/possessed’ and feel it to be the Other Memory of long lines of Bene Gesserit ‘before and at the same time as me’ and the ‘shared space’ with them.

    I sense a super dampened down (by wsw teams) huge flood of general Other Memory and also OM sexual imprinting experiences moving though and around me, it is still there, vast amounts of ‘memories’ from all these women.

    I feel myself merging with and also ‘possessing’ others and ‘imprinting them’ (I added ‘imprinting’ and ‘Other Memory’ to the focus).

    It feels as if the BG can, and do, work through me in this way, imprinting those they want, (in the same way I have experienced them controlling me and being inside of me before), also through the Other Memory and ancestral lines.

    I experience myself researching ‘how the imprinting works’ through “engaging with absolutely any test subjects software defined bodies and or VR body forms and or VR environment avatars”.

    —

    Beginning during the last focus and now much stronger after finishing it, I now feel it as if a series of women are in me, taking up the same space as me at different times. I can feel them breathing in me and sense them. It is not like the copy clones, these are real women, BG women, and they can experience things ‘through me’ (?), with my own consciousness still there, but somewhat in the background or as a ‘witness’, while they are occupying my body (?), energy and ‘space’.

    This doesn’t feel like ‘possession’ or invasive or ‘bad’, it is more as if it is part of the deal or something I have agreed to or am used to, have been taught (or even arranged myself?) etc. I wonder if this is a ‘walk in’ situation…….

    I just went to the Physical Con VUE and read about walk-ins and it felt ‘very familiar’ when reading it this time (it’s not something I am used to relate to or fell anything about). I don’t know how this experience relate to VR, if it is ‘real’. Or if it is maybe also common to do in VR set ups?

23. Nyssa
    March 2, 2016 @ 7:41 pm

    Over the past week or so, with the break in intense trauma investigations, I’m finding myself intensely weak and tired. Looking back over the past two months, I realize each time I’ve completed an intense trauma investigation experience, I’ve felt progressively more tired and weaker once the intensity passes. I felt a shift in overall energy levels started near the end of last year, when it felt like something began deeply affecting my energy body in a terribly traumatizing way.

    My feelings of energy body depletion and other effects is now manifesting as physiological changes, starting with less and less energy to exercise and stay fit, progressing to less energy to function in general, to now bone-wearying exhaustion and physiological changes. A recent trip to the doctor revealed I now have anemia and other specific health markers in my blood work that reflect this reduction in energy is now physically manifesting itself.

    My sleep pattern has shifted over the past two months too, from needing around the 6-7 minimum hours of sleep per night I’ve consistently needed throughout my life (more was always welcomed but not essential), to now needing 9-10+ hours of sleep per night yet still exhausted. Exercise and movement and its positive effects on all aspects of my life has been a core strategy for wellness in my life, so the reduced movement due to this lowered energy is affecting my overall health and emotional state as well.

    I don’t use any energy clearing or balancing techniques, nor seek any “healers” or have ever used any “false energies”, which I know are harmful, so can’t account for what feels to me like a steady decline in the state of my subtle energy body and subsequent manifestation of depleted physical energy levels. I’m doing what I can from a physical standpoint to get my health back the best I can, although it feels like a losing battle at this moment. I supposed it’s a reflection of how my energy body was traumatized and depleted in the original space?

    I’ve done this exercise several times over the past week or so but each time I feel too weak to properly compose or edit a post, so apologies for any choppiness or lack of clarity as I try to pull the various parts of this post together:

    02 I feel completely weakened, bruised and splayed open, I feel transparent and drawn thin and somehow “opened” or “fully accessible” so I / my body / all of me can be studied openly, “merged with” by others at will, to extract data and knowledge I possess. I don’t feel like an avatar, this feels like “me” – my energy body..? There’s nothing to me but energy. I can’t stop them from accessing me. I hear the command “Don’t deny. Allow. Don’t deny. Allow” and the back of my neck I feel a sharp pain as I hear those words, like an implant is issuing a command? I am completely weak and immobile and vulnerable, forced to allow this merging and data access by others.

    The first time I did this exercise a few days ago, I wrote the following paragraph, but I’ve forgotten so much in my days of weakness that it seems like I never wrote this original paragraph:

    “They study me to understand how the simulation works but don’t understand I am suffering – that their investigation causes me suffering. The researchers and the people who did this to me, and so many others are openly, brazenly accessing me, merging into me daily to gain knowledge while “here”, their simulated forms turn others against me, disparage me and ignore me and treat me with indifference. Treat me roughly, like an object. Everything they know about the research comes from me and they are sucking me dry. My energy gets lower every day. I feel vulnerable and abused. They keep taking away pieces of myself. They think they are doing the right thing but they don’t talk to me, don’t ask me what I know – they guess and confer with each other and guess again and hack off little parts of me over and over. Why don’t they just ask me?”

    03 I feel weak and abused and bruised. They’ve installed AIs inside my energy body to help them with their investigation but the AI’s aren’t properly calibrated, so the AIs are providing incorrect guidance. The AIs feel created to specs designed to hide the truth instead of reveal it, yet the researchers believe the AIs are the answer to reveal truth. They trust the AIs too much.

    I feel someone merging into me, to check on me, wondering why my energy level is so low. He feels like he knows I’m a person, not a research object. He doesn’t feel invasive to me. He just wants to be sure I’m ok and he’s now worried because I’m not and doesn’t understand why (nor understand how I’m being treated – it feels there is a gap in his thinking right now – he hasn’t made the connection yet?).

    03B I feel hacked into and am then used for others pleasure – feels that by accessing a virtual version of me, others can use me for their pleasure, and my body “here” is filled with sacral and heart energies when they think of me during sex or “imagine” having sex with me. I see a VR version of me, and I see others interacting with it without my control or consent, and me “here” feels the energetic experiences of the VR version of me, against my will or consent. (Note: I don’t know if others “do” this to me if they think of me during sex, or if this is just a past /original space memory/experience, but I do feel these sensations and experiences “here” often .. When I give myself some space to think about it, it doesn’t feel “real” as in “a person here is doing this to me”, rather it feels like an echo of an original traumatic set-up, presented “very, VERY realistically as being done by a person I know, to stir up drama,” to distract from considering the proper origin of it, and/or to keep me from interacting decently with the people it’s presented as being done to me by, or to confuse me by making me feel someone “loves” me when in actuality I’m irrelevant to them, forgotten by them, and/or despised by them).

    04 I feel so weakened and abused I become nothing but a shell of a person with no ability to stand on my own. I am only a fragment of my former self. Nothing left of me, except a repeating loop of my worst nightmares. I disgust myself… a screaming wraith tormenting others to try to be heard, to be loved, to be respected, yet I’m so horrible and disgusting, obscenely vile. Nothing but a nightmare to behold, feels like I sometimes exacted revenge on those I’ve been programmed by my pain to believe “wronged” me, but even the revenge feels like tormented, twisted cries for love. I’m revolted and repulsed by what’s left of myself, horrified at my actions, and feels like I deserve to be chained up and left to rot. I’m a horrible spectacle and shudder at the sight of my own grotesqueness.

    A tiny voice inside me, like a child’s pure heart, weeps. Defenseless and not strong enough to stop this. To free myself.

    05 This section returns me to the “nested data sets” that I wrote of in VR-2, Section 2B (covert use of avatars). I find myself exploring the nested VRs, moving through them, in and out of “avatars accessing avatars, accessing avatars”. I don’t feel like I’m hacking them – I’m a different form – it’s all feels “inside” me somehow, or it feels like data I naturally have access to, so it feels like I’m merely exploring “Myself”, so there’s no security violations, no hacking, no stealth. Just me as an observer, moving from dataset to dataset, room to room, avatar to avatar, VR to VR. And I’m puzzled – watching people create avatars and VRs and using their avatars to engage with more avatars in more VRs.

    It feels like I realize they think this is “real” – that they have forgotten where they are and what they are doing. I feel deeply uncomfortable.

    —
    I’m not doing well and had a lot of resistance to posting this because these days and weeks have been very disorienting, I feel a lot of self-repulsion and vulnerabilities, and I sometimes can’t recall from one day to the next what I just went through. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this before, except perhaps in times when I have been in recovery from surgery when “the only goal for the day is to get through the day.”

    • Clive
      March 6, 2016 @ 4:26 pm

      Nyssa, Trent, Nina, Megan ‘Everyone’, ‘IF’ you remember just over a month back ‘Trent’ left a comment describing some very different ‘management’ that emerged while he was doing the exercises.

      We hacked this (Tom,Matt, myself), however, as this seemed to he a security defence set up that was ‘behind’ what it was defending then I was a bit puzzled. Over the last week or two we’ve become aware that this was the FRONT for a deeper set of FU / and managing shit that again was using processor ‘designer’ attributes to make hacking it extremely difficult.

      Over the last week we’ve found that this new shit was absolutely ‘LOCKING’ some people into their shit – i.e. it will absolutely maintain / and or attempt to make worse the ‘FU’s applied to yourself (Nyssa you’ve this, hence the build up of fatigue – I’d have a rest for a few days until I put up a comment giving the ‘all clear’ (anyone else that is having things worsening while doing the exercises I’d back off until I put up a comment letting you know we’ve this baseline set of ‘shit’ is understood enough such that we can start to ‘adjust’ things)).

      Some of the angles of ‘shit’ (described below) are defined as Body Models (BM), others involve a Transformational Matrix (TM) (if ‘x’ do ‘y’) & or specific ‘software routines’ (SR). Anything involving either TM or SR means that in-depth investigations will be necessary because different transformations / SR’s and maybe combinations of these could be specific to different ‘groups’ of people or even be specific to some ‘effect / allergy / physical injury’ and or even to a single individual.

      The below are more ‘physical’ and or ‘environmental’ orientated

      1. (BM) – Natural Subtle Interferences (can be deleted)
      2. (BM) – Physical Body Toxins / chemicals (can be deleted)
      3. (BM+TM) – GMO, Genetic Modifications, Modifying YOU!!! (STILL under investigation)
      4. (BM+TM) – Physical Body Health, Injuries (STILL under investigation – SD)
      5. (BM+TM) – Allergic Reactions, Allergies & Medication Side Effects (STILL under investigation – SD)
      6. (TM) – External Environment Irritations, Annoyances, Problems (noise, flies, mould . . .) – (STILL under investigation)

      1. Specific ‘Dangerous’ to the SP’s people ‘SHIT’ lock (under investigation – SD++)

      The below are more larger scale influencing (all the below from here are TH+SR driven)

      1. Cultures, Communities, Ideologies (under investigation)
      2. Authority/Status, Standing, Position, Role, Job, Income, Wealth (under investigation – SD)
      3. Assigned ‘Manipulated’ Leader to any scale of ‘Group’ (under investigation)

      The below are more Personal Behaviour, Attitude, Personal Interactions & Relationships, ‘FU’ orientated

      1. Gender, Sexual Attractions, Sexuality, Sexual Extremes (under investigation – SD)
         
      2. Psychiatric Issues (under investigation – SD)
      3. Addictions, Compulsions & Obsessive behaviours (under investigation – SD)
      4. Evaluations, Advice, Decisions, Options, Life Choices (under investigation – SD)
      5. Bad luck, Misfortune, Clumsiness, Mishaps, Accidents (under investigation)
      6. Entertained, Mindless, Disengaged, Disinterested, Isolated, Uninvolved (under investigation)
      7. Cause Reactions, Chaos & Fall Out’s Between Individuals (under investigation)

      AND . . . there are another 6 to add to the above lists we’ve not figured out / identified what they do yet.

      The above Coding & Descriptions explained:

      Under Investigation – trying to understand enough to figure out how to deal with it properly.
      Security Detected (SD) – this angle of ‘DEBILITATIONS’ is specifically protected, which will make just trying to access these areas difficult until security is hacked then any changes to anyone’s data will likely to be restored and we are also likely to be strategically messed with as part of distracting and diverting from these areas. Once the ‘security’ is hacked the software routines have to be ‘hacked/investigated’ to understand enough before changes. In other words you need to hack any defences (if there are any) then you need to hack the routines that make up this angle to be able to understand enough to make changes.

      As we figure out more about how everything above ‘works’ then people that have been doing the exercises here will be ‘fiddled with’ – haha to reduce / clear / delete ‘Whatever’ as and when we can do this!!!

      • Mo.
        March 7, 2016 @ 7:40 am

        Clive, as always the updates are appreciated. Your advice about taking a break is confirming as I haven’t done them in some weeks now.. Just noting the extreme levels of punishment associated with doing the exercises for some, honestly wouldnt be surprised if someone was eliminated/killed instantly from succesfully doing one of exercises here.

        • Clive
          March 11, 2016 @ 3:35 pm

          Hi ‘Mo’, Yea, I’d still advise that ‘enthusiastic’ exercise doers still have a break, despite that in the last 24 hours we seem to have run out of ‘shit’ restoring or re-instating or using other approaches to do the same and all of the management and security and protection of the ‘core’ sim software and all the variations of these and all restore protocols of these too. So, with free access to what is defining ourselves including what is putting us into and maintaining ‘extremes / debilitating states’ these can now be investigated properly and dealt with in finer detail or in some cases understood enough that we can start undoing / rewinding / sorting out some specific things that we hadn’t understood enough about to start doing this until now. Which is why I’ve been to busy to reply to comments for a while . . .

          If ‘regulars’ here need to do any focus they’ll either be strongly nudged or I’ll be nudged to mention this (or perhaps put up another exercise / focus covering an area we’re not sure about).

      • Nyssa
        March 8, 2016 @ 7:48 pm

        Yes, thank you, I’ll take a rest. I do have notes from the exercises I’ve already done over the past weeks but not yet posted that I’ll work on pulling together and posting as I am able.

        I’m feeling a little bit better energy-wise today (it’s a feeling of general fatigue, not “incapacitating”). I am rather emotional these days though, now being pulled through difficult self-directed emotions (self-aversion, self-repulsion, self-disgust, self-directed negative feelings of despair or frustration etc resulting from being presented with how ‘self-absorption’ – or any of my actions for that matter – impacts or drains or harms others, feelings of powerlessness and worthlessness, and other variations on this theme), but working to integrate them the best I’m able. I don’t see a category that overtly addresses these types of feelings — perhaps it’s one that you’re still working on, or is it included in a category?

        Some of these difficult emotions I’m strongly experiencing these days feel like debilitating emotions caused by direct programming of some sort, then subsequent layers/variations of those debilitating emotions (from the repeating simulations?) and then when I feel into the emotional resonances, I am finding the same emotional resonance repeated ‘here’ over and over throughout the course of my life, stretching back to early childhood.

        I notice some of these self-directed emotions (especially ‘worthlessness’) feel ‘directly inserted’ (via tech??) into my ears and the sensation is accompanied with tremendous ear and inner head pain and pressures. It may be a “thought” or “command” being inserted via my ears somehow?- it’s a very odd painful experience, where I sense ‘worthlessness’ in my ears yet it’s not auditory.

        In general, I also notice that I’m getting stronger feelings of trauma in areas of my body that I’d felt VR-tech inserted (ears, eyes, chest, head, sacral, even feet), and feelings of being taken through trauma of painful and disorienting VR tech calibration and adjustment.

        FYI, on a slightly different note, in the days after I’d posted the comment last week, Clive, I’d been taken back through a repeat of many of the most difficult trauma investigations I’ve been through over the past several months, coupled with intense additional physical effects that layered over the inner effects. The result was days repeating the torture stuff and other hard stuff I’ve been through in the last 3-4 months or so, with the added experience of intense physical pain on top of the subtle /energetic / emotional trauma and pain. The pain was often presented at “unexpected times”, such as a torture reenactment that hit me while driving while my children were in the car with me. The torture pain was so intense it almost made me black out so I had to fight to maintain composure and alertness, and had to quell my panic of the lack of control of the unfolding experience so I could drive home safely.

        The lack of control and context, and the feeling of an “unexpected and unrelenting onslaught of ever-changing tactics” felt a key theme of the overall experience of last week’s intensity, instilling considerable fear in me (see below).

        The good news is this ‘trauma investigation repeat’ didn’t include any cycles related to “ending it all”; if any of those cycles, such as one I recently went through that felt like “every way a subtle being who is interfaced to a physical avatar can die/kill itself and then realize it’s not dead / be brought back to life” had been presented in conjunction with the “torture and pain and other hard stuff” cycle repeat I was taken through last week, I don’t know if I would have made it through last week.

        So as traumatizing as last week’s hellish barrage was for me, it could have been much, much worse. And now that I’ve had a little time and space to think about it, I am considering that perhaps the trauma I incurred with the repeat of the “torture and pain” trauma investigations last week may possibly represent trauma incurred in the original space in attempting to explore my own trauma in the original space, and / or, trauma incurred from being used as a “trauma project person” to explore these types of traumas in general in the original space?

        Mm I also notice a faint pattern here – how my feelings of subtle energy depletion are now manifesting as physiological effects like anemia and other physically measurable effects relating to available energy, and then how the very difficult trauma investigations regarding torture/pain etc., were unexpectedly repeated last week but this time with more intense physical pain than previously (the events of last week were so painful they made me scream). Writing this, I wonder if this faintly observable pattern of “physical manifestations” represents yet another ‘layer’ to these cycles of trauma investigations – that I’m now being taken (safely although very intensely – anemia is curable, and the torture pain of last week was temporary and the sessions were shorter than the first time through for these investigations) into how these subtle traumas began to manifest as physically experienced traumas?

        I admit I feel fear about where this is going or what’s going to happen next, but I accept that my ‘fear’ is likely an emotional resonance that I also need to explore (ie, how much fear would these traumas – and investigations of these traumas – would I have felt in the original space?? Loads and loads, I’d think), so will trust the process and take it day by day.

        It feels a bit ‘odd’ to be posting about all this, but if any of it is useful to others, the neutral/ passive nature of posted communication can allow others to engage with–or not engage with–my experience as their needs dictate. Or, if you’d rather I not post an update such as this, feel free to not ‘approve’ it.

        • Clive
          March 11, 2016 @ 4:01 pm

          Hi Nyssa, here are some of the ‘missing’ main ‘delivery of shit / debilitation’ categories now identified:

          Couple, Family, Parent, Child, Sibling Relationships, Behaviour, Roles

          Polarizations that match up with the Simulations ‘Objectives’

          Control, Influence, Lies, Manipulation, Uncaring, Domination – V – Caring, Supportive, Sharing, Generous, Honesty, Openness, Trust
          Strength, Will, Determination, Energetic, Can Do Anything – V – Bored, Listless, Flat, Robotic, Meaningless, Keep Going
          Confident, Success, Approval, Status Quo – V – Failure, Anxiety, Stress, Shocks, Doubts, Must do Better

          Basically if you become an uncaring, psychopath you are rewarded. That’s predictable isn’t it!!!

          I’ve extreme tiredness / crashing out stuff too that although was getting way better it was back the last 4/5 days – today is the first day for ages I’ve not crashed once or twice during the day for and hour or two. Desperate attempt by the extreme managing shit using my pre-defined shit against me – fortunately I ‘really’ don’t have much it can use to cause me serious problems with.

          —————————————————-

          And in case you or any one else is interested, when we were hacking, chasing down and stripping down the drone strata ‘shit’ layer about 6 years ago. The ‘categories’ below we had 3/4 ‘focuses’ targeting each. In other words a ‘different’ set of shit negatively impacting ourselves targeting very similar angles . . . (the descriptions are more ‘new age / spiritual’ orientated and less ‘focused’ compared to the new descriptions

          “I DON’T want” Responses to Adversity

          Debilitating Emotions or Reactions: RF
          Shocks, Alarms, Stress, Life Changes Crap
          Orientate AWAY from life crap & ISSUES

          Responses to Extremes of Adversity

          Stand/Hold Against on going Adversity
          Sabotage success, avoid loss of hope
          Will, Focus, Bad Vibes, Control, Power

          End Points of Extreme Adversity

          Chronic Ill Health, Sickness, Pain, Aging
          Losing it, Life Escape, Self Harm, Suicide

          Communicate, Argue, Conflict, Disputes

          Communicate, Discuss, Express, Argue
          Personal Conflict, Confrontation: WSD
          Ongoing Extreme Conflicts, Disasters, Injustice

          People, Personal & Intimate Interactions

          Socialising, Visitors & Friendships
          Attractions, Love, Confidence, Looks
          Exclusive, Special, Personal Relationships
          SEX, Sexuality & Sexual Relationships
          Families; Child v Parent v Grandparent
          New Life, Pregnancy, Procreation
          Managers, Bosses, Subordinates

          Forced Gender Polarizations

          Men, Male, Masculine Polarizations
          Female, Feminine Polarizations

          Bind to & Break Decisions & Commitments

          Bonds, Decisions, Vows, Likes and Hates
          Failing to Succeed
          Manage Heart felt, Beliefs & Commitments
          Manage Heart Felt Betrayals & Let Downs

          Community, Society, General Population

          Help, Care, Support for Self or Others
          Groups, Paths, Ways, Communities

          General Alignments; Force Away From

          FROM: Negative, BAD, Wrong, Evil
          FROM: The Unknown, Hidden, CAUSES
          FROM: Conscious, Stimulated, Present

          Actions Against Anything WE ARE . . .

          Against: Important Goals, Ambitions
          Against: +ve Values, Qualities, Attributes
          Against; Vital, Energised, Decisive
          Against: Capable, Skilled or Exceptional
          Against: Welcoming, Hospitable, Open
          Against: Happy, Fulfilled, Meaningful
          Against: Wise, Deep, Personal Knowing
          Against: Subtle, Sensitive, Aware

24. Clive
    March 4, 2016 @ 6:15 pm

    UPDATE / Everyone – things have been mad busy in ‘hacking’ terms, I’ll try and reply to the current ‘waiting’ comments and perhaps give some context to what has been going on the last few weeks hopefully tomorrow!!!!

25. Mirei
    March 14, 2016 @ 4:47 pm

    I have been putting off this focus for a while and I had an out right ‘I refuse ‘ mentality because I saw the words ‘possession’ and ‘ entity attachment’ . I can’t stand that shit. I’ve watched very few scary movies and the few I have have always kept me awake and stopped me from sleeping I watched ‘fourth kind’ twice the first time I did I couldn’t sleep for 3.weeks I honestly thought my body was going to give up on me from sleep deprivation (a kind of slow torture I swear) and the second time I watched it(I did it to see if I could overcome it ) after a couple months made me lose about 2 weeks of sleep. Pretty much anything related to possession demons scary shit will always be saved and used against me as in I am inundated with terrifying imagery for weeks after… I also have a weird habit of needing to keep my hands and feet inside my bed because I’m afraid something will grab it…as long as it’s two inches inside my bed I can sleep….I think a lot of people have a fear of something under their bed…..I wonder why its so common….there was a doctor who episode on it a while ago….another creepy episode on doctor which discussed why was everyone afraid of the dark why was it such a universal fear…..DUN DUN DUNNNN!

    Also when I was tossing up the vr 4 and doing this one there were some strange noises coming from inside the wall and I felt as if some force was hanging over me and felt something pressing against and into my forehead. That was enough to freak me out but I’ve finally come round and did this one…the creepy strange noises started again about half way through

    When I was connecting to ‘invaded’ -I saw a network of tubes containing green liquid which was I sensed being pumped into my veins I felt disgusted and invaded. For ‘merged’ I saw myself and another person as bits of data kinda like puzzle pieces I think I was a blue color I forgot the other persons color I think he or she was green and it would be bits of me connecting with bits of them and this would create something new like a desired blend of qualities it felt sort of experimental but with a goal/outcome in mind.

    ‘where anyone else merged with or tied to merge with my avatar’ I immediately think back to my time in south America and all the men who would pursue and hit on me , yuck! When I reread this part I see myself being merged and integrated to a more powerful being or so it seem and I’m being used for some qualities I posses and ability.like how a Transformer (you know the movie) are made from car parts except I saw myself as individual data parts integrated to parts of its back and neck head shoulder area…..Kinda reminds me of an anime I watched ages ago where people were partnered up and one of them held a weapon inside so they were part weapon and used in fighting…

    I vaguely felt like something registered ‘force’ felt like an omnipresent force invisible and influencing. Also get a sense a group of people outside the vr would control and influence us. At ‘influenced’ I got the sense of some kind of frequency directed at my head that warped my ability to think and what I thought …I thought of WiFi for some reason and when I see the WiFi logo I felt paranoid and hateful towards it which is weird….though I’m fully aware phone radiation is shit so i try leave it off when I can…

    I tried to do the last paragraph but I literally could not fucking read any of it…I got through the first sentence and then my vision just would not focus and it was distorted. Also while doing this focus my entire phone screen went black for a couple seconds …very very random and first time it’s done this ever as this is a relatively new phone.

    Anyway I shall try redo the last paragraph or maybe the whole thing another time. Also the entire focus was hard to do in general due to mental distractions…somehow always knows and chooses what will most occupy me…which currently is medical science genetics nanotechnology e.c.t. and try pull me off track takes me a minute to realize I’ve been sucked in….

    • Clive
      March 15, 2016 @ 10:03 am

      Good effort there Mirei . . .

26. Rose
    March 15, 2016 @ 8:13 am

    The last days I have ‘sensed the presence of’ some ‘transparent’ and almost ‘non-detectable other people’ being sound me as I move through the day and do different things, as if I was ‘interacting with them’. It doesn’t feel like ‘spirits’ in the ‘normal'(?) sense (sorry for all the inverted commas and question marks!) – it feels very much ‘like in a VR’, as if I can feel and sense and kind of ‘see’ the outline and feel of them, as if I was in a VR setting a lot of the time.

    While doing this focus I see and feel a lot of these transparent ‘people outlines’ streaming in and out of my neck, and I get feelings of ‘co-interfacing’ into VR environments and all being in a ‘shared consciousness space’, where I experience myself as ‘being’ several other people, who are people I either know or know about, and some are people I have no direct connections to (they aren’t splits).

    As I move through the focus I also see and at times re-experience some of the many times I have felt that ‘others’ have entered and accessed me, in various forms and ways. Which has usually been extremely unpleasant and scary.

    I can see now that some of the origins of this was ‘OK’, but then it also looks as if the things and people and situations that were OK turn into not being OK at all or become very extreme.

    Around some particular people who I used to feel energetically ‘attacked’ by for many years, and who I have also had horrifying experiences of being ‘possessed’ by, I have suddenly experienced them over the last few days, and while doing this focus several times, to have started out as great people and my friends and people I worked with trying to find out what was going on and to find solutions to problems and issues and the like. And then experienced how they turned into not being so friendly any more and having ‘second agendas’ and begin to ‘invade’ me and ‘steal’ things from me and to then turn into ‘enemies’ and very antagonistic.

    And it feels like the ‘progression of the management’ between me and them. And it has been really surprising to experience them and us together ‘before’ things turned so bad, because the ‘bad’ is all I have known and also, especially for one of them, an infamous and quite extreme self proclaimed ‘Satanist’ and ‘dark sex magic’ person, who I have suddenly experienced to not be like that at all to begin with, but a great guy. And similar with another who was a spiritual teacher and leaders, and also practising ‘magic’ and who used women sexually and in other ways.

    My computer suddenly shut down by itself as I was writing the last sentence, and then I spent several minutes as it was ‘updating’ and kept restarting the percentage of finished updates on the screen several times (I have never experienced that happening before), so it took forever. While getting submerged in really nasty management shit energies, which feel very much like the base of the old ‘attacks’, only minus the attack part.

    Yesterday, while being in this stuff I kept seeing and feeling ‘demons’ and other ‘dark beings’, but it was obviously VR presentations and I felt that I had been bombarded with things like that in VR set ups and situations. And because I have been ‘attacked’ far more by the so-called ‘light and ‘white’ people and paths, that I have by ‘demons’, I have rarely been scared of ‘demon’ stuff, and I could feel I hadn’t been either while presented with that, it felt more as pretty distracting.

    Haha, as I typed the last paragraph I got impressions of ‘sulphur stench’ and other things that would enhance the expereince of ‘demon presence’ as ‘convincing.

    I wonder if I was just exposed to this stuff to frighten me or if I also tested things like that in VR.

    • M.J.
      March 21, 2016 @ 6:00 pm

      ‘Rose’ – Clive and Samuel told me that we share a soul. It’s interesting that you mention the shapes of people and being attacked because I experience that. When I read that it reminded me of Satanic ritual abuse. Then I saw that you wrote about Satanist and Sex Magic.

      I met this guy that claimed to be in their seventh year of going to school to be a psychologist. Then he later admitted he studied Satanism and other stuff like that. I was going to work with him but after hearing about stuff like that I decided against it. It just went against what felt right to me. I started having all the experiences that you mention after meeting him. I never physically met him but I felt he was manipulating me psychically with my subconscious mind. I feel like my soul pieces have been stolen and felt him taking them to another female. I was watching a video on the illuminati and that they are satanists. They do mind control and satanic ritual abuse. I think I dodged a bullet. He believed that some people are superior to others and that goes again my beliefs about all humans being equal and deserve to receive equal treatment, rights and pay.

      • Rose
        March 29, 2016 @ 11:02 am

        Hi Melissa,

        I can see that Clive wrote a good explanation of what a ‘soul split’ is (as opposed to ‘sharing the same soul’) in a comment to you – and explained that you and I are splits.

        Maybe your experiences with that man was also VR things, like I found out now, that mine were?

        The guy with the ‘Satanic’ and sex magic stuff from my VR experience, is one of those people who either became ‘demonized’ by those who had the power or chose to ‘leave’ when they realised that all the things the ‘light’ and ‘holy’ authorities were saying and doing were lies, manipulations, deceit and worse, and some of them then, as a reaction to that, then chose to do all the ‘wrong’ or ‘judged to be bad’ things instead.

        Just think of the Christian Inquisition and their bestial torture methods – things like that both seriously demonized a lot of innocent or good people (and lots of powerful and therefore unwanted women) and also made certain people see through all the fake ‘love’ and ‘forgiveness’ church hypocrisy, and then for example choose become ‘Satanists’ (the worst of the worst according to that church) or ‘demons’ instead.

        This is very well described on this page and the next one:

        Have ‘YOU’ been gifted with a Fake Spiritual Mission that is Literally KILLING You?
        https://soul-healer.com/false-spiritual-mission-betrayals-spiritual-conspiracy/

        Dire Negative Effects of Spiritual Mission Betrayals
        https://soul-healer.com/demon-missions-dark-forces-agendas-spiritual-cover-ups/

        All the ‘soul purpose’ and ‘mission’ pages are good for understanding how many people were ‘made’ for fulfilling certain ‘purposes’ or later set up in various ‘missions’, which no doubt everybody writing comments on these pages were. Including you and me, who were ‘made’ for this huge research project, Clive mentions, and which I have written comments about here also (and for other things too).

        The type of conspiracy theorists who are convinced that things like ‘Illuminati’ or the Freemasons are behind everything bad and evil, also usually accuse lot of people they don’t like for being things like ‘Satanists’, ‘Nazis’ or ‘evil, bloodthirsty (and/or) paedophile reptilians’ (which gets obvious if you look at enough of their writings), which is (very much) not the same as the occultist type ‘dark’ish’ self proclaimed ‘Satanists’, I mention. And their material in general is a diversion from what is actually going on and who and what is really behind all the shit, set up to scare and mislead people and keep them from searching for the real causes behind all the shit. And those ‘conspiracy theory’ people are themselves people who were deliberately set up in missions to spread misleading information (or drowning or camouflaging real info in far out stuff that will put off others from taking them seriously) and are also being kept occupied and diverted themselves, probably because they were considered to be ‘threats’, knowing or finding out too much, and therefore set up in those ‘missions’.

27. Rose
    March 15, 2016 @ 9:12 am

    As part of a lot of things seeming to begin to open more (and also connect a lot) and doing this focus quite a few times yesterday, I experienced a sequence of ‘Vrs within VRs’ unfolding as I was moved rapidly though several layers as if ‘gates’ kept opening for the next ‘level’. While having lots of feelings of various kinds of ‘initiations’ (some ‘dark’, some ‘light/spiritual’) which were ‘requirement for access to the next level’.

    There was a kaleidoscopic movement through lots of Hinduism and Buddhist type iconography, like mandalas, yantras, and things like ‘Tibetan demonology’ (they have lots of that), all of which felt like it was the ‘keys’ or ‘symbolic triggers’ to opening the next ‘gates’ or ‘passage ways’ or something like that.

    It had the character of something like a huge ‘computer game’, with lots of trials and challenges and things you had to do in order to get the next level and the next ‘initiation’.

    A lot of all this was focused around ‘sexuality as a way to achieve higher/deeper states or levels’, and I was around a lot of the dark Tibetan sex and tantra initiation stuff, I wrote about in an earlier comment again, but also the more ‘Satanist’ sex magic things I mentioned in the previous comment, which also had ‘initiations’, like Aliester Crowley’s Golden Dawn Order for example.

    I also stumbled over the etymology of ‘tantra’: “loom, warp”; hence “principle, system, doctrine”, from the two root words tanoti “stretch, extend, expand”, and trayati “liberation”. And the Tibetan word for tantra, “gyud” meaning “woollen thread”.

    Which I found interesting, given that I processed lots around ‘weaving’ and ‘spinning’ and original ‘subtle fibre’ stuff some years ago.

    I had feelings of having of lots more happening just below my conscious level, and me consciously just getting impressions of some of the ‘headlines’ and overall themes, while tons of material was being processed very fast.

    • M. J.
      March 22, 2016 @ 10:55 pm

      Rose,

      I took a program call Eight Gates of Dreaming Awake: The secrets of the whispering dragon. I never actually finished the program because I felt blocked from doing it. I have felt like that my whole life being blocked or held back from things working for me. I end up feeling blocked from finding anything out that has to do with other realities. If we share souls I wonder if you got connected to it.

      • Rose
        March 29, 2016 @ 10:30 am

        Hi Melissa,

        The Eight Gates of Dreaming Awake sounds like a VR training program – do you feel it relates to VR now? (when doing this focus for example):

        “The Eight Gates of Dreaming Awake is a meditation technique utilized by warriors to access and cultivate the coveted state of ‘inner silence’ while the practitioner remains fully alert. This method has been hidden for centuries and is now being revealed by Lujan Matus.”
        http://www.parallelperception.com/shamanic-practices/eight-gates-of-dreaming-awake.html

        It reminded me of this Tibetan ‘Dream Yoga’ I stumbled over last week, and which sounds very much like a VR training program (and also made me wonder if a lot of ‘yoga/yogi experiences in general are actually taking place in VRs – including ‘enlightenment’, samadhi, moksha, emptiness, ‘Buddhahood’ and whatever else it is called – and also the classic ‘spend 40 years meditating alone in the grotto and achieve… any of this):

        “Dream Yoga or Milam — the Yoga of the Dream State — is a suite of advanced tantric sadhana …. Dream Yoga are tantric processes and techniques within the trance Bardos of Dream and Sleep…. and are advanced practices similar to Yoga Nidra.

        ……The author describes six stages of dream yoga. In the first stage, the dreamer is told to become lucid in the dream. In the second stage, the dreamer is instructed to overcome all fear of the contents of the dream so there is the realization that nothing in the dream can cause harm. For instance, the lucid dreamer should put out fire with his hands and realize fire cannot burn him in the dream. Next the dreamer should contemplate how all phenomena both in the dream and in waking life are similar because they change, and that life is illusory in both states because of this constant change.

        Once lucidity has been established the applications are limitless. One can then dream with lucidity and do all sorts of things, such as: practice sadhana; receive initiations, empowerments and transmissions; go to different places, planes and lokas, communicate with yidam; dialogue with sentient beings, creatures and people such as guru; fly; shapeshift, etc. It is also possible to do different yogic practices while dreaming (usually such yogic practices one does in waking state though the product and fruit of sadhana is greatly accelerated due to the learning, play and practice context).
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_yoga

        This Tibetan ‘Tulpa’ concept also sounds pretty VRish (and also possibly avatar hijack like):

        Tulpa (Tibetan:… “to build” or “to construct”) also translated as “magical emanation”, “conjured thing” and “phantom” is a concept in mysticism of a being or object which is created through sheer spiritual or mental discipline alone. It is defined in Indian Buddhist texts as any unreal, illusory or mind created apparition.

        David-Néel also wrote of the tulpa’s ability to develop a mind of its own: “Once the tulpa is endowed with enough vitality to be capable of playing the part of a real being, it tends to free itself from its maker’s control. This, say Tibetan occultists, happens nearly mechanically, just as the child, when his body is completed and able to live apart, leaves its mother’s womb.”

        Commentarial texts…..state that this mind-made body is how Gautama Buddha and arhats are able to travel into heavenly realms using the continuum of the mindstream (bodhi) and it is also used to explain the multiplication miracle of the Buddha…..in which the Buddha multiplied his emanation body (“nirmita”) into countless other bodies which filled the sky. A Buddha or other realized being is able to project many such “nirmitas” simultaneously in an infinite variety of forms, in different realms simultaneously.

        In recent years, a subculture has formed online who create hallucinations or imaginary friends which they call tulpas and believe to be sentient. Most such people do not believe that there is anything supernatural about tulpas. A number of web sites explain the methods people use to create tulpas of this sort. Chidambaram Ramesh, an Indian author and researcher, has mentioned in his book “Thought Forms and Hallucinations” that the creation of thought forms and other mental entities like Tulpa etc., is the result of holographic mind processing.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulpa

28. M. J.
    March 22, 2016 @ 10:43 pm

    I did this one yesterday and then twice today. The first time I did it there was all these connections with other avatars and of spirit/entities. Laying in bed afterwards some energy and voices was coming through.

    Then when I went to the grocery store later I was sampling a rose fragrance and then after I sprayed it it felt like something was sniffing through me. Then what seemed like someone I used to be friends with energy seemed to come through my body and seem to tell another version of me that was with them to come through and smell it. She then smelled it and then they blocked my ability to smell it. I believe they have told my subconscious mind that I am not allowed to smell perfumes or fragrances.

    I was looking at strawberries and I could smell them through the box for the first time in a long time. There were voices saying “Don’t let her smell them.” Then another voice said “You have to let her smell them.

    On the way home there seemed to be people connecting to me. This one actually seemed nice and loving, which is not normal. Most of them are really mean and attacking and want to block me from healing and feeling love inside me. I kept on going in and out of sleep.

    Then when I got home I was really tired. I kept on waking up, I felt very afraid. Like things and people were with me and around me and my heart was beating extremely fast. My heartbeat was like around 120 when I was sleeping. I was having a anxiety attack. I think I remember that they were talking about sending me to hell. The voices seem to expect everyone to be perfect and make no mistakes…. EVER. Very scrupulous, and some of their rules don’t make sense or apply to where I live. The push begative feeling and guilt and I feel fearful and guilt a lot.

    For the past twelve years I have been harassed about making amends for mistakes that happened when I was a teen or early twenties. I’ve done a lot but you can’t track everyone down and so basically they are telling me that I have to live in pain the rest of my life until the next life and I will live in pain there and they will get me to make amends for them and then they will accept me into their reality. They won’t let me go from them, I’m not allowed to heal or connect with others. Everything seems extremely controlled. They don’t want me to heal or feel better or happy. The enter my dreams and do things with me there. They don’t seem to have or respect the boundaries of others.

    If they want to do something to you or with you then they do it. I think they believe they are my god.I’ve given up for the time being because it’s really stressful to fight them. They feel like leaches sucking blood for any new ideas or anything they can learn from me. My solar plexus is blocked from feeling love or peace. I feel dead and tired within and outside.

    I went back to sleep. Then a little late I woke up because I couldn’t breath and I had to force breathing to come back back.

    I’ve been tired and just laying around the house resting. Don’t feel like I have the energy for anything else.

    I also experience the feelings that Rose experiences where people are doing things through her and feeling people around her. It happens mostly in stores for me anymore.

29. Iris
    April 14, 2016 @ 4:02 am

    [Note: The initial disgust and revulsion I once felt over my notes has passed, but I remain uncertain over the appropriateness of this this comment. I decided to post it in case the put-offs come from the sim software.]

    Before doing this avatar hijack focus, I did the passive focus and saw that the centre of my energy body has a rod, while my subtle head has an antenna that appeared to pick up environmental crap or other negativity.

    1 — “merge with anyone else”: I thought of avatar sex, but I couldn’t see anything. (I think my vision was being censored.) I felt worry and bits of fear as I remembered past interactions with my first online partner on Skype. We had similar visions where our respective animal avatars engaged in energetic sex. Meanwhile, our physical bodies would react accordingly. In my case, my body would heat up. I’d feel warm and fuzzy and “extremely happy” in an addictive way (likely fake bliss).

    The main difference between our visions was that his was unedited while mine was compromised. His vision would feature fully grown adult avatars (with genitals, I think), while mine would be restricted to child / young versions of the same avatars that look more as if they were playing and frolicking rather than actually having sex.

    “VR environment” — I think our shared vision represented the VR space where we had the energetic sex. I remembered another scene (VR space) of a similar nature with another online partner, where our cat avatars played hide-and-seek in a room of drawers and had sex with each other.

    3 — I felt fear, followed by a fleeting desire to masturbate.

    “Invading entity” — I am not sure if this one is responsible for my sexual compulsions (here, I think sim software would be the culprit). I remembered past visions of some scary spirit or man wanting to have sex with me while I was masturbating compulsively.

    “Demonic entity” — I received an image of a demon lusting after me, but the image, as well as the demon’s dark aura, felt fake to me. Right after that realisation, I stopped receiving the image in a matter of seconds.

    “VR environment” — I had felt for some time that the VR aversion reprogramming therapy against sex was part of the C directive to make me stay away from sex. I once came across handwritten notes based on lectures against premarital sex from Protestant pastors. And I felt this was one of the early instances of programming from my adolescence.

    4 — I saw myself as a spider having sex with a naked male avatar. I did not seem to care if the guy was scared or sexually excited or both. I had difficulty identifying myself with that spider.

    This reminded me of the porn video my first partner sent to me. It had a loose story where a woman dressed as a spider chased a man, caught him, stripped him naked, and had sex with him before wrapping him with silk threads.

    5 — I was in a lab. Many naked human avatars were strapped on metal beds. Their eyes were covered with VR visors. A female scientists walked between the aisles, inspecting each avatar to check for research inconsistencies.

    “VR research / investigation environment” — I began to feel that I was involved in this research as one of the scientists investigating torture methods. I think I willingly underwent the sex torture / VR reprogramming myself.

    “Entered or examined any others; avatar” — My avatar had sex with the other naked avatars whether they liked it or not. I felt I was using the excuse of “checking for research ‘integrity’ or ‘accuracy’” to satisfy my sexual desires.

    I remembered a phase when my online partner and I engaged in sexual role play. One time he encouraged me to touch myself to see if he’d feel the physical sensations I feel while doing it. Looking back, it felt like we were both experimenting with VR sex as “curious researchers,” although I still think we both did this because of (simulation- and drone-induced?) lack of control over ourselves.

30. Megan
    May 27, 2016 @ 9:01 pm

    00 – I get the impression of an Egyptian collar (like this, https://www.etsy.com/listing/257547437/huge-ancient-egyptian-beaded-cleopatra?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_us_c-jewelry-necklaces-beaded_necklaces&utm_custom1=dbea4fe0-ac9c-42f6-9614-426a65ca5fbd&gclid=CJ7w7s-C-8wCFQwxaQod4VUKbw) settled on my chest with a high turtleneck going up to my chin.

    01 – Nothing

    02 – First read through I get the image of two people having sex. Second read through I get random glimpses of cutscenes from Final Fantasy X. I had my eyes closed at this point trying to feel into things, but when I opened my eyes I saw a dark grey rectangle moving briefly from right to left before disappearing in my kitchen area about 6-9 feet away from where I sleep (I live in an efficiency apartment) ‘floating’ about four-five feet off the ground.

    03 – I feel something tight in my gut, like a plug or barrier.

    03B – I remember moments when I was a teenager or younger where I got turned on by things that, looking back it all now, were not romantic or appealing in the least. (I also matured a lot faster than my peers. I was wearing bras by first grade (unless that’s normal for kids, I really don’t know.))

    04 – Nothing

    05 – I remember some of the comments I have read here on the site, and the thought/impression came to mind that a lot people were brainwashed or convinced (or ignorant or too innocent to begin with) to do things they wouldn’t normally do or they were do things without realizing that what they were doing was hurting others.

    • Clive
      May 30, 2016 @ 12:40 pm

      Hi Megan, some Egyptians were king cobras, i.e. they were ‘snakes’ rather than what they’ve been converted to here as the one size fit’s all human form.

      Now, that ‘collar’ picture reminds me of the scales of a snake, in which case it’s very possible that you are simulating a subtle persona that interfaced to a snake!!! Have a look at the top right picture of Tutankhamun on this page here the ‘death mask’ then look at this picture here the second picture down shows a bust of ‘T’ with a snake coming out of the forehead.

      So, haha – do you ‘hiss’ at people and or have an affinity with belly dancing (which I suspect represents undulating ‘snake’ dancing!!!) or have any other ‘snake’ characteristics?

      • Megan
        May 31, 2016 @ 1:20 am

        I remember seeing Tutankhamun’s mask on the cover of a National Geographic Magazine and being absolutely fascinated by it when I was a child. To be honest, the cobra statue looks more cute and friendly, like it’s saying ‘hello!’ rather than being threatening.

        I’m not Egyptian, but it’s interesting you bring it up. There’s a anime that I was fascinated with growing up (still kind of am to be honest, even though I don’t watch it) called, Yu-Gi-Oh! The main character, or alter-ego of the main character Yami Yugi (http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Yami_Yugi), is actually the spirit of an Egyptian Pharaoh named Atem (http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Pharaoh_Atem). I never understood why but he kind of ‘drew’ me into the show. I even remember a time in my 7th grade Literature class of ‘seeing’ him in my mind’s eye sitting next to me in class.

        I have been known to hiss and stick my tongue out at others from time to time, usually playfully or teasingly. If and when I do get angry (which I am very good at holding back at times) I usually feel it in a biting way, like I want to lash out. I bought a couple belly dancing DVDs at one point, but never quite got the hang of it. I also like being warm, especially during the winter. I remember, when working at a radio station back in high school, I got the room I was working in over 90 degrees F just using a couple of space heaters (the room was small to be honest.)

        • Clive
          June 3, 2016 @ 11:45 am

          Just ‘coincidences’ then Megan – hahaha!!!

31. Nyssa
    June 1, 2016 @ 9:57 pm

    I expanded the “virtual reality” phrase by adding the phrase “manipulated reality” after the phrase “VR”. The result seems to reference the multiverse, outside the multiverse, and other aspects of matrix /manipulated reality. The “context” of the impressions shifts here and there, so I’ve attempted to keep the contexts clear but there are still nuances of context I can feel I’m missing so left certain parts strictly ‘as I experienced them’ to avoid masking things that may later become clear. I’ve done the exercise 4-5 times this way, and below is a compilation of experiences.

    Because of the addition of the ‘manipulated reality’ phrase, while I had a couple experiences that felt related to VR, I am omitting all VR references and only including MV-related impressions.

    I don’t know if this type of post holds value to you, Clive, but I’ll post it and let you decide.

    —

    Sections 1-4 – Experiences in this section feel related to ‘being’ various parts of the multiverse itself (planet, solar system, universe, etc, then I experience exiting the ‘box’ of the universe, and then upon re-entry into the universe box, I can sense infinite timelines and possibilities – it’s a multiverse).

    I was then prepared to ‘be’ a Core myself by a team of highly skilled expert beings. I am comprised of a special compound (subtle organic compound), filled with highly sophisticated components; I am specially designed and prepared for this. I then am booted up as the central Core to run everything. I become a ‘space’ that others can enter at will. I have a “avatar form” of some type that I can use to walk amongst the people who inhabit me so I can observe them.

    As this Core, I feel trapped/can’t move AT ALL – I am permanently and absolutely contained.

    Something is horribly wrong “inside me”. I feel invaded by an octopus** – its tentacles invading me and taking me over, performing evil actions on the beings that live inside me, actions that I can’t prevent. I try to fight back and observe its actions. I’m horribly traumatized by it as it keeps invading and taking me over more and more, like an infection.

    **I first describe an Octopus in an earlier comment A giant octopus on top of a planet, its tentacles wrapping around the planet, splitting into smaller and smaller tendrils to invade and control everything, putting people into place – “people as data” – fake people – to facilitate interactions that shouldn’t happen or aren’t “right”. The planet itself feels like it has its own consciousness and awareness and data tracking re interactions – and so the octopus feels like it’s not supposed to be here – an invader.”

    merged with, melded with, invaded or occupied by absolutely ANY being … etc The experience shifts back to feeling like I’m the Core again; I can feel beings of all densities attacking or trying to merge into me/invade me: organic, heavier than organic, lighter than organic, but I can avert them or fight them off. I don’t know how the octopus was able to get in because I can keep everything else out with my strong defenses.

    I can feel the invasion/infection of the ‘octopus’ everywhere throughout my “body” – it’s constant and persistent.
    ————

    The experience changes to a ‘smaller’ point of view for these sections:

    04 (‘you’ instigating merging with others..)
    I feel I mostly stayed in the subtle form and float and watch over the madness of the organic world. I occasionally enter an organic form to see what’s going on, trying to make sense of it, but it’s quick and fast, like peeking inside. There are dangers inside the organic forms – dark entities who have taken up residence, or the risk of being trapped myself.

    while they were occupying any specific VR environment, space, or community – I add in the word “collective” to this list, and can feel controlling components that kept people aligned to the collective’s objectives when I explore ‘collectives’. I sense that I explored these “collective controlling components”, and that some of these controlling components were much more malicious and dangerous than others. Some components feel “viral” in nature/behavior as in: They were so sticky and ‘abducting’ that I have to keep my distance from those collectives (for example, religions like Baptist or Seventh Day Adventist who ‘harvest souls’, Borg who assimilate everything, or certain types of dark ‘gangs’ etc), else I risk being inadvertently ‘abducted’ into the collective myself. Other collectives feel benign at first, like an agreement to collaborate to buffer each other’s trauma, but there are problems with this – people don’t learn to deal with their own trauma, and become more and more interdependent on each other, and increasingly oblivious as to how their actions affect others (ie, like how the healthcare system or city infrastructures ‘here’ have to carry the burdens of people’s clueless mismanagement of their lives and unawareness of how their actions impact others or the environment, and also subsequently increase people’s reliance on the ‘systems’ of modern life, like food, sewer, transportation, energy, etc, making people unable to function independently).

    After any avatar, I add the phrase, “organic form”, and recall entering an organic form to have a conversation with an entity that has taken up residence inside the organic form’s sacral region / belly. I have a long conversation with the entity and it finally agrees to leave. It feels like it’s what could be termed a ‘dark entity’ but it’s really just traumatized and scared to leave but now braver and emboldened. We both exit and I give it an “energetic hug” of some sort – like a gesture of support and encouragement. I then move to the organic being – it seems to be a jaguar or other large cat. I seem to have a very affectionate relationship with this jaguar – I communicate with it and help it recover from this experience, and see myself holding its head in an embrace of some sort.

    05 (Researching bodies and avatars)
    I’m a researcher myself. I am entering organic animal forms to check their integrity, to see how accurate they are, how well made, quality check.

    Another memory is of being in some type of ‘animal hospital’ for the purpose of healing organic animal forms. It feels like a caring atmosphere like how zoos are often depicted in children’s books as caring, safe environments for sentient, wise, intelligent beings.

    I feel I spent a lot of time merging into organic forms as a healer – as a subtle being, I could sense intricate nuances of their injuries and illnesses and could heal on a very fine level, and can faintly recall ‘weaving’ and re-aligning cellular structures at the smallest level. Yet, I began to sense changes or illnesses happening that didn’t make sense – something was happening on an even finer level than even the subtle strata to cause debilitations. (note: This memory reminds me of a recent study ‘here‘ where scientists are discovering that in normal healthy cell mitosis, the proper alignment of chromosomes happens via quantum coherence and quantum entanglement, and thus are theorizing that cancer is caused by an impairment at the quantum level that subsequently creates an abnormal distribution of chromosomes, resulting in uncontrolled growth, i.e., cancer. The ‘anomolous observation’ I am writing about in this paragraph feels like I began to question what was causing distortion and disruption at the ‘quantum’ level or beyond.)

    Another memory is the opposite of the gentle “animal hospital” above – it’s a memory of investigating a horrific research place, where terrible experiments are done on organic animal forms. I feel like I infiltrated the place somehow, and then carefully observed the goings on throughout the facility. It’s ‘mad scientist’ type of research – subtle beings are being experimented on, also .. mm feels like the researchers may be trying to figure out how to get subtle beings to interface permanently to organic beings ..?

    It feels hard to get out of the building – the building has some type of interfacing protection that monitors/prevents subtle beings from entering/exiting it seems.

    mm it feels like there’s a subtle being who is interfaced to the whole research facility, with special interfacing, to monitor and protect the research from exterior viewing. It seems like this subtle being interfaced to the building ‘is’ me – a split or copy somehow perhaps, and somehow despite all its programming, it allows me in. Feels vaguely like I’ve been able to study this special interfacing “from afar” – like I could sense the technology somehow? – and used this knowledge to design countermeasures before infiltrating the facility, and thus I’m somehow cloaked or deemed benign by this being/version of me, and can slowly pass through the interfacing to exit unimpeded.

    —

    Reading back through this comment, I spent time trying to figure out how I could have all these experiences, especially since some of them feel mutually exclusive. The answer I ‘got’ was these experiences are all experienced by ‘parts’ of me, and I could somehow sense ‘ALL’ of me and the parts of myself and their experiences.

    • Clive
      June 3, 2016 @ 12:55 pm

      Hi Nyssa, (‘EVERYONE’ READ) . . . haha . . . this is ‘easy’ the EAAS project is trying to simulate ‘everything’ the entire MV, and they have to make sure / test that everything works correctly. To do that they need a ‘core / central’ AI keeping track able to engage with and ‘check’ absolutely ‘everything’ in terms of all scales of all software routines for ‘EVERYTHING’.

      They will also need something ‘exactly’ like this for the end product core ‘orchestrating / command nexus’ within the actual final simulation software ‘running’ version too. As this is a) the most complex software nexus and b) it’s the most important aspect of the EAAS project and also c) it’s likely going to go through many, many design / refining changes then it will be the most exhaustively tested ‘thing’ of the EAAS project.

      What you describe (you engaging with an AI version of yourself running the core software) has also been described by two others, in fact we recently (about a week ago) hacked the ‘God’ of the sim EAAS software i.e. this core ‘orchestrating / command nexus’ and it was actually run by an AI version of ‘Tom’ – haha. Wendy whom also left comments here a year or so back also described the same ‘being EVERYTHING’ EAAS project testing ‘experience’ in great detail too. So, they did have multiple people / multiple departments working on this very important ‘core’ set up.

      So, we hacked ‘this’ the final ‘command and control’ of everything ‘nexus’ of routines a week ago. So far nothing beyond this has activated, and so basically all of the different ‘routines’ contributing to ourselves and ‘everything’ have all been hacked and pacified.

      Basically ‘Hacking’ stopped about 3/4 days ago.

      I’d advise everyone to only do a focus / any focus JUST if you feel prompted. The ‘teams’, in no longer having anything derailing or sabotaging ‘changes’ are now fully focused on identifying all interactive combinations of all shit accumulations / traumas / life triggers / containments / through time etc, etc while working on / refining the best ways to release / change these.

      In the last week (as managing software has been watered down) I’ve been ‘refining’ evidence and reasoning of the ‘physical’ con from a more ‘complete / comprehensive’ integrated angle. If anyone wants to read the final version of this it’s up on realitywalker.com on this page here. There is also a .pdf file version to download as it’s about 23 A4 pages long. Feel free to e-mail the .pdf to anyone else you think may find this interesting!!!

      That page ties together the ‘Matrix’ Reality Model, with common basic ‘Spiritual Knowledge’ with the easily seen ‘anomalous’ reality presentations / experiences of the Matrix film trilogy ALSO with a whole collection of anomalous / paranormal / spiritual experiences that we’ve had here for a very long span in ‘historical’ terms.

32. Tommy
    June 4, 2016 @ 4:45 pm

    Clive might sound stupid when i do the excercises i get the idea notion that the person i simulated got hacked and has been used to hack others is it possible to undo that because everytime i interact with people it feels like i am made to hack them and bad stuff to others or get hacked and get more non me stuff that is messing with me i also always sense other people/ energies/ beings inside my self and its pretty difficult to distingish what is me and what isnt me and because of the drugs i took when i was younger it is really hard to make out what is real what is fake. I think dont know for sure could it be that a version of myself is still stuck somewhere else. Any suggestions would be very welkom

    • Clive
      June 8, 2016 @ 1:00 pm

      Well, Tommy . .

      “I also always sense other people/ energies/ beings inside my self and its pretty difficult to distinguish what is me and what isn’t me”

      Yep so your ‘shit’ is more complicated in terms of figuring out what IS ACTUALLY YOU and what isn’t you’ll just have to be patient. The ‘average’ age of ‘ourselves’ as subtle beings is about 15-20 million years. The average ‘smallest’ length of someone’s script is composed of a billion codes and some of these individual scripted parts are a BILLION codes long. In other words it’s quite complicated. So, imagine the most impossible ‘thing’ you can think of doing then multiple it by a billion!!! That’s what I/we are doing, that it’s ‘ONLY’ relatively speaking taken a few years / decades to get to this point is pretty much an impossible achievement in itself.

33. Megan
    July 22, 2016 @ 11:57 pm

    00-03 I cry, but don’t get much of anything.

    04 – I connect to thoughts of my mother and father and how the two of them met and I get the impression that my father was ‘planted’ into her life. I mean I don’t think he was originally a part of her script. He was put there for some reason.

34. Melissa
    September 2, 2016 @ 9:04 pm

    While doing this exercise I just experienced a entity attatchment connecting with me and manipulating other aspects of me or other entities and as I was breathing in I could smell perfume and as each breath breathed in she would tell them to not breath it back out so I couldn’t smell the fragrance or the scent. A lady at the fragrance store said her mom couldn’t smell fragrance because she had a sinus infection and right after she said that it’s like something shifted and changed in my nose. Also this entity also has been telling aspects of my mind or self to hold on to and carry pain for some other entity or being or other aspect of me. It’s as if this entity has taken over my whole body.

    Also another thing these beings seem to do is take the taste out of things or change them to how they taste. They seem to be connected to me 24/7 and feed off me and use me. Like I got a smoothie that had pineapple, coconut, lime, mango and strawberry and mint in it and all I could taste was mint with a faint sweet taste which it should be sweet with all that fruit in it. I had my friend taste the smoothie and he said it tasted like orange.

    Also they seem to program aspects of my brain or self to do things for them, and I feel powerless to stop it. My body, mind and soul feels taken over though.

    My heart and emotions feel blocked.

    It feels like I am disconnected from my child aspect of myself. Also other parts of my self. These beings have stolen them and fight to keep control.

    They seem to believe I am there to serve them and take care of them and I am below them.

    • Clive
      September 7, 2016 @ 4:07 pm

      Melissa, this is one of the first comments that from my perspective isn’t just a ‘repeat’ what you’ve already written previously. I.e. some progress is being made, also we’ve identified and dealt with two sets of seriously competent ‘shit’ blockading the ‘doll house’ people / maintaining their traumas / behaviours etc . . . so with easier access to these areas these very debilitating areas you ‘should’ start to experience some changes soon if not already . . . let me know in a weeks time of you are aware of any changes / progress?

      • Melissa
        September 12, 2016 @ 8:36 pm

        Are things doing better? Not really. I would say things have improved about 35-45 percent since I started the Automatic clearings but still a lot of issues. I have listed the most recent issues. It may seem like a lot but it’s what is happening.

        • Clive
          September 21, 2016 @ 11:22 am

          Melissa; “Are things doing better” -‘NOT REALLY’ just 35-45% improvement!!!! (Tommy read this comment to) . . .

          WOW!! Based on my previous comment replies to yourself making it very clear that your personal combo of issues are some of the most complicated to deal with compared to pretty much anyone else on this entire fake planet? Then if you’d written maybe 15% improvement I’d have been happy / impressed AT THE PROGRESS. So, a) great progress but b) but obviously issues relating to having realistic ‘perspectives’ still need addressed!!!

          BUT I did figure out that your ‘entities / attachments / body invasions’ are due to the sim software bizarrely translating the Doll House ‘imprints of other people’ as ‘entity attachments and body invasions’ this is a serious ‘piss take’ Melissa by the sim software BUT it’s also a good example of how WARPED the software is in terms of doing things in specific ways to cause people as many problems as possible.

          Tommy you’ve Doll House imprints too, your ‘entities / body invasions’ are also ‘not really’ REAL entities.

          Anyway, as we ‘know’ this now and so it is ‘possible / likely’ that these specific effects will start being addressed / will reduce hopefully sooner rather than later!!!

        • Melissa
          October 16, 2016 @ 12:21 am

          Yeah I just read this after reading Tommy’s. I haven’t watched the dollhouse yet. Couldn’t find it on YouTube. Maybe it can be found on Netflix?

          I’ve been just trying to ignore the voices but yeah they are crazy. It seems like a lot of the “selves” have been transported. Maybe that’s all just made up. The worst part is feeling controlled and their scrupulously high expectations they impose.

          I experienced a lot of trauma and I wonder how much of that is just the brain trying to process trauma and pain. I was experiencing lots of insomnia, now lots of sleep.

          I’m gonna locate dollhouse. Thanks Clive!!

35. Tommy
    September 24, 2016 @ 2:20 am

    I watched the first season of dollhouse. it was horrible im kinda dreading to learn what other sick stuff they used on us. During a couple of episodes i had flashbacks but they were removed very quickly. It was like something would let me process it to completly understand it. Begining to doubt if there even was a real me in the first place. Likely there isnt because reality is fake. It sucks big time that they even used this kind of stuff on the original subtle folk i dont even want to start thinking about what kind of other demented crap they used. It is nice to know that the voices and the hallucinations and other crap that is bugging me isnt me but it makes me angry. Why go through so much trouble to mess us up like this. I kinda understand you dont want your fake preprogrammed labrats to know they are stuck inside a simulation but this is overkill.

    • Clive
      October 13, 2016 @ 12:44 pm

      Yea, it’s horrifying Tommy . . . unfortunately for the sim / those doing this, finding out about these (and other equally horrifying things) puts me in an ‘apoplectic’ state, NO ONE DOES THIS / TO ANYONE / no one gets away with this . . . this ‘system’ is going down . . . come hell or high water . . .

36. Nyssa
    October 10, 2017 @ 6:04 pm

    The past few days I’ve felt ‘connected’ to what seemed like massive energy bodies, each interfaced to a different part of me. The energy ‘blobs’ feel thickened, viscous. No memories associated with this, no impressions from the energies, though, just a feeling that my body here is a very thin veneer on top of these energy blobs. Background feelings and sensations, like I’m ‘processing’ these energy blobs, like I’m an ‘energetic dialysis machine’ for them perhaps.

    The days have been difficult in many ways, with feelings of something, like a virus-filled AI perhaps, invading the persons whose scripts I’m living / the scripts / my life, which then bloomed larger and larger through time, mixing in with ‘me’.

    I did this focus to hope to get insight into this difficult phase.

    I felt crushing pain, grief, extreme sadness, betrayals, but didn’t feel like it was related to the experience I’ve been in these days.

    Instead, it felt like it was relating to ‘being hacked’ esp in my role as a ‘system admin’ – like I was a target because of my connection and access to the core of the system. My heart was in considerable pain, and felt sliced, beaten, betrayed, compressed with extreme trauma, feeling like ‘being hacked’ was something that someone very dear did to me, betraying me, erroneously viewing me as the enemy instead of remembering who I was, why I was there, that we were on the same team, and that I could help instead of being hacked so brutally and impersonally.

    I repeated paragraph 3 many times, sometimes getting wisps of other impressions, but mostly just released incredible amounts of formless grief. I sense massive head blocks, preventing me from deeper insights beyond this trauma.

37. Jessica Antunes
    February 26, 2018 @ 12:51 am

    This is a reply to the clive’s reply to a comment of Annabelle (for some reason I couldn’t reply directly).

    “(…) intense sexual and or trauma ‘energy’ (cutting off peoples heads / sacrificing people to generate fear and extreme trauma) was used to ‘power’ and or maintain spells (…) sexual energy was being used to generate and maintain some illusion or maybe to physically manifest ‘something’ (…)”

    So this explains why the elites here perform macabre rituals which include sex and sacrifices, and actually why they are called a bunch of black magicians…

    … because they would have spells to power and to mantain, probably to mantain their objectives (or of some other(s) or something through them) and to ensure their position of dominion (especially because probably they would have a lot of competition…)

    AND that would explain the loosh usually referred to in the spiritualist conspiracionist circles – the emotional energy referred to, often negative, which would be coveted by someone who knows why, and which would be responsible for the orchestration and deliberate maintenance of some of our deplorable systemic circumstances.

    Ex’s:
    – all that concerns the fierce struggle for survival (there was no need for this… why promote and highlight scarcity if abundance (at least the basic and sufficient) COULD be promoted in wise, sensible and reasonable ways?)
    – the media that strives to make news of all dispensable shit going on around the world (instead of focusing primarily on the good things that also (no one believes anymore …) happen in the world.

    This could be one of the reasons why the suffering in the original multiverse would have been or would be being promoted; thus the system – the people in control and the hole in which people are – would be self sustainable.

38. Megan
    June 27, 2019 @ 2:09 am

    Starting this exercise I see myself trying to fight people off and keep them out of my self and personal space. I have a hard time opening up to people (in some twisted sort of way, I feel like I’m testing them making sure they are worthy to know me) and recently there was an incident at work where I frustrated my operator again and honestly what I see and feel of myself within a formal work environment is really weird. I feel myself being very polite and stiff and formal and ‘by the book’ as they tell me (God knows I don’t want to make a mistake or upset management.) But even working with these people for so many months I am surprised at how distant, disengaged and stiff I am when dealing with people who are so laid back and surprisingly open. I’m also becoming more aware of how sensitive to other people’s emotions and how I react to them (anger and frustration is my biggest hang up. I don’t like anger at all not even from myself.) I tend to turn off my emotions when I am at work and feel compliance and passivity.

    I felt a heaviness in my heart for the rest of the exercise and focusing on the feeling after I finish I get, “I don’t want people to come in; I don’t want to let them in. I don’t want them to know. I don’t even want Clive to know.” The feeling has melted in my heart for now.

39. Melissa
    December 13, 2021 @ 5:33 am

    Just did this focus because I was having energy flowing into me and I have felt like there are things taking my medications out of my body and then feel this ball of energy between my legs and people are saying that they need to get back to those people and how they get the persons life back to them is to steal it from people over here and get it back to people over there, they call it the past life. It feels like people are inside me and things are taking things away from me. Like everything.