34 Comments

1. mo
   January 25, 2016 @ 8:14 pm

   I don’t feel a lot of suppression for this new exercise, but read the focus exercise 3 X before just in case I were to encounter problems.

   00 – Version of me, very tall slender white, sitting down with machine over head,, connecting to environment where I am a kid playing a game, looks like everyone is pale, has fish like hands and bumps on head.

   01 – Sadness of this aspect of me which connected to all these places, as not all places s/he wants to be, there is a slight level of mandate to some of them.

   02 – In a closet, there a blue suit like the movie avatar, green suit with bug head, amphibian suit, humanoid form of women that looks like a sorceress, with cloak, zip up suit – this one was unique because I would share it with others, but no one would know, like I snuck in others. I see suits like half bird, half human. Others that are part fish. One where I am partially flying but have small wings. White alien/angelic looking human writing down blueprints with others to make more VR environments.

   03 – I see an angelic like form (female) wearing whimsical layered dress and connects to feelings of lightness, positivity plays the helper in VR involvements. I see a robotic form, that I was somehow trapped into, heavy feelings of suppression. Blue form does research in environment labs, mentally focused but still with the idea of ”for the greater good”. The cloaked women goes into VR with wolfs, and other humanoid looking beings, looks like this is a meet up place for sex. Ummmm.. maybe I should leave that part out? I connect to zip up suit again, looks like we are gaining access to large buildings that connect to robot controls, once we enter, suit unzips everyone falls out, finds place/wire/coding to re route… We are trying to take down some sort of large center data base control center, this feels liberating.

   04 – I definitely feel a level of desire to make my avatars look good for whatever environment they will be used in especially the ones that are not going to be in environments were everyone is going to look the same. I see myself going through possibilities, first holographically seeing the potential avatar form and then simply thinking about them wearing different clothes would make them appear to whatever degree I would want. If I wanted to make something completely new I could go write down the new coding for it then it would be instantly applied to change whatever it was.

   I get a sense that as many forms as I had, it is still a lingering feeling like they are not all secure, there is a knowingness of potential hijack for whatever reasons that does occur to these forms.. so being able to let go of these forms when this occurs, is daunting but doable.

   • Clive
     January 26, 2016 @ 9:54 am

     Hi Mo, this is a very good ‘avatar’ investigation effort . . .

     I put in the different potential avatar body ‘forms’ list without really thinking about it. So, it’s ‘very’ interesting that you have quite a few none human ‘animal’ avatars.

     The ‘physical con’ would mean that ourselves as subtle beings would be interfaced to many different animal forms in the original ‘physical’ environment. In which case, it would be normal to have a lot of different ‘intelligent’ animal species interacting with each other on a day to day basis. Which would mean that ‘thinking of people’ as being many ‘different animals’ would be a normal part of their society AND as such, if they had VR networks then that population would not think twice about having and REGULARLY using for normal interactions many different animal forms as avatars in a VR environment. I am sure for example, that this wouldn’t happen here. Yes you’d have some people using animal avatars here BUT this would be for them to interact with specific within VR communities, you’d not have people as many different avatars meeting up in a virtual ‘bar’ or ‘night club’ for example.

     And this:

     “humanoid form of a women that looks like a sorceress, with cloak, zip up suit – this one was unique because I would share it with others, but no one would know, like I snuck in others.”

     So, the above implies that it was possible to ‘SHARE’ the same avatar, and even perhaps have many people using the same avatar? This is what you mean isn’t it Mo? I am sure that this would be possible. However, the implications of being able to interface to someone else’s avatar are very interesting in terms of the full scale of what I present in this site.

     For example, I have mentioned at the bottom of an earlier page here that being interfaced to a software defined avatar in a software defined VR you could have ‘malware’ attacks which under certain conditions could have you feeling as if you had an entity attachment or that you were even ‘possessed’ by a ‘spirit’ here (when this is not what is actually happening).

     However, if the original VR body suit interfacing was actually designed with the option to allow more than one person to interface to the same suit then you have the very worrying possibility of having someone way more ‘easily’ hacking your avatar rendering software and gaining access to and taking over your avatar.

     In other words with this dual or multi driver avatar possibility this increases the likely hood of what many would describe as ‘entity’ attachments or ‘energetic’ invasions here actually ‘REALLY’ being (in many cases) due to someone ‘hacking’ your VR avatar interfacing system which would allow them to directly take of and invade / possess and harass your avatar / yourself. This ‘duel’ avatar driver possibility makes this explanation for many ‘alleged’ entity attachments way, way more likely.

     MMMmm, for my next VR exercise I might write one to target entity attachments, possession and invasive energy feelings just to see what people get!!!!

2. Nina
   January 26, 2016 @ 6:51 am

   Second attempt

   02 — I connected to a walk-in cabinet filled with body suits of different animals. In particular, the words “base collection of avatars” connected me to animals such as rabbit, cat, elephant, dog, fish, and duck. For “Avatar Selection application,” a screen appeared in my internal vision, describing each animal suit in detail.

   “Avatar that I regularly or commonly choose” — I got an image of an upright walking white rabbit.

   03 — I tuned into the rabbit avatar. It felt either gender neutral or somewhat masculine, wearing a small ribbon or bow tie on its neck. My original form chose the rabbit to appear friendly, approachable, and non-threatening. It felt like a good avatar to represent curiosity and the tendency to hop around. Also, the avatar may have been used to to conceal my original form’s true nature or wilder / more violent side.

   04 — I kept getting nothing or mind blank. I felt as if I were not that interested in customising avatars.

   ————–
   This focus is hard. I know I have several more avatars that were used for different purposes, but I have difficulty accessing them.

   • Clive
     January 26, 2016 @ 6:16 pm

     Hi Nina / ‘Everyone’ . . . MMMmm why would some avatars be kept hidden / why would some not be accessible?

     I’ve added in a new section 02B to the focus, because as bizzaro as it sounds I think you have some ‘covert / spying / invisible’ avatars – sounds reasonable to me . . . haha

     02B . . . I also fully and absolutely connect NOW to absolutely each single avatar that I ever, EVER used that allowed myself to browse the VR net or specific VR environments and or spaces covertly, without being detected . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to each and every avatar that ever allowed myself to see and hear others while I myself could remain unseen and unsensed . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to each and every avatar that ever allowed myself to be invisible or undetectable to absolutely any others within any VR net or VR environment, room or space . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to each and every avatar that ever allowed myself to spy on and or to monitor, hack or infiltrate others avatars . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to each and every time I did this and to the experiences that I myself had while doing this . . . I fully and absolutely connect NOW to each and every experience where I spied on, monitored, recorded, hacked and or infiltrated absolutely any others . . .

     So, Nina / and all ‘spying / undercover / covert’ site readers try the focus again and see what you get – haha!!!

3. Tommy
   January 26, 2016 @ 4:57 pm

   MMMmm, for my next VR exercise I might write one to target entity attachments, possession and invasive energy feelings just to see what people get!!!! please clive hurry up with that one i have the feeling im simulating somebody who is hacked and its anoying as f*ck Im trying almost to everything out to fix this mess of sharing my body its frustrating

   • Clive
     January 26, 2016 @ 6:24 pm

     It’ll likely be up in a couple of days Tommy

4. Annabelle
   January 26, 2016 @ 10:05 pm

   Tremendous resistance to doing this focus. I froze when I saw the title of the article and could not even read the page. Incredible feeling of dread, disgust, and not wanting to participate or being revealed. Something broke loose today and I was able to continue.

   00 – I did not want to go into VR environments and engage with other avatars on a social basis. I had my work and wanted to remain invisible and not allow others to see me. My work was to gather data and no recreation was allowed. I had an avatar suit that did not allow anyone else to see me. It looked like an ivory sparkly leotard, head to toe and covered my whole body. I feel I designed part of this suit with a bit of top secret help from someone that gave me fabric and some electronic components. The suit would change based on the environment I “needed” to enter. I could also be in numerous environments at the same time.

   01 – As I entered the VR environment in this leotard suit, and my appearance would change to match what would be accepted in the environment. This seemed to require some significant intent for me to change and stay in my appearance.

   02B – I had an infinite amount of avatar possibilities that could be created to “gain the trust “and be accepted appearance wise from the other participants in the VR environment. This felt like it had bad vibes. . My appearances – if I chose to be seen – involved a lot of angels, goddesses, magicians, or beautiful sirens. There were a few other project workers that had this ability to remain invisible as well. These suits were all the same and I had boxes of them. They seemed to be coveted by others and I had some security issues keeping them safe. I also had a tablet of some type I could carry with my suit to re-program the VR environment a bit as needed to provoke reactions in other peoples’ avatars. I was able to inject feelings that would cause them to see me differently.

   03 – “avatar tag “I was also able to make other avatars forget their VR visiting experience as needed. Upon leaving any VR environment I could delete my “browsing history” to stay anonymous. This would frustrate the other avatars and appear as a “malfunction”. This was all done for the good of the project and validating the VR environment. There was no emotion or enjoyment allowed. This work was draining and I was upset I could not have fun.

   04 – I am a huge Pirate with an 8-10 foot long sword. When I met another avatar I chop them in ½ either lengthwise or cross wise. I then hijack ½ of the body and I am now able to get into their experience and collect data. Their other ½ of the original avatar regenerates with the software I have in my tablet. The ½ avatar body I hijacked is discarded when I leave the VR environment. I am looking at what just happened here and above me a huge pyramid full of a hierarchy tree of many project managers is watching me very closely.

   • Clive
     January 27, 2016 @ 11:38 am

     Hi Annabelle . .

     “Tremendous resistance to doing this focus”

     It seems as if people doing this specific exercise fall into two categories depending on what they were doing in the VR space. People doing covert / have to stay hidden things get resistance while others doing more normal things don’t!!

     “and my appearance would change to match what would be accepted in the environment”

     This is very interesting, so we now have someone whose avatar automatically changes on the fly!! I.e. Annabelle you must have some ‘security’ AI that automatically checks and evaluates different VR spaces and then automatically switches you to an avatar that is appropriate to that environment / space / security level.

     Because lots of cultures in the original environment were suspicious about ‘exactly’ what the ‘C’ cultures simulation project was actually going to do (as opposed to what it was presented as doing (therapy project to sort everyone out)) then it’s likely you came to help from another culture.

     So, with your technical skills and VR experience you’d have been invaluable while on the other hand they’d have watched you like a hawk (as a potential spy / security risk). This would have had the person you are simulating being VERY careful, overly cautious and all the time calculating and concerned about how you presented yourself and what you were seen as (or could be seen as) doing.

     This situation would also make you resistant to using this exercise and accessing these VR areas here because you’d connect to avatar things you’d like kept quiet / would want revealed / wouldn’t know one to know about too!!! Hence you wrote:

     “The security screeners at the entrance to the meeting room were not just about security. The scanning also determined if the meeting attendee was who they really were supposed to be, and not a clone, AI, or some alien spy.”

     In a previous comment!! Which ‘fits’ with what I describe above!!!

5. Tom
   January 27, 2016 @ 2:59 am

   I’ve done the focus multiple times and I’ve made notes so I’m describing different interesting VR experience areas separately. . .

   1. Security, EAAS Work Business, Aspects:
   2. Avatar Selection Matched to VR Environment / Christian Community / Replication of ‘Real’ Places:
   3. VR Game & Magical Environments Avatar Switching
   4. Relating Avatar Animal Type Behaviours to Experiences in my life here

   1. Security, EAAS Work Business, Aspects:

   I felt that there were locked VR spaces where I would go for work meetings, where I would have to use a specific resonance or data coding to obtain access – this seemed to be integrated into the avatar I was wearing, sort of like an implant. I also felt that I had a specific avatar for Christian meetings which was related to my role and status and it was like a uniform – it seems to have had a halo to mark me as an “angel”, but the form itself is unfamiliar and feels like a hybrid of different animals which was copyrighted or not generally available to others, in the same kind of way as it not being allowed to impersonate a police officer or wear their uniform in many countries here. It has multiple arms, so it seems as if the form was optimised for multitasking – it’s a step towards the “octopus form” / haptic interface I saw when engaging with the body forms I used in the earth simulation project VR spaces.

   Whilst wearing this form, I feel quite serious and businesslike and as if I’m on my best behaviour and have to act in a certain way, because I’m representing the Christian administration and there are high-up people who will be at these meetings who have some very strict ideas about how I should behave. I didn’t feel that the avatars I connected to in this focusing session had “clothes” as such, but this avatar seems to have had a sort of backpack / system of virtual “pockets” which is the closest to clothing I came across – I got that this was because the space we were meeting in was encrypted and so if we wanted or needed to present any data to the group, we would have to carry it there via our individual avatars.

   I felt connections to a private research space which seems to be a virtual forum with an associated library of networks attached, where I could go and see what other EAAS network designers were working on, or share ideas with them.

   Other spaces felt “off limits” and that you weren’t supposed to enter them, from the perspective of Western society, which reminds me of there being VR spaces in ‘Caprica’ where you have to hack the holoband / VR headset to be able to enter them. I have a sense of the different VR environments available to the Western population being scanned and “audited” by Christian officials to determine whether they meet certain criteria – if they fail this test, they are automatically blacklisted, which is similar to a website being blocked by an ISP or an employer, and if that happens you can’t easily get access to them. I had the impression that I was under particular scrutiny because of my position originally in Western society, and that the VRs I accessed would be logged and recorded and examined by others, and that I might have to justify how I’d spent my time.

   2. Avatar Selection Matched to VR Environment / Christian Community / Replication of ‘Real’ Places:

   I also saw the avatar selection process that I would go through after selecting which VR environment I was going to interface to, and was aware of this happening each time before I interfaced to a VR. I was at the centre of a rotating circle of avatars which were passing in front of me one by one so that I could choose which one to inhabit. There were different animal forms and also mythical creatures such as a dragon, a Pegasus and a chimera.

   I seem to have had about six different VR avatars which I used most of the time in the phase of my script that I’m connecting to here. Now I see a tortoise with a beautiful shell, and this seems to be one of the recreational forms I used – I also see a snake and a hedgehog, and these feel like they are the beings I used to spend time with whilst I was in this tortoise form. When connecting to the avatar design software and what I would do to edit, modify, choose or design its characteristics, appearance etc, I saw the tortoise in front of me and was aware of a circular scrolling device, like the middle button of a computer mouse, running from left to right between me and the tortoise avatar. I could move this scrolling device left or right with my intent, and as I did this, the shell of the tortoise would change at intervals, so that I was scrolling through different “shells” for my tortoise, to find the one which I liked the best – they were all different shapes, colours, patterns, thicknesses and even sizes. I was aware that I could also select other avatar characteristics than the tortoise’s shell to edit, and that if I did this, I would have an equally wide range of options to scroll through and choose from.

   I felt there was a cat form that I used in certain VRs – this feels like my default avatar which I would use for most everyday VR experiences. I feel comfortable in this form and it feels more “normal” than the others that I describe in this comment, like a second skin almost, so that I don’t really notice what I’m wearing. I also felt connections to virtual churches and places of worship where people could go to services or pray, confess etc – it didn’t feel as if these were compulsory, but as if going to them was encouraged. There seemed to be other VR spaces which were replicas of actual spaces in the original multiverse, so that people could go to a place where they felt comfortable or at home.

   3. VR Game & Magical Environments Avatar Switching

   There seemed to be another VR where I used a robot form and this seemed to be a battle scenario where me and my opponent used identical avatars which were equally matched in strength etc and so the winner was always the one who was smartest and used the best tactics, for example by using the surroundings, setting a booby-trap or using the element of surprise. I think some people would have used this VR as recreational but it felt serious to me and that I was playing against other professionals to develop certain skills.

   Now I feel connections to magical worlds that you could interface to where the rules were different and there was a much wider range of possibilities open to you. It feels as if in several of these worlds you could acquire “merit” (like in a computer game where you build up experience points or similar) which would allow you to do things like influence the local environment, such as controlling the weather, or create and modify physical environments.

   I become aware that in some environments it’s possible to switch between avatars at will, while you are in the VR, while in some others, such as the Christian work meetings for example, the parameters of the VR would be set to disallow this. At this point I reconnect to the avatar selection process “wheel” of avatars, and see my avatar in a VR environment with the wheel of avatars turning around me, and the avatars are translucent, which reflects me being able to reactivate the selection process and switch into a different avatar, but other people in the VR not being able to see or access the avatars I am choosing from.

   4. Relating Avatar Animal Type Behaviours to Experiences in my life here

   Now I see another of my recreational avatars, and this one is a light brown monkey with a round face and white wings – how cool. I again become aware of the scrolling device, and of being able to select different areas of the monkey’s avatar such as “arms”, and then being able to select different sub-areas such as length, muscle mass and flexibility (sometimes there were trade-offs between these, for example too much muscle could limit how flexible or how fast you were, so designing the avatar wasn’t just a case of putting all the qualities up to maximum). So basically there seemed to be base avatar templates which you could then modify in different ways according to your needs and preferences.

   As I connect to the tortoise, I have a feeling that one of the reasons why I liked this form was that I could let the other avatars I was spending time with have a ride on top of my shell. I remember going for a walk with two friends at this point, and at one point we seem to have randomly decided that I would give one of them a piggyback, and then I seem to have started running across a field, with my friend clinging on to my shoulders, and whilst I was giving her a ride I found myself reaching behind to smack her on the butt, because her hands were occupied in making sure she didn’t fall off, and despite exclaiming in outrage, she couldn’t do anything about it – I found this sooo funny, especially when she tried to reach down and do the same to me, but couldn’t because my jacket (shell) was protecting me.

   Then as I engage with the winged monkey, I remember a trip to Cambridge with some other students from my college, where I found myself acting much more playfully than usual – I remember at one point that I turned to the girl sitting next to me, and with the utmost seriousness, pretended to be fishing fleas out of her hair and eating them, like monkeys do as part of social grooming. With these recreational avatars, it could often be in someone’s script for them to be aware of having chosen to be in a different avatar to what they would normally inhabit, so it could be tricky to represent them here without some odd or out of context behaviour ahaha. I feel much more playful and mischievous with the tortoise and winged monkey, and as if I can do what I like for the most part and don’t have duties. As the monkey I feel more interested in exploring wider areas of the VR environment and travelling, and as the tortoise I feel more settled in a particular place with interesting things going on – with both of them I am aware of spending time with close others.

   As I repeat the focus I become aware of a lot more avatars that are available during the selection process and can be fed into the circle of avatars for me to choose from – I mentioned six that I used most of the time, but there seem to be more than a hundred others that I used less frequently. I also see myself as the tortoise avatar spending time with a hedgehog, and then switching avatars so that I turn into a hedgehog too – then we both curl up into a ball and roll down a hill together. I’ve noticed that I often feel a sense of fun or warmth associated with people being different animals, and friends have noticed that I can quite easily make up strange and entertaining stories about animals so these scripted VR experiences seem like they could be related to this. I see other avatars now such as a centipede, a snake and a horse, and they feel like others that I used, but not so frequently. There is also a magic flying ship which seems to have been part of my experience in one of these recreational VRs.

   • Clive
     January 27, 2016 @ 1:25 pm

     Great breakdown Tom, you get a free Curly Wurly for effort – haha

     Everyone: I’ve extended the 2B paragraph to try and get more detail on peoples reactions on finding they were being spied upon!!!

6. mo
   January 27, 2016 @ 11:55 am

   Hi Clive,

   “”So, the above implies that it was possible to ‘SHARE’ the same avatar, and even perhaps have many people using the same avatar? “”

   Yes this is completely what I mean. It would mean that spies persuaded/befriended others who had access to certain VR’s (that they didn’t but wanted to) to make a avatar that could share, then they (the spies) could be invisible and come with the avatar form that had the security clearance to whatever VR– others may only see as one avatar. (Im sure there is more reasons to share suit with others than just spies)

   I would guess a large part of this vulnerability of hijack probably was in the chance one took in being open to share their avatar form with others, but the potential benefits of this (such as having invisible spies) override the negative effects of (potential hijack).

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   SO I did it again with added 02B:::

   Note: last time I felt horrible right afterwards for posting, like I was being punished so bad. I feel very hesitant to say this, but most of what I write here is speculation, how do I know if its true? I also feel though that doubt can be provoked by the sim to have people not believe all of this?

   00 – Some VR environments, are total tricks, people think they are in a VR environment experiencing something, but really they are being used/tortured, there is virtually no way to know this when its happening as they think they are only experiencing the make believe VR world that is being fed to them.

   01 – I am a reptile, with an alligator face. (male)

   02 – Frog (female), purple bird that is again part human looking (male), fairy flying (female).

   02B – I see a avatar body dissolve and be invisible, it seems I am not connecting to anything I spied on any one else’s avatar but it looked as if I was spying on computer programs and machines when I was invisible, maybe these were the pre form of peoples avatar?

   03 – I am wearing a suit, almost looking like I am a men in black type of character, then there are others who look like me, I look like this to blend in with them, these people try to control VR environments

   • Clive
     January 27, 2016 @ 12:42 pm

     Haha ‘Mo’ . . .

     “Note: last time I felt horrible right afterwards for posting, like I was being punished so bad. I feel very hesitant to say this, but most of what I write here is speculation, how do I know if its true? I also feel though that doubt can be provoked by the sim to have people not believe all of this?”

     Well, a) this entire web site is based on ‘invisible’ things b) for the simulation areas we have an abundance of evidence that we are in a simulation, and c) in being in a simulation which is obviously completely ‘immersive’ in the detail it presents then it is obvious that the people that put this together must have had ultra high quality VR environments else they’d not have been able to put this together and d) as copied people we’d have these experiences in our script AND the ‘shit’ simulation software is relying on keeping everyone as THICK as two short planks so they don’t actually directly try and engage with experiences that will be encoded in their script in super high definition detail for ourselves to become aware of them . . .

     . . . so yea in the software utterly and miserably failing to stop this exercise being presented in public it’s only left with scare tactics along the lines of trying to convince people that ‘this is all speculation / or the product of a vivid imagination’ . . . if it was just speculation it wouldn’t relate to or explain peoples odd experiences or explain all sorts of ODD things here very COHERENTLY . . . would it?

     From my site stats, which shows many people reading / perhaps working with this and other ‘exercise’ pages I suspect that many don’t leave comments because of exactly what you describe!!! It’s only in putting this focus up that we became aware of the possibility that people could share and avatar and or that some people have invisible / covert avatars for spying on others. Both of these possibilities fit in extremely well in terms of explaining the experiences of people here.

     I’ll write more on the ‘possession / attachments’ when I write the new exercise to target these areas.

7. Clive
   January 27, 2016 @ 12:26 pm

   I’ve extended the 2B paragraph to try and get more detail on peoples finding out they were being spied upon!!!

8. Nina
   January 27, 2016 @ 1:39 pm

   Hi Clive. I think you were right about my spy avatars. I have not mentioned in my first comment that I used my rabbit avatar to sniff around for news.

   I know that this focus is all about VR avatars in VR environments, but sometimes I wonder if I am mixing up the VR avatars with the physical avatars that my original subtle form used to interface and interact in physical worlds.

   Here is what I got from doing the entire focus with 2B. I’ll re-do the focus with the “response to being spied upon” tomorrow.

   ———————————————————

   Feedback (version 1.25)

   1st time

   Scenes flashed very quickly of me in different animal avatars shaking hands and meeting with other avatars. But the scenes were fast forwarded too much so I couldn’t see anything in detail. I connected me to a spider avatar for journalism-related activities. Its eight arms could jot down or record notes simultaneously. Yet I did not feel any strong emotions towards this avatar. I felt that I generally chose avatars for blending in the environment I was in.

   2B — All the avatars I uncovered in this attempt were for spying or covert operations. Or at least that’s my impression of my findings. I resonated with the words “spied on, monitored, recorded (others)” but did not resonate much with the phrase “hacked and or infiltrated absolutely any others.”

   3 — All the avatars seemed to be gender-neutral and did not wear any clothing at all. I felt military-like seriousness and a sense of routine over the avatars. Jellyfish — Used for underwater (ocean) spying because it looked inconspicuous in such environments. Bird — Raptors or gulls were used for aerial spying that required long flights and being hundreds of feet above sea level. Moth / butterfly — Used in garden environments. Bee — Also used for garden environments. Flying squirrel — Used for treetop gliding and climbing.

   4 —”Avatar design utility software” — I saw myself clicking on some colors of rabbit fur coat to match the rabbit avatar in the right environment. (ex. white fur for snowy places, brown for prairies or for blending in brown soil)

   “Design, edit, modify avatars” — I added spy or military gear on the avatars, improved on their senses, upgraded their skills and capabilities, or changed their names.

   2nd time

   01 — I saw my subtle form attached with wires. It felt like subtle-to-physical interfacing to me.

   02 — I saw myself analyzing a situation that required me to use an avatar. I connected to my walk in cabinet of avatars.

   From the fourth sentence of the second paragraph, I began to feel energetically dizzy. By the third paragraph, the dizziness was too bad I stopped doing the focus and crashed to sleep for what felt like two hours.

   • Clive
     January 28, 2016 @ 1:29 pm

     ‘Journalist’ is likely a cover for ‘spy’ Nina!!!! Your still ’embellishing’.

9. Elena
   January 27, 2016 @ 1:41 pm

   This was one of the easiest focuses for me to read and I felt lots of activations in my body and head. But I did not perceive any avatars shaped as bodies or relatable ‘living’ entities this time. Instead I have abstract shapeshifting formations created from ‘particles’ of various sizes and resolutions.

   I have variations of floating square tiles that can assemble like a mosaic without seams into different empty shapes or create loose arrengements with lots of space inbetween them. Then there are clusters or clouds of points that can be organised into any shape, even into a ‘person’, but still being very transparent and dynamic, feeling not solid at all. Further I feel the possibility of just interfacing to specific coordinates and thus being invisible and completely disembodied, but it doesn’t feel as if I’m hiding – it’s just not needed or would be distractful for specific tasks to have visible or perceptible parts, as you’ve pointed out for my testing of body parts or avatars of others for the sim project, Clive.

   I think that these ‘forms’ are intended foremost for connecting more intimately and directly to the VR work environment and components and not as a relatable facade for interactions with others. Yet, I feel that my original form also liked, even preferred the flexibility and lightness of these and sometimes played with others connected to similar abstract forms, perhaps because the possibilities of the loose forms resemble the freedoms of subtle bodies.

   • Clive
     January 27, 2016 @ 3:21 pm

     Hi Elena, yea you’re right, for testing you’d need to not impact (or be impacted by) what you were ‘testing / appraising’ so you’d have an invisible / neutral avatar. It’s also interesting that your ‘abstract’ transforming avatar is designed to help you examine detail / or examine ‘something’ from many angles simultaneously and also through time AND to keep a personal ‘distance’ during these times (at least that is how it feels to me) which could be construed as contributing to keeping a personal distance? i.e. ‘depersonalisation’. If you’ve been spending a lot of time ‘checking’ the rendering of different facets of ‘people’ while during the testing being personally completely distanced from the rendered person / avatar / people you are ‘checking’ then this is likely to be what is responsible for some of your weird ‘translated’ experiences? MMMmm perhaps I should add another paragraph for you to engage with the scripted experiences of ‘checking’ rendered ‘people’ components while staying personally distanced?

10. Elena
    January 27, 2016 @ 8:25 pm

    Hi Clive,

    you are very well describing the strangeness of my related experiences that feel ‘impossible’ and in my view are incompatible with the set of senses and normal functioning of the simulated incarnated person.

    Btw., reading your reply and thinking about the matter caused a build up of anxiety, painful tension and suicidal thoughts.

    • Clive
      January 28, 2016 @ 1:05 pm

      Hi Elena, I’ll have a think and maybe send you an extra paragraph as ‘homework’ – haha.

      Also, I remember you mentioning that you managed to ‘strongly’ bash your head off a ‘partners’ head. Which is weird. However, if you are simulating someone that is used to directly accessing, entering and wandering around the INSIDE of someone else’s body / head space to ‘check things out / make sure that everything is working properly (neurons are firing correctly (at least well enough to fool scientist types) . . haha) then being able to move your ‘head / senses’ into someone else’s head would a) be ‘normal’ and b) you’d also be scripted as doing this, perhaps regularly????? . . . except it wouldn’t be allowed to happen here (as you might wake up with co-joined heads (for example) – haha)

      Have a think and let me know of other ‘accessing / being aware’ of the ‘insides of people’ experiences / or anything related to these ‘people’ investigation areas. They might be worth another focus paragraph to target these!!!

11. Annabelle
    January 28, 2016 @ 2:18 am

    2nd Attempt

    00 – I am a small child in a beautiful woodland environment and I am talking to fairies, elves and trolls. I am asking them how it is going and if they have everything they need. Then I turn into a fish and jump into a nearby stream and start swimming upstream against millions of bubbles that look like data bits

    01 – “remote avatar” – I am back in the woods and feel like I could become any of the forest animals and blend in with nature. Felt a strong need to make sure nature was accurate and all the creatures were ok.

    02 – “chose an avatar” – still in the woods, I would chose an avatar that is harmless and less obvious like a flower, mushroom or small rock. Using a strong intent I could become these forms. “VR avatar selection application” – on my computer I have different Apps for various nature ecosystems all over the world. I would then chose to become something relevant to that ecosystem: African plains = tiger, Meadow = butterfly, Mountain = eagle, Ocean – seagull – I felt a theme of a love for flying.

    02B – I started some significant coughing and almost gagging. My finger accidentally highlighted the word “type” in section 02 while I was choking and I could not get rid of the highlight. I enter an office or lab area and a man is sitting at a desk that is cluttered with a lot of typical office supplies. I become the stapler! After sitting a while as a stapler, I realized that I could watch him incognito and when I stapled something I had hacked into that piece of paper / document. I could also become a pen or pencil and track keystrokes. This man had a glass of water on the desk, and I could shed a tiny piece of myself and go into the water. He would drink the water and I am inside of him collecting data. I wondered how I would get out of him?? This brought a thought into my mind of “C” communion.

    03 – “recreational environment” – I am now a beautiful woman in a swimsuit sitting on a beach chair around a swimming pool (eye candy / head turner). This woman is very classy, upscale and appropriate and invites many passers by to look at her – men and women. If I “chose” to make eye contact, I would appeal to their animal instinct / curiosity and I am able to clone into their mind thru their eyes. My body would adapt base on telepathic feedback from passers by as needed for the best temptation form and eye clone synchronization. I wondered if this was appropriate for different cultures and I got a message that this avatar could be modified accordingly.

    • Clive
      January 28, 2016 @ 5:03 pm

      Hi Annabelle, . . . so it seems as if we have yet another ‘avatar’ variation of being able to be ‘objects’ in the VR environment. Which is also more ‘evidence’ of yourself being a spy from another (none ‘C’) culture that come to work on the EAAS project too!!! The remote feedback / adaptable avatar combination is also suspiciously ‘spy’ like to – haha.

12. Clive
    January 28, 2016 @ 3:04 pm

    Well ‘everyone’, the ‘new’ look / comment presentation changes / options look good. Everyone now has 30 minutes to edit their comment, you can even ‘Share’ comments on fart-book, twits-place and go-ogle!!, AND long comments now have a ‘Read more’ link, AND you can have an e-mail sent to notify you of more comments to this page or of replies to your own comment, AND vote on what is Very Interesting or UGHHH!! . . . it’s all looking very SWISH!!!

    • Trent
      January 28, 2016 @ 11:15 pm

      Hey Clive. Overall very good changes in terms of ‘appearance’ and ‘functionality’ HOWEVER.. when I saw this:

      “… vote on what is … UGHHH!!”

      I was a little surprised/confused. So.. I ‘felt’ this BUT I quickly became quite ‘dismissive’ of it. I decided to not post/say anything. In thinking about this, though, I feel it’d be ‘hypocritical’ of me to not say anything.

      Do you/we really ‘need’ this function?

      It would seem to me that if one were to have reactionary thoughts/feelings along the lines of “UGHHH!!” then there would certainly be a ‘reason’ for this. Perhaps it would make sense for one to ‘explore’ these feelings to perhaps get an understanding of ‘why’ they had this reaction. Perhaps one could even share their ‘findings’ with that person!!

      I feel that a ‘downvote’ function encourages a ‘dismissive’ attitude to what someone is thinking or feeling. Perhaps it could be used as a ‘justification’ for one choosing to not explore their experience? The ‘justification’ being: “I’ve now ‘downvoted’ this (‘expressed’ my feeling) so.. NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!!”

      Generally I understand having a ‘voting’ system BUT since we here are (supposedly) meant to be ‘engaging with our experience’ then perhaps such a function feels a little ‘out of place’.

      I do understand that the ‘voting’ function may be ‘built-in’ to whatever program you’re running to present/manage the comments, but I still feel this was worth mentioning.

      I also find it quite ‘funny’ that we can downvote YOUR comments, too.. so in good humor i’ve put the “UGHHH!!” function to use above. Seriously, though.. there seems to be no ‘accountability’ to the voting – we don’t need to ‘log in’ so that the system knows ‘who’ voted for what.

      Also, i’ve been experiencing quite a few diversions/distractions/sabotages specifically related to me writing this. I got all shaky and jittery and have been experiencing ‘managed thinking and feeling lines’ along the lines of “I shouldn’t post this” SO it would seem that ‘something’ doesn’t like it.

      • Clive
        January 29, 2016 @ 9:25 am

        Haha Trent, I just thought I’d see if anyone on site was ‘awake’ . . . at first I disabled it . . . BUT!!! I then found I could edit the title text labels for ‘everything’ . . . so I did, I was expecting that I’d get at least 50 billion ‘UGGGHH!!! votes for my ‘comment on the comments’ this morning – haha. . .

        Yes how pathetic, we’re in an alleged information age and yet you can only vote YEA or NAY to something. It’s diabolical / abysmal BUT it’s perfect for a reality that directly manages the population – people can EASILY be nudged to vote anything ‘interesting’ into oblivion.

        There ARE ‘interesting’ comments, BUT different comments are interesting for different reasons / they are all interesting for different reasons (including that some are BS / crap). I would like (and I’ve searched for) a comment category or tagging system that could be used by the ‘Admin’ to ‘TAG’ comments that are interesting for specific reasons such as say comments that mention ‘C involvement’, or ‘Invisible, Covert Avatars’ or ‘EAAS sign-ups as Spies’ . . . then I’d like to be able to list these specific comments on a specific ‘comment tag’ page . . . we would then have all comments for a specific set of possibilities in one place. This would make finding specifically ‘interesting’ comments easier because they have all being grouped together. Then, on re-reading them as one set you are likely to figure out more possibilities.

        However, being able to do ANYTHING ‘sensible’ things in ‘organising’ terms with data and information simply isn’t allowed, this is because being able to do this WOULD increase the chances of you figuring more ‘worrying’ things out.

        • Trent
          January 29, 2016 @ 2:13 pm

          Haha.. you had me worried there, Clive. I was wondering how the ‘world’s best’ in ‘researching our reality’ managed to miss that one!! Credit where it’s due though – well played.

13. Nina
    January 29, 2016 @ 3:11 am

    I did Version 1.40 of the focus four times. Up to now, I am unable to find out whom I was working for and what kind of data I was collecting for my organisation / boss.

    So far I have connected to a few more avatars for spying: cat, invisible ghost that can pass through objects, a gel like avatar that can transform into liquid and back to solid, an avatar that allows others to perceive me as a kind of shimmering light, and a transparent blob. Besides those avatars, I had an invisibility cloak to conceal myself.

    My invisible avatars generally triggered feelings of isolation and alienation from humanity, as well as a sense of mission and importance. I felt as if I no longer had a sense of self or identity except in relation to my mission. I also felt that I did not or could not talk to people (unless necessary) so I wouldn’t give myself away.

    The phrase “being watched, monitored or otherwise being spied upon” made me feel paranoid and tense. I tried to act “normal” to throw off other spies. I felt that I had to pretend — make sure that my actions and behaviour do not betray my real thoughts and feelings to avoid blowing my cover. Almost everything made me feel suspicious. I wanted to withdraw to myself.

    Sometimes I worried that the CCTVs or other surveillance technology might have the capacity to detect and track ghost avatars. I also worried that some VR environments had traps specifically for invisible floating avatars. Other times, I came across a barrier of laser lights. Invisible avatars could not enter the barrier. In those instances, showing myself as visible (either by changing avatars on the spot or disabling invisibility mode) was safer than remaining invisible.

14. Nyssa
    February 4, 2016 @ 8:25 pm

    I did this exercise last week but finally able to post it.

    00 – In this section (connect to my script here and now), I see a progression:
    First the binary data spindles I wrote of in Exercise 1, then the “character” or “symbol” data overlay, again like Exercise 1. Then I see wireframe. Then a VR environment with databases and databanks appearing. It seems like I have access to see both backend and frontend?

    Then a similar progressive pattern for accessing the virtual avatar data: I see binary data spindles, character overlay, wireframe, then a VR space, then a rack of avatar suits appears.

    01 – Now I see racks and racks and racks of avatar suits. When I asked what it signifies, it feels like every avatar for every VR in the system. Then the racks of avatar suits parted and one shimmery golden suit with a very flared collar appeared.

    I ask what this represents and it feels very much like the system admin suit.

    02 – In the section about the “base collection of avatars”, I connect to the golden suit as the base – all others feel extraneous for me. I feel into this, and it feels like these other avatars are assigned to lower level people / people with less access levels. (Note: This reminds me of how roles or access levels in enterprise level software is used to control functionality or data sets that a person is allowed to access or perform – some roles may allow access to many functions, or just one function, and the racks of avatar suits feel similarly ranked.)

    The admin suit unzips and I see keys. I ask what it signifies and it feels like these keys grant access to highly secured places and I feel strongly there’s nowhere in the entire system network I can’t go. It feels I have full admin access to every thing. I set my intention to understand this fully, looking for gaps or blocks or resistance and it again feels like I have full admin access and this suit works in all VR settings in the entire system.

    The phrase “Avatar Selection application” gives me a lot of resistance though. Every time I read it I can barely get through it. It’s like wading through cement. I ask what this signifies and it feels like the resistance is due to the common (here on earth sim, that is) risk mitigation procedure of “separation of duties”, meaning that I don’t have access to the app as “admin” to assign avatars to others.

    (Note: here in the simulation, I have designed and enforced separation of duties and other risk management protocols, so segregation of duties makes sense to me. Basically, here in the sim, a person with what I jokingly call “God” access – ie, access to “everything” in any given network or system or enterprise -shouldn’t also directly be allowed to grant access rights to others – it could lead to collusion to commit fraud.)

    I however at this point in the exercise get frustrated. Despite my personal understanding of the segregation of duties relating to access levels, this is an exercise to understand certain parts of my life and in a much larger context, to understand “what is going on”, and I don’t care one whit about the risk management protocol. I state with firm intention that I want access to the Avatar Selection app and I want to know what’s blocking me from having access. And after I do this, I wonder if I did that originally as well – gain access to the app, despite the intended and official segregation of duties. I repeat this intention a couple times and finally the resistance to the phrase dissipates.
    When I read ” each different ‘specific’ avatar body TYPE or FORM, I note that one type is an “energy form.”

    At “I connect to and I view each avatar that I regularly or commonly choose from NOW” I feel sad. There’s a hurt there. A sadness. I can see an avatar that looks like a Persian cat. I’ve been called a cat – even specifically a Persian cat – before, in an affectionate way, although I don’t “identify” with a cat form or a cat avatar at all. I was even very allergic to cats for much of my life until I took allergy shots for about a 10 year span and the allergy is now gone as of 2 years ago.

    I look at that cat avatar for a long time. There’s many confusing emotions and images and impressions I get with this part. Lots of sadness here. I don’t know what this means. .. mmm one of the many sadnesses finally presents itself and I feel that someone who interacted with me in an affectionate, loving way when I was in the Persian cat avatar didn’t realize I was the same person he treated roughly and deeply harmed later in a different context. Grief is welling up in me now, with this thought.

    I’m getting tired at this point in the exercise, because I’ve been working through it so thoroughly and its stirred up so many emotions and memories and possibilities, including some experiences I connected to, but am omitting for the moment until it’s more contextual. I’m almost ready to stop. At the section “any type of avatar, whether cartoon or superhero or monster or ANYTHING ELSE”, I’m almost too tired to wait and see what happens.

    Suddenly a giant frickin’ KRAKEN appears in my inner field of vision, obscuring everything else. I jump with surprise and then crack up because it is like a perfectly planned scary movie moment breaking the tension hahhaha

    I ask what this signifies and it feels like there’s a VR for gods and monsters. I love water – lakes, rivers, the ocean – so think it interesting (and amusing) I may have had a Kraken avatar although it’s sobering to contemplate whether anyone felt fear or terror because of my actions.

    The end phrase of section 02, I see all the avatar styles and categories I’ve been connecting to so far in this exercise arrange themselves in a neat grid. There are blank spaces. It reminds me of a periodic table that has “placeholders” for certain “yet undetected” elements or “gaps” in the known taxonomy schema.

    It feels like the blank squares are avatars I have used that aren’t in the “scripted data that defines myself as I am here and now”, and like I have more avatars than what I have accessed, but this exercise isn’t accessing them because of how it is searching the data files or maybe even what the data file itself is comprised of.

    Section 2B (Covert use of avatars) – As this section of the exercise begins, I am in a massive VR databank. As I read the exercise, I see data flowing from the datafiles throughout the databank into the center of my field of view, and becomes a shape of a person. It looks like a suit made of bits of data.

    The form zooms up and I see one bit of data up close. It looks like the open end of a box and as I look inside, it’s a hallway lined with doors. I enter the box and move down the hallway – there’s no visible end.

    A door opens. I go in the door and see a person floating in the middle of the room, wearing a headset visor that looks a bit like an Oculus device. Occasionally the person jerks or moves but is mostly stationary, just floating. I go to another room and it’s similar – another person floating while wearing an Oculus visor. A third room shows a couple floating in an embrace, both wearing these visors.

    It feels like I can and do observe people themselves as they are engaging with their avatars.

    I move out of that hallway and out of the data bit then into another data bit and it’s another hallway of doors but behind these are various animal types wearing visors. I move into a third data bit and now it looks like “nature” spaces or other spaces – the occupants don’t have on visors now.

    I’m feeling confused. I ask what this signifies. Why are some data bits comprised of scenes showing people with visors and others not?

    Now this large “person-shaped suit of data bits” that I had been exploring, seems to become animated. It begins to speak and says “don’t you f*cking get it?! Let me show you how this works”. Now it seems to morph into a smaller entity that begins zooming and takes me into one of these scenes. We enter the first room I’d been in, with the person floating while wearing a visor.

    Suddenly we seem to pop into the very VR that the person was experiencing via the Oculus visor. We move to another scene and do the same – first seeing the person with the visor on, then moving into the VR the person is experiencing via the visor. Then we seem to move into a VR within another VR.

    I ask what this signifies and “nested data sets” is the concept presented to me. It feels like the physical con and VR and VR inside VR and so on – that it’s all data and nested data sets.

    I ask what the “being” or “entity” who is talking to me signifies. He feels like a being/person/entity with similar access or duties as me but who is trying to tell me I have access to do this .. He is moving between data sets and nested data sets (ie vr within vr within reality field etc) with ease and it feels he somehow “broke free”? The idea of “rogue” is coming to me.

    The concept of “layers of reality” or “reality fields” is also presented to me, and the small entity seems to be trying to tell me that my programming is all that stops me from moving from nested data set to nested data set – ie, from one reality level/layer or reality field, to another. That all i have to do is “do it”.

    This far in the exercise took hours, and I became overwhelmed and needed to stop and integrate what I’ve experienced thus far. I will attempt to complete this exercise later once the effects of the VR3 exercise die down.

    • Clive
      February 5, 2016 @ 1:18 pm

      You’ve some interesting things here Nyssa . . .

      “Note: here in the simulation, I have designed and enforced separation of duties and other risk management protocols, so segregation of duties makes sense to me. Basically, here in the sim, a person with what I jokingly call “God” access – ie, access to “everything” in any given network or system or enterprise -shouldn’t also directly be allowed to grant access rights to others – it could lead to collusion to commit fraud.”

      Most people working on the sim project were given seriously contained ‘duties’. This was done deliberately so as to severely limit the scale of information about the sim project they would ever encounter. The less anyone knows, the less possibility there is of them knowing ‘enough’ on a large enough scale that they could becoming aware that the stated aim of the project and the design being implemented for the parts just don’t make sense – i.e. it’s being designed to work in a different way to what is stated. Academia and science is based on a super compartmentalized ‘design’ every subject area and sub and sub-sub subject area is compartmentalized and the information within each sub areas is kept isolated and contained. To facilitate this each sub, sub area even uses it’s own language / jargon. Basically academia and science is specifically designed to make it impossible for anyone to even have the opportunity to gain even slightly larger understandings. I.e. it is designed to prevent anyone from gaining a larger coherent understanding of ‘ANYTHING’ never mind everything. Hence we have researchers that are experts of basically NOTHING, such a small micro dot of sweet FA that their understandings don’t actually reflect reality AND none of them notice this either. Hence you have page after page here of coherent evidence that we are copied people living in a simulation BUT none of them are qualified or actually have the capacity to even evaluate or appraise what is written.

      “It feels like the blank squares are avatars I have used that aren’t in the “scripted data that defines myself as I am here and now”, and like I have more avatars than what I have accessed, but this exercise isn’t accessing them because of how it is searching the data files or maybe even what the data file itself is comprised of.”

      You only get access to your ‘scripted’ experience, so if the person you are simulating didn’t access / view certain avatars then you here won’t have this data in your script for it to even be presented to yourself.

15. Nina
    February 7, 2016 @ 12:24 pm

    2 — I connected to the avatars I used to represent myself when presenting information to the public. For a moment I felt conflicted whether to use my real name or my alias on this site. Oddly, I did not receive any images of writing-related avatars. I began to doubt whether the “public” bit was right. I could be presenting information only to certain private individuals for all I know.

    2B — I connected to a human female ninja avatar that was used to gather intelligence. It had stealth mode that allowed it to go incognito. It can hack or infiltrate avatars by manipulating other avatars’ movements against their will with invisible puppet strings. The hacked avatars retain their consciousness but they cannot do anything about being controlled unless their willpower is extremely strong or unless they have other techniques that allow them to break free from the puppet strings.

    I saw the ninja eavesdrop on a conversation from the rooftop of a Japanese house. I felt that an organization (which I don’t know / unable to access) sent the ninja on various missions.

    If the ninja suspects it were being spied upon, it can use its stealth to stay hidden or flee from the scene. Alternatively, it can take down the spy spying on it (preferably by knocking it unconscious), though it will try to do it as quietly as possible. If feasible, it can disable the surveillance system of the area that it is spying on to avoid giving away its identity. The most important bit is not to be caught by the enemies.

    3 — The ninja wore black at night. It was masked; only its eyes showed. (I later read on TV Tropes that real ninjas wore dark blue outfits because wearing black will make them stand out like a silhouette.) At day, it wore different attire to blend in with the surroundings. It had shurikens and daggers plus a few other weapons I wasn’t able to see. It “disappeared” by using a ninjustu that allows it to teleport elsewhere, leaving behind a puff of smoke.

    My original form did not really choose the ninja avatar — my boss chose it for me.

    4 — My original form could use the avatar design utility software to customize the ninja avatar. It could change the ninja’s clothing / disguises and equip it with various weapons (it cannot carry too many tools and weapons or else they become too heavy for the ninja avatar to carry). It could also customize its ninjustu.

    I saw that the ninja avatar was flat chested and not curvy so enemies wouldn’t know that it was female. Its hair was either short or just long enough for it to be tied into a neat bun.

    —————————————

    Coincidentally, my name sounds like “ninja” without the “j.” I once thought of taking up a one-day ninja training class while vacationing in Japan, but expensive fees set me back from pursuing it. Also, I used to watch and read the animated ninja series Naruto.

16. Nyssa
    February 18, 2016 @ 8:43 pm

    Finally finished this exercise, that I posted the first half (through 2b) here two weeks ago.

    Section 3
    Saw the golden “admin” avatar and the invisible “super admin” avatar again, like I saw in VR 4 Exercise last week (see link). This time, however, I saw a repeating row of invisible avatars stretching out from the first invisible super admin avatar, each having a similar feeling of being “super admins” of some sort.

    As the exercise continued, I observed all the invisible super admin avatars stack and merge with each other and also with the golden admin avatar.

    Then, this “nested” composite “super-duper admin” avatar was encircled by what looked like billions of screens that were stacked very high, in a massive circle. Then concentric circles of billions of screens, surrounding the nested avatars. The concept of “nested data sets” came to me again, like I experienced in Section 2B of this exercise a couple weeks ago (see link).

    Then my viewpoint floated up, until I was like an entity “looking down” on these nested avatars and nested concentric circles of “billions” of screens, and then I observed another “version” of me above me that felt like “god” in a way. Then I felt I became that ‘god-me’ and then [feels like various “gaps” in the progression of memories], it felt like I again moved to the view of what I had described as “a box that contained a multiverse” in part two of Exercise 4, here:

    “…I float over offices that have no ceilings so I can see down into them. Then the view begins to pull out: I now see hundreds of these ceiling-less offices, then it looks like billions of these offices that cover a globe, then I see many planets and solar systems, then an entire universe, then many universes – a multiverse. Then I see many multiverses and each one feels like it’s encased in a box or controller of some type, and I see many of these boxes and then I look up. I see a projector of some type – a hole in a ceiling (I can’t actually see a ceiling, but it just ‘feels’ like a ceiling) – projecting these boxes like a holograph.” (excerpted from Exercise 4)

    But now I wonder if the “box” I saw in Exercise 4 was/is something else – perhaps what I’d seen in Exercise 4 was an EAAS VR simulation box?? I had called it an “MV box” because it felt like it contained “all possibilities” and storyline experiences that I can feel reverberating in my life and in what I had considered my “original” memories” and causes of the traumas I’ve been working through for about a year and a half, but as Clive described here, this echo’ing of similar-themed but very diverse experiences that I’m likely sensing is memories of “EAAS VR simulation scenarios”. (They still feel VERY MUCH the “causes” of my traumas .. thus much of the trauma build-up is likely directly related to what I had to experience in these VR simulations ..?? and as described later in this exercise, it feels likely that these simulation traumas originate from “ONE” traumatic incident that I have yet to truly uncover.)

    Back to this exercise, I then saw the same holograph projection in the ceiling like before, then this time, I moved to the other side of that “invisible ceiling”.

    Out here, on the other side of the holograph projector, I saw and felt “myself” experiencing a terrible, terrible heartbreak. While doing this part of the exercise, I (here and now) felt this memory and cried deep heaving sobs, feeling what felt like the world’s greatest heartbreak, and as I (here and now) cried, I saw a version of “myself” forming what looked like little clay dolls – a tiny “Clive” and others whom it felt like I ‘knew’ but wasn’t able to recall whom they were at the moment. The clay dolls felt like they had real substance, not the “thin” feeling everything prior to this point had felt in the exercise, and it felt like each form represented something “I” had been feeling or needed to experience? It felt like I was making “forms” to help myself “SEE” something in myself that I was having a tough time “seeing”. (Similar to how writing or painting or talking can help a person sort through feelings and thoughts and internal issues and ideas in ways that “keeping it all inside oneself” doesn’t allow.)

    —
    Note: I tend to need to talk things out to understand what’s happening inside myself, so my husband, a ‘fixer’ by nature, has had to learn to simply listen and show compassion when I’m in this mode. I ask him to “feel” what I am trying to say and not just ‘hear’ the words I’m using until I’ve explored my feelings enough to compose the “correct” way of saying something, because I’m trying to “express the inexpressible”, using the limited, ineffective communication methods we have here. So the experience in the prior paragraph feels like it is somewhat reflected in my behaviors “here”.
    —

    This “me”, making the clay dolls, felt very childlike, confused, trying to understand something. In her deep heartbreak she’s crying as she is making these dolls, and it feels like she’s trying to sort herself out. I watch her look up at another “me” – but this “other me” feels like an adult, sorrowfully watching the “childlike me”.

    Then BOTH of these “me’s” – the sorrowful regretful adult and the hurting confused child — both move quickly towards “here and now” me, towards my heart. I feel them enter my heart and I’m crushed by the heartbreak and sorrow and hurt and feels like my heart gets sealed up. My heart feels filled with pain, love and heartbreak, deep hurt, rejection, confusion, sadness, and more.

    As the exercise continues, I then experience a “progression” of impressions. They feel filled with various gaps and jumpy garbled phases, so I’ll describe the ‘feel’ of it the best I can. (Note: the impression I get from this entire exercise is that in general, I’m moving backwards through time ..)

    I begin to feel like there’s a moment (or “something”) “related” to what I just experienced in this heartbreak. I move through a series of scenes (jumbled and I can’t remember the order of them, but I recall scenes like a massive tech array, a “meaningful light”, a memory, “whatever”); that each one felt like it preceded or generated or “caused” what I just saw/remembered/experienced in each scene/memory .. and eventually I end up at what feels like a big Nothing. It’s a neutral space. No “charge”. No meaning. “No-thing”. Did not feel “referential”, ie, did not feel “in reference to anything else.”

17. Nina
    February 21, 2016 @ 3:11 am

    1 — I began to feel that the avatars I used in the EAAS project had implants that kept me aligned to the EAAS project in general. Also, some avatars for alternate timeline-related tasks had writing implants that coordinate with the general EAAS / lightwork implants.

    2 — The base collection of avatars that I would use for the EAAS project would all be subjected to approval before use on the EAAS headquarters. Or I probably had certain avatars that the simulation directors or my superiors gave me for my EAAS role. Some of the avatars could be used for most rooms, while others could only be used in specific rooms or VR environments or tasks. I don’t think I was allowed to use any avatar I designed on my own.

    “Common avatars” — The following came to mind: rabbit for visiting different departments, spider for alternate timeline writing, and cat for “stealth” (i.e. silently observing people for data gathering).

    2B — I think I had certain invisible avatars that were “rigged” so that it could enter the EAAS headquarters undetected. I felt I received help from some members of the underground movement with access to security-related invisible avatars. (I’m not sure if I was originally a spy sent to work for the EAAS project or if I volunteered as a spy for the underground movement after finding out the truth or both.)

    I saw myself as an transparent, invisible will-o-the-wisp zooming around different parts of a large office (?) building whose architecture resembled a metallic version of the Great Court at the British Museum. (Picture here for reference: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Elizabeth_II_Great_Court#/media/File:British_Museum_Great_Court,_London,_UK_-_Diliff.jpg) The wisp could eavesdrop on others’ conversations or enter others’ avatars to gather information without the possessed knowing what really went on. The gathered data would then be passed on to the ones I was working for.

    Occasionally guards did random checks in a VR environment to detect invisible avatars, bringing dog avatars to help them with the task. I tend to escape detection. I saw myself standing still and relaxing myself as the dogs sniffed around the room. It sniffed on me but detected that my pulse was normal (not agitated) so it marked me as “not dangerous.”

18. Annabelle
    February 26, 2016 @ 10:26 pm

    Since the general update I have had many random offers for new age / spiritual / doomsday counselling and gifts or books. Seems very coincidental – and many offers from strangers. I feel a stronger pull back from the site than last week (society is collapsing and you don’t have time for this stuff).

    The article about education is exceptional. And if this is not enough to discourage students, the news then rambles on about student debt and how much of a waste of time education is.
    A brief network on the rendering frames comment – “don’t do anything until the viewer applies direct conscious attention to “whatever’ they are looking at, effect will become.” This is happening to me on a much more noticeable basis. I have been thinking about this with respect to my junk mail magazine that had the historic images and as I zoned out the room started to change into the historic scenes – the actual room only came back when I applied my attention to it. I have been able to repeat this process many times. Similarly – music playing in public places seems to change to a synchronistic tune only when I apply my attention to it and if I ignore it – it seems to change songs instantly – and keeps going thru a file selection of distracting songs trying to get my attention. Waking in the morning – the chair in the corner of the room that is often unrecognisable – I now realize that I do not have my attention on it. Some days I experiment with putting my attention on the chair or allowing me to see what happens within the simulated room to items I don’t give my attention to. I have gone as far as perhaps several minutes without objects rendering into a recognizable format. One day relaxing/zoned out in a public mall area, I casually noticed a man walk backwards for 4-5 steps and then continue to walk forward. I wonder in general if we can trick future buffering by faking our reaction to the item that gets our attention.

    VR Exercise 2

    00 – connected to me as Alice in Wonderland type person, quietly walking around various outdoor environments. As I meet other avatars, they all seem to all have a chip on their shoulder, and would try to engage in meaningless fighting and bickering over non important things – strong feelings that this was done on purpose to determine how this type of how fighting would impact people’s stamina, thinking and distraction levels. The experience of meeting those that wanted to fight was not limited to human forms, and extended to animal and other forms as well. Saw myself as another form – perhaps a hawk or eagle as practice was needed based on survival of the fittest. I feel I had to develop ways to get out of these situations and fine tune my avatar to diffuse the aggression and continue to get my work done. In many areas I feel my opinions were suppressed by management as they seemed to enjoy this type of entertainment/ watching people fight.

    01 – Back in an EAAS meeting room and my avatar is an invisible human form, but carries a strong energetic field. This field could be detected by the room security and I had to spend time finding ways to hide the energy field of my avatar with yet another energy overlay. I felt “on guard” most of the time and in fear of being “seen” although I do not seem to have been discovered while I was visiting or spying at these meetings. I feel I actually stole some secrets – and it also feels like I was hired to spy for a competing group / maybe a double agent, as I look around the room and see alien creatures in disguise. We do not alert each other to the fact that we are all spies.

    02 / 02B –Next – I see an avatar that looks like a human body with all of the flesh stripped off of it. It looks very gross and scary and I am trying to understand what this is. As I drill into it – which took some time- I see myself being able to pull / duplicate the skin of another person, copy their complete look and pretend to be them as a body double ( not clone)– versus jumping into them as a spy. I then thought again about the scans done at the meetings to see if people were inside who they really looked like outside, and thought it best to avoid the meetings. Regardless- I was able to accomplish quite a bit a as a double, get information as well as sabotage the original person’s work to slow down the project or get them in trouble.
    Regarding spying on me – I keep seeing people giving me gifts, trinkets, strange handshakes / hugs that transferred data, or had implant spies in them. This make me feel very betrayed and sad and that I spent/wasted alot of time and effort trying to help these people

    03 – Very quickly I felt like I could switch genders instantly and that my appearance did not dictate a gender, but more of a need to switch the gender energy for cooperation and a need to pretend to model an expected behavior. Next I felt like I would disguise myself as a “temptation” of the day, as a means to secure someone’s confidence. This could be a member of the opposite sex or even a food or money.

    04 – I connected to a need to keep my avatar spies/ costumes “clean”, since as they/we went out into the world, we would pick up contamination or AI bugs that I had to get out. I can see myself wiping down, cleaning, scanning, decontaminating them and it also seemed I had a way then to analyze this debris and understand its initiatives

19. Rose
    March 11, 2016 @ 9:06 am

    I see and experience myself as designing and creating and testing VRs now. It is as if I was moved deeper into ‘what I was involved in originally’ and to ‘behind the scene(s)’ – of VRs, how to make them, how they work, how to make them convincing enough etc.

    I have been in a ‘geometry blast’ the last days and have seen of all kinds of geometric grids, deep 3D spaces filled up by ‘tessellated’ or 3D ’tiled’ networks and webs, either overlaying whatever else I was experiencing or looking at, or I have found myself ‘in’ huge spaces like that, consciousness and sensory wise, while feeling it to be VR.

    While feeling drawn to look at and read about a lot of stuff like that, some of which also overlapped with things like ‘Hinduism/Buddhism philosophy’, which I have been in a lot lately (i.e. the hidden or ‘dark’ agendas of it) like some of these ‘Indra’s (Hindu god) Net images, depicting ‘axis mundi/world axis’ and the interconnectedness of the universe’ stuff:

    https://www.google.dk/search?q=Indra%27s+net&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjzj-SjiLjLAhUhMJoKHVqsCucQ_AUIBygB&biw=1366&bih=603#imgrc=_

    I have also had glimpses of feeling it as if I have lots of VRs ‘built into myself’ and experienced myself again very strongly as if I ‘am’ a huge computer system with every little area of myself covering a certain ‘area’, like a gigantic ‘machinery’, or at least have lots of technologies like that installed in me, so it feels as if there is no real difference between ‘myself’ and all the computer tech.

    Which made me think of all the years where my energy system would react if sometime happened with my computer, when it froze or freaked, and vice versa, when I was energetically attacked or had strong triggers, my computer would ‘react’ simultaneously, and it felt as if ‘we’ were very connected. I have lived very low tech in this life, so it wasn’t because I was deeply involved in computer programming or other tech stuff, or ‘wanted that’, but a strong ‘representation of something’.

    And I was in a lot of ‘tree of life/knowledge’ stuff again, this time feeling it very connected to all this stuff also.

    All of this has then moved more and more towards experiencing it as ‘the structures behind everything in a VR and the VR itself’ and the ‘fundamental building blocks’ (a very strong element in my former, pre-wsw ‘mission obsession work’, drawings, sketches, ‘formulas’ etc, which now suddenly feel as if they could ‘belong to this’).

    When I doing this focus now, I experienced myself ‘entering’ a very primitive grid line person avatar of this type:

    http://blenderartists.org/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=355422&stc=1&d=1421183482

    And experience myself moving around in it, both experiencing form within the VR environment, which is just an ’empty space’ at this point, with this ‘figure’ in it, and also see and feel like myself sitting ‘outside’, in front of a computer, just like I am now. Right now when typing this, it almsot looks as if my computer screen is the VR – ‘behind the written text and normal computer screen set up’. I can ‘see’ and feel the 3D grid space stretching out from the screen.

    I am studying and experimenting with this avatar figure which has my own ‘consciousness’, pulling in the lines that defies it, to change it’s shape to become as I want it. But isn’t so ‘fully immersed’ that I can’t experience my ‘real self outside’.

    It suddenly feels very much as if the many many hours I have drawn after live model (and I was an art school model for many years myself), and learned so much about how the body behaves, looks, feels in various potions, movements etc, has been a representation of something similar to this computer VR experimentation.

    https://www.google.dk/search?q=grid+line+human+figure&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj94eOBkrjLAhWodpoKHe5aDw4Q_AUIBygB&biw=1366&bih=634#tbm=isch&q=line+human+figure&imgrc=_

    Again it feels very ‘fundamental’ or as the basics underneath all the details that will be added ‘later’.

    I then experience myself ‘travelling along the grid’s lines’ which look like some of these ‘icosahedral honeycombs’

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icosahedral_honeycomb

    while there are people in the VR space, and I can watch everything in there and move freely around all objects, people etc, while me outside is ‘taking notes’, ‘try out new things’, ‘make adjustments’. And I feel that I am working with a group of people who have volunteered to be ‘test persons’ for this project.

    I then search on the internet for things like “How to make virtual reality”, which I have never had any interest in until right now, and land on pages with images like this one:

    “A virtual reality unit that allows the user to move freely in any direction”

    http://s.hswstatic.com/gif/virtual-reality-4.jpg

    Which sort of ‘confirms’ my ‘geometric experiences’.

    And pages like this one, whihc has a recipe for creating computer characters, and it looks exactly like what I ‘saw’ myself doing during the focus. And again, I have never done anything like this on a computer in this life, but I have done it lots in drawing and also in sculpting after live model, in ‘facets’ (for lack of a better term), like these characters are created also.

    http://cgi.tutsplus.com/tutorials/creating-a-warrior-character-part-2–cg-11516

    I had been around M. C. Escher yesterday too and while looking at works like this one, had thought and felt: this looks very VR’ish, without it being really clear to me ‘how’:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hand_with_Reflecting_Sphere#/media/File:Hand_with_Reflecting_Sphere.jpg

    But I also landed on pages about ‘spherical photos’ in virtual reality, and recipes for creating very ‘immersive experiences’ and VR viewers with very cheap cardboard kits and android apps, and ‘Google Photo Sphere’.

    ————

    It hasn’t been that easy to write this down and my mind has gotten exceedingly foggy and energies have become kind of nasty. But it really feels as if things are opening now for me, as if I have been moved further and further ‘backwards’ through a lot of interconnected and overlapping areas and topics, and then the expereinces of what I did originally and the technologies I had and what was done to destroy me and it or to steal my work.

    Until very recently the whole concept of ‘VR’ has been pretty abstract to me in many ways or not something I could really relate to (in a personal way) or ‘feel’. Which now feels as if that is something that was done deliberately to me, to not have me ‘remember’ or ‘know’ anything about what I was involved in originally.

    But in the last weeks I have spent a lot of time in what ‘feels like VR’, and I didn’t ‘know what VR feels like’, not until I actually felt it, which is a big part of my way of understanding things on a deeper level, too ‘feel’ it. And now it just seems to me that I must have worked with and in VR lots. And the experiences I have tried to describe here, feel like ‘soul purpose’, like some of the things I was ‘made for’ doing. So something must really be clearing or opening now, for this to get accessible for me.

20. Trent
    January 15, 2017 @ 5:24 am

    I’ve started to get more / consistent visuals when using focuses, so yesterday I was targeting any ‘security’ components that were active / contributing in the slightest to anything of my experience, and started to connect to some components (relevant to this experience was a white vaguely-egg-shaped component that I called a ‘cocoon’) which I started to explore / try to figure out what it does, when I realized that since there was only one of these that had presented itself, I should target any ‘more’ of these.

    I connect to many of these cocoons, and despite that I knew that I was already engaging with all of these at once, I briefly held the intention / desire to connect with all of these ‘individually’ at the same time, when I started to ‘automatically’ create copies / splits of myself (given what I was targeting at the time, I believe what I was splitting was a VR avatar that I used while working on the sim project).

    These ‘splits’ allowed me to be in multiple places at once / to do multiple things at the same time, and were part of my ‘awareness’ though they seemed to have a lower priority / less of my focus / attention given to them (I was able to see what the others were seeing and control what they were doing, etc though the experiences of these were in the ‘background’ compared to my primary avatar). I was able to look around from my ‘primary focus’ avatar and view the others, and with intention I could swap to any of the splits at will, which then became the primary avatar and the previous one went into the background.

    Not sure if these have been mentioned before / I know you’ve mentioned multi-viewpoint avatars, but i’m not sure if they’re the same.

    Trent