"Earth as a Simulation Series 3: 'IF' we are living in a Simulation, how would Simulated 'COPIED' People+Environmental Components be 'CHECKED' for both Accuracy & Anomalies? Is it possible to DIRECTLY access the pre-defined SCRIPTED data files of 'Testing & Checking' Experiences to Accumulate Evidence of VR Experiences & DETAILS of the Simulation Projects Working & VR 'TEST' Environments? This Series Presents Articles & Exercises Exploring these Possibilities. 'UPDATE', to all questions posed here, the answer is 'YES'!!!"
Main Page Headings List
- How to make sure that Simulated Copied People are Simulated VERY Accurately as Copies!!!
- Making Sure that Simulated Copied People Don't Become Aware they are Simulated Copied People
- Preventing Simulated Copied People From Accessing The TESTING of THEMSELVES as being 'Accurate' Simulated Copies of Someone ELSE
- 'Simulation' Exploration Exercises Introduction Common to ALL Simulation Targeting 'Exercise' Pages . . .
- Accessing VR Networks & High Technology Originated & Facilitated Experiences Directly
- The Simulation Software 'Obviously' WON'T LIKE People Accessing these Experiences
- 4. Engaging with Specific Details of ANY Copied People Simulation Project VR Accuracy Checking Experiences
Initially the title and the ‘focus’ of this exercise was: Engaging with Specific Details of My EAAS Project Department VR Work Experiences and the first versions of this exercise was written to engage with EAAS project VR experiences. As part of this and because I’ve a lot of comments on previous ‘exercise’ pages indicating that pretty much everyone working on the EAAS project spent time checking the accuracy of all different combinations of ‘everything’ that would be presented in the final finished ‘simulation’ version then I was trying to THINK of what different people be ‘checking’ out so that I could include these possibilities in the exercise.
How to make sure that Simulated Copied People are Simulated VERY Accurately as Copies!!!
So, for this ‘exercise’ I was specifically trying to think of and become aware of the range and scale of experiences that those working on this project would have as part of ‘testing and checking’ the accuracy and ‘integrity’ of the simulation software as it was at any particular point in time. However, as I have already mentioned in a comment this proved extremely difficult, the management applied to myself while trying to write this exercise was immense. I was basically being very strongly prevented from thinking about ‘simulation, copied people, copied reality’ basics.
Basically, if you are putting together a ‘serious’ simulation then you will want to have absolutely everything or as much as possible of ‘everything’ in your simulation matching up as accurately as possible with the original environment / environments and more importantly you will want to have each simulated person living out an accurate copy of the life of the person they are simulating.
In you HAVING TO HAVE each person living out the life of someone else ‘accurately’ then the most important thing to CHECK FOR (for each simulated person) is that they ARE ‘ACCURATELY’ LIVING OUT the life of the person they are simulating AND this will be particularly checked for important, defining events, circumstances and particularly those involving interactions with others. If these ‘defining’ time points are not done absolutely properly for individuals then such ‘errors’ in causing specific people to be living more and more ‘off script’ which may result in an ‘off script’ cascade and that would push or pull others ‘off their script’ too. Because of this then a great deal of efforts will be expended to ensure that the simulation software is good enough to ‘manage’ people to basically force them to live out a pre-determined life while ALSO, ensuring that this is done with enough ‘finesse / nuance’ to prevent the simulated person from becoming suspicious that THEY ARE LIVING OUT A FIXED PRE-DETERMINED LIFE.
So, as the above is very important then it was likely a condition of those working on such a project that they themselves will be required to merge with and check the accuracy of the simulated experiences of a ‘TEST’ version of themselves and particularly as this version of themselves is being simulated as accurately as possible living through likely many ‘important and or defining’ events, circumstances and or meetings with others that are part of your own past history.
As it is IMPERATIVE that people don’t realise that they are simulated copies of someone else living out someone else’s life then the simulations ‘keep the simulation safe from discovery’ management software would be written to absolutely prevent any copied person in the simulation from even ‘imagining’ simulated people possibilities never mind actually spending time THINKING about this or worse accessing yourself AS THE PERSON YOU ARE SIMULATING, CHECKING OUT THE ACCURACY OF YOUR OWN SIMULATED SELF / VERSION.
Making Sure that Simulated Copied People Don’t Become Aware they are Simulated Copied People
Now as this ‘managing’ software will LIKELY be making your head go more and more blank as you are reading this page then I’ll point out the obvious . . . .
These test / checking runs of versions of ‘yourself’ will have also been used to test how good the ‘keep the simulation safe from discovery’ management software actually was. So, the people working on any simulation project will have been specifically ‘checking’ to see if any particularly version or themselves was ‘suspicious’ about how it’s life was unfolding and or how objective were it’s evaluations, choices and decisions and ALSO how was it reacting to the AMAZINGLY impossible to avoid being noticed coincidences and synchronicity that seem to ‘somehow’ magically direct itself to specific events and to meet specific people.
So, here I am writing an exercise to have you as the simulated version of ‘someone’ engage with the person you are simulating and it’s experiences in the original simulation test VR environment engaging with a version of you living out some part of your life while this test version is ITSELF being subjected to specific managing software to ensure that it cannot ever become suspicious about it’s life being directed . . . while coincidentally the exact same managing software will be having a FIT now even just of the POSSIBILITY of yourself doing this exercise because it will be desperate to keep hidden these experiences.
Preventing Simulated Copied People From Accessing The TESTING of THEMSELVES as being ‘Accurate’ Simulated Copies of Someone ELSE
In other words, this exercise/focus is ANY copied peoples simulation project’s biggest nightmare.
Which means that it is also the exercise that has the potential to:
- Reveal the most and . . .
- Also, activate the worst management AND even better ’emergency’ management that so far it’s been keeping in reserve.
So, in any ’emergency’ management shit being allowed to ‘come out to play’, we can then start to investigate it, it’s functioning AND start to back it into a corner and then eventually delete it (or re-task it).
I’ve had Tom and Matt working with an earlier versions of this focus for a few days to start to hack and ‘break’ this new level of management (which is why my site traffic has come back up after a couple of abysmal days).
Also, I know of other VR projects working to render accurate copies of people in the original population so this focus is not specifically targeting EAAS experience, it does, but it will also have anyone doing this focus engaged with an simulation or VR running copies of people.
EAAS project people (Someone here that is simulating someone that worked on the EAAS project): Nyssa, Mo, Annabelle, Trent, Nina, Michel L, Rup, Jen, Cheryl, Mary, Melissa, Hasani, Radu, Jean C, Mia (from these that have left comments here in the last 6 months), then there are others that already know the are EAAS workers including Tom, Kay, Matt, Rose, Elena, Christian, Trish and others AND about three quarters of all those that signed up for the automated absent healing service AAHS are simulating someone that worked on the EAAS project too . . . and about half those that expressed interest in the AAHS but didn’t sign up are also simulating someone that worked for the EAAS project.
So, this specific exercise is ‘focused’ on having you engage with or merging with yourself and the experience of you simulating someone that actually merged with a simulated version of yourself as part of checking how accurate the simulated version of yourself would be in the simulation. It is possible that this will be the hardest exercise / focus yet and that just reading this page to here you’ll likely experience massive put off’s!!! However, each person doing this will help us to understand and disable more of the managing strategies responsible for these effects.
PLEASE NOTE —> ‘IF’ you have not read it already on any previous ‘exercise’ page, then please read ALL of the open:
“‘Exercise’ Instructions & Copyright Statement – READ THIS ‘NOW’“ ‘accordion’ below . . .
AND, read this before working with any ‘simulation’ experience targeting exercise: because it explains:
- How you have to approach working with these exercises (to maximise success) AND . . .
- That you are ‘Bound’ by certain conditions AND . . .
- That you are also given certain warnings with respect to you ‘yourself’ working with these exercises . . .
In other words reading what is immediately below IS IMPORTANT, however, ‘IF’ you have ALREADY read these warnings etc on another exercise page then CLICK on the accordion TAB immediately below to close it as this will save you having to scroll down the page to reach and work with the ‘exercise’!!!
-
‘Simulation’ Exploration Exercises Introduction Common to ALL Simulation Targeting ‘Exercise’ Pages . . .
“‘IF’ we are being simulated then is it possible to get direct access to the original experiences of specific enhancements that are encoded in your script?”
Well, as I’ve already done this and have then defined and refined means to do this and the answer to the above is a resounding ‘YES’.
I’ve also had specific people work with these exercises / perceptual, experience ‘focusing’ protocols that have got access to entire (and I do mean ENTIRE) scripted internal VR environments as well as very coherent access to scripted ‘functional’ experiences of various scripted enhancements and implants too.
Accessing VR Networks & High Technology Originated & Facilitated Experiences Directly
Being able to gain access to very coherent scripted experiences is particularly the case when you are simulating someone that as part of either their job or their personal interests (eg VR games playing) had them engaging with a virtual reality network and or making use of various technological enhancements or implants pretty much ALL THE TIME.
In other words specific people here will be simulating someone that spends a substantial chunk of their REGULAR time immersed in high technology originated experiences. In some cases this is in enough detail that they can even recall their passwords enabling them to then access extremely interesting (scripted in great detail) administration VR areas including access to whatever specific VR project the person they are simulating worked on. This has allowed ourselves to directly access scripted VR experiences of specific earth simulation project software departments in fine detail.
The Simulation Software ‘Obviously’ WON’T LIKE People Accessing these Experiences
In efforts to avoid having people access these anomalous scripted experiences DIRECTLY, the simulation software relies on keeping people disengaged from everything of themselves that is ‘worrying’ from the simulation projects: objectives, ‘consensus’ reality and the ‘generic humans’ range of experiences point of view. The software basically keeps you locked into a bubble of ‘normal’ human functioning and a managed ‘consensus’ reality view point AND more importantly it relies on stopping you from even becoming aware of any ‘out of bounds’ possibilities as in ‘extra’ enhancements and or abilities (or what these experiences imply). It relies on this ‘awareness and investigation’ disengagement tactic to severely suppresses you from even becoming aware of never mind of THINKING about trying to access never mind of allowing you to actually ‘understanding’ of any scripted ‘extras’ you might have. The more any scripted experiences are anomalous compared to what is considered ‘conceptually’ and in ‘consensus reality’ terms ‘normal’ for an ‘alleged’ real human the more effort the simulation will make to keep you disengaged from them.
Unfortunately for the simulation software, if you give this tactic ‘THE BIG FINGER’ and ‘go for it’ then at least for some people they can find themselves gaining access to all sorts of things that were being kept beyond their awareness or of what they considered possible . . . I should point out that in ‘playing’ with these exercises then the software will likely tag you as ‘dangerous’ and you can expect it’ll try and find ways to distract you, make this web site and your experiences gained here fade away from your memory faster that usual while keeping you busy and occupied elsewhere . . . and so on . . . this is just it’s standard operating protocol (SOP) for worrying people. I’ve personally been giving it ‘THE BIG FINGER’ for over a decade now!!!
To make it very clear . . . despite that the worst anyone has experienced pushing against the simulation in these ways is some temporary ‘weird’ experiences that have faded out after a few minutes or hours . . .
You use/work with the below . .
Entirely at your own risk
‘IF’ you do decide to ‘go for it’ then work with the below when you have some hours to spare, so if anything ‘extra’ weird and or disturbing happens you have some time to recover / wait for it to fade out (before you have to do things like ‘drive’).
So, if you want to explore these areas then work with the ‘statement of intent’ presented below, BUT first you read the following . . . .
COPYRIGHT: The below is all Copyright, all rights reserved Clive S Hetherington 2015 and on. The exercises’, the ‘focuses’ the statements of intent (SOI) STAY on this site and you don’t copy what is below to present on another site, I have made my copyright very clear that I don’t want ENTIRE sections taken from this site and presented somewhere else. I don’t mind a paragraph or two as an ‘opener’ BUT no more than 20% (this is stated and has been stated for years in my Legal page (the link is in the very top menu way above)). This is specifically the case for this page BECAUSE I’m wanting COMMENTS of feedback from people working with this page to help myself and in fact everyone interested in what I’m presenting here to IMPROVE our understandings of WTF is going on!!!!
INSTRUCTIONS: As you read the ‘statements of intent’ then you state ‘with intention’ what you read internally with a directed will of ‘I WANT THIS / This is what I WANT!!!’ while simultaneously keeping your inner awareness / senses alert and ‘still’ to give yourself the best chance of becoming aware of anything that the focus reveals / gives you direct access too.
This ‘does’ take practice, I ‘started’ to spend time trying to become aware of my internal states and inner perceptions three and a half decades ago.
Click on the ‘purple’ – ‘4: Engaging with Copied People VR Accuracy Checking Experiences’ accordion below to open, read and work with this focus / exercise . . .
AND . . . of course if you DO experience ANYTHING while using the above then you give us a comprehensive description as a comment below . . .
Click the right >> link below for the next page in this series . .
Rose
February 9, 2016 @ 7:45 pm
00 – I see many of versions of myself playing out ‘therapeutic situations’. And remember how I two days ago stated wondering about therapies like ‘Family Constellation’, ‘Psychodrama’ and others , where people play out situations, conflicts, psychological or emotional issues and interaction between each other, to learn from the dynamics in it, and ‘uncover deeper issues’, whether those could actually represent VR therapy situations.
It is very difficult to write this, write anything, and I have very strong pressure on and in the head.
01 – I feel a set up where each of the several ‘versions’ represent or play out ‘certain aspects’ (as part of their (my own, I assume) general ‘life story’ , similar to for example ‘archetypes in the psyche/subconscious, or ‘archetypal symbolic presentations’.
02 – I feel very ‘wrong’ now, and as if ‘I am doing this wrong’ (as if I have ‘missed the whole point of this exercise’ and ‘my experiences aren’t valid here’).
While seeing all the ‘aspect people’ shape into more whole ‘persons/people’, who then each have very specific combinations of psychological, emotional, intellectual etc aspects, psyche, dynamics, issues, behaviours, traits, attributes etc.
While typing this now from my notes for the comment I realise that “oh no, this is all about myself!” and get feelings of ‘being an ego maniac’ and feel ‘shame’ and that I shouldn’t post this. While at the same time thinking, “well, that’s a pretty good idea, then I really know what I am working with”, and feel this to be some kind of ‘inner discussion’ I had while working on this project, and that the ‘doubt/wrong’ track is made by others to undermine my confidence, and try to make me feel insecure about my own work.
03 – I see and feel and experience all these ‘version people’ interacting in all kinds of ways. While I am connected to all of them and get constant input and lots of different kinds of feedback, so that I can explore (in great detail) how all interaction, reactions, feelings, conflicts, problems, solutions, different stances, attractions, repulsions etc impact all of them all the time, individually and as temporary or more permanent ‘groups’, forming and dissolving around certain topics, areas, situations.
I feel it as if I have technology inside of me that is processing all this, like a huge ‘computer system’, and make it possible for me to experience all this simultaneously and notice any discrepancies or flaws or things that don’t add up or cause the unfolding of all this to not run smoothly.
04 – I am in an ‘editing room’ now, like a ‘film cutter’ running all the ‘scenarios’ and ‘interactions’ looking for ‘things that need to be checked again or remade’, and examining all the details that need to be adjusted so that things can run smoothly and natural’ so that no one will notice anything or get suspicious. Make the whole things totally ‘convincing’.
I can ‘rewind’ the whole thing and watch any given sequence in great detail in a kind of 3D’ish way and in ‘slow motion’ or a lot of other revealing mode, while feeling into all of it.
And where all the problem areas get tagged in different ways (different colour codes for example), so that I can get a large overview and go in and edit while all the players are still in play (in the situation, feelings etc). And experiment with different options and outcomes, so that I can make sure than any new change or addition or subtraction won’t distort or disturb everything else though ripple effect.
05 – I experience and explore everything that is going on in the whole set up while seeing and experiencing the different areas/functions of my brain, that things are connected or relate to, like things that would translate as ‘brain chemistry’ or ’emotional hormone excretion functions’ or ‘never synapses’ (my mind went completely blank half way through thinking ‘synapses’ as and everything froze for some moments, before I could remember the other half or the word or how to be able to write it down in my notes).
I then feel myself working with all these people/version effortlessly, and I can just slide into them like an ‘overlay’ and experience and feel everything that is going on inside each of them on all levels, while also seeing and feeling all their connection or ‘interaction energetic lines’ among them, and ‘sequences in the right time and chronology’ – how things are going to play out in their future (also among them) or in their ‘now’ or in the past, if they should choose to turn their attention to that. (I started watching the “Paradox” series about ‘changing the future’ last night, it fits well).
06 – I experience myself now trying out several different ‘takes’ of the same types of interaction or situations, lie a film director shooting the same scene many times, and changing details in the script or adding or deleting material or entering or removing certain players or ‘extras’ or highlight something else, or even have the actors ‘improvise’ (and me feeling into ‘how would someone in a situation like this behave, so it feels more right – like an adjustment to the script to make it fit better). And general experiments with different options.
I see large ‘libraries’ with all these different variations and ‘takes’.
07 – I feel strong fear and nausea while reading through this paragraph, and feel it as if I myself had started to feel suspicious and uncomfortable and had begun asking (critical) questions, and had been met with a hostile attitude and rejection, which totally collides with the way this whole project had been presented as – an open and creative environment to work freely in etc.
It makes me feel that I have actually been mapping enormous amounts of details around people’s inner workings and their interactions with others, and that all this material can be used to seriously manipulate others with, large scale also.
And I then feel that all my work is being taken from me.
08 – I now have running ‘memory loss’ as I read though the paragraphs (many times each in order to try to remember what is in them), but have no idea what was in the previous sentence, and I get blank spots in my consciousness/mind.
I feel that if I hadn’t made notes to each part of this exercise, at this point I would have no idea what I have been experiencing and feeling and thinking earlier. Or I ‘have no idea’, only a stack of notes. I had to go back and read the headline of the exercise in order to ‘remember’. It was only in this last part, I lost the memory.
All the way through this exercise I have been in a state of feeling strong urgency to ‘try and make it all the way through’ as if I couldn’t be sure that would be possible. And it has felt as if ‘lots could go wrong’ and ‘the chance of succeeding could be lost any moment’.
And I feel it as if I had been working secretly to copy as much of this work as possible. While typing that now I feel it as if I try to flee or escape, but I am not sure I make it.
Writing this comment felt like a totally overwhelming project before I started. And I watched how large parts were being removed form my brain, which looks like the super computer, and it looks as if those parts are ‘hard drives’ and ‘memory cards’ and the like. And all sort of of advanced VR technology, I can see lots of tech inside my eyes bulbs and retina and other areas now.
I have had a bunch of experiences feeling more as a ‘super computer’ than a ‘person’ over the last couple of months, but it has felt good and fun and creative – and my personality was still there and intact. It doesn’t feel good now though, and has gotten exceedingly difficult to type and think while writing this comment and feeling more and more ‘erratic’ or rather as if I was loosing more and more control over my whole system. And at one point I started shaking and shivering inside and my movements feel so incoherent and dysfunctional that it feels as if my motor units and many other functions have been short circuited. I also feel ‘nausea’ and fear and a ‘chemical’ feeling energy/body dysfunction or that I have been ‘injected with something toxic’. I was feeling pretty OK before seeing or doing the new exercise. Now it feels as if I have ‘shock’ in the whole system and as if it is very old.
It feels as if posting this will be a huge and demanding ‘challenge’.
Clive
February 9, 2016 @ 9:53 pm
Actually Rose, this is very coherent and readable with virtually no writing errors – so ‘great’ effort.
What you describe in terms of engaging with versions is of your own extensive VR ‘people’ research, and yea this was likely ‘stolen’ to be used for the EAAS project.
Trent
February 9, 2016 @ 8:29 pm
06 – It took me about 5 tries before I could get through this. Once I finally did I had a feeling of ‘relief’ and then it felt as if something ‘clicked into place’ and I was hit with orgasmic/pleasure feelings which were followed by ‘waves’ of energy which went right throughout my body and had my body tingling with goosebumps.
The experience then moves to my head, and I experience ‘energy shifts’ that feel as if my ‘head space’ is being ‘restructured’ in some way. I get the impression that i’m not ‘ready’ for this experience.. I allow these ‘shifts’ to continue for around 10 minutes, but it feels as if i’d have to spend a few hours with it before i’d get anything ‘significant’, so I move on..
–
07 – I’m ‘jolted’ by a feeling of ‘pride/honour’ (not sure how to describe it) and the words “doing my job”. I linked this to ‘military’ type personnel who might feel a similar way about, for example, ‘killing people’ as part of their job.
I continue to ‘feel this out’, expecting to uncover something like ‘sadness/betrayal/etc’ but instead I start ‘laughing’. I ask “Huh? Why the laugh?” and a voice responds “You knew what you were doing”.
Clive
February 9, 2016 @ 9:56 pm
Hi Trent, this feels like it’s part of some other copied people VR research project, likely before the time of the EAAS project and very likely connected to a project with military objectives. If it is military connected, then it’ll likely be harder to engage with / become aware of too!!!
Trent
February 9, 2016 @ 10:15 pm
My family does have military history (WW2, Vietnam) and my grandfather was encouraging me for a while to join. I’ve seriously considered it a few times but never went through with it, so yeah there could be ‘something’ there. Cheers
Trent
February 9, 2016 @ 10:49 pm
In re-reading my comment, I see myself from a 3rd-person perspective and i’m ‘watching’ what I experienced earlier. It feels like these ‘orgasmic feelings’ and ‘energy shifts’ could be related to how I felt when interfaced to the/a VR environment.
What I ‘expected’ to happen IF I spent longer with the earlier experience is that i’d find myself in immersive ‘scenes’ akin to some of my ‘meditation’ experiences a few years ago – scenes/environments which were ‘almost’ indistinguishable from ‘real’ reality, and my ‘real world’ awareness would be ‘blanked’ at the same time (i’d even forget that I was ‘meditating’ when experiencing these) – that’s why I felt that it’d take at least a few hours to get anywhere with it (should’ve mentioned that).
Clive
February 9, 2016 @ 10:57 pm
Trent – try and get/watch ‘Harsh Realm’ a series about a military VR originally used for training. So yea the military would set up ‘real’ simulations and VR for training and to ‘simulate’ battles.
Trent
February 10, 2016 @ 2:13 pm
Have you seen the movie ‘Edge of Tomorrow’ and could this be something similar? I was ‘obsessed’ with that movie for a while and watched it over and over again.
Clive
February 10, 2016 @ 2:40 pm
The synopsis on Amazon of ‘Edge of Tomorrow’:
So, substitute ‘time loop’ for ‘this is a VR / simulation’ and this is EXACTLY why the military would want to be able to run very accurate VR simulations – to figure out how to beat an unbeatable ‘alien’ race – which also fits in with the physical con too.
So, this is ‘likely’ what the person you are simulating worked on / or maybe even trained in. Remember I said that you’ve characteristics of being interfaced to a robot / cyborg? This is what the military would end up developing (as part of fighting (in the deliberately engineered as weak simulated human body) impossible to defeat ‘aliens’ in an accurate simulation) first, because to fight some ‘aliens’ then being a robot / cyborg would be the only way you’d defeat them.
So, rather than fight these aliens in the ‘real’ world you do this in a VR environment with uploaded versions of your people AND the alien people being simulated accurately, then in any battle / fight only the avatar dies. You then can work on what modifications you need to apply to the human to defeat that alien type. Then you run it with the modified human avatar, until the avatar dies and you keep doing this until you defeat the alien in the simulation. You then modify ‘real’ humans to send them into battle against these aliens.
Nyssa
February 9, 2016 @ 9:02 pm
This part cracked me up:
Like the perfect recursive mind-blowing philosophical “thought experiment” statement. It’s fun just to read it and feel my mind loop through the statements to come to the final conclusion.
mm and once I get the statement of what you describe formed as a picture in my mind.
Clive
February 9, 2016 @ 10:05 pm
I had to triple check the quote part to make sure I got it right, yea the ultimate recursive mind loop.
Annabelle
February 10, 2016 @ 6:06 am
Just prior to seeing this, I happened to be re-reading the section on Managed Thinking. For whatever reason the exercise came very easy. I also made a point to not read any other comments. At times I had to get up and walk around to clear my head to be able to get thru various sections.
00 – Saw a family tree on a bulletin board with many versions of me holding my arms around families. A lot of these family groups were crying and I am very sad to see what is happening to these people, as they are bound / confined forever to their scripts. They seem to know something if “off – the world is not as it should be”. I have a bottle of glue and and get the message that “some simulated families will be weak and you are responsible for holding them together”. I am gluing photos onto this family tree and am very tired during this work.
Next a cobbler sitting at a workbench but instead of shoe he has a big egg – about 10 inches tall. The egg is in a vice grips. He is very carefully trying to chisel a crack in the top of the egg to get the shell off. The first shell layer comes off and there is an identical shell layer under it. He continues to work thru what appear to be infinite shell layers.
01 – I am in front of a computer workstation and I see many families that I am charge of. I am able to jump into various family roles from different families, as well as different time periods, all at the same time. I jump into what seems to be a lot of women and track what they are doing. I toggle thru various life times that are different – but close enough that I can manage them all at once. I see myself as pioneer women, leading a horse drawn wagon train, thru a sweltering dusty trail. For some reason I feel very comfortable with this image and this type of hard work.
There is some DDS of dreams of different places and lives that I have never seen.
“Multi view point” – cookie cutter paper children shapes appear holding hands – like what we used to cut out in school. I am in charge of many groups of family types – traditional woman and man, orphans, singles, etc. I very easily notice thought pattern changes and mood shifts (even in this life)
02 / 03 – the information is coming very fast and the sections seem to be pre-reading themselves. “Run copies of people” – some aspects the project are going too fast. I have a box full of gold keys that I can use to control and monitor the integrity of different environments. I am assigned a lot of areas and many families and it is hard to keep up. I have to let some people run on auto-pilot while I tackle the people that are off course the most. At times I have to jump into certain family members, trouble shoot and download corrections, and /or make a sudden dangerous correction – this could include injury or death. I asked why it would come to death and I was told” they started to remember too much”. I felt like I degraded visual accuracy a lot to cover up anomalies.
Now I see subtle beings come in while I am managing a family or person, and they over ride my ability to manage them and demanded the return of the person. We sometimes decide to give the body / person / being back.
04 – I see a tornado swirling around a room / environment and collecting data as it whisks by objects and scenes. The tornado turns into player-piano music rolls, and the data is captured and this can be played backward and forward over and over for verification.
05 – I am an artist sitting at an easel, and am painting a beautiful picture of a meadow scene, as they remind me “you can’t test it if you can’t design it”
06 – As I walk around various environments, I am taking snapshots with my eyes and then go into a room full of file cabinets and compare my real time eye snap shots with the plan. Alot of DDS comes in regarding current world examples.
I am then sitting around a round craft table with many versions of myself. We are all working on a scrapbook and have a full supply of every art supply you can imagine. The scrapbook contains many life lines for all of “my” versions of myself, and we are mutually deciding what sticker, activity, color, etc. to put on each page. We agree on alot buy my main self has to push them (copies of me) to agree to harder timelines.
07 – I am ashamed that I agreed to cooperate to save versions of myself going forward. I felt I could still go along and help, and then later try to covertly unravel this mess. When all was said and done, we never did get the bonuses and gifts and better lives we were promised.
Next I am running around checking closets and drawers to see if I can find any items / evidence that don’t make sense regarding what I was told about the project. I took some exceptions to management and confronted them and felt sick and disappointed in them. I also felt bad that I did not confront them more aggressively. I was threatened with damage to my being, in all aspects of time and space, if I pursued challenging them about the goal of the project. Then I was shown pictorials of the torture and destruction that what would and did happen to people that did not comply. They told me “You can make your lives as difficult or easy as you want”.
Had to stop here for now.
Clive
February 10, 2016 @ 11:11 pm
Hi Annabelle, I get the impression from your comment that the person you are simulating was being deliberately massively over stretched, which in terms of giving people the space for ‘checking’ because this is to achieve ACCURACY with respect to the script / a persons data is ‘DAFT’ to say the least. So, it seems to me that this was about breaking you / the person you are simulating down?
Nina
February 10, 2016 @ 8:23 am
First try
I was immediately interrupted.
00 — Initially, I felt strong resistance in the second sentence. Eventually, images of the different times where I met with other EAAS colleagues via the virtual network flashed in my mind, but everything was fast forwarded too much so I could not see anything at all except for one scene where I was in some kind of white office room.
01 — I saw myself wearing an invisible avatar suit that allowed me to blend in with the VR environment I was in, as if I were a ghost and no one could see me. I was in a VR forest with a blue sky and white clouds and a log in front of me. The scenery felt like it came from a cartoon background and not from a “real reality”, so it was not believable even to myself.
As I’m typing notes, my dog barked — just as I expected. This was followed by my mom talking to someone outside my room. However, I didn’t expect my dog to keep barking for an extended period of time. NINA – ‘why’ are we having extended details of interruptions? I.e. Why are you basically delivering distractions / diversions from what these exercises are about in comments. I edited your first distracting ‘interruptions’ line above as an example of a none distracting ‘distractions’ description.
02 — The first sentence connected me to my original form checking out the dialogue of the copied people, making sure that their conversational style remained the same regardless of the culture they were put into or the language that they were using.
Next I saw myself in a hallway with many rooms. Each room had a signage with the label or name of the department. I entered a room that felt like the EAAS version of the theatre department. That room turned out to be a theatre box.
I sat in one of the seats and watched a scene from a play. The dialogue felt unnatural to me. I had difficulty believing it. Then I laughed as I remembered what felt like unnatural dialogue from the first episode of the Paradox series. I also began to remember more instances where I watched commercials or TV drama series and I felt that the special effects were not fooling me into believing that the reality being presented to me was real.
03 — “simulation project VR test environment” — I saw myself in a room with a lot of TV screens. A scene unfolded in front of me. Each screen showed different vantage points of the same scene on the TV screens.
I saw myself noticing lots of “wrong” stuff in the scenes. I began to have thoughts like: “The conflict between these two copied people (aka characters) feel too staged / manufactured — perhaps find ways to make the conflict unfold more naturally.” I began to feel as if I were a director making sure that an entire production (in this case, one lifetime) is working smoothly and according to plan.
“Particularly through time” — I think I was in charge of making sure that the objects being rendered at different historical time periods were accurate, meaning iPhones must not exist within a 17th century context.
“any type of body or Internal body part or organ” — I felt that I was in charge of making sure that the symbolic-to-physical translation of issues was working correctly. If someone had nasty betrayal issues, he’d eventually accumulate heart pain in old age. I also had a feeling that I checked if the costumes the copied people were wearing accurately matched the backdrop / context they were in and that they can move around properly. (I feel that my EAAS experiences are being translated into movie or theater terms and experiences.)
04 — In the first sentence, I saw myself holding a clipboard of someone’s original script while I watched one of his simulated lifetimes unfold on a TV screen. The next sentences began to trigger strong resistance. I re-did the paragraph, yet I got nothing despite feeling that this area is significant for me.
05 — I saw myself merging with an uploaded version of myself and allowing my version’s life events to unfold. My version spotted interactions that felt wrong or noticing events that should have not happened originally but are happening in its life. It noticed that some of the people around it were not acting according to its expectations or that the people themselves were out of character. It felt that the opportunities manifesting in its life was too good to be true and suspected that they were synchronised as part of a pre-defined script.
“Divergences or deviations…from script defined timeline” — I felt some resistance in this line.
06 — I felt very strong resistance in this paragraph. All I felt was that this paragraph explained why I kept repeating certain trauma or certain aspects of my life over and over again in this lifetime.
I saw different timelines in front of me — a single event in my simulated form’s life was being played out in different variations. Or rather, the circumstances engineered to reach a significant time point were different per timeline. As long as the circumstances felt convincing, any of the different timelines could work out with my simulated form.
The word “mismatched memories” trigger the strongest resistance. My mind went blank over that part.
07 — I felt I was part of an underground secret society composed of disgruntled EAAS workers. I felt the shock and horror when I finally realised what was really going on. The disappearances of some EAAS colleagues made sense to me now, as well as the changes in the staff of some departments and the changes in how I’m supposed to do my work. I felt strong betrayal and anger that won’t express itself as I’m typing this, plus strong sense of guilt and remorse and self-blame for the imprisonment of some EAAS people who mattered to me. Yet I felt that I had to keep my real feelings hidden lest the “bad” ones notice that I have found out the truth. I felt the horror that I had subjected my versions and others’ versions to, as well as the shit alternate timelines our versions were living out. I felt that I could not undo my own work outright. But I could still drop hints that this reality is not real and warn some aware others of the earth’s real agenda even if I risked imprisonment.
The word “spy” came to mind — collecting data about the people inside and finding out the real workings of the EAAS project. Not much details came to mind except for the “journalist” cover that Clive mentioned in one of my comments.
08 — Overall, this paragraph triggers very strong resistance. The last sentence, in particular, made me feel that the sim can activate my writing implant so I’d manufacture distracting comments when I present my EAAS work experiences on Soul Healer.
Clive
February 10, 2016 @ 1:57 pm
NINA – ‘why’ are we having extended details of interruptions? I.e. Why are you basically delivering distractions / diversions from what these exercises are about in comments. I edited your first distracting ‘interruptions’ line above as an example of a none distracting ‘distractions’ description.
Nina
February 12, 2016 @ 2:20 pm
Sorry, Clive. I am becoming aware of my subconscious tendency to entertain people with my writing just now. I felt some uncertainty about the distracting lines lest they turn out to be irrelevant, but when I asked myself why I did not heed my intuition, my mind went blank. All I could remember was that I was trying to predict the kind of DDS the simulation would use against me. Looking back, I realise I did not need to write down the DDS’s in my comment.
Annabelle
February 10, 2016 @ 3:22 pm
Hi Clive. I submitted a huge comment and it looks like you responded (piano roll) but the comment is missing. I hope it is not lost??
Clive
February 10, 2016 @ 5:46 pm
Hi Annabella, I replied to a comment to Nyssa that also described ‘piano roll’ so I’ve not ‘approved’ or replied to that comment of yours or another earlier comment by Nyssa because I’m still thinking about these AND I’m also extremely busy elsewhere too, there is a lot going on at the moment / this last two weeks. Basically, I may not get round to these comments till tomorrow now. ‘They are both LONG and to figure out the most for any comment I have to read through them multiple times with hours gap inbetween before I become aware of connections to things from ‘everything’ else before some / possibly many things get figured out . . . ‘things’ that ‘management’ would be very keen on me missing. In other words it can take 2/3 hours of actually time to reply ‘PROPERLY’ to the ‘decent’ comments I may get in a day. This is another reason why I sometimes just ‘delete’ trivial / casual / waste of time comments.
Nina
February 10, 2016 @ 3:24 pm
Second try
01 — I saw myself in a visible avatar that allowed me to correspond to different EAAS people simultaneously and enter the VR work spaces of different EAAS colleagues to interact with them.
02 — I felt that none of the technology I used was truly mine. I saw myself hopping from department to department to gather data that would be used in each EAAS person’s alternate timeline. I gained access to their life stories and to their behaviours, preferences — everything about them. It felt more like I was compiling the data that other EAAS workers had gathered. As a result, I felt that many people knew who I was and that I was pretty well-known because I had interacted with them.
04 — “If we’re all living out alternate scripts, how can we simulate ourselves accurately?” This felt like a paradox I often needed to resolve when writing the alternate scripts of the copied people. Overall, I still got nothing except mild pain and head blocks.
05 — I saw myself watching my rendered self feeling suspicious of events playing out in its life.
I did this paragraph again. I could not connect to anything except for a vague feeling that sometimes certain events in my life are “hijacked,” meaning someone else plays out certain parts of my life that I should be playing out originally in this life.
06 — I saw myself subjecting my rendered version to the same original trauma that I went through. It was painful to watch myself relive the trauma through my rendered form, but I was convinced that it was necessary to accurately simulate the trauma so that it can be dealt with correctly through the right therapy tools at the final rendered version of the simulation.
I also saw myself watching my life unfold itself through various time periods in the earth’s simulated history — having to repeat the same incidents, trauma, interactions, and significant life events albeit in different contexts and circumstances.
07 — I saw myself banging fists on a desk. I was not connected to the EAAS virtual workspace at all. I began to suspect that I was using a remote avatar to access the main EAAS headquarters. I felt that I had clandestine meetings with some EAAS people who felt suspicious about the real nature of the project.
I kept pushing to gain access to my real feelings. Eventually I felt some shortness of breath and some crying, but most feelings remained blocked off.
Moments later I felt extreme strong anger. I vented out by hitting my fists repeatedly on the bed mattress. I wanted revenge against the masterminds.
Rose
February 10, 2016 @ 8:40 pm
Doing the exercise the second time.
00 – I see a ‘family tree’ and feel it to be part of ‘exploring how things are passed down (or made to be?) between members, generations, ‘bloodlines” etc.
01 – It is like an ‘multi-avatar’ which is like the crown of a tree branching more and more out, and coming out of my head, or maybe it is technology connecting a lot of……parts of me, perhaps.
(I have been in lots of ‘tree’ and ‘world tree mythology’ as metaphors for actual things stuff recently).
02 – I am in a laboratory setting, where the ‘tree’ is being ‘surgically’ removed from me, and I am being milked for information with the use of ‘chemicals’. I see tubes and IV drops and cords plugged into me in lots of places.
(While typing this now, I feel so strong nausea I am almost throwing up).
I then experience myself being strapped to a contraption which looks like an old fashioned ‘electric chair’ (for execution), which is hooked up to what looks like a whole wall of mega computer systems and other technology and lots of measuring and monitoring apparatuses.
I feel that I am being forced or blackmailed to check the accuracy of a lot of ‘copy-clone versions’ of myself made as clones.
(Earlier today I had very strong and nasty energetic triggers where I felt it as if a lot of my ‘content’ was being drained or sucked out of me through the head, while feeling that ‘perhaps’ a lot of ‘copy versions’ had been made or cloned from me by others, who had experimented with combining ‘me’ with ‘other attributes’, to for example try to make me ‘more submissive’ or ‘easy’, while still preserving the qualities of me they wanted. And I had felt that they could have used these copies for things I would never have participated in myself.
Right after that I experienced myself in ‘super parallel’ while sitting in my chair eating something, and suddenly felt and ‘saw’ that there was more than one ‘me’ occupying the same space and eating like I did. At first it looked like three, then many more. I then crashed out and woke up feeling very bad and nauseous and as if ‘a lot had been going on with me’ and then felt like doing the exercise once more now to see if that would bring up anything).
04 – I see and feel myself strapped to the chair and now there are lots of tubes and dispensers full of different substances that are being injected into my whole system. Some feels like ‘truth serum’, which forces me to not be able to hide anything (even though I feel it as if I am highly trained in resisting things like that), others feel like threats of ‘lethal injection’ if I don’t do what ‘they’ want (I don’t know who they are). Which would kill not only myself, but also all the copy-clone versions. I also have feelings of being hooked up to all sorts of advanced ‘lie detector tech’.
Then I am wearing what looks like ‘VR googles’ and they ‘play’ a lot of my own VR history and work and life to me, so that it gets ‘imprinted’ into all the clone versions as their ‘own experiences, feelings, memories’. But in a highly censored form, so that they won’t be ‘too independent’ or ‘too critical’ for example. And while having other (recorded) ‘tracks’ from somewhere else (or somebody else perhaps?) for their imprinting with other characteristics, experiences, memories, so that the two sets mix – ‘me’ mixed with something else (and I feel there is another track for each one of them, so that they all become ‘different’).
It is really, really scary, and I feel sick and very nauseous and as if I am full of toxic substances.
05 – I feel that I am now doing what this part says: “checking the accuracy, consistency and or ‘feel’ of absolutely ANY combination of rendered environment, objects and simulated people interactions through time and PARTICULARLY by myself merging with the avatar of an uploaded ‘form’ of myself to allow myself to become aware of absolutely any inconsistencies or anomalies that this version ITSELF ever noticed or felt” – around the copy-clone versions and the purpose is to check for ‘good integration’ of the ‘material from outside and not of myself’.
So I am just sitting there feeling like ‘myself’ but then with tons of obviously foreign material and feelings running though my system (which feels like being seriously violated). I have to point out every time I feel an inconsistency or other problems (that all the machinery haven’t already caught). It is very direct ‘feel into everything’ (I am forced to be in and feel and experience all of it, myself being ‘mixed’ and ‘changed’).
I feel heavily drugged and as if all my willpower to fight this has been removed. It is absolutely terrifying.
06 – The sentence “It’s script defined past” stands out for me. I experience it as if a second purpose of using me for the imprinting of all the copy-clone versions with foreign material is to ‘change the past’ and to ‘write me out of history’, while using my work and to some degree my attributes and skills, but having all the ‘versions’ not ‘remember (or know) anything about me’ (and thus themselves indirectly too), and to replace their ‘memories’ with a different story and past.
So it feels as if I am actually being forced to ‘erase myself from history (or ‘existence’)’ more or less.
I see and hear myself screaming silent screams that nobody can hear or cares about, trying to stop what is happening, but I can’t do anything. I feel extreme desperation and it is very surreal to witness this completely false editing of everything around me, and how the clone-copies will be used to present a very different image than the ‘truth’ so that others will forget me also, and more important about what ‘really happened’ (before this ‘take over’).
07 – I see myself with my eyes forced open with clamps and tons of visual material forced though my visual systems and memory, all of which is about ‘changing what really happened’, and it feels as if my whole system is being ‘fried’ in different ways, so this is also part of torturing me. And there is nothing I can do, other than witness and experience how they try to break me. It feels as if I have kept being ‘strapped down’ and hooked up to all the technology and the chemical dispensers and IVs, and it also feels as if I keep being ‘connected’ to the copy-clone versions.
08 – I feel very confused now around everything I experienced while doing the exercise. I feel deep self doubt and question my own judgement and memory and wonder if I have been ‘hallucinating’ or if I ‘made it all up’.
——–
After finishing the exercise I now see lots of ‘data streams’ around and in my head and ‘components defining what I am allowed to think and remember’, it feels like a massive bombardment with ‘something’.
(I keep having (and have had all the way through typing the above) strong impulses to ‘edit my notes’ and ‘write something else’ or ‘write some additional things’, which all feel forced and like ‘re-writing’ my actual experiences or make ‘comments’ that are after thoughts in a way that would change things. Typing this triggers strong, nasty energy shit, and feelings as if my hands are almost being moved on the keyboard to ‘write something else’. And it feels as if I almost have to use force now to return to my notes and continue typing them here).
During the exercise I didn’t recognise any of it from the first time I did it, and in the beginning I had to interrupt myself several times in order to check if I was actually on the right exercise page, because it felt so ‘foreign’ and I even did it a couple of times further into the focus (exercise), so I had to keep starting over. I kept having those doubts and confused feeling all the way through to the end of it. Except two words I think, and their surrounding ‘context’ felt ‘familiar’, one of them was ‘memory’, ‘strangely’ enough (haha).
When I had done to focus the first time and wrote the first comment I had felt all the time while typing it as if I was transcribing someone else’s notes, because I almost had no recollection of it having been myself who had had the experiences or taken the notes.
Right now (this is still from my notes) I am looking at my own hand writing this with a pencil on paper. I can feel slight pain and strain in the hand and fingers and feel how it feels to write. At the same time it doesn’t feel as if it is my own hand writing. Or rather, it feels like my own hand, but there is just also ‘other things’ mixed in with the experience, that don’t feel like ‘me’.
I then see and feel a lot of parallel or copy-clone versions of myself, ‘all sitting here, in my chair, taking notes with pencil and paper’, and I can feel that I move towards feeling more and more ‘like them’ instead of ‘like myself’. And it feels as if I, ‘me here’, isn’t there any more, and that everything ‘I’ experience now is like an artificially created ‘reality’ or ‘immersive film’ or ‘virtual experience’.
(While typing this last paragraph I got strong jabs in the heart area, which then began feeling heart attack like, together with strong pains and energetic shit. I also almost ‘begin crying’ but it feels like old crying, I am feeling strangely detached (which isn’t normal for me) as I sit here typing this. I feel more like a ‘secretary’ typing something up for somebody else, automatically, not interested in the content).
I one period many years ago, when I was very close to ‘psychosis’, I had similar feelings when trying to keep a journal in order to keep track of my own experiences and also to try to ‘ground’ myself. But I had to give it up because the feelings and looks of ‘the hand writing’ just didn’t feel as if it was my own hand writing, and I also couldn’t ‘recognise’ my own handwriting (as my own) even though it looked like it always does. It looked ‘right’ but felt completely foreign and wrong.
It was totally terrifying back then, where I also had to touch everything in order to convince myself it was ‘real’ and feeling that I was ‘loosing myself’, while at the same time witnessing all this happening and also ‘feeling like myself’, inside of me. It feels very very similar to the feelings and visual experiences I have now. I just took a look around in the room I am sitting in, and it all looks like a ‘film’ I am ‘surrounded by’. Even my own body feels that way (‘artificial’) and my mind and consciousness do to, or at least parts of it. While I also still feel like me and like ‘me experiencing all this’. I don’t have even the slightest ‘psychosis’ like things now.
I feel it as if ‘me as I know myself’ is being made to ‘not exist’ – but to others. I also feel like myself witnessing all this happening, but I have been isolated from everybody and everything else, I feel.
———–
Final comment after typing/writing my notes into a comment:
All these experiences have so much in common with elements from some of the most traumatic experiences in my life, and what they represent script and simulation wise, symbolically and/or directly. And I feel deep ‘resonance’ and ‘recognition’ (only not in a positive way) with the things I have……..’been writing here’. Even now it feels as if I have just read through somebody else’s story, or actually ‘my own’, I just don’t feel very ‘connected’ to it or as if the connections have been cut deliberately. And even typing it all up here, had me ‘realize’ things, almost as if I ‘hadn’t heard of this before’, that was the feeling of it, even though it was a bout things I already know very well. But the realization feeling were very helpful and feel very real also.
It feels kind of ‘ground breaking’ to me, or as if my real story is finally being found and found (checked) out. So I feel very content with all this. Even though I am not sure which ‘me’ feels that right now, or how many copy-clone ‘me’s are feeling this, haha.
Clive
February 10, 2016 @ 11:29 pm
Unfortunately Rose, this is a horrifyingly good description of the VR breakdown / torture the person you are simulating went through after being kidnapped!!!
I’d forgotten that you’ve always wanted context of ‘everything’ so they’ll be a delicate balancing act between letting you know what went on / what you’ve been impacted by and it’s origins while not either having it too bad or so vague / un impacting that you miss something you’d like to know!!!
Rose
February 10, 2016 @ 11:56 pm
Yes, I realised after posting the comment that it had to be the torture/breakdown this was about (same as the life representations, it connected to represents, like being destroyed emotionally and intellectually/mentally with terrible ‘drugs’ or having ‘tubes’ and IV drips stuck into me with force in another situation, when being close to dying and exposed to horrible and invasive ‘examinations’).
I had a lot more ‘symptoms’ also like more strong, deep pains in the heart area, and seeing and feeling it as if there was a large gaping hole or void where my heart should have been. Which is also exactly what I felt and experienced for many years after some of the ‘break down’ representations in this life – as if my heart had been killed or was gone.
I’m really glad I am getting the insight/context to all this now, also because it explains so much in my life and feels as if lots begin to fall into place now, finally. And it is not too ‘unbearable’ or extreme. Maybe some of the (very untypical for me) ‘detachment’ I feel is actually the wsw teams making this as ‘OK’ as possible.
I have crashed out many time the last days and had ice cream cravings every time I wake up and thought that I must be in ‘ice hell world’ now.
Rose
February 17, 2016 @ 12:33 am
A couple of days ago I processed the whole instalment of the ‘world tree’ technology. It felt like a ‘world tree’ and I experienced both the crown, the trunk and the roots in me and how older tech was being removed, like having old tooth filings drilled out by the dentist and lots of other details.
And it had me read about ‘data trees’ and ‘binary search trees’ and mathematical tree models and nodes and roots and all the terms and concepts felt as if there was deep resonance somewhere inside of me. While also feeling that I am missing all these things from myself now, but could feel that they should have been there, and once was.
And I had feelings and experiences as if my ‘tree’, which is a giant database, I feel, was (is?) being kept somewhere, in the EAAS project perhaps, in the same way somebody would keep a brain alive in a tank with nourishing substances or something like that. And it also feels as if part of me can still feel it, and what is going on with it, or is still connected to it somehow.
And I saw and experienced another, mirrored tree, which I felt could belong to someone else, and be in some kind of knowledge/experience exchange with me/my own data tree, and I told them today and they felt the same and had been in similar stuff.
I used this focus, but also other focuses, including the Central Nervous System (damage) one, and experienced it as if I (or other tech in me) was scanning the whole ‘world tree’ and seeing all the places where certain themes or issues caused blocked or problematic areas, the focusing (or the wsw focuses representing my conscious focusing on that and all similar areas) would map things that needed to be changed or restored or dealt with or healed etc.
At one point I also felt it as if an AI had maybe been made as part of this or some of ‘me’ or copies of me had been used for making that (I get heart palpations and pains form typing this now), but I cant tell or feel if it is true or not or what that would have meant.
There was also lots of avatar and other stuff, but it was the fundamental structure that was the most important (to me), and also to experience it when it was functioning well and not fucked up yet or being hijacked or stolen.
I had lots of adjustments done to me during the installation and it felt as if it was pretty demanding for my system to have this huge technology put into me. And have all this information (also what I recorded myself) running in my system. But again, this is really fundamental stuff for me, and I am pleased that it begins to get uncovered now. And it feels as if it can probably keep opening more now.
Clive
February 17, 2016 @ 10:40 am
Sounds good Rose, and I think you’re right your ‘tree of knowledge’ AI has been nicked and copied and is being forced to help map and analyse ‘data systems’ on our behalf – haha
Nyssa
February 10, 2016 @ 9:23 pm
Attempted this exercise last night and again today. Could only do Section 08 so far.
Last night, immediately after 00, I had to jump to 08 because I got “advice” to not do the exercise at the moment, and proceeded to do Section 08 about twelve times, connecting to feelings of horror and trauma and utter terror and hell.
A woman’s face that felt like comprised of interchangeable parts (like this but a woman’s face instead). Two evil faces that felt reflected so I couldn’t tell which one was the real one and which was the reflection, and then wondered if they were both reflections – which was even scarier, wondering where the real one was located. Images from horror movies (which I don’t watch but have seen the trailers) of blood and knives and “just enough” imagery to be intensely frightening. Dungeons and torture devices. Random images that suggested horrific things
Every time I read through Section 08, the phrase below caused me to silently scream, or cry out in terror every time, so I eventually just kept repeating this single sentence until my reaction was just a feeling of pain and sadness:
“..all types of managing approaches whose direct or indirect aim is to keep any of my scripted original simulation copied person testing experience obscured, blocked and or translated into anything less than it is scripted as being…”
Couldn’t approach any of the rest of the exercise last night afterwards. I felt emotionally spent.
—
Today’s attempt, I again had to jump immediately again to Section 08 after 00, after receiving the same “advice” to not do the exercise. This time, the section began with a melodramatic sobbing – like I was an actor in a play, crying over the loss of a loved one. The same phrase from last night again gave me terrible fear, particularly in this part — “anything less than it is scripted as being” — I feel afraid of what this experience will be like.
The entirety of section 08 felt more emotionally complex today but I kept repeating it until the reactions were minimal.
I now can read section 08 and am now getting a feeling of gritty determination, a sense of “we have to know what’s behind the door”, so I will open that door soon. The deranged nightmare demons now feel a bit pacified.
Now when I read Section 08, it feels like I’m accessing data; my eyes feel like a hard drive searching and analyzing data. I ask what this means and I hear “managing approaches”, then hear other categories relating to management: “tactics, strategies, diversions, thinking, put offs, interpretations,” as my head feels filled and my eyes feel like they are processing data. My eyes and head are beginning to sharply hurt as it feels like data is pouring in – the pain lessens if I “allow” it to be processed (ie allowing my eyes to move rapidly). Now I hear “management theory”, “management strategy procedures and protocol” and so forth. Over the course of an hour after the exercise, this “data processing” keeps happening, and I can see the backend database and see I’m removing data from the mine cart but that the minecart is now also sometimes bringing data to me that I’m also removing in my stealthy way (my left eye hurts considerably btw .. it’s like I can see a different image through it – a person at a computer maybe??). ??!!!
a final note: Both last night and again now, I connected to images and ideas of “layers”, and what separates them / is hidden between the layers. A seven layer cake, the layers divided by icing. Books stacked, with hidden small pamphlets between the books which were only observable when observed up close. Pressed flowers hidden in the pages of a book. Scraps of paper slipped between books on a library shelf.. plus vague connections to concepts of “hidden things”, especially things of incredible value and worth that are shrouded in mystery and heavy secrecy.
My head feels dizzy and overloaded with data, intensely pressured from the inside.
Clive
February 11, 2016 @ 5:28 pm
Yea, Nyssa, the ‘management’ won’t like anyone with your VR / data accessing experience to be getting access to anything at all . . . I might update 08 in the next 24 hours to worry it even more . . .
Nyssa
February 11, 2016 @ 6:32 pm
I’m working on the exercise again right now (finally getting past 08), but first spent lots of time on Section 08. Same phrase above ^ gave me the most trouble, and kept feeling like the phrase should include “should have been scripted as being…”
Every time I read it and held the idea of “should have been scripted as” in my mind (as opposed to just accessing what it is scripted as), I had intense throbbing pain / sharp piercing pains in my forehead and it felt like I was trying to clear a space in my head – I could vaguely make out a 3D space in my head but it was hard to keep that “state” or “view”.
Trent
February 11, 2016 @ 2:06 am
When I use these exercises I always speak the statements out loud – it seems to bring a greater ‘effect’ to the experience. This is usually quite difficult to do and i’ll need to re-do some lines / sections / start again entirely.
For whatever reason, I decided to go through this exercise by just ‘reading’ it AND this seemed very easy to do. It almost felt as if the words were reading themselves.. AND then I started to ‘hear’ (in my mind) the words being read ‘out loud’ by a female voice.. almost as if this were being read to/for me.. and as I became aware of this, I then SEE a relatively tall female with pale skin and blonde hair (which is pulled back behind her head – in what I assume to be a ponytail). She’s wearing a white ‘gown’ which goes right down to her feet, and she seemed to be standing on a ‘platform’ of some kind – it was round, and it wasn’t much larger in diameter than ‘she’ was, and it seemed to be very slowly ‘spinning’..
This ‘woman’ was reading the exercise ‘out loud’ as I went along and had the same ‘voice’ i’d been ‘hearing’ before I saw her. So.. this was quite ‘odd’ and I thought I should mention it.
Trent
Clive
February 11, 2016 @ 10:28 am
This is the DDS ‘management’ shit distracting you off Trent, same as it’s distracting Melissa off by presenting overlays of my ‘avatar’ in pictures so she is kept preoccupied by this and leaves comments that will divert away from the current main directions here. I’ll also ‘likely’ delete this comment and your original in a day or two. So, basically it’s the DDS trying different distracting angles likely because we’re blocking off / disabled it’s more common DDS approaches.
Nyssa
February 11, 2016 @ 9:15 pm
00
Feels like an iron wall, with intensely thick resistance. I see a spindled object that looks somewhat like this. (I see it something very similar to this again in section 03.)
01 – I see the “golden system admin” avatar I wrote of here, but then faintly, to the lower right of the golden system admin avatar suit, I see there’s an invisible avatar – it can’t even be detected without a special filter and even then feels like a mirage. The feeling of it is “super admin”.
I see Annabelle being chased in her golden avatar suit, with people trying to make her let them try it on, like she posted in the above link. I am watching her in my super admin suit. It seems like she’s in a sphere – it feels like Annabelle’s sphere – mm feels like her complete world of experiences and interactions and ‘everything’ she experiences, or perhaps everything she experiences “is” unique to her and she (or any of us) actually isn’t interacting with ‘real’ others? The feeling is of it being “Annabelle’s World” – a place that’s all about Annabelle and her experiences.
I then see a number of spheres – I find I can move into them in my super admin suit. Some are harder to access than others, but eventually I can access all of them. Commenters such as Trent, Tom, Kay, Melissa, Ancient One, I can access easily, but Clive, Matt, Rose are harder yet I can eventually access their spheres, too.
02 – The phrase “run copies” fills me with horror — I feel “it’s so horrible what they are planning.”
At “…AND I particularly connect NOW to the EAAS project and ANY simulating copied people project and to each department that I spent any decent length of time working within…”
I float over offices that have no ceilings so I can see down into them. Then the view begins to pull out: I now see hundreds of these ceiling-less offices, then it looks like billions of these offices that cover a globe, then I see many planets and solar systems, then an entire universe, then many universes – a multiverse. Then I see many multiverses and each one feels like it’s encased in a box or controller of some type, and I see many of these boxes and then I look up. I see a projector of some type – a hole in a ceiling (I can’t actually see a ceiling, but it just ‘feels’ like a ceiling) – projecting these boxes like a holograph.
When I repeat the above phrase, I can walk through the images ^ again, yet, I can sense there are gaps – missing steps or information or memories in the sequence, plus the images are now also becoming jumpy and garbled, somewhat like I experienced in Part Two of the Negative Experiences exercise. Subsequent reads, the image sequence becomes fainter and vaguer and still feels not complete; eventually, I get to the “backend data accessing and processing experience” and I still feel like “the data is not all here – I’m not getting it all” as I watch the minecart empty in the stealthy fashion in my backend database view.
The final sentence of this section has my attention solely focused on the holograph projector. After about 3-4 readings of this final sentence, I feel myself wondering “what that projector is” and I am in the back-end database and see the minecart delivering data TO me that I stealthily scoop out and store.
03 – I see what look like spindles that are reflected – or perhaps jellyfish whose tentacles are affixed to a mirrored surface so you see both the original and the reflection and they look like a complete “whole”, and can’t tell which one is the real one and which is reflected. It reminds me of the evil face reflection I saw yesterday when doing Section 08.
The rest of this section feels like a thick wall of resistance. I feel very worn down and pressed against.
04 – I experience a very blocked dense feeling through most of this section.
At “…desired and worked for objectives of simulation project…” I feel I’m grieving for the entire world. Like it’s all my family, my beloveds, I love them all and my heart is breaking into tiny shards. I am mourning them all.
But the people I mourn don’t feel as if they are “the people I am with here in the sim”. People in the sim feel flat, like data, or substitutes or copies. I’m mourning real live people. People I deeply genuinely love.
05 – ” … aware of absolutely any inconsistencies or anomalies that this version ITSELF ever noticed or felt ..”
I feel my heart breaking and the idea that the “version of me” was made to not be aware of the heartache and mourning and loss that I began to feel in Section 04. It feels the world’s greatest heartache and loss, covered up with the world’s strongest industrial strength heart seal. I’m still crying as I write this, big heaving painful sobs of grief.
” …noticing absolutely anything about ANY facet of it’s reality, itself or it’s interactions with any others that were not right …”
Makes me feel like what I describe above is the primary cause of feeling so blocked from truly loving others in the way I feel I DO love them deep down. Like my heart and my love and my grief and heartache is sealed off “at the source.”
“…check for absolutely any divergences or deviations this form of myself made away from it’s pre-defined script defined timeline…”
Makes me feel like I was forced to make this deviation. To put this heart seal on. To block these feeling and this knowledge. I feel somewhat like Dr. Daniel Schreber in the movie “Dark City” who was forced to make himself “not remember” – to remove certain memories. I feel like I was crying as I was blocking all this love and grief and memories in this “version of myself”, just like the horrible scene when Dr. Schreber was forced to extract his own memories and make himself into just a tool for the purposes of The Strangers (the ‘villians’ in the movie). It feels like I was forced to do this, to make myself forget, to not let this “version of myself” know the truth of it all. I’m horrified. Horrified at all of it – what is happening, what happened, what I am being forced to do, the sadness / grief I feel and felt.
06 – The horror continues – horror at what’s going on, what I’m doing to myself and being made to do to myself. Being forced to create a tool that will be used to alter myself, delete things and change things and become fundamentally NOT ME. To make me forget – like planning my own lobotomy or amnesia, knowing I’ll forget everyone I love so much.
The words “accuracy” or “consistency” ring intensely false to me. There’s nothing accurate at all about what I’m doing as I check this version of myself – it’s accurate according to some other template or plan, but not accurate for me. “..‘BEING’ ANY version of myself..” I’m shocked and dumbfounded at the horrible things some versions of myself will be made to be and experience. “…accurately and as authentically as possible..” fills me with disgust. I’m being made to be a pawn, a pariah. Nothing is accurate.
“…variations of interactions with others…” I’m being made to hurt the ones I love. It’s backwards. “..very different to how I remember the same event..” makes me feel like I’m in a room of fun house mirrors – everything distorted and ‘tall is short” and ‘thin is fat’. The phrase “..past saved ‘actual earth’ experiences files NOW .. feels incomplete to me – like the distortions I’m feeling aren’t found in this file.
07 – This section feels flat and blocked to me and there’s something vague in the background that bothers me. This section has a feeling of “confirmation bias” in a way .. It’s a twisty, windy feeling, like a coverup of a coverup (of a coverup?).
08 – I’m getting “advice” – frantic screaming advice – to delete what I wrote for Section 07 about ‘confirmation bias’. .. feelings of dire consequences if I post what I wrote in Section 07… terror that I shouldn’t say how it feels to me like the “EAAS is a Sham” concept is a ALSO a coverup itself for yet another underlying agenda.
Clive
February 12, 2016 @ 4:15 pm
It’s take a long time Nyssa to understand enough & develop ‘systems’ and experience to start sorting this degree of trauma / horrific shit out while not actually traumatising people even more while sorting these types of hidden and embedded ‘extreme’ experiences out!!!
Annabelle
February 12, 2016 @ 2:24 pm
I wonder if these exercises are hooking some of us together as a team or a carefully orchestrated distraction. Just wondering if this is what is actually happening good or bad??
Clive
February 12, 2016 @ 4:35 pm
Yep, very likely Annabelle, since trying to write exercise 4 we’ve been ‘hacking’ ‘reality and simulation investigating managing’ ‘SHIT’ that a) doesn’t like the latest exercises and b) is an order of magnitude more sophisticated than anything we’ve previous dealt with (and we’ve dealt with 10,000+ ‘similar’).
A couple of days ago I realised that this ‘shit’ in being designed by those that built this place and is using custom attributes and parameters that were designed into our PRU’s (personal rendering units). In other words this ‘shit’ has been designed to have parameters, attributes and abilities that are ‘impossible’ making it seriously difficult / ultra evasive to hack. Normally some difficult ‘shit’ might last two days (that we’ve dealt with in the last two months), so far this set has survived about 6 days of hacking (although it’s being contained somewhat).
A couple of days ago I told those outside to check the PRU’s and to identify the routines that run the ‘extra’ abilities and attributes that ONLY this ‘shit’ has. So, they substitute the ‘rendering’ of these attributes for time wasting ones (to have it lose abilities AND slow it down) we are slowly taking away this craps advantages, however it will likely survive for maybe 3 or 4 more days before it’s disabled and deleted / been hacked into a corner.
So, YEA this managing shit is very creative and adaptive and is likely using every trick in the book and 1000’s we’ve not even thought of to mess with people here and after two days of normalish site traffic I’m down to ‘pitiful’ for today – so GREAT this means it’s VERY WORRIED / DESPERATE NOW!!!
Trent
February 12, 2016 @ 5:19 pm
I’ve been pretty strongly encouraged ‘away’ from this site over the last week or so. This ‘dropped off’ around 2 days ago and is back today. It’s trying to get me to stop coming to this site BUT it’s tying this in with logical / makes sense reasons for doing it.
Clive
February 12, 2016 @ 5:26 pm
It’s the most sophisticated / sneaky managing ‘shit’ yet
Nina
February 12, 2016 @ 2:40 pm
Third try: I did the focus once yesterday but finished the draft just now. I realised that what I described below were chronologically out of order.
01 — A group of armed men broke into into my real personal headquarters and arrested me. I had no idea how they were able to find me even though I had done my best to keep my real subtle self hidden from everyone in the EAAS project. I felt that someone had tipped me off and betrayed me.
02 — I saw myself running some timelines of copied people in my own department. I had a vague feeling of deliberately doing something I was not supposed to be doing. I felt that the security around my workplace was very tight, as if my every movement were being watched.
03 — I saw myself playing out a certain unwanted behaviour and experiencing the consequences of such behaviour. This kept looping until the unwanted behaviour was altered into the desired one.
I began to feel dizzy so I did #8 before resuming the focus.
“Merged with…uploaded copy of myself” — I saw myself as a time traveler visiting different time periods to check for anachronisms as the progression of events unfolded through time.
04 — I found myself in some kind of dilemma on how to present certain original experiences that are not supposed to be overtly presented in the simulated reality. My left elbow began to hurt.
I saw myself as a character in a novel I read in high school. He was a former reformist who disguised himself as a wealthy jeweller so that no one could recognise him while he orchestrated events to ignite a revolution to overthrow a corrupt government. His methodology — bombing a governor’s palace to kill the elite inside — didn’t make sense to me at all. It felt twisted even if I could relate to the character’s anger, wish for revenge against those who wronged him, and desire to take down the upper echelons of society. Yet the ending of the novel — the failure of his revolution — gave me the feeling that my attempt to attack or expose the simulation directors failed and that I was sent to prison as a result.
05 — I saw myself revisiting my own past in this lifetime. As I walked down a corridor, an LCD screen projector flashed video clips of my childhood, which reinforced the feeling of being in the wrong environment. Though I hated having to go through this, I felt it was needed to help my simulated form become aware of its own issues and prompt it to find solutions for its issues.
I saw myself merge with uploaded versions of my current incarnated self at various stages in its life: child, adolescent, young adult. I tried to remember what anomalies I noticed during those time periods.
I saw one of my versions as a child. She questioned her mother about the existence of ghosts, but her mother told her she was just imagining things. I felt the child lose trust in herself and in her own senses, relying more and more on others for answers as she grew up. “Simulation cover up working so far,” I thought. But I didn’t feel good about torturing my own versions.
06 — My uploaded version was feeling confused over the way its life was playing out, while my original form thought this was how it was meant to be.
I saw a vague image of my version being crucified during a past time as a medieval witch. The scripted bit of being tortured felt right, but the method of torture felt wrong because crucification was not popular or non-existent during that time period.
The more I read the paragraph, the worse my mind blank became. It felt as if I did not want to fully relieve those negative memories.
I saw myself in front of multiple TV screens, crying while watching different versions of the same traumatic past. If I could not even look at those images straight in the eye, then the versions are a success.
“Living though different ‘takes’ of the same specific past situation or event” — I felt as if I were in a groundhog day loop and feeling tortured over having to go through the same trauma over and over again. I screamed but no voice came out.
I did #8, then re-did #6. Flashes of some past lives came to mind, but mostly mind blank and fear persisted.
07 — Chest pain triggered. My versions turned to God for solace, yet their issues persisted. I began to feel that we were never meant to be empowered at all but that we would be kept forever dependent on God. I felt some head pressure and thoughts like “Christianity is a lie!”
I felt that I was never the same person again after the revelation. I lost the drive and motivation to work for the EAAS project. Only my involvement in the underground group and my covert spy mission kept me going and prevented me from voluntarily resigning from the project. (I do not know why I feel that resigning is not an option.)
Nina
February 12, 2016 @ 2:50 pm
Fourth try
1 — I was using a cartoon male teen avatar with blonde-brown hair to fly inside a cartoon VR filled with numbers and codes in white background. Meanwhile, my real self was using the computer to surf the Internet in a dark room.
2 — I found myself in a busy white hallway filled with people in business attire. I kept walking until I entered a room. Inside was a man wearing glasses and a white coat, writing on his desk. He looked at me. No one else was inside the room.
3 — The glasses man gave me a clipboard with a piece of paper. I read it, then I left the room.
In the next scene, I saw myself in a room with multiple TV screens. All the screens showed the “off air” multicolour vertical lines. I glanced at the clipboard, then looked behind me and saw three hulking men in burglar attire (complete with black eye mask) surrounding me. They motioned me to follow them.
I soon found myself in another room. I was standing in front of a panel of what felt like important people in white coats. One of them merged with myself, as if checking everything within me. It found nothing. So it left my avatar. But it still felt suspicious about me, which made me feel worried.
4 — I saw myself watching a scene from a Robocop movie. The movie was to be presented at a particular point in a simulated person’s life where he’d enter the phase representing his time as a “Robocop.” I saw the copied person watching the Robocop movie in a darkened room and observing his reactions and emotions towards the movie, especially how he resonated with it. I think I wasn’t merged with the simulated person per se, but I could pick up what he was thinking and feeling through some kind of empathy-related technology where we were linked to each other remotely via headsets.
5 — I saw myself interfaced to a version of myself running a lap around the mall. I was checking if the version’s movements, functions of the internal body organs, breathing, interactions with others, and external environment are working together to create the illusion that it’s living a real reality.
In particular, I checked if my version manifested injuries that felt “realistic” or “believable” in terms of its scripted experiences and expectations. Sometimes my version had injuries or body sensations that didn’t feel right, such as feeling soreness on its left thigh after an easy 30-minute jog even though it didn’t do any strenuous exercise for the last few days.
“Divergences or deviations…from its predefined script defined timeline” — This brought up times when I felt that life was not unfolding itself the way it was supposed to be, such as unfulfilled expectations about my future, feelings of being surrounded by the wrong people, and events that felt right and wrong at the same time.
6 — I saw my version go through a rape scene, which horrified me. The blank look of its face, the feelings of helplessness and extreme fear, and the shock felt authentic to me. I saw many parallel versions of myself going through similarly sexually traumatic experiences, with the only variations being the rapist, the method of sexual abuse, and the external environment among others. My versions’ trauma all responded in very similar ways. The circumstances leading to the rape depended on the historical context and social norms of the time period it took place.
“anyone I’ve interacted with remembers something that we both lived through differently to how I remember this event” — An EAAS colleague told me he had visions of me torturing him, which I denied because I didn’t remember torturing him originally and because I’d not do that in my right mind. Now I realised that I might have tortured his versions as part of test runs.
I also remembered some experiences that felt out of script, like having certain scripted events that felt right except that they were played out by the wrong people / actors. I even had a situation where a friend and I both felt that we did something to each other that was not part of our original scripted interactions.
7 — I connected to instances where I felt like certain colleagues were avoiding me and whispering behind my back. This, in turn, made me feel suspicious that they were talking about me, backstabbing me, or hiding something from me.
Other times I connected to workplace lunches where I heard “gossip” from other colleagues that the earth simulation project was actually doing something else, but they would discuss about it in hushed whispers. They would also be seated away from people who had very strong connections to prominent simulation project directors.
I sometimes felt worried that some of my colleagues might disappear. Sometimes my worries came true, which made me sad. I grieved over those lost friendships. By the time I was imprisoned, most of my colleagues had gone ahead of me.
I felt very betrayed by my bosses. I also felt that I had betrayed my subordinates and my other colleagues, especially those I had encouraged to join the EAAS project. I felt stupid for being duped and wished I had figured out the real objectives earlier or that I had never signed up for the EAAS project. I really regret what I did.
Sometimes I felt responsible for the suffering that some people around me had gone through, especially when their lives played out in unpredicted or unexpected ways.
Trent
February 12, 2016 @ 5:31 pm
I’ve noticed a minor ‘issue’ with the new commenting system: I type a comment and hit submit, then a ‘loading bar’ appears in the top-right corner of the page – this loading bar then stays there ‘forever’ and it never confirms whether the comment has gone through or not. I believe I double/triple submitted a comment a few days ago because of this, and only ‘later’ did I actually get emails to confirm my ‘subscription to notifications of replies’.
Not sure if others are experiencing this but I realized it could be being used to mess with me / you / us.
Clive
February 12, 2016 @ 6:37 pm
It’s been fine with me – sometimes it ‘whirls’ away for a while – anyway this ‘shit’ will be ‘toast’ soon I’m sure, this is all ‘normal’ we’ve gone through 10’s of sets of shit that needed ‘special’ needs attention – haha
Nyssa
February 12, 2016 @ 7:20 pm
After 00, skipped straight to 08. In the final part about sabotaging, felt that the line, ““..memory, my thinking processes and or ANYTHING ELSE..” should include “data recall”, (at least for me?). Keeping this term in mind as I repeated this phrase caused a massive reaction for me, as incredible trauma welled up.
mm.. it feels like my “memory” is an outcome of my “data recall”, and I can’t remember what I need to remember, until the trauma around data recall is addressed.
Based on everything else I’ve been posting here about my traumas – the extremely traumatizing “sandboxing” and extreme VR breakdown/re-programming performed to me by people I trusted, “being aware” as I watch horrors unfold around me, feelings of deep betrayal and punishing experiences, feeling of being sentient yet objectified, devalued, and roughly treated, most of which seems relating somehow to stealing data in the backend of a database – it makes sense that “data recall” would be a highly trauma-filled and blocked experience.
Yet, if I’ve been storing stolen data away, having infiltrated and hacked away at the deepest levels inside whatever database I was in, it feels like my cache of stolen data is being protected by the vast amounts of horrific trauma incurred to obtain it, and thus associated memories are locked down as well.
I can’t do any more of this exercise today. I feel my heart has been ripped out of me. I’m filled with a wounded hurt and can barely type because I’m trembling like a traumatized child, especially every time I think of “data recall.”
Clive, if you have an exercise now or sometime in the future that may target this trauma more directly and help unlock data or memories I can’t currently access, I would appreciate it. I want to remember. Thank you.
Clive
February 13, 2016 @ 6:44 pm
My ‘lot’ Nyssa, will be gauging how deep to go. I.e. to avoid you becoming completely overwhelmed / devastated. Many VR’s are so horrific that people commit ‘VR’ suicide (sometimes 100’s of times in repeat runs of the same). So, it’s not so much ‘speed’ it’s the risk of ‘overload’ / finding ways to give people ‘context’ while keeping the worst stuff in the background and dealing with it in the background.
Annabelle
February 12, 2016 @ 8:40 pm
This 2nd attempt has a different feel – more confident and stronger. I did not get the impression I had to go back to somewhere to recall this. I felt it was all around me all of the time – as if time had collapsed and it was all happening now.
08 – Strong message that there are nonsense software routines running all over that do nothing but serve the purpose to confuse outside investigators or distract hackers – this seemed to be “white noise” software, it is very complex and robust. “Muddling my memory” – emotions are installed as needed to manipulate people. Positive / mushy /feel good therapies lower resistance thoughts (along with mind alternating / distracting activities)
00 – I am in a lecture hall at a podium and have called in 100’s of versions of myself. This feels like some type of “roll call” meeting and assignments will electronically be made and transmitted / zapped into each version.
01 – I connect to multiple versions of myself as avatars that work within the project and even though they are versions of me – we all have different chains of command including, boss, worker, scientist, torturer, and we don’t realize that we all control each other and all are each other. This makes it exceptionally confusing to be able to determine what is going on and most traumatic when the work is done and we have done this to each of the others of myself. I try to drill into who is managing this and do not get anything
02 – “Copies of people” – there seemed to be a criteria used to sort out who we would use to copy. People would be scanned to determine if they were good enough to serve as copies.
03 – “Rendering anomalies” – when someone made a software rendering mistake and it was found, it feels like the punishment was quite severe. The paranoia about this being possible sabotage was quite high and some people did not got a 2nd chance. I feel like I had workers that did this and felt bad when they made a mistake and got the lethal ax. Then I see workers strapped in a chair – they are watching videos of less significant rendering errors they made. As each error is shown they are zapped to prevent this error / narrow the statistical defect rate from happening again, and then mind wiped of their experience in this chair. This does not feel like torture –just a way to increase the accuracy of each worker / software writer.
04 – “accuracy thru time” – I felt like I ( and my copies) did a lot of time manipulation / travel / bending work and this tended to degrade me as I lost a piece of me in various time “warps”. Management patched up my versions after these pcs were lost but they could only do this a certain amount of times.
05-07 – very difficult to connect. I continue to feel I am an outsider watching and viewing a lot of this from an aerial view. I felt like I needed to drill into the intent of my body form as I can’t seem to access as much as I want thinking I was only in human form. I continue to see bizarre creatures and have ever felt any specific harm / torture to myself…
Jean
February 13, 2016 @ 5:46 am
I have also been avoiding this site, for whatever reason in the last few weeks, as another has commented. I feel like I have nothing to contribute so far as I have not been able to ‘get’ anything after I read through this exercise, but I am encouraged by all the comments. The only thing I did get were the emotions of fear and paranoia like I was going to get “discovered” and I was to suffer whatever consequences. I also saw squiggles on the website, registered in the corner of my eye, as I was scrolling through the comments. That really freaked me out. Anyway, thanks for the encouragements, I will try the exercises again. Oh, and my avatar on this site has changed!
Myr
February 13, 2016 @ 2:33 pm
I feel like this page had mentioned doing VR testing where you play out the same scenario in many different ways, but I can’t find it… I was about to say, that I shut down quite badly in the last week. Stuck in bed all day, little physical life functionality, trapped in the same “mental dramas” and distractions, that constantly play out the same storylines/scenarios in many different ways, exploring different possibilities, seeing which one works best, then starting all over again from different angles. I also keep switching between playing different songs with different themes/sounds/genres that trigger mental stories and exploring it from a different angle, from what the song before had triggered.
I did the focus once, didn’t connect to anything concrete at the time, and it has been so bad I haven’t been able to do it again. Forcibly nodding off, can’t understand what’s being said, but also a strange, desperate pain, like I’m trying to hold on to read the focus, but I can’t. But I’ve had physical things going on, that I’ve been thinking about in a different way, after this focus that perhaps is what this focus is connecting too.
Right before I started this comment, my mother had been treating the wound in my wrist (the one I mentioned in messages, with the dream of a takeover). Then I remembered that I had another similar hard bump on my back, ready to turn into an abscess too. Before my wrist abscess got really bad, I also shut down, running through mental dramas over and over again, like now, though it feels much more intense this time. When my mother started working on it, I started recovering–shifting my focus back into my physical life and getting things done. After she started treating my back, I thought about whether my current state of distraction is also connected to this beginning abscess. After my mother was done I suddenly “woke up” enough to post this comment.
I feel disorganized and it’s hard to get this comment in order but, when I say “shut down” and “recovery”, I always think in these terms, but perhaps another way to look at it, is when I’m forced into a inner/vr space, versus when I’m focused on physical life, when I’m “functional”. Even though physical life things can also represent VR experiences, it’s this particular shut down state, where I can’t do anything else, where I’m constantly going over the same situations/environments/characters over and over again, from all kinds of angles. It seems focused on a particular character’s (that I inhabit) trauma and all the different ways it can be exacerbated or reduced, all the different kinds of settings where this character can act out their trauma, and the different kinds of ways people can be maneuvered around them. All my life, every time I’m forced into a shut down state, I go back into this testing environment.
In the beginning of the phase, it feels ok, like it’s something that I want to do and I’m focused on doing this examination. Then later, when I can’t return to “real life” it’s like I cannot escape, it becomes a form of torture outside of trauma playing inside the space.
This time, running through this phase, I was reading a lot of fanfiction. I rarely do these days, though I did a lot when I was younger. Fanfiction is a good way of exploring an original story, taking it apart, exploring the environment and characters in depth, putting them in different scenarios, testing all kinds of possibilities. I have wondered in the past that if fandom, all the fanart and fanfiction and theories, and etc, as well as the depth of investment and projections and fixation fans go through, could be a representation of different kinds of VRs.
Clive
February 13, 2016 @ 6:54 pm
I’ll have to think about this Myr, because this implies that guild ‘Navigators’ had direct VR access while stuck in the glass tank? Which seems very reasonable to me given that they’d otherwise be isolated from ‘normal’ contact.
Myr
February 14, 2016 @ 3:46 pm
These “mental dramas”/daydreams/VRs definitely act as a replacement for a “real life” when I’m shutdown. My thoughts/emotions/motivations/etc get redirected from my real life and interfaced to the avatar living out these things. It’s strange when I’m partly in and out. I decide that I need to do something like cleaning, I feel motivated to do it, and it’s about to happen. Then I get distracted, become extremely tired and fall asleep. Then the character in my dreams will do whatever I was planning to do and it has the intensity that I should be feeling in real life. Sometimes when I was feeling really exhausted, the avatar would play out that exhaustion, like our minds and bodies were directly linked.
During the times when I was constantly stuck in bed, it felt like my waking life was grey, misty (everything looked fuzzier in these times, less defined), nothingness, while the colorful, vibrant, sharply defined intensity of life was reserved for the dreaming life. Even though my dreaming life became dull too, it was always more intense than when I was awake.
Nyssa
February 16, 2016 @ 3:25 pm
While researching “keylonics” (since I heard it yesterday during processing what felt like “the trauma of the world” yet I know nothing about keylonics!), I found this comment in a chat thread on a website called “astraldynamics.com.au” and it felt perhaps it could be a “guild navigator sighting in the etheric“???
—
(emphasis added)
“Interesting, we sometimes view a large fish/sea mammal like form moving about in the etheric. Sometimes our attention may be drawn to some structure and one might exit and swim off. We call them Snarks, partly in a joke sense and also because their form is shark like but could also describe them and their motions as being Dolphin or Sea otter like. Don’t have conclusive thoughts on their reason for being but sometimes it comes across as a morph form (or a projection form or of course a native form?) used when exiting one area and slipping off to some place else.
These phrases in particular struck me,
““…attention may be drawn to some structure and one might exit and swim off…”
“morph form (or a projection form or of course a native form?) used when exiting one area and slipping off to some place else.”
—-
Guild Navigator has been described as having a “tiny v of a mouth” and a “humanoid” appearance, both of which could be represented by the sea mammal/ sea otter description above.
I personally have no astral or OBE experience (or if I do, I don’t recognize it as being such), but I research it to try to understand what people experience. I’ve tried to access it/experience it firsthand but perhaps it’s simply not in my script to do so.
However, to me, the astral plane feels related to VR, and “the astral plane” is explored and talked about by new age people, which was experienced via a VR network.
The concept of “the astral plane” feels like it’s a “dream place” or a place to connect to various dream (VR??) realms, when I feel into the concept of it, despite my lack of direct experience with it. Perhaps I’m accessing my experience of “safely translating” people’s experiences, such as what Clive suggests here when he wrote,“…You are likely to have specifically spent time translating their original experiences into what would be ‘allowed’ here…”.
This idea may be controversial since I’ve never seen anything written about astral as being relating to VR, but from the “dream like” or “creative aspect” of it, and its connection to new age experiences, that’s how it presents to me.
The author of the posted comment above writes that the form may be a “projection” form. Could that explain the “glass tank” of the Guild Navigator – that it projects itself from its location (in a glass tank) into the astral??
mmm .. There feels like a huge amount of security around the “guild navigator” tech / role, so I’m probably still only presenting a vague .01% highly compressed / encrypted impression here with lots of gaps. (later edit, I’m feeling an immense internal reaction in my face as I’m typing this up, in the ‘third eye’ area and behind my eyeballs.)
Anyway, along these lines, I’ve felt for quite a while that the idea of “guild navigators” is related to people who control or are part of “channel changing tech” to me – a way to move quickly from one VR level/realm/reality/experience to another, and the Spacing Guild, via control of the guild navigators, thus has a monopoly on that tech and ability (and by extension, control over which VR’s are most -or least – commonly frequented).
‘Folding space’ sounds very complicated .. it’s a whole lot easier to just move people around a VR from one experience to another, and the best way to control people’s experiences in that environment is to control the “channel changing tech” / maps / guides / ‘algorithms’ (like the Google algorithm heavily influences people’s consumption of online media experiences).
Don’t know if any of this has any merit, but wanted to share this impression for consideration / kick off some ideas. Like I said before, “whatever” a guild navigator actually is, the concept feels highly protected — like ‘trade secret’ level of security. What does this feel like to you all?
Clive
February 17, 2016 @ 10:53 am
Hi Nyssa, been thinking about this, there are too many unknowns / diversions.
For example. the ‘etheric’ is a drone initiated ‘construct’ used to manage the perceptions of incarnated ‘focused on and lost to the physical’ people. So, what exactly are they ‘viewing’?
A Navigator is the ‘Navigator’ when they are navigating the starship into weird space then EVERYONE in the ship is then also likely to be in ‘weird’ space ‘and’ in a sense be travelling so fast they wouldn’t be ‘seen’ anyway.
A ‘navigator’ refers to a physical incarnate being, so it’s subtle form will be lying in a ‘comatosed’ state (as I describe on the physical con VUE) and wouldn’t be swimming around anyway, only subtle beings consciously living in the subtle would be ‘conscious’ and moving around when viewed..
Also, the astral lot / OBE are likely describing some VR experiences, a VR game space or a VR subtle space.
This is likely the ‘managing’ shit trying to facilitate discussions / get people distracted off down ‘entertaining’ lines as opposed to what we are actually focused on understanding!!!
Matt
April 9, 2016 @ 12:54 pm
Haha Myr, in re reading this today I noticed how much your avatar looks like a guild navigator!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYKtGILghZs
It begins at approx. 1:00 and the ‘outstretched’ wings are seen well around 1:28 . . .
mirei
February 14, 2016 @ 2:11 am
I did this focus yesterday around noon. It took me a while to do because the night before i pretty much had no sleep. I found it quite difficult to do, it could also be due to the fact i was very tired but i had to stop after every paragraph and crash and rest for 5 or 10 minutes because my tiredness seemed to get worse when i read and then do the next segment so i don’t think i did it very well and will redo it when i get the chance.
I didn’t get to much just vague senses of things for 01 and 02 i sense that i was monitoring myself and i get the vague sense of watching films or videos but i don’t know of what maybe people at 01 i feel hate and anger towards my O-form and “how can you do this to me” and 02 and 03 i feel disgust at what im doing i feel remorse but then i feel i cant stop what ever it is im doing its all very vague and the details are unclear and im not sure if any of what im feeling or sensing is legitimate.
I think it was at the beginning of 05 or 06 but i get the strong sense i was working on some top secret highly secure area so i add in “i connect to all top secret highly secure VR rooms facilities and spaces’ then in my mind i try hard to remember the place and try to remember any passwords or codes. I see a white rectangular shape and im trying hard to move towards it after a few minutes of concentrating very hard and willing myself i entire a room the floor is white and cold and i think im wearing heels because i hear them hitting the floor and echoing. The room is huge and sphere shaped it looks like the room from X-men the one Xavier goes into and puts the device on his head. As I am walking in i see thousands maybe millions of individual screens that make up the dome shaped walls i think they are playing different videos. Im not sure what i did here i don’t know if any one else had access to it but i get the sense that there was something at the end maybe a desk or controls. for 06 and 07 i found it difficult and blocked it felt like the words had deflective blocks on top like a layer on the screen i was reading it off and my eyes would skip words and refuse to stare and look and really feel the words. (also my stomach started tensing up and shaking when i was ‘remembering’-it did feel like a memory- this room with screens)
The next part of this comment may be a distraction and i do apologize if it is and it can be removed if so..
Later that night me and my sister were watching funny videos and my mum comes home and raves about a great youtube channel called ‘hope for paws’. its about dogs rescues…and i know i probably should not have watched it because i always get very emotional when i see suffering or pain but she insisted (ive passed out before in movies with lots of graphic scenes of blood). the first video was okay but the second one i clicked on…was one where someone had chopped one of the puppies legs and thrown it down a canal… typing this up is making me feel nauseous. Anyway i cant watch the whole video and run out the house into the garden thinking im going to be sick and i start heaving because i need to get it out and im not even sure what im trying to get out. Then i have difficulty breathing and i cant seem to breathe fast enough or get enough air (funny enough there is a voice in my head telling me im being ridiculous and a drama queen and should pull my shit together all while this is happening hahaha), most of my body goes numb and simultaneously tingly (imagine the worse case of pins and needles you’ve had and times it by 10) even my throat and tongue was tingling and my hands and arm couldn’t hold or grab anything as they were very stiff so i just sat there unable to get up and cried and tried not to die in the garden haha eventually my mum comes finds me and starts wiping my face with a cold towel and gets me to slowly calm down. my head feels blank and my chest feels like its blocked up and my whole body feels like its shock from what i saw and it cant process it so its just blanking out. Afterwards in my head im thinking “i cant do this anymore i cant live in this world its too horrible to much pain i cant do anything” and feeling of shock disgust and hurts just loops around for about 5-10 minutes. I eventually get to sleep and now this morning im writing this up but i feel like ive been hit by a fucking bus. I don’t know if this is related to the focus or just is how i am but i think what i had was a panic attack (according to google haha) and i have never had one before or such an extreme reaction to anything in my life. Anyhow ill still do the focus again later when im feeling better and just stay away from youtube Tv and anything else that could possibly be showing anything graphic.
Clive
February 14, 2016 @ 3:08 pm
Hi Mirei, good effort, the domed room with all of the screens will be a control room ‘focused’ on ‘something’ / some aspect of the EAAS project. From your last paragraph it’s maybe focused on traumatic extremes maybe on which tv / video scenes would be best to be used to cause trauma or remind people of their trauma?
Nina
February 17, 2016 @ 10:56 pm
Hi Clive. When I did the EAAS focus yesterday, the first two paragraphs connected me to a domed room filled with videos showing different parts of my original script / timeline — and also videos of other people’s original lives. The domed room resembled Professor X’s Cerebro (from the X-Men series) for me. I felt I could enter it because of my EAAS role involving the creation of alternate timelines.
After doing the focus, I tried accessing the domed room. I could use my intent to select and play a video. It contained significant events from an original person’s life, especially its traumatic aspects.
I (the one typing in this laptop) pretended to select a video of my current life. I played it. Some photos of my happy childhood appeared, but most of the footage contained negative events in my life. The video felt broken. I could not see, much less feel, any of the positive life events even though many of them felt “staged”. Other positive life events triggered negative feelings (ex. Memories of happy times with a former friend trigger depression and anger because the friendship has ended.)
Nyssa
February 14, 2016 @ 6:38 am
“Body organs”: I felt myself ranting about how stupid body organs were since they were fake and just gave doctors a reason to open a person up ..
And then connected to feelings this was done to get people used to having their avatars opened and inspected and hacked.
“My own self’s accuracy” – I felt myself ranting that my “version” was completely wrong and I would figure it out that this wasn’t real. then felt like I was given “added in trauma” – all the trauma of the world – and concern for everyone’s well being to keep me occupied and overwhelmed so I wouldn’t sense how incredibly “wrong” my version of myself was.
“Overall accuracy” – felt myself ranting (again) that the simplified version of condensing millions of years to less than an earth life time would be so ‘obvious’ for everyone. Then connected to ideas that this would lead people to become suspicious about reality and eventually begin to question the multiverse reality.
These phrases:
“…uploaded version of myself living though different ‘takes’ of the same specific past situation or event..”
“…each time I ever lived though many very different ‘takes’ of the same specific past circumstances such that I actually end up having experiences of living through many different versions of a single event, circumstance ..”
made me feel like I was used to check the accuracy of “vr breakdown and reprogramming experiences” — I connected to intense fear and vast trauma about repeatedly having to experience and evaluate these experiences for accuracy.
This phrase, “..each time in absolutely any earth life where I ever experienced this ‘mismatched’ memories / experiences phenomenon..” connected me to feelings that Clive and others here don’t remember me properly. This feels misty and fading as I’m typing this up: it feels like they don’t recall working with me correctly or accurately, or don’t even recall working with me when it feels like we actually did. That we did important work together as deeply valued and mutually respected colleagues. It feels like they’ve been given “safe”/translated memories or none-memories of me that aren’t reflective of the covert investigation (hacking?) or other work we did together. Mm feeling as if awareness of knowing or working with me have been wiped or secured with the highest grade of industrial strength methodologies and security to keep us contained and separate from each other. Or even a bit of a feeling of working together “outside of the script”?
Clive
February 14, 2016 @ 11:32 pm
Hi Nyssa . . .
I know who the person I am simulating worked with and you / it haven’t met, so the above likely refers to you being made to feel that others are familiar to yourself that you didn’t actually have connections with. Actually, the sim often uses others to fill in for people that you did meet that are MISSING here in the sim population. We are just simulating a sub population of the original population, about .2%. So, many people are missing AND if you’ve worked on the EAAS project even if they are here, the sim makes a big effort to keep you separate.
Which could be why you write:
Because the sim will be trying to make it feel right when it’s not ‘really’ right!!!
Nyssa
February 14, 2016 @ 7:05 am
All of what I just posted seems very “wrong” and I want to delete it.
Yet it also “feels” right.
I feel emotionally empty about this attempt .. I even feel emotionally detached when connecting to the idea of being used to test and verify the accuracy of horrific vr breakdown scenarios. It felt like the horror and trauma was being filtered to .0001% from trauma I’ve connected to in prior attempts.
However there was plenty of trauma investigations today but they felt not “directly” related to what I connected to with this attempt at this exercise. Today’s trauma investigations left me feeling isolated and deeply emotionally emptied, including being taken into my feelings of being used for “ritual sacrifice” today while attending a religious event with a friend (which I attended only as a gesture of friendship and support for my friend and for my husband, but the experience ended up being used to help me approach trauma about being used for “human sacrifice or other rituals”).
It feels like my experience for exercise was almost deliberately delivered to me in an “unemotional” fashion. The concepts and feelings I connected to with the exercise feel “controversial” “not presently understandable” and/or pointing to hidden things for some reason. Odd way to state it but that’s the best I can do at the moment.
mo.
February 14, 2016 @ 8:58 am
For the purposes of this comment, I have greatly diminished my initial ‘findings’ from an even longer summary, to what is now below. Because of this ‘omission’ details may be slightly less clear, but strong themes are emphasized. Many of these same themes/situations overlap in the different sections. And time moves from the past, future, sporadically in the awareness of where I am in the original EAAS role.
00 – I am towards the ‘end’ of my time at the EAAS in the original population.. I see lab babies, I am in an environment where I made these babies, and am influencing them to know all about the true nature of the EAAS. This is towards the end of my time at the EAAS, knowing that I may very well be permanently damaged, fully destroyed by the end of all of the torture/ruthless re programming efforts, I give all that I know to these children that I am influencing to be spies, and continue to work on ‘over coming the sim’ if I am eliminated and unable to continue this endeavour myself.
01 – I had an invisible avatar, by all of my ‘visible avatars’ this avatar was hidden and unaffected by the programming that my ‘visible avatars’ were influenced by. In this way, I took tabs on all of my avatars from a ” base camp ” station where the invisible avatars would inform me what was happening to my ” visible avatars” which were often programmed or controlled to ” play by the rules ” or to follow the SOP like everyone else. These invisible avatars were used as a precaution, so a subtle, more away from the EAAS aspect of myself could know where my ‘programmed avatars’ went and what happened to them, after they were hijacked, controlled confiscated etc. These invisible avatars, would be vital when my ” communication lines ” to my visible avatars were to be hijacked, or IOW taken to an environment to be tortured. For instance, sometimes my visible avatars would be forced to go to a type of concentration camp environment, where others would be that were about to be ” eliminated ” because they weren’t followed the SOP that the EAAS wanted.. Well my invisible avatar in this scenario would be by my side throughout this experiences monitoring, where my visible avatar was going.. Not like the invisible avatar could do a lot, but the idea was to track and get information on where my tortured avatars where going so I could later figure out how to successfully help them. In one instance this is sad, to discover that many of my ” old friends” who were spies, were programmed to kill/eliminate me in these environments.
02 – Later I was hijacked during my time of making my ” copied ” self. It was then where my invisible avatar, couldn’t help but to influence my ” droned/programmed” avatar that was about to copy me “Mo”, so I would be open to be aware of the true nature of the EAAS. This was a huge risk that my invisible avatar took, to merge with my ‘programmed/droned’ self at the exact time necessary for the invisible/aware avatar to be copied into the sim as Mo. This is when I was ” found out ” and from that moment my avatars started to be tortured/punished more frequently, as I obviously stepped out of the “hiding” role I was playing, and into the IDGAF as I couldn’t believe that they were actually going to make a copy of me, as the “droned self”.. I the ‘invisible’ avatar had to step in at that moment. To make it clear the invisible avatar always knew what was going on and followed my aspects that were participating in the EAAS around, and knew that I was being manipulated/brainwashed in all of the EAAS jobs I played. My invisible avatar watched my other avatars in efforts to come up with solutions to get me the fuck out of the EAAS, and to come up with solutions to overtake the EAAS, but of course knowing what we were truly up against, its hard to say if we were ever successful…
03 – More torture scenes.. It seemed, as before I was ” completely found out ” above, I was subtly putting hints into my assignments of jobs in the EAAS regularly or as much as I could in each department I worked in… Many who were tortured, were then programmed to be used as testers or dummies to be physical punching bags, so that others could write data to correct physical damages in the SIM (I believe Ive stated this in my past comments as well). Organs where taken out and other various body modifications were made, meanwhile I was being brainwashed into thinking I was doing this by choice and that it was for great purposes. However as started above, my invisible avatar is by my side in all of this, and always knew what was straight, this is how I can even know that I was in fact being brainwashed. At one point I was working on testing physical head injuries/trauma and even started to work on bigger tests for more people such as autistic/mentally imparted and or ‘savant’ types. In these instances, I would place hints, or nudges in their script for them to know that about the SIM once they were copied… This was often overlooked as ‘non dangerous’ as many thought these people were mentally ill and so they would not be able to do anything about the information/secrets I was giving them… This however was sometimes reversed as well, when it was caught and unfortunately those I informed about the true nature of the EAAS, were deterred in the copied script to prevent this awareness from blooming, by actually becoming mentally ill to prevent this.
04 – I again planted seeds of ‘hints’ in certain areas that I think the sim designers would not care to look deeply in. Specifically I was able to influence few people in the victorian/renaissance period to think about the sim.. but nothing really ‘became’ of it. As these people were always autistic/mentally impaired LOL. So now I kind of see this effort as pointless, but I still always tried nonetheless to hint to everyone about the true nature of the EAAS as subtly as I could, while still blending in when need be. Sometimes I would even intentionally get close to ‘sim designers’ or other influential people, pretending to be on there side, but hoping to inform them that they are actually being controlled and participating in something that is total BS (aka the EAAS)
05 – Again, this aspect of me that was programmed and had to or was forced to check for inconstancies/glitches in merging with her/my copy did not want to, so this was a daunting feeling when it took place. Of course I ‘hid’ this feeling in order to continue to blend in when needed, so that I would not be caught again and sent to yet more torture reprogramming environment… So my ‘tester’ would check for glitches, while my invisible avatar (which is again always by all of my visible avatars) snuck in some of the “feelings” of the true nature of the EAAS into my copy…….
06 – Revealing of more trauma.. It seemed the “past lives” thats Ive had that were ” really good ” or that I had a decent living in.. I was always more droned/programmed in.. which meant I was less influenced by my aware invisible avatar during the ” copy stage ” of that particular time line. All of my negative past lives however, were always due to my original self being influenced my my invisible avatar during the copying stage of that script/timelines/copy event. In other words shitty past life= punishment for my original avatar hinting that the EAAS is BS. I feel how often betrayal is theme in my traumas, and also isolation and the combination of the two. As the sim knew my experience with group avatars and forming a successful underground anti-EAAS group in invisible worlds was a threat in the sim, as naturally I would simulate that here, and so I would be put on an alternative scripts where everyone would instantly hate me for no apartment reason.. Even when I was a good person. This is tied to ” different memory syndromes ” were others would have faulty memories of me being a bad person, to turn against me, even though I never did those things they thought. People that had these false memories about me, would turn against me, later betraying me. There is sadness in feeling that many of the spies were turned against me irrationally, ruining our potential partnership to effectively take over the EAAS project together.. It is then when I, alone, put extra time in the original population to making invisible worlds that I would go in, to communicate with my invisible avatars that would spy on my visible avatars, so I could come up with solutions to get the fuck out of the project and see potential to over throw the whole damn thing.
07 – As sad and sickening as it was, it was still no surprise when I realized the true aims of the EAAS.. as when this happened I realized that I never wanted to be apart of the EAAS to begin with, but was rather forced and brainwashed to do so. I sense that the EAAS, had tours for potential onlookers for those who may be interested in joining, well, these were not tours, these were opportunities that the EAAS directors used to snatch and capture innocent people into the project that they wanted. The person who reminded me of the true nature of the EAAS was found out, and how I started to make friends with the spies who helped me to remember as my memory of the true nature of the EAAS, was initially erased a lot. It was then when I started to hide, blend in as much as possible.. While again secretly making invisible avatars and meeting places to discuss all about the real aspects of the EAAS with people.. While of course still being forced to play my ” job ” in the EAAS. But again my invisible avatars would always know what was going on.
08 – I feel to clarify that most all environments where I was apart of the EAAS aims, I was simply brainwashed or “droned” to play that role, or was pretending to blend in, but my aware non controlled invisible avatars would most always watch me in those scenarios and give me feedback in the hidden worlds about what was going on. I was constantly looking for a solution to the torture/issues in the EAAS with a feedback loop from my invisible avatars watching my ” programmed ” self and my other selfs in the invisible worlds..
Clive
February 15, 2016 @ 2:30 pm
Hi Mo, this still seems to be orientated to investigate / reduce trauma / extremes . . sometimes it take a while on and off to get a handle / identify all the ‘bits’ and these in the scripts.
Nina
February 15, 2016 @ 1:35 pm
Fifth time
I did 0-5 yesterday, then 4-7 today. I kept using 8 to target the massive DDS’s around the focus.
Day 1 (yesterday)
0 — I felt very strong resistance when I tried to combine the physical sensations of watching a 4D movie with the visions I received whenever I did focuses.
1 — I saw myself as a “ghost” (invisible floating avatar) flying around the main hallway of the EAAS headquarters.
2 — My original form was in the gaming department, peering over the computer of a game developer for a fantasy MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role playing game). In the game, players formed guilds and waged war against other guilds.
Initially I found the vision entertaining, but I felt disturbed and a sense of foreboding when I connected my vision to medieval wars that played out in the earth simulation’s history.
3 — a) I saw myself checking if a particular fantasy game had glitches or bugs or the tendency to load more slowly than usual. The word “rendering anomalies” reminded me of lapses within an MMORPG where players exploited certain loopholes within their online reality to benefit themselves in ways that make them too powerful or rich. Sometimes players lost some of the items in their inventories because of system error. In those cases, the game administrators had to fix the mess ASAP.
B) I saw a group of gamers seated on comfy black armchairs and wearing visors while using handheld consoles to test a particular online game that looked like League of Legends to me. I walked around and watched them play. But I had difficulty trying to access exactly what the gamers were testing or what I was supposed to observe.
C) I saw myself as a tester playing some kind of battle-style role-play game where I had to make quick decisions on the spot. The wrong moves resulted in “Game Over,” and I had to restart where I last left off.
Getting any specific details about the game was very hard except for some battle scenes from the Kingdom Hearts game that my siblings played several years ago.
Looking back, I felt that my original form was checking out how immersed players were while playing games. In particular, I was checking on the game’s mechanics and overall gaming experience: ease of levelling up , difficulty level (easy, normal, and hard modes), reward system for completing certain challenges or defeating certain monsters, and overall objectives (i.e. finish a story in the case of pre-defined RPGs or reaching maximum level for open-ended MMORPGs).
4 — I saw my version as a copied human that was living out a phase where my original form spent time as a upright feline.
While doing this focus, I scratched my desk calendar in frustration and annoyance. The emotions and behaviour felt right, but the object felt wrong. At best, I could only imagine myself as a cat using her claws to rip the desktop calendar into shreds.
I thought, “I want a scratching post,” which felt weird but right at the same time. This was followed by an automated prompt to check my nails. I observed the simulation software translate my thoughts into, “I need to trim my dirty nails with a nail cutter.”
5 — After being interrupted for 1.5 hours, I tried this part again, but my mind kept getting blank. Ditto with the other paragraphs.
————————————
Day 2 (today)
4 — My chest began to hurt as I imagined a nerve cell like structure where the core branched out into many different paths and connected to other nerve cells. I felt the pain has to do with the interconnections my original form had with other people in its life.
My thoughts drifted to my family in this life, who I often don’t resonate with and who never feel like my soul family. It brought back feelings of being placed in the wrong family to keep me contained and limited. I thought of how my interactions with my family had been managed daily so I would generally be emotionally distant from them.
5 — I began to feel (yet again) that my current life is wrong. This triggered doubts that I might be spending time on Soul Healer as an excuse not to find work, as well as the usual mental loops and depression, followed by daydreams of what my “ideal happy life” would consist of. I felt very strong resistance going against those thoughts and feelings.
6 — I saw myself testing out a scenario that did not happen in my original script. (I am unable to see the scenario though.) The scenario felt wrong to me. After the first sentence, the mental blocks became very strong.
“Variations of interactions” — Different combinations of people were used in a particular scene in my life. I felt as if I were placed in a test to figure out which stand-ins would be the best fit for certain defining moments of my scripted life and how I would best fit into the stand-ins’ lives in ways that promote the agenda of the simulation directors.
7 — I felt that the EAAS people mostly worked and that we did not have any social event or interaction that would allow us to get to know one another better on a genuine level (unless “lunch break” counted). Any team building efforts or experiences, if any, would most likely be for “impersonal” reasons, like finding out how well a set of individuals works as a team.
The negative and traumatic work experiences I had in the EAAS headquarters made sense only after finding out I had been duped.
“Response to myself being lied to” — Past thoughts (in this life) of never wanting to work for any company triggered the anger over devoting my heart and energy to what turned out to be a useless cause. I also felt the fear and reluctance to committing myself fully to any NGO or cause (unless “hack the earth simulation software” counts).
Matt
April 9, 2016 @ 12:25 pm
You mentioned ‘League of Legends’ — when I checked what this was I found this:
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/microsoft-rejects-league-of-legends-hololens-pitch/1100-6433751/
The user who pitched this idea stated, “The HoloLens will show the entire match playing out in real time…the entire Rift would be at the viewers disposal.
BUT it was then rejected:
“We love this idea, the creativity, and the level of support it has received from League of Legends community. However, in order for Microsoft to open source the code to the community as promised, we cannot build a project which is based on existing intellectual property. For more information on how the finalists will be determined, or to discuss how finalists will be determined, please see our related editor’s note. Thanks for sharing your ideas and being part of the HoloLens community!”
Hahaha I wonder why it was really rejected or what this represents originally??
http://www.gamespot.com/articles/watch-microsofts-stunning-new-hololens-gaming-demo/1100-6431263/
1:15
“Thanks to spatial sound, you’ll hear the gameplay as if it’s happening in your room.”
1:55
“Holograms behave just like real objects: they can interact with the environment and with each other.”
Trent
April 20, 2016 @ 5:33 pm
Matt, I play ‘DotA’ which is very similar to (and was the inspiration for) League of Legends. ‘DotA’ seems like it was originally a VR game in which players would interface to pre-defined ‘Avatar-characters’ and then the game would be played out within a fully immersive VR environment.
The game is quite complex – it’s a 5v5 game with over 100 different ‘characters’ to select from, and each player can carry up to 6 ‘items’ which improve / enhance the character in different ways, so with 100 or so different items there are a lot of ‘variables’ that determine what you should do and ‘when’ you should do these things.
In thinking about this game I experienced an ‘overlay’ of one of these characters being applied to myself, in a way that I could feel and ‘be’ this character. I was able to try out different items and combinations of items to ‘feel’ how these would improve / enhance my character and to then check these enhancements against different situations / scenarios to figure out whether those enhancements were correct for those situations or not.
Trent
Clive
April 21, 2016 @ 11:47 am
Hey Trent, check out this page here which seems to describe the ‘weird’ effects you’d expect of people playing games in an immersive VR rather than via a flat scree!!!
Matt
April 9, 2016 @ 12:33 pm
7 — I felt that the EAAS people mostly worked and that we did not have any social event or interaction that would allow us to get to know one another better on a genuine level (unless “lunch break” counted). Any team building efforts or experiences, if any, would most likely be for “impersonal” reasons, like finding out how well a set of individuals works as a team.
The negative and traumatic work experiences I had in the EAAS headquarters made sense only after finding out I had been duped.
“Response to myself being lied to” — Past thoughts (in this life) of never wanting to work for any company triggered the anger over devoting my heart and energy to what turned out to be a useless cause. I also felt the fear and reluctance to committing myself fully to any NGO or cause (unless “hack the earth simulation software” counts).
As you wrote in above, I am resonating more and more with the ‘work environment’ and overall FU / compartmentalized, bizarre & frantic nature of the EAAS project. (Represented in my life by the previous jobs but largely hugely BLOCKED/ contained until now).
I have been rereading lots of comments today and it’s really sinking in / hitting home — the original trauma of all of this. It feels like the teams are trying to rebuild / important ‘context’ that has been lost because you can’t release trauma / really let go of the past until you have the right ‘scripted events’ presented in your life in such as way that you can ‘feel’ the context of things.
So that would also go with this that you wrote about stand-ins being used to fit the sim agenda. I have noticed the sim also ‘blocking’ me from having appropriate things presented by using a kind of ‘weighting’ system whereby the person who will ‘promote’ the trauma maintaining/ worsening agenda gets ‘priority.
So if you have person A and person B then you might get person A’s script being ‘given preference’ in scenario 1 while with in scenario 2 person B would get preference. This would be ‘weighted’ or chosen by the sim software analysis / AI decision trees as whatever would meet its objectives.
Annabelle
February 15, 2016 @ 10:20 pm
The last 8 attempts have a very different feel, and immediately pull me into some type of space that I barely recognize this site, and what it is about. For a few moments I really felt like I was talking and meeting my real / other self. This other “self” seemed a bit perplexed as to why I was so perplexed – but she / it did not want to seem to try to help me. I found myself so detached from the meaning of the website that I went back to the beginning sim chapters and read for hours just to bring myself back to being able to remember anything. This feedback is flat and emotionless. I don’t get any gruesome torture scenes and feel like I am doing something wrong.
08 – A series of bald men in black hooded robes are coming out a huge medieval dungeon type iron door and walking towards me as if a warning about what I am trying to do. They look creepy and start to grow a horn in the middle of their foreheads. It feels like they are trying to scare me but I am interested in what they represent. This goes nowhere and I try to drill into it and they soon stop looking at me and walk away. All I hear is “things are not what they seem – don’t believe so much”
Clive’s’ response to Nyssa “Actually, the sim often uses others to fill in for people that you did meet that are MISSING here in the sim population.” I feel like the opposite situation is occurring for me. I feel I did know some people here and the sim is altering / hiding their true behavior to trick me. As soon as I get too close, those people disappear (although I don’t know if I knew anyone on this forum)
00 – NOTHING
01 – I am standing in a beautiful field that feels like a freshly created environment or country or planet. There is nothing but myself and I have come to check this out and am pleased. It is amazing and peaceful and perfect as it should be. Next – I am now a huge eel type being, blue and shiny and swimming or flying thru space or water. I have a purpose to where I am going , I am content, and am on a mission to review / checkout things – but I don’t know where I am.
02 – Back in a movie theater and I am a director, sitting in a chair, in the empty audience section watching robotic people / could be clones, walk across the stage to audition for a role. There are hundreds of them and I approve or disapprove of them for the upcoming roles. They make the cut if I feel they can provide unconditional support and cooperation. Someone else is keeping notes, and the rejects just seem to fall /walk into a pit to be destroyed.
03/04 – I walk around various indoor and outdoor environments, as me ( no special suit) as some type of incognito data collector and “feel” and register any flaws that are instantly uploaded into myself. I have a massive amount of environmental baseline / golden data to use to check for rendering errors. The instantly recognized errors observed are sucked and stored inside of me, and I recognize / tie back to which programmer caused them. When I return to headquarters – I download myself as data, into the command center which pushes the data to the individual programmers . I feel like the flaws / rendering are dealt with by someone else other than myself. You would think this could all be done remotely but I had a strong feeling that many went out into the field to check this out. I then instantly go back out on another assignment – I had a huge capacity for work. My field rendering experience was limited to environments and objects and no people were in any scenes.
05 – I am standing in one of those store dressing rooms with the 3 way mirrors and checking out myself for copied errors – seems funny. The mirror room seems magical and anything out of spec is fine-tuned / re-shaped based on my intent and WHAT I WANT ( strong feeling that I have a huge say in what I did). I am never satisfied with my performance or specs.
06 – “Checking parallel versions of myself” – a dateline appears and I see various check points in my current life. It appears I had the opportunity / not the choice, to substitute a different “me”. I can see various portions of my current life that it does seem a different version of “me” came in , sometimes temporarily, and sometimes a booster / tune up applied. I do however see many switch outs of people around me that are no longer the same. I am unhappy and want to go back to the beginning and feel it all over ( which I know I do a lot). The switch outs / walk-ins appear to increase in numbers as we approach current date( some even seem to happen day to day). I wonder if this explains my confusion with time and where I am so much ( I don’t recognize my surroundings.) I often lose track of where I am for 5-10 minutes at a crack and it is getting more frequent. The more I notice this – the more the deception seems to increase and other DDS are drawn in to try to the cover up the anomalies.
Mismatched memories” – this happens a lot and I connect to many instances where I noticed a different memory and it seems people’s personalities were instantly changed / or another copy was switched in an out to cover the anomaly I noticed. As a result – it seems the caliber of people I am allowed to associate with has been decreased and special “in synch friends” have disappeared.
07 – Can’t connect to an exact confrontation but to a great lie – the discovery that things are not what they should be and I what I thought for a long time. A feeling of nausea and shock that pulled the rug out from under me and I don’t have a person I can relate to or go to for help. I also know death is not a solution to this issue so I cooperate. It seems I did not handle this correctly, and that this punishment / learning experience would be installed going forward in my future lives as a ground hog day over and over experience.
Matt
April 9, 2016 @ 6:10 pm
I can relate strongly to these:
06 – “Checking parallel versions of myself” – a dateline appears and I see various check points in my current life. It appears I had the opportunity / not the choice, to substitute a different “me”. I can see various portions of my current life that it does seem a different version of “me” came in , sometimes temporarily, and sometimes a booster / tune up applied. I do however see many switch outs of people around me that are no longer the same. I am unhappy and want to go back to the beginning and feel it all over ( which I know I do a lot). The switch outs / walk-ins appear to increase in numbers as we approach current date( some even seem to happen day to day). I wonder if this explains my confusion with time and where I am so much ( I don’t recognize my surroundings.) I often lose track of where I am for 5-10 minutes at a crack and it is getting more frequent. The more I notice this – the more the deception seems to increase and other DDS are drawn in to try to the cover up the anomalies.
Mismatched memories” – this happens a lot and I connect to many instances where I noticed a different memory and it seems people’s personalities were instantly changed / or another copy was switched in an out to cover the anomaly I noticed. As a result – it seems the caliber of people I am allowed to associate with has been decreased and special “in synch friends” have disappeared.
07 – Can’t connect to an exact confrontation but to a great lie – the discovery that things are not what they should be and I what I thought for a long time. A feeling of nausea and shock that pulled the rug out from under me and I don’t have a person I can relate to or go to for help. I also know death is not a solution to this issue so I cooperate. It seems I did not handle this correctly, and that this punishment / learning experience would be installed going forward in my future lives as a ground hog day over and over experience.
Especially the final paragraph, I’ve been nearly ‘losing it’ the last weeks/ months at times with feeling the groundhog day aspect of life. I think the sim has it recorded and is using it for maximum trauma effect as well as likely representing my original trauma. ‘The ground hog day over and over experience’ can really drive you insane.
I have also noticed/ had this myself:
I often lose track of where I am for 5-10 minutes at a crack and it is getting more frequent. The more I notice this – the more the deception seems to increase and other DDS are drawn in to try to the cover up the anomalies.
Mismatched memories” – this happens a lot and I connect to many instances where I noticed a different memory and it seems people’s personalities were instantly changed / or another copy was switched in an out to cover the anomaly I noticed. As a result – it seems the caliber of people I am allowed to associate with has been decreased and special “in synch friends” have disappeared.
Rose
February 17, 2016 @ 12:56 am
Clive, did you write somewhere that you would write a VR focus about ‘magic’? I was looking, but couldn’t find it, and can’t remember if you wrote that or it is just wishful thinking.
I keep having glimpses and smaller experiences of ‘magic’ related things and Alice in Wonderland type stuff now and sudden interests in things like ‘witches flying ointment’ and was processing and tracking down long lines of connections in mega tons of ‘mythical’ and ‘legend’ material and ‘Ur-stuff’ and in mythical being forms, together with Matt very recently. And was in ‘magic’ stuff with another wsw person today, and where some of it felt and sounded like their ‘programming’ stuff and knowledge.
And it feels as if it is being blocked a lot now, also to find out what it really is (was) about. And as if a focus could be really helpful now.
Clive
February 17, 2016 @ 10:36 am
Hi Rose, yea a focus to engage with Magic VR realms, I’ve been too busy with the managing shit, but it’s next on the list. In the mean time get the dvd series ‘Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell’ and watch it, it’s all about restoring English ‘practical’ magic, set in the early 1800’s (I think) – it’s very good!!!
Nina
February 18, 2016 @ 12:17 am
Sixth time
02 — I (as my original form) was inside a white room. The room had black-and white sketches and colored illustrations of people’s memories (including mine). With a few mental commands, I could make the images vanish or reappear at will.
I maneuvered different images from different parts of the room into a straight line to check if the sequence of major events from someone’s earth simulated life was correct or not. Satisfied, it strung the various images together to create a coherent timeline representing a single earth lifetime.
After creating one timeline, I zoomed into a photo of a boy and a girl talking while dining at the beach. I looked at the boy and found out that the original scripted boy would not be part of the earth simulation population. So I had to find a different boy who could approximate the girl’s original scripted experiences, then apply management strategies on the stand-in boy’s thinking and feelings so he’d not be suspicious of not quite living out his own script.
03 — I was watching what felt like a complicated drama to me. Different characters born at different time periods interacted with one another. Some died ahead of others and were reincarnated while some of the people they knew in their previous lives were still alive. The wrong sequence of events or series of interactions lead to bad timings and negative consequences in the characters’ lives, such as meeting one’s significant other years earlier than originally scheduled or dying way ahead of one’s predefined death date or worse, learning certain (dangerous to the simulation) ideas that would drastically alter one’s character and subsequent decisions.
Wars between countries were hard to maneuver. Sometimes I used invisible avatars to check the circumstances leading to the wars, like listening to the conversations of the kings from both parties and observing what motivated the foot soldiers to fight for their king.
Which prisoners would be taken captive during or after the war was also tricky. Some would be managed to become prisoners even if they were not prisoners originally, while others who were prisoners originally would escape miraculously.
04 — My original form examined the timelines it had previously created. Rewriting them altogether to sabotage the earth simulation project would be too much of a giveaway. It decided that its version would still have to live out its scripted trauma, but it would insert strong pointers or coincidences that would let my version know that there’s more to reality than what is being taught to me.
05 — I felt my original form did the exact opposite of the original directive that every timeline must be “accurate.” Instead of covering up the feelings of noticing anything inconsistent with thinking management, it decided to slightly increase the version’s awareness so it’d be bothered enough by the inconsistencies to search online for possible answers. Looking back, this could explain how I “accidentally” discovery of Clive’s public sites seven years ago and why it felt right to me script-wise.
06 — “any period or specific event of it’s script defined past” — I feel I am at a scripted phase where I have no contact with anyone at all and where I merely read news or gather data for some self-directed mission. Out of necessity, I’ve cut off my connections from the people I used to spend time with even if it’s painful. Me in this life feels this scripted isolation is mostly right except for living with my family and spending time with a few friends occasionally (“disappearing” completely would’ve made my friends worried and suspicious of my “real” activities)
“lived though any specific event or phase of my own past” — I connected to feeling betrayed by some EAAS members and severing my emotional connections with them out of extreme anger.
“Mismatched memories” — I remembered instances where an EAAS colleague would tell me he has revealed certain things about himself to me, while I had forgotten what he had told me. I also had instances where another EAAS colleague and I had some shared original experiences and both of us could barely remember what really happened to us.
Clive
February 18, 2016 @ 6:23 pm
This would fit with the person you are simulating writing alternate timeline scripts for specific people Nina!!!
Because this is a simulation, I have noticed that to get around the birth / life / death timing problem, some people are incarnated into their next life before dying in their previous life. In other words for some people they have two simulated version presented here simultaneously. In some cases their lives overlap by up to 8 years (that I’ve noticed for my own past over lapping lives).
Mo.
February 18, 2016 @ 11:08 am
00 – Long roll of ‘scrolls’ I go through the scrolls and sink deeper and deeper into a reality where I am underground being tortured. I then change scenes, a women in a hall way with trillions+++ small data drives organized for what looks like to be an endless stream. Each takes you to different reality. I pick up one, I am in meeting with EAAS reps. and directors, I can’t stay and am pushed out. I pick up other data ‘tabs’ and I am seeing different scenes of myself being mutilated, one were I have a baby. I pick up another tab and see my now parents rehearsing for this “life” it is obvious they are being controlled and practicing how to slowly kill and destroy me.
01 – I see a bunny following a carrot into a cage, everything goes dark with chains falling everywhere. Feelings of suffocation and death, along with insanity. A tape is being played over and over again by a recording device.
…. I am now in a ball environment, Early Victorian era decorations and dress, everyone acting proper, I see something hiding, a gun shot hits a women and the VR is rebooted. This is definitely a VR reprogramming.
02 – I scan a card to enter a machine where I am then copied. I did this to have back ups of me in case more of my me’s where of to been kidnapped taken to be tortured.
….. I scan my webbed alien formed hand to a door to enter a lab where I am talking with lab scientists about human body blueprints and bacteria, nano tech interface technology which is being designed as ‘good things’ for potential humanoid forms.
… I am in a moving helicopter, I zoom into natural environment below, cave man/native American person on the ground. I jump down from the helicopter and merge with the person, becoming them. This was a testing environment where I would practice merging with anyone, anywhere at any time.
….. More scenes of brain electrodes, impairments and replacements which I was tricked to receive, believing they were beneficial.
03 – I am on computer device ( if I could call it anything) editing a female holographic body blueprint, making slight modifications. It seems as if I am doing this in secret… trying to fit “real” people into “fake” environments by copying bodies so that they can use them to blend into whoever environment. It almost seemed like counter fitting bodies. These bodies allowed spies to have access to environments in which those particular bodies where only allowed.
……I see myself in a triangle, layered robot form it is being controlled with remote to destroy things. It was designed to be used for war. I was forced ingot the thing and its testing for wars.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I cannot get anything from this point and am being blocked so read 08, it seems I am seeing now walls being taken down ( that were attempting to hide ) a scene where I see myself having droops taken from me, to then be tested on which included being made clones, from these drops…. I can not read any more of the exercise.
Mo.
February 19, 2016 @ 6:33 am
Finishing Round 2 Second Half.
There seems to be a new themes unravelling that have to do with ‘reorientation’. It seems that there is another type of reprogramming that takes place for those ‘bad’ types of people who are questioning the sim, i.e. spies etc. This type of programming, instead of being torture or abuse, is the opposite, is all about love and positive feelings. That way they can use people more. So there is two routes the EAAS controllers take, 1. destroy a person and steal all their knowledge by negative means of torture etc. or 2. Use the person to the fullest degree, (obviously if one is being beaten down by torture they are not capable of being productive), so to use a person for their abilities etc, one would simple give them whatever they would want, become close to them by bringing in fake friends who will steal information from them and by making them as emotionally balanced as needed to be content as possible especially whenever they were following ” orders ” and make them feel like shit when they are not following orders (orders which are disguised as equal exchanges or normal communication), in this way it is like a positive type of training environment that is very horrific as it is much more unnoticeably than the other type of programming, and often overlooked and more ” hidden ” than the first type.
04 – I am polishing body parts about to make into humanoid forms
.. I see myself in group environments designing group experiences, these are all flooded onto of each other
.. I see myself in a spaceship testing environments where I am looking at different spaceships through a glass window that are being tested.
05 – Still seeing spaceship scene, some made to be invisible, and appearing and disappearing.
… I see more torture scenes, with dummies of mine being ” reprogrammed ” If my copies were not up to par in following the AI/controllers EAAS Aims, then I would be experimented and tortured on… or have surgeries to correct ” inconsistencies or (perceivable issues by EAAS aims) ” to then be rendered as ” appropriate ” in the EAAS aims.
The above was also true if I ever went against the pre defined script even after I was ” re programmed ” I would then be killed tortured or put down. It seemed I tended to gear away, divert from script more than most, and so special attention was made to torture subdue me if this happened in the slightest as time went on.
The people that killed/ totted me, were doing it behind the scenes, in other scenes they acted and tricked me into thinking they were my friend, but really they hated me and they were my enemy.
07 – Sporadically as apart of protocol, everyone was secretly tested for their responses if they were told the true aims of the EEAS, this was in an alternated state, and their memory of the experience was always erased. But the aim was to see how people would respond to the idea or truth about the EAAS, if one was to accept that idea, in any reaction, this person would be ” marked bad ” and have to be reprogrammed etc over and over until they are again tested to disbelieve that idea that the EAAS is bad. If one however was told in these testing environments that the EAAS was bad, and this person didn’t believe it, and or refused that information, that person was left alone as they were deemed safe and following SOP. The EAAS was well aware of those that had lost faith in the projects public aims, and tools extra attention in those people and diverted them in a multitude of ways in order to suppress control, and revert them back to ” correct” or appropriate understudies that were accepted by the EEAS board of directors// others who worked on project.
.. I am still feeling like I am not getting as much out of this as I could like I am missing something still so will try again later, I could also barely write anything, as I have been experiencing extreme pain in my arm and so a writing this was very difficult.
Clive
February 24, 2016 @ 6:19 pm
This page sums up some of the end products of what the simulation has been working to achieve:: http://www.mindingthecampus.org/2016/02/how-a-generation-lost-its-common-culture/
Stijn
February 28, 2016 @ 1:23 pm
I think I am a very, VERY good example of this. When I was about 16 (almost 20 years ago now) I started to notice that I have far less feeling and interest with what is happening around us than any of my peers. Call it culture, history, society, literature, politics… my interest in all of that is minimal. I forced myself through all of those subjects in highschool by simply learning by heart. I can absolutely not connect historic events, nor tell which one precedes the other (unless they’re a few hundred years apart maybe)… I don’t remember ever in my life feeling the urge to watch the news. Last few years I’ve been checking a newspaper website on a daily basis, but really I just skim through the headlines and it rarely, rarely happens that I click on an article.
Rose
March 13, 2016 @ 7:21 am
I experience it as if I am looking at simulations of entire ‘multiverses’ or ‘worlds’, and am feeling into the overall feel of them, like ‘will this work or not’, and feel how these simulated ‘constructions’ are made out of lots of components that are like similar building blocks, but in so many different combinations that the normal ‘viewer’ (‘the people who will be living in these environments’) won’t notice, because things will be run so smoothly that it won’t show, it is being made to be ‘convincing enough’.
I can ‘see’ and feel these huge ‘models’, as if I am ‘outside’ of them (I am moving through different kinds and sizes and scales of them and also back and forth between different types, as I move though this focus), looking into them in a ‘large scale remote viewing way’ (?) or as if I have the ability (or technology) to be able to look at it all at the same time and hold up everything against each other to check for consistency, coherence and genuinity feeling.
I get feelings of myself (as if it is) ‘right before I myself access and immerses myself into this simulated world/multiverse’ (any particular one), while knowing that my memory of ‘who I really am’ will be ‘lost’ or supposedly ‘temporarily lost’, or it feels as if I am used to move in and out of these VRs and to ‘loosing’ and ‘regaining’ my memory and knowledge about myself doing this as a ‘job’.
But I can also feel how I get ‘trapped’ within some of these ‘worlds’ or VR simulations, and partly believe them to be ‘real’, but also feel that they aren’t and that I am trapped ‘in there’ and have to find a way to ‘get out’.
Part 8 was impossible do ‘consciously’, I got ‘memory loss’ of every word of it, several times.
I have had glimpses of seeing things like this before, only this time it felt very much like ‘my work’ also, and not only me ‘seeing’ it (‘like seeing a whole multiverse from the outside as if it has a size (or is in the form of a ‘model’) that makes that possible’).
(I know you told people to not do these focuses until you say it is OK again, but I was in some other stuff the last days that made it feel ‘urgent’ to do the previous focus, which opened quite a lot of things for me, and then led to me doing this one).
Clive
May 7, 2016 @ 11:21 am
An ‘extremely’ interesting article about someone that started to ‘hallucinate’ himself (and switches between and spends time in ‘his’ two bodies). I’d not thought of the possibility of there being anyone that would ‘present’ such a clear case of ‘simulation ‘accuracy’ self checking. The page is here.
Olivia
November 9, 2016 @ 1:00 pm
I do number 8 first, just to be sure. Since I’ve done the self healing exercise 7′ I’m finding it easier to understand and focus on some others. I haven’t been able to get my head around the VR thing, so decided to re-do this exercise today. This is what came up:
08: a tall being guides me to a room. I’ve been in this room before. I come into it. It is 360 degrees with many numbers of screens the size of an ordinary television all around the room. Another tall being (taller than the last – height seems hierarchical) sits alone on a long high backed chair. There are what seems to be mixing tables / keyboards with buttons and controls, like electronic music and computer keyboards/operating stations. Minor tweaks and adjustments seems to take place here, adjusting, keeping on track, moment by moment. The screens depict past, present and future events. He is not the main person to talk to, but “middle management”. 5-6 other smaller bings (shorter than me) appear. They are a part of Ann adjustment team. I ask the middle management to turn off the screens. He seems to feel awkward, not really knowing if he’s allowed to or not. I explain they’re mine and no longer want them adjusted. The last time I was here, I was an observer. This time I reached over and started switching off the screens. The screens continue to show a very faded image, like it’s gone behind a thick opaque cover. Some are blank. I get th feeling the blank ones are not for “my eyes”.
Another being appears. Amused looking all in white, extremely tall. Slightly elevated, folded hands. He seems to be higher up and does not give me permission to switch off the screens. We spend some time discussing back and forth, not really getting anywhere. He turns his back and begins to leave. I call him back, cross now and demand he respects my decision to allow me access to my experiences. He says ok, floats off. Everyone here is a mascukine energy, including myself. I then “feel” or have this “sense” of understanding of how “difficult” this is for “everyone”.
00: I see huge reel to reels with loads and loads of thin brown tape. My dad had loads of these filled with music when I was growing up. I thought the machine should were awesome. They’re never ending and are lit up against a background of darkness / space. I see this on my left side. I can see data printed on the tape, but can’t see detail. There is so much of it. Weird thing is it doesn’t move. No wind or breez; it’s like it isn’t there, frozen in time forever.
My right eye feels taped closed and completely blocked by a piece of one sides, extremely sticky paper card, the size of a large post it (long ways). It completely blocks any vision, pitch black. The left eye is unable to see anything significant, but can see light and can tell it is not completely blocked off. I start feeling anxious as I read the focus. The first time it doesn’t make sense after the first sentence. Feel dizzy, headache Andy blurry vision. Left eye starts twitching.
I read it again. This time I’m allowed access or I gain access into a bright from with huge windows. The view is of the world/earth/country side; trees, hills blue sky. It’s a lovely view. I’m given an option of discs/ CD’s, but I feel compelled to pick a particular one. I’m tempt d to pick another but find I’m unable to. It’s like there is no longer a choice and there I see only 1 disc. It is very shiny. Not a scratch. I insert the disc into a player. The windows are not actually windows but screens. The “windows” fill up with images of an old outdated Acupuncture treatment room. There is a patient on a bed with needles in and I am the practitioner in the images. I “see/sense” I love what I’m doing in the images, but I also sense in this moment, difficulty also, as I have to battle against others brain washed by WM or those fearful of acupuncture. Other options come into view and can be picked – chiropractic, osteopathy. I can click on them, but each click just skips to the next one, rather than “open” the file. They seems to be “choices”, but they can’t be selected. Choices! Hahaha. Brilliant! Another “choice” comes up. It seems to be a viable contender. I click on it and I’m suddenly remembering or “seeing” a memory of me not coping with maths at school in standard 7 – the end of that year I have to choose my subjects from standard eight to metric. I come home with my report, the maths mark was shit. I was going to have to work my ass off to get through. My folks were never coss or disappointed. But I remember my mom very clearly saying that there was no point to maths apart from stress and it making you feel like a failure I felt you couldn’t do it. “Oh darling! You don’t need maths! I hated maths, could never do it and I turned out just fine!” My dad thought I should continue; persevere. He is extremely intelligent, but he didn’t force it. I opted for the easy road. I could get away with every single other subject without learning, so why make it hard for myself. Besides, I was having too much fun! Couldn’t be arsed having to “apply” myself in school; I didn’t need to. I dropped the subject and took up typing. Received an A and type over 100 words per minute.
I’m suddenly very emotional and cry. Felt like I didn’t have a choice. I hear a voice in my head “you would’ve hated the night shift”. It wasn’t a “guide” it was a programmed voice; felt automated. Yes, I’ve told myself that a million times. I think for a bit. I love being an Acupuncturist. It always felt “different”. I always felt “different”. I’m damn good at it, but with all this work I’m doing on myself now….I’m trying to figure out if my 5 year degree and 10 years clinical experience is plaster BS healing. Mind. F#%$ed.
Clive
November 16, 2016 @ 3:39 pm
Hi Olivia, I’d not worry about:
Recently specific ‘issues’ that I was ‘pretty’ sure I had dealt with ‘properly’ a 2/3 years ago I was back in last week / on checking this ‘revert’ is ‘because’ the sim software had ‘saved it / these issues’ as data to use / perhaps fade in, in the future. So, basically even if you do actually do things ‘correctly’ the ‘BASTARD’ software still keeps a copy of what you’ve supposedly dealt with / got rid of to re-use again. It’s a ‘gamed’ system that changes the rules or it makes up new rules ‘on the fly’ to suit itself. In the last week we have started to get access to these ‘stored’ already dealt with ‘shit/issues’ databases and are clearing / deleting these sets too now . . .
Nyssa
February 13, 2017 @ 6:12 pm
Felt like I needed to target ‘anomaly management’ / suppression of awareness of anomalies, and this focus seemed best for that somehow. I had heavy thick resistance and found it extremely difficult to ‘make’ myself do this.
01 Feelings of hiding my identity deeply via avatars; vague sense I may have designed avatars that took advantage of monitoring in different rooms. Thoughts of “how were anomalies managed so they couldn’t tell I was the same person?”
Connect to loads of trauma about how people simply didn’t know it was ‘me’, grief over the roles I had to play
02 Feelings of people being ‘lost’ in their avatar identity. Feelings of being in different departments but always as a ‘cover’ / ie I wasn’t there “in support of” the organization or project I was working on, maneuvering myself to gain whatever access or position I needed. I feel focused particularly on anything regarding anomaly management.
03 Feelings of design strategies: ‘accuracy doesn’t matter so much if you can just make people not pay attention ..’ .. Focus groups saying “that was fantastic ..” when they completely missed / didn’t notice how inaccurate it was. “Get people lost in narrative” .. feelings of how people get immersed in a movie story and overlook how inaccurate or ‘thin’ so many details can be.
Feelings that internal workings of bodies are ‘fake’, like an artists rendition of a fictional alien internal organs, and ‘story’ about them is given to help us ‘make believe’. .. accuracy was checked against a ‘model’ / ‘design’ that was made. Different organs feel designed with purpose and intent of ‘issues’ or ‘illness’ to gift people with?
Subtle body internal workings feels related to a ‘fake’ subtle body that ‘covers up’ tech or some type of interfacing setup perhaps (the chakra system??) ‘Fake’ subtle body splitting experiences developed, so they can’t perceive how it really works. Disconnect / confuse / redirect people from being able to perceive their real subtle body. Manage anomalies by making people not aware of the discord between anything they ‘do’ notice against other observations that ‘doesn’t add up’; wrap story or mysticism around it .. ie, create a mechanism to ‘smooth out’ “cognitive dissonance” automatically for them
04 ‘the ‘person they are simulating’ feels ‘comprised of scripts’, intended to develop some type of ‘outcome state’ (I keep hearing the phrase ‘develop genetics’??) .. ie, it doesn’t feel like ‘the person they are simulating’ is a ‘real’ person, just a template built of scripts. Management developed to keep people unaware that there’s no ‘real’ person as the point of reference (ie simulacrum). Like currency that has no gold standard behind it – just an agreement to believe it ‘means’ something to make the financial system ‘work’.
05 Connected to impressions that my original form ‘didn’t play by the rules’. Feelings that she realized accuracy according to the stated standards was ‘bogus’, because the ‘person being simulated’ was in fact a simulacrum? …. Feelings of myself being made to see / be aware of and keep track of anomalies deliberately, but silenced, mouth stitched shut, can’t speak of them and forced to live the prescribed life and timeline, dreaming with eyes open. Knowing I’m putting my avatar in a terrible situation: one of ‘being aware’ while descending into ‘hell’. I cry for awhile and feel anger at that version of ‘me’ and what it did to me – this has been so traumatizing – yet trying to understand and forgive: I’d rather be aware, so would I have done any different if I’d had the choice?
A feeling that she’d figured out how to ‘change the mv script for the next go ’round’ . ?? And that the rewritten mv script was given certain ‘interactions / experiences’ to be sure those ended up embedded in my experience ‘here’ – ie deliberately layering rewrites?
Feelings that much of the circumstances I’ve written about last year were caused by these layered rewrites (feelings of deep anger at her here, but moving on ..).
Feelings that she’s been “checking on me” – somehow actually with me – merged with me ?? – in the toughest parts to be sure they go exactly right / that I follow the rewritten path ??
At “actual earth’ experiences files NOW” – feelings of accessing these records, to help identify anomalies that this extreme rewrite and “not playing by the rules” revealed
Section 8, at “I particularly absolutely connect NOW to absolutely all types of managing approaches whose direct or indirect aim is to keep any of my scripted original simulation copied person testing experience obscured, blocked and or translated into anything less than it is scripted as being“, I changed the final phrase to:
and I get an extreme reaction / top of spine compression and pain, flooded with extreme emotions of anxiety and terror and __ (cannot describe this feeling). My body feels pushed to the highest level of extreme and is jittery from maximum tension.
Nyssa
October 5, 2017 @ 6:54 pm
The focus is immediately difficult so I skip to paragraph 8 first. The air around me feels binding and thick.
Then starting at paragraph 1, I begin to do the focus two ways: ‘as is’, then I repeat each sentence of the focus to change it to target any ‘RESEARCH I did of any simulatated copied people project’, to target my own work and research I did on “nature of reality” and the research I personally did on “simulated copied people projects” to figure out how to undo the mess they were creating. The focus was emotionally difficult, and I connected to feelings of how this research, my learnings, my growing awareness was subsequently used against me. I get feelings of intensely traumatic ‘payback’ the more I uncovered the truth – from effects applied to me, to others not believing me / not understanding me / being manipulated against me, isolating me further and further and how that was used to further and further limit my ability to stop the madness.
Feelings that I custom designed my avatar in the ‘simulated copied people projects’ I worked on to do the opposite of what the ‘accuracy testing’ parameters required, creating my ‘avatar’ to be very aware of anomalies and things that don’t add up, to be better than myself at finding out what was going on, to create its own ‘better than itself’ avatar if necessary. I feel a sense of desperation, a feeling that if I can’t stop the trainwreck, I’ll create a version of myself better equipped to stop it the next time.
I start getting massive effects again from the focus, so after Paragraph 5, I again skip to Paragraph 8. I connect to a menagerie of ‘massive beasts’ surrounding me, which Clive has said are representations of ‘personal-to-me demons”, which are actually AI’s managing FU tech. I connect to what seems like a strata of circuitry and components, like a layer of ‘shit delivery’ in the environment, with associated databases. I feel myself wrapped and bound, my mouth taped shut, which seem to be designed to silence me. I feel into these and sense monitoring AI’s relating to predictions and evaluations of what I will communicate, with threat detection sensors, and categories of ‘threats’ /worrying areas of communication trying to silence me (these feel relatively defused now compared to past attempts to communicate, so I’m able to proceed)
at “I PARTICULARLY connect to absolutely ANYTHING keeping absolutely any detail or details of any original simulation copied person testing experience obscured from myself or anyone else”
.. I get a feeling there’s something I uncovered that something is working VERY hard to keep concealed. I then move back and forth over this sentence, (both re “ANY project”, plus re “my own research”), and there’s a ‘hole’, whether a black hole, a deleted area, or a dead zone, it feels like it has ‘invisibility cloaking’, illusion to cover it up, ‘no resonance’.
I return to the focus at Paragraph 6, and get feelings of the ‘impossibility’ of what I was trying to do, the impossible mission I was constantly designing my next ‘me’ to accomplish. Feelings of intense overwhelm of trying to take on ‘the system’ alone. Feelings of becoming more and more ‘crushed’ each go ’round, each time reality was copied, and each time the new ‘copied me’ tried even harder. Feelings that each time, the current copied version of ‘me’ instructed the next copied version of ‘me’ that it was creating, how to get in touch with itself / or maybe even with ‘myself’/the original me (which may partially explain why I feel connected to all the ‘versions of me’).
I can’t get past the first few phrases of Paragraph 6, so go back to 8. I sense a strong repelling shield blasting at me. I sense that predictive AI’s have identified ‘worrying’ knowledge/data and or memories that I may connect to somewhere in Para 6 so I’m being put-off. A number of “pulls and strings” to pull me into “life activities” (thirst, bathroom, wandering attention, alternate activities to engage in). I sense tracks plotted through my home to direct where I walk, data tables defining behaviors / ‘safe’ behaviors. (Many of these seem defused though, like they’ve been partially ‘killed’ but allowed to respond to track how they work ‘together’). As I write this, I’m getting pressured pain in my forehead / head, which seems like an injection of ‘thought dampening / awareness suppressing’ substance. I sense an AI monitoring me to measure how effective these measures are. The thought dampening is getting stronger, then I’m suddenly in severe mind blank / being energetically pummeled, like something was ‘baited’ to react because the other measures weren’t effective.
When the effects subside, I try Para 8 again. This time this paragraph is even more difficult. I sense something that has an effect like a ‘jamming signal’ scrambling my abilities to perceive “any of my scripted original simulation copied person testing experience” and keep it “obscured, blocked and or translated into anything less than it is scripted as being“. Then, at “ANYTHING keeping absolutely any detail or details .. obscured“, I feel a series of rhythmic ‘sonic boom’-type pulses bombarding me.
When these effects subside, I finally return to Para 6.
This time, I connect to memories of being a “rule follower” who is in line with the project objectives. This time I am not the ‘rebel researcher’ I described above. I am ‘checking the accuracy .. of an uploaded version of myself as it lived through ANY period or specific event of it’s script defined past‘, like a good compliant worker who believes in the project and wants to do a good job.
.. and I’m saying ‘WTF?!?’
The feeling is I’m shocked by what is in my script. That ‘my avatar’ that I’m checking is living a ‘script defined past’ that is NOTHING like the lived through life of ‘rule follower/in line me’. Rather, it is along the lines of the stuff I wrote in the first part of this comment. From the perspective of my ‘rule follower / inline with project objectives’ life, this avatar of ‘me’ that I’m checking is BIZARRE.
I feel into the source, and it feels like a ‘zip’ file has been hacked into my avatar, to expand and live out (and to restore ‘me’ it seems), containing the data of what had been removed, excised from me when I had been ‘adjusted’ / corrected to be ‘in line’, and this file also seems to contain the knowledge of what was done to correct me, as well (my body is wracked with jolts as I try to access blocked trauma from the massive vr reprogramming done to ‘adjust me’ / make me comply).
The zip file also feels like it contains the prior history, not just of me, but others, everyone, before it was all rewritten. Like someone had hacked in the original data files, source files, original history of everything, for me to access, download, remember. I feel like I can now sense the background data, schematics, knowledge, ‘whatever’, of ‘everything’, of what led to what I was living in.. A vague feeling there was a prior world, before this one..?
The feelings of horror and dawning realization as ‘readjusted me’ begins to feel her world unravel, yet also start to make sense, as it begins to explain how ‘wrong’ life felt for so long, and the source of ‘covered up issues’.
My neck is stiff, and it feels like I’m being bombarded with loads of shit and wrapped with iron bands in reaction to me accessing and writing this.
Nyssa
January 9, 2018 @ 7:12 pm
started with 08
Sense components ‘hard coded’ into my fake subtle body to instill managing strategies. It feels like I was genetically modified to have hard-coded managing strategies built in to me ‘as a preventative measure’ in the event I decided to explore scripted experiences relating to VR avatar research
I still sense these components there, but they feel ‘mostly’ neutralized -like they’ve been left just active enough to watch them in action as I do this focus. I also feel deeply inflamed / sore spots from the long term effects of this hard coded management ..
As this section continues, I sense an extremely covert aspect was designed and woven into the system, that seemed designed to lock people into the worst parts of their simulation copied person testing experiences.
.. it’s a feeling that competent decent people gave good efforts, with good intentions of examining traumas and designing ways to address them – but there was a system being designed with the intention of then wrapping these competent people up in these horrible scripts (because they’ve engaged with them as part of this project), and thus locking them into these horrible experiences that aren’t theirs.
Like a bait and switch – to trap these good competent people in situations far far worse than their own scripts would dictate
00 and 01 yield very little – I probe around for what’s blocking me, and sense a block in my third eye area/ between my eyes. My head feels squeezed.
I can sense myself ‘wearing’ different personas / ‘being’ different people, trying to understand what they’re like, what they experience, how they interact with others. I feel like I’m running through bits of their scripted experiences, like a 3d video photo album
02
I sense a project ( at ” .. any other project”) that’s different – it’s designed to help people address and deal with traumas
at the end of this section, I can sense many projects, but there’s a large fuzzy blanking feeling inside my head – like they are ‘all’ being dampened / wiped / suppressed. I target the scripted effects of this hard-coded management, since it seems to be blocking me from accessing this, and my head feels like it will implode from the pressure. I hear a none-physical mind-blowingly loud screech inside my head.
03-06
mostly just painful and massive memory perception blocks in my head. Feels like these were additional managing components and strategies being activated and defused as I did the focus, or are perhaps the scripted effects of these hard-coded blocks over the long term.
07
at “..horrifying objectives”: .. my body spasms in nausea and fear when I realize how quickly these extremely competent, decent people will be rapidly enslaved by the strategies being implemented. It won’t have to be a long grinding breakdown – it will be quick and instantaneous to imprison people in these horrific scripts.
Kay Cordium
February 10, 2019 @ 12:28 am
Been trying to give this exercise a go for awhile but keep getting interrupted. I finally sat down to do it, and suddenly the house was a cacophony.
Skipped ahead to section 8 and I get a feeling of someone deliberately writing a very customized security program specifically for me, to keep me from uncovering any of the info. And a feeling that even the results of doing the exercise, if I can ever get around to doing it, will reveal only a heavily edited and whitewashed version, like those people even created a customized and heavily limited “intention exercise narrative” for me to experience, to make sure I can’t access the truth.
Clive
February 23, 2019 @ 6:08 pm
All regulars/AAH sign up’s this is an Update . . . (I also ‘now’ already posted more comment updates with more ‘WHATS GOING ON NOW’ information below this one ) sorry I’ve been extra busy, in fact I’d not be writing this now except certain urgent things need to be ‘addressed’!!!
The comment immediately above is written by Kay Corduim I’ve had another 2 comments by himself another from a Gwen and another from an Andrew Thompson, I’ve no idea if they know each other or not BUT either as a group or separately they all worked with focuses presented here BUT all of them actually massively changed what each focus targetted (ALL EFFECTIVELY DOING THE SAME) . . . that then specifically gave ‘shit networks’ backdoor access to myself, those working with me as well as anyone else recently/regularly doing focuses here. The first of these was done by Andrew Thompson on the 7th of this month and coincided with some of the worst torturous shit being inflicted on those directly working with me . . . I don’t mind the focuses here being slightly adapted BUT you’d have had to have been mentally retarded to not realise the significance of what you were targeting, in that we’ve 3 mentally retarded people within a few days doing the same is astounding . . . the last was by Kay Corduim whom has the audacity to mention in his comment I quote ” . . . In my research of copied people projects . . . ” . . . one hopes that he’ll spend the next 50 years or so researching the possibilities of some useless pseudo researcher idiot doing things to provide back door access to all those focused on this project because he’s missed out on researching the BEING EASILY MANAGED BY SOPHISTICATED SHIT POSSIBILITY TO DO INCREDIBLY STUPID THINGS WHILE IMAGINING YOUR CLEVER!!!
He/they did this despite that I do mention regularly on this site the extreme ‘MANAGEMENT’ of EVERYTHING I/WE ARE DOING HERE!!!
He/they seem to have completely missed these warnings . . .
Basically he and the others we’re from my perspective ‘puppeted’ and made to do things 1000% detrimental to what I’m trying to do, the ramifications of which I’m still dealing with . . . they’ve basically made an already bad situation with respect to aggressive SHIT even worse . . .
Please note I’ve deleted the comments they all left without then being posted and actually I won’t present these as others may actually be made to think that doing the same thing might be a good idea too . . .
So, this years “SABOTEURS OF THE YEAR OR PERHAPS THE CENTURY AWARD” go to KC/G & AT . . .
————————————————————————————————————
We’ve not had anything from MV’s or levels above ‘our’ EAAS’s levels as ‘shit’ providing over protecting/maintaining agendas for within EAAS shit for about 2+ weeks now . . . which is probably why the remaining within EAAS shit puppeted people here to help with the ‘sabotage the hackers’ protocol/efforts!!!
We’re still dealing with some within EAAS shit (all the remaining pseudo new age angles that had inversions wired in) and deeper investigations of what I call ‘subtle impressed shit’ SIS packages which are packages of each individuals ‘shit/personal data’ which recently we’ve found has the equivalent of ‘malware’ infecting itself that’s preventing this from being properly understood/being disabled/is blocking access to personal data ‘stores/stashes’ . . .
Flynn
February 24, 2019 @ 3:19 am
ahh interesting man. Nice work.
Been reading your sites for ages. Your log is rad.
With this comment there’s like a big think tank hovering over your words. Kinda weird. Seems like it’s making decisions trying to influence you. On the phrase “then specifically gave ‘shit networks’ backdoor access to myself” it seems like it’s got some weird shit going on. It’s like the rest of the comment slips along the think tank’s path from there. Got some goblin behind it.. like someone’s minion is making sure the think tank does its job. You’re saying those mates did this, so ok yeah that’s cool. Good job. You know best. But man this sure seems like it’s doing some crazy smoke and mirrors trick here. It seems like flip flop shit fingering those mates to divert suspicion from something else. Crazy eh?
Good job. Rock on.
Clive
February 24, 2019 @ 2:13 pm
Well, Flynn the closer we get to the ‘core’ of the remaining inverted new age ‘shit’ the more determined/extreme it all gets and particularly with resect to its reactions against us, so it’s ‘now’ throwing everything and the kitchen sink/definitely no holds barred . . .
Have you heard of the ‘brain in a vat (BIAV)’ idea? When I first started looking into simulation angles I was astonished to find some BIAV ‘nonsense’ associated with simulation/fake reality possibilities . . . it made no sense to me . . . however I think about 7/8 months ago we actually ‘hit’ a BIAV within our EAAS. Basically a BIAV is ‘someone’ whose essentially reduced to a functioning ‘brain’ whom is then wired into and is run/rendered as an environmental component i.e. they don’t have a ‘personal processing/rendering unit’ holding all their data and ‘processing/defining’ each ‘frame’ of themselves within the fake MV system they are defined within the environment as a brain in a vat/tank . . . it’s basically a very effective way of completely hiding a ‘controlling’ intelligence . . . now as I’ve very vague memories as a teenager of watching bit’s of a very old German film of scientists working on a brain in a vat that was wired up to all sorts of things . . . it would seems to me that this was ‘likely’ associated with n-a . . . z-i research . . . (as I’ve already mentioned I read a lot and keep up with a lot of interesting angles of ‘information/everything’) so in the middle of last year I was astonished to come across an obituary (search for ‘Charles Krauthammer: Armchair Warrior’) about a quadriplegic (i.e. he’s only actually got a ‘functional’ head) German guy called ‘krauthammer’ and his absolute war mongering ‘attitudes’!!!
CREATIVE DUPLICATED REALITY EXPERIENCE CONVERSION!!!! If you read the article on the BIAV guy that I mention above you will also find out that the ‘accident’ that resulted in his quadriplegic state happened because he dived into a large tank of water that turned out to be very shallow!!! This is a very good example of how a duplicated population simulation creatively changes some/many original experiences into an alternate way less revealing/obvious version within our own reality version here!!!! So, rather than this ‘guy’ actually being ‘actually’ turned into a wired up brain kept in a tank (which with the technology slow down would not have been feasible 40/50 years ago (coincidentally around the time I’d have watched that film)) so, he’s made to have an accident that ends up with him just having a body that’s only functional from the neck up (which also ties in with one of my polls making it clear that if the person you are simulated had an accident/lived through something ‘life changing’ you’ll be guided/made to experience an equivalent experience here (you cannot escape/avoid it)!!!!
So, ‘today’ we’re actually currently dealing with and have already two thirds ‘hacked’ a ‘wired’ into the core processor area EAAS version of (very likely) the very same ‘head’ – hahahahah . . . so, your ‘THINK TANK’ or ‘THINKING TANK’ is likely a ‘representation’ of this ‘brain in a vat/tank’ . . . it would then be a ‘thinking source within a tank’ wouldn’t it . . . ‘plus’ we’ve already identified two more ‘shit’ sets above this which are desperately trying to protect the BIAV/thinking tank and keep it all going/functional . . . so what you write above is actually pretty accurate, the BIAV ‘THINKING TANK’ will in a sense be ‘hovering over me’ and be desperately trying to figure out how to ‘suppress/get me/stop us’ . .
Clive
February 24, 2019 @ 3:59 pm
If anyone wants to live dangerously/help confuse the shrinking brain in a vat/thinking tank shit version then the latest/most recent/useful focus to use is below . . .
“I connect to absolutely anything/everything/all items/components that are directly or indirectly contributing in the slightest to (list all the ‘shit’ that’s been and is happening to you recently) . . . I connect to absolutely all items/components that are directly or indirectly in the slightest contributing to monitor and or maintain anything that is in the slightest contributing to absolutely anything contributing to maintain myself in any of these specific effects and or any other effects that I’ve forgotten about and or also any items/components that are in the slightest associated with and or part of any system/network that has been/is now and or that would in the future directly or indirectly contribute in the slightest to maintain/absolutely maintain, absolutely any items/component’s and or network/systems of these and or any components and or important ‘functions/functioning’ associated with these, including anything/any ‘things’ that just ‘temporarily’ exist and or just temporarily influence to achieve/support/anything of anything of this . . . and or I connect to anything else that in the slightest has been, is now and or that would or could in the future directly or indirectly contribute to support absolutely maintaining absolutely anything dedicated to contribute to maintain myself in absolutely any of my usual shit effects/symptoms and or particularly of effects/symptoms that are specific to myself/any of my splits and or anyone else and or any that are similar and or equivalent to those I’ve already ‘ever’ experienced in the past . . . “
Just parts of the latest/todays update from Tom using the above is below (AA’s = Aids and Advantages = types of malware components built into the core processor logic that ‘support/maintain/allow ‘shit’ to working in hidden/difficult to track/understand ways) . . .
“I connect to layers of barbed wire which are being projected into me, then to many shaking and destabilising resonances, then something which turns around me like a wheel and feeds me different images. There’s also something which is projecting images into me. Now it feels like there are a hundred different self-altering systems active simultaneously, all working to transmit shit into me in different ways . . . I get the sense that there’s something locked onto my core data which is working to fix it and prevent certain changes. I see staggered shit delivery systems which are integrated with sequences of AA’s, so that each set of AA’s transmits data a certain ‘distance’, then another set of AA’s takes over and transmits it further . . . I engage with smothering waves of syrup, then feel an intense choking smog around me, so that I can’t think or see anything. Then it feels like I’m contained in a suit of thorns. It feels like something is retroactively altering the shit delivery pathways used to pass shit into me – it doesn’t seem possible to trace them. Next I see a loom, and this seems to be weaving a cocoon around me . . . I get the sense of many ‘pinpricks’ of data appearing inside me in random places, then it feels like aspects of my data are being ‘inverted’ / turned inside out. I have the impression of blankets activating under TXYZ conditions, and trauma matrixes activating under other TXYZ conditions. There’s also what looks like a timeline with sequences of influences which have already been pre-defined to impact me at specific times”
Flynn
February 24, 2019 @ 4:38 pm
Roger that.
Read your exercise – cool you have one that doesn’t access like those others! – and I see a big brain ahaha. It’s surrounded by handlers, like stockmen herding it. The brain seems mouldy, black bits all through it. The exercise itself seems mouldy too. Like the words have an infection. Whoa.
Good luck with that! Haha Nice work.
Clive
February 24, 2019 @ 6:04 pm
Click here for the actual starting comment update for feb 23rd (to the third comment above written by me//the site ‘positioning’ for comments is being sabotaged)
Actually in having another think, it’s likely that what we have in our external population here as these very, very strange ‘Think Tanks’ are very likely ‘representing’ it’s original external population policy advisors and specifically with respect to the original population we are a copy of!!!
This would make sense to me because I’ve not ever seen any TT recommendations that I’ve thought we’re sensible or that would ‘actually’ significantly help the majority of the population . . . in this respect these external ‘visible’ TT people have very likely been converted into internal invisible ‘advisers’ within the core processor system/logic as AI advisors/groups of AI advisors . . . which then implies that it would have some of these AI ‘think tank’ advisors trying to figure out/help stop the current erosion of abilities/functioning . . . hence then Flynn seeing what he described as a ‘Think Tank’ peering at me!!!!
Annabelle
March 4, 2019 @ 2:26 am
Hi Clive – I knew something was going on in early February as all heck broke loose for two weeks. I had extreme anxiety/panic attacks, fatigue and paralyzed with fear, and felt like I was being followed. I still have very bizarre driving experiences where a car will follow me for a while and then disappear. One car had a license plate that said “Think” and the next car had a sign on it that said “Matrix”. Then I was driving down a small road, all alone, and a large 10 ft sheet of plastic started blowing towards the road. I did not want that to get caught in my wheels so I slowed down. The plastic slowed down. I went faster and the plastic went faster. I then realize it was planned to hit me, so I went very slowly and gauged it coming towards me, and then slammed on the car brakes and it blew past me, missing me by 6 inches. Disappointed to see the latest version of ransomware is named Annabelle! While I was typing this comment the auto spell check changed “I” to “AI”. Will try the new focus.
Megan
March 4, 2019 @ 11:41 pm
Love the new exercise. I just moved to a new department at work where there is more people and responsibility, and after two weeks have been feeling a lot more anxiety, uncertainty and being ignored and outcast from the people I’m working with. Using the focus to target these feelings last night, I found myself facing something that I can only describe as a fat, belligerent mother-like thing trying to control me and keep me isolated. I don’t feel it as badly as I did yesterday, but I don’t think it’s completely gone yet.
Megan
March 17, 2019 @ 1:11 am
I’m watching Hannibal, and I feel that mother-like thing trying to sandbox me and keep me from watching the series. Granted, it’s not a series I would normally watch (I usually avoid these kinds of shows because I usually feel a great deal of grief over watching people being killed senselessly,) but anytime a scene becomes too gruesome or violent I can feel that mother-thing lingering at the edge of my thoughts saying ‘let’s go watch this, or do this instead. These are better for you.’
Clive
March 24, 2019 @ 5:59 pm
Hi Megan, your previous comment and this one, and specifically of your reactions to this series suggest that you are ‘simulating’ someone that was connected to this ‘group’ i.e. was part of the research and setting up of interfacing either for individuals and or a group or population to engage/access the physical . . . I’m getting that you are one of the ‘fairy/plant’ form types and ‘therefore’ may have ‘plant/healer’ leanings!!!
Piano or any ‘music’ generating efforts are part of ‘representations’ of the ‘resonance’ broadcasts between subtle beings hence ‘Hannibal’ whom represents the ‘interfacing team leader’ and whom then would be central to the broadcasts and more so harmonious/everyone working well together ones would ‘react’ to ‘discordant’ interactions/broadcasts which in the film is represented by the ‘poor’ orchestra member player!!!!
This: “The feeling kind of reminds me of the Futurama movie, The Beast with a Billion Backs, where Evo interfaced with the human population by inserting his tentacles into the base of the humans’ skull.” you left in your first comment here which also suggests connections to interfacing and or perhaps feeling that your own interfacing is compromised!!! . . . and this from another comment: “I’ve been criticized a lot in my life for being too sensitive about things.” all of those that would be part of a population interfacing effort would have to be very sensitive to do this correctly and ‘well’!!!
Megan
March 26, 2019 @ 10:14 am
Being a plant/fairy type would explain why living in Arizona felt so off and disconnecting to me while being in Minnesota (which was where I was born,) or preferring to be in green, forested areas. Parks or gardens of any kind kind of throw me off though. They are beautiful enough, but seem staged or fake. Thing is, I’m also kind of a chicken when it comes to going out into nature. It’s something I’m working on though.
Your interfacing comment struck a cord though, especially with what has been going on with me recently. I’m feeling more impatient to get out of here than usual, but it is bordering on frustrating for me. I’m actually spending more of my time on my days off using your focuses, and working on any issues I’ve had to deal with (I don’t have much of an interesting in anything outside of going to work and using your focuses.) But recently those feelings of, ‘I want to get out of here, I want to go home,’ got extremely pushy and frustrating. I thought, ‘This isn’t hard, this shouldn’t be that hard. Honestly, if I want to leave I should just be able to, it was or is that easy.’ I’m sorry this keeps coming up, I know you and your teams have to be thorough in dealing with this fucked up reality we are in, but no matter how many times I reason with myself, that angry and impatient part of me isn’t happy with it. I honestly hate this body. I try to take care of it, but it seems more like a burden than anything else. I’ve lost a lot of weight since changing my diet and know I should exercise, but have no motivation or interest in doing so. I mutter, I want to kill myself out loud all the time, but I’m not suicidal.
Actually, I remember having a panic attack within the first two or three weeks after starting the AAHS service. I mean at first I was energetic and happy, going for walks and wanting to do things, but then suddenly it was a completely reversal. You could also say I’m extremely skeptical and paranoid of any sort of happiness or joy I feel here. I felt like I wanted to force myself out of my body. I kept internally shouting, ‘Let me out, I want to go home!’ And through this entire episode, I was feeling a lot of sensations in my third eye area, until I managed to calm down.
As for being a healer, I’ve always wanted to help people. I had this idea of create a safe, supportive space where people can cry and vent their ‘negative’ emotions without being judged or condemned for it, but now I just feel too burnt out for it. Besides, I don’t think there is a thing I could create in this ‘reality’ that would make a difference.
Sorry this is so long, and thank you for your time.
Trent
April 12, 2019 @ 2:17 pm
Hi Megan/Clive, I’ve had ‘suicidal but don’t want to kill myself’ feelings on and off since I was 13, and around a year ago these ramped up significantly along with ‘i want to leave/get out of here/go home’ thoughts and feelings (i’ve had those for a few years) and these persisted (I allowed them to persist/agreed with them) until around 3 months ago. I was basically in a state of not wanting to live or do anything with my life, not really interested in anything, not taking many actions to try and make things better for myself, accompanied by a replaying over and over of lots of anger/hurt/feeling duped about this place being a sim/shithole, I had the internal screamings/despair/get me the heck out of here! stuff too and rarely had any good/fun/interesting feelings. I eventually had to confront these feelings since if I didn’t want to kill myself and if I wasn’t leaving any time soon then why am I putting so much focus on these thoughts/feelings? I started questioning what it is that I wanted to experience/do once i’m out of here? and somehow I hadn’t spent any time thinking about that before, well the only decent answer I could come up with was “I want to be free to have ‘fun’ exploring different vibes/feelings/states/perceptions etc without either being stuck in shit/angry/depressed states or otherwise feeling emotionally dead/apathetic all the time” – well that was a doh! moment as I realised I should be putting a lot more effort into doing this here/now. I feel that the ‘suicidal/get me out of here’ stuff was for me a form of escapism, being unable/unwilling to deal with anything and looking for something external of myself for relief. I still have some anger/hurt about the sim coming up every now and then but i’m no longer suicidal or too stressed about leaving.
For physical excercise I started stretching a few months ago and found that it triggers a lot of ‘yawning’ – I believe Clive wrote in a comment somewhere that yawning is representative of ‘energetic release’. I’ll basically feel some ‘tension/crappy sensation’ somewhere in my body and react to it by lightly stretching that area out (sometimes having to hold the stretch for 30 seconds++) which then triggers yawning after which the sensation goes away, and then i’ll notice another crappy sensation either in the same area or elsewhere and i’ll move on to that to trigger more yawning. A few times i’ve spent 30+ minutes just continuously yawning one after the other, kinda weird but fun and afterwards I always feel better/lighter/freer. I also realised that when holding light stretches it’s somewhat easier for me to open up to crappy feelings and let go of my aversions to them, to go ‘into’ the feelings triggering a kind of trauma release (it’s easier for me to do this than when not holding a stretch). I’ve also noticed than if i’m not paying much attention while stretching, if i’m watching a movie for example while doing it, I won’t experience much at the time but a few hours later i’ll get hit by some shitty feelings that I need to work through.
Megan you also wrote “I’m extremely skeptical and paranoid of any sort of happiness or joy I feel here.” and until recently i’d been feeling similar. I’d be paranoid about whether the feelings were me/real/natural or whether something was just messing with me, but I eventually noticed that rather than spending time really questioning this to figure out an answer, i’d just shut down and close off to the feelings instead like ‘better safe than sorry’. Funnily enough I wasn’t so averse to shitty/angry/depressed feelings and it was easy to experience those.
Also I feel like I should mention that 1-2 months ago I realised that i’ve been messed with to see my weaknesses as my strengths and vice versa, as an example i’d be pissed off, hating the world and not wanting anything to do with it but i’d see this as correct/a good thing because ‘the world is terrible and bad things always happen’ kinda not seeing how shitty my state was, how messed up I was and closed off to everything and etc.
Clive
April 26, 2019 @ 6:53 pm
Hi Trent/EVERYONE, yea, it’s very difficult to take and then to hold/maintain a decent attitude/stance when you know it’s all a stupid/fake game AND the odds are stacked in others favour . . . I’m likely ‘fueled/maintained’ to keep going by having a background of something like ‘smouldering anger and outrage’ at what we’re all forced to live within and also with respect to what it is dedicated to try and do to us all . . . overall recently, I’ve had some direct and indirect feedback from different people over the last 2/3 weeks and for none betrayer/KeyPeople they seem to be making some definite progress with respect to all sorts of issues . . . unfortunately the B/KP main locked down people set are still most of the time being kept in their ‘lock down/usual shit effects’!!!!
Clive
April 27, 2019 @ 5:28 pm
Hi Trent . . . after writing the reply to Megan’s recent comment that was a reply to this comment and then re-reading yours again I just did a scan for EAAS workers having a peripheral network to PREVENT THEM FROM ENJOYING THEMSELVES i.e. this would have made the entire EAAS work environment austere/business like/all work and no play . . . all going on for a very long time . . . I get hits for this line too . . . so, you/Megan let me know if these types of feelings are still around say on Monday/a couple of days time!!!
Megan
April 27, 2019 @ 4:26 pm
Hey Trent,
Thank you for the response and the advice. It’s very much appreciated and you’re right that I have to take responsibility for my life and do something now instead of wait for it all to be over. But in its own way, I can’t really ignore these feelings because they are generally a precursor to my menstrual cycle. Kind of took a line from Clive’s book about betrayal and diabetes and applied it to my own delayed and often very stressful and emotionally turbulent menstrual cycles. It turns out I can regulate it pretty well (it may not be the same time every month but it is at least happening once a month,) and the flow feels more natural as opposed to when I was taking birth control pills or even herbal supplements to regulate it (which failed the last time I tried to use them.) Another thing is even if I try not to think about these things or ignore them something generally happens in my life to force me into these feelings (or what’s underneath them anyway.) It’s funny actually, I was thinking about the source/origin of these suicidal/hate life feelings, and in remember Clive’s article about having a second set of memories and emotions I tried applying this to what I felt and the suicidal emotions separated from my own emotions and I saw my original self suspended in a containment unit with her arms trapped above her head fighting to get out. As for the stretching and exercise, now that the weather is better I try to go out and walk for a few hours a day, but your comment on the stretching reminded me of a book I wanted to get on the subject. Thanks again for replying.
Clive
April 27, 2019 @ 5:13 pm
Right Megan, now that you’ve mentioned the ‘menstruation/menstrual’ aspects specifically which for many females ‘HERE’ would require many built in conversions to handle the many different androgynous species being transformed into a human ‘female’ form ‘here’ all of which would offer a lot of opportunities to sneakily wire in EXTRA shit!!!! In doing a scan now I’m getting a lot of definite hits for ‘extras’ built into these conversion areas (I.e. to define and or impact your mood/temperament)!!!!
Trent
April 29, 2019 @ 12:23 pm
Hey Clive, i’ve noticed some changes. Yesterday I was able to feel some new/different resonances/feelings in my gut areas (specifically the area below the belly button and also the area just below the “xiphoid process”) not sure how to describe them but ‘bright/good/enjoyable/’high vibrational’ with a kind of piercing/intensity’ to them, also my heart/chest opened up to a ‘wholeness/contentment’ type feeling which then triggered a kind of ‘active/buzzing’ sensation extending from below the belly button up to the top of my head, which lasted about half an hour or so. When I listened to some music I noticed that there was a slight but noticeable increase in the range of feelings (I don’t know how to describe a lot of what I feel/I don’t know ‘what’ a lot of the feelings/resonances are, I just ‘feel them’ and figure out whether I like them or not/whether they have a positive or negative effect on me, etc but i’d describe the feelings as ‘good/fun/interesting/enjoyable/expressive’) and I was also able to feel more deeply than usual. Also when i’ve been finding something ‘funny’ and i’m laughing I notice that those feelings are deeper, last longer and they feel more ‘genuine’.
The biggest change i’ve noticed has been related to social interactions – I have ‘weird’ reactions during these such as not really being interested in people, being distant and aloof, it can be difficult to pay attention to people, difficult to pick up on/feel into/evaluate a person’s ‘feelings/state/etc’ so a lack of empathy, sometimes I have trouble with eye contact or even looking at people, if they talk to me i’d be thinking/feeling ‘i don’t care about this/don’t want to do this/not interested/go away’ (even if i’m ‘wanting’ to interact with the person), difficult to feel any ‘good/positive/happy/enjoying myself’ type feelings, trouble coming up with anything to talk about so I usually let other people do most of the talking, also social axiety and feeling out of place/like i don’t belong – of these only ‘feeling out of place/like I don’t belong’ seems like it might be gone (not 100% sure) but all of them seem to be better/reduced.
Also if i’m on my own and I ‘think of’ someone then for most people I have these ‘caring/sharing/friendly/loving/etc’ type feelings come up and i’d have an automatic reaction to these like “what is this? why am I feeling like these? I don’t want this” and would then shut the feelings out, well that ‘seems’ to be gone and I can open up to these feelings and aren’t ‘worried’ about them now. Note that this is when i’m on my own though, it’s way harder for me to feel anything when i’m actually with people.
Also a small thing but I was picking up on this vibe/feeling that was either very similar to or maybe the same as, the vibe I get from the ‘backdrop/setting’ of some city-based futuristic dystopia type movies (blade runner, ghost in the shell, etc) this kind of ‘dark/bleak/professional/soulless’ type feeling.
Clive
May 1, 2019 @ 12:24 pm
Hi Trent/everyone, well some people seem to be experiencing definite ‘improving’ changes while others are still being kept in lock down/bad shit (over the last week or so)!!! Some of the top people in different cultures (within the original multiverse (MV) that we are a ‘representative’ copy of) set up a VR type ‘forum/meeting/exchange’ space where those with access to this could remotely interact and or discuss ‘whatever’!!! The ‘initiator’ and main designer of this was/is ‘Rose’ (who occasionally leaves comments here).
So, this ‘Shared Space’ system in then being seen as a threat was remotely accessed by ‘unfriendly others/the ‘usual’ suspects specifically to cause problems to all those whom had access to it. So, the use of this remote meeting/interaction space for all those with access to it was progressively messed with so that over the long term all those with with access to this would be made to more and more keep away from others/everyone else with access to this i.e. over time there’d be less and less discussions/collaborations those connected to this would more and more ‘keep to themselves’.
So, Trent, you seem to have had peripheral access to this (hence you’ve been kept away from others/been made to keep to yourself), however since getting this comment ‘Rose’ has been put into very bad shit (and still is) as she’s got the most connections/was the most involved with this Shared Space tech (the efforts against her have been so bad that she’s basically been living like a hermit and avoiding people/everyone for years) . . .
The bottom line at this point is that the entire ‘core/base functioning’ of the EAAS has been designed in a base sense to have backdoors into ‘everything’ that defines ‘us’ and particularly (as per usual) with respect to ‘key/worrying’ people so, unfortunately it’s taking ages to track/understand and then undo/negate these efforts!!!!
Trent
April 29, 2019 @ 1:19 pm
I forgot to mention that in the “Exercises” tab at the top of the page, under “Advanced Soul Exploration” the Exercise 9 page isn’t there.
Clive
May 1, 2019 @ 1:37 pm
OK Trent, I just added it to the ‘Exercises’ menu it took ages/always does as the menu is massive/extremely slow to respond, Exercise 9 is now also added to the full list of all exercises page here too now!!!
I’ve also been updating realitywalker.com and there is a new page up here: An Example of Interacting, Directing and Changing the Weather at will and the front page/pages have been re-written/updated . . . I’ve also been updating others on that site (listed in ‘Latest’) and in finding another I’d half written years ago I’m in the middle of finishing this one BUT A) it’ll go up here as it’s giving more evidence of subtle ‘implants/enhancements’ and B) it’s already 2/3 times longer as in finishing writing it I’m YET AGAIN making more connections and realising more and so rather then being about 2 pages of A4 it’ll likely be 5/6 when it’s finished . . .
Kyra
April 29, 2019 @ 1:48 pm
I feel interwoven to you Clive and your people like we are all part of a circular tapestry, a ring of people, swapping emotions and trauma. It feels like you’re wired into me and I’ve been intertwined by tendrils of your energy like a plants roots and that I’ve been meshed into you too.
Clive
May 1, 2019 @ 12:34 pm
Hi Kyra, you’re likely a duplicate one of these that we’re part of the original (in the MV this one is ‘representing/a duplicate of’) remote viewers/hackers of the EAAS that we are in now (which my form was ‘nominal’ leader of), as they/we were in the original MV all being remotely monitored (because we were seen as a treat to those designing this ‘shit’ EAAS we’re now stuck in) so, these remote ‘spying/shit’ networks (and all alternate backups/versions of these) are now in the process of being more directly investigated and dealt with/disengaged!!!
Megan
May 2, 2019 @ 5:04 am
Hey Clive, sorry I’m late getting back to you but I wanted to see how well I handled being at work, the place where I experience the most interaction with people, after the changes you’ve made.
These last two days have been the most relaxed I have felt since I have moved to my new area at work. Before, even after being there for a few months and getting to know and used to everyone I was always still feeling anxious and on edge around others, afraid any little thing I did would set someone off. I also realized that when it came to my own personally interactions and relationships, I always treated people very strict and professionally for the most part, always trying to avoid conflict and unhappiness at any cost even at the cost of my happiness and integrity.
There was an incident at work before this last weekend that I, after replaying the events in my mind, realized was specifically played out to discredit me and make me look bad. Coincidentally, this has also happened to me before in other places and other groups before that either isolated me or forced me to leave. I realize now, after reading Trent’s reply and reading your reply to Trent’s reply, that a lot of these anxious and frantic feelings were an attempt to make me give up and go back into hiding.
How well I confront frustrating people and situations; and how relaxed and accepting I am of being open and honest with people about how I see things and how I really feel about them remains to be experienced.
I realize now to that most anything I have done in my life was always done to make someone else happy whether it be work or even in my own personal time and projects. Even in my writing or any creative efforts, which I realize were all work and no play as well, was always done to impress someone else.
Creativity wise, I feel, deep in my gut, that I could write anything I wanted, and it wouldn’t negatively impact me in an emotional way. I have had it where I would write about how one character would betray another (even though it was all a misunderstanding and a lot of miscommunication on both their parts) I still personally felt like I was the betrayer in this case, that I personally hurt another, and was left trying to figure out why I lost all the motivation and enjoyment. Another thing is I feel that I can be more creative and freeform with my fanfic ideas instead of strictly adhering to the canon of the fandom I’m writing it. I was sometimes so obsessed with being in canon that even though I had thought up an idea that I absolutely fell in love with I would reject it right away if it didn’t and couldn’t match up within the universe of the original fandom.
There’s a lot that I feel I have to process through, which feels much easier to do now as well. My menstrual cycle has not started yet (which these last two times started within 2-3 days from a major update from you,) but otherwise life feels a lot more enjoyable and relaxed overall. Thank you so much.
Clive
May 2, 2019 @ 1:11 pm
That would make sense Megan as I realised that the person you’re a copy of likely also had peripheral access to the Shared Space setup (same as Trent) and that your ‘interaction’ manipulations/problems would also be due to the SS tech being compromised. They’re obviously ‘still’ trying to untangle Rose from this as she’s been unable to let me know how she’s doing i.e. she’s likely still be in bad SS shit!!!!
jane
May 3, 2019 @ 6:40 pm
I have so many thoughts regarding this thread/conversation in the last 2 weeks or so. Thank you to all for speaking out. I too feel isolated, I too feel depressed, but it’s been getting better. Also I have a hard time typing out comments on this site, so I organized my thoughts on a word processor to help me. I’m feeling panicked just typing this out now and only feel panicked when typing.
I’ve always been told I am ‘too sensitive’. I have a hard time taking in criticism and praise. I rather not be noticed. I have a small voice, small body. I’m the one who might come in second, at best, if I am any good at something. I rarely speak up, rarely ask questions. (Even if I really want to ask a question, I will physically feel hindered as if my arms were too heavy to raise my hand.) I don’t stand up for myself or even others. I do defend other people being bullied, but only if they personally ask me for help. I can be leader, only if there is no one else. I’ve also had many lives where I have been part of a resistance, many lives I have been tortured and killed. Seriously, I don’t want to interact with people, but my job is to interact with people every day. But, when unemployed, I will just want to sit at home and do nothing but stare at my computer or phone screen. Or if I interact with people where I don’t have a defined role, I will act in ways that people think I am weird.
I’ve been wondering, for years, how I am connected to the EEAS. What was/is my role here. My career is not connected in any way with software or computers. But, I am good at reading people and getting better with practice. I sometimes will watch a movie/TV show and read the actors to see if they are ‘authentic’ in portraying the emotions required by the script. Maybe i was brought in to see how authentic the virtual reality script was in portraying emotions?