How Much Self Awareness Do You have of your ENTIRE ‘SELF’ & your INNER STATES/CONDITIONS?

"Mandela Effect Anomalous Memories Investigation: This 18 page series (full list here) uses my own Walkers Crisps Mandela Effect experience to demonstrate how discussions of ANY/ALL Mandela Effect Experiences are all themselves consistently anomalous, specifically because essential/basic/important information relevant/central/critical to the 'ANOMALIES/EXPERIENCES' being discussed aren't even mentioned. In contrast, this series examines/evaluates memory 'composition' as well as important memory recall factors (feelings, emotions, internal states, inner sensations & awareness's (plus senses)) in attempts to not only 'highlight' these discussion anomalies while simultaneously providing comprehensive evaluation and analysis of the Mandela Effect memory anomalies, while even mentioning other apparently 'invisible/impossible to become aware of' memory anomalies too!!!"

Let me give you an example of my EXPERIENCE in terms of scale of effort and persistence over a long period of time for myself to very gradually become ‘fully’ aware of the origins of some persistent feelings/internal states that were associated with different aspects/areas of my physical body which were negatively impacting my bodies ‘normal’ functioning!!!

In my mid teens I can remember an incident in the school yard where a ‘bully’ started to talk to me and then progressively ‘threaten’ me. After a few minutes of ‘threats’ to which I was unresponsive he eventually hit me as hard as he could in the stomach. Interestingly this full force ‘blow’ resulted in him either spraining or breaking his wrist which had him doubled up in extreme pain.

As my stammer/speech block during my teens had me in consistent stress/anxiety/tension pretty much all of the time such then I was seen as ‘nervous’, I was in fact constantly/consistently on edge at school and particularly because I was an ‘obvious’ target for any bullying types.

This incident made me aware that my stomach/abdomen area was literally equivalent to a steel door (I kid you not). So, this ‘hit me a hard as possible’ punch to my stomach/abdomen hardly registered (I literally hardly noticed it) and this wasn’t because I regularly worked out or ‘pumped iron’ this was a side effect of some very extreme internal ‘body’ stress/tension, possibly made more ‘tense/rigid’ by being threatened. However, my entire body was like this, he’d have had the same problem hitting me pretty much anywhere except perhaps my face.

So, my entire body was permanently absolutely solid, such that (unbelievably) if I very determinedly pushed the end of a finger anywhere into my arm the skin would barely depress at all (it was almost like I was wearing invisible armour). This ‘anomalous’ being ‘seriously punched by a bully but not being hurt/impacted by this incident’ was the first time that this/these odd ‘facts/aspects’ of myself/my body ‘REALLY’ started to register.

So, in my mid teens I found myself given the opportunity to ‘vaguely’ became aware that ‘something’ of my own body/functioning very definitely wasn’t right/normal. That certain factors of myself/my own body’s functioning/state were not ‘as they should be’, never mind that I had no idea why I was like this or even how I ‘could be’ like this never mind what I could or should do about this!!!!

Are you aware that ‘WHOM’ and HOW YOU ‘ARE’ in ‘ANY’ present moment/experience is the outcome of all of your accumulated past experiences. As this is a ‘FACT’ then you it should then be obvious that you can only understand yourself as you are ‘NOW’ if you have a comprehensive understanding of your own past history and experiences!!!

In this respect you actually only ‘have a chance’ to understand you/yourself AS YOU ARE NOW, in your current present ‘IF’ you actually know enough as well as understand enough of your full past IN GREAT DETAIL!!!!

So, in addition to my own ongoing daily self orientation, self investigation program then in my late/mid 20’s I got involved with a meditation group which had me regularly meditating for 1 and more often 2 hours each day over a period of probably 4 years.

I will ’emphasise’ here that this ‘meditation’ was ‘extra’ to my own continuous efforts of orientating to, becoming aware of and tracking what was going on within my ‘self’ and my internal/inner ‘landscape’. I ‘now’ feel that many/most (perhaps all) forms of meditation are either:

1. Overly focused on relaxation/stress relief, while often . . .
2. Not actually being in the slightest orientated to or facilitating any open ‘personal’ self awareness/self exploration per say, never mind of facilitating . . .
3. Any in-depth awareness of your internal states/feelings/sensations etc. etc. and or what these relate to experiences from your past . . .
4. While often also coming with prepackaged ‘road maps’ that essentially pre-define what you should be doing, aiming for and or what outcomes you can expect . . .
5. AS WELL AS of also often offering pre-defined, pre-packaged explanations of what you may encounter, and how to interpret these . . .

Basically, ‘Meditations’ as well as other ‘purported’ to be facilitating Self Awareness approaches and practices are ‘NOT’ about ‘OPEN’ exploration of your own SELF & PAST HISTORY/PAST EXPERIENCES.

Many practices/approaches that ‘offer’ or that could be construed as offering or facilitating ‘self awareness’ are actually often just facilitating the duplication of a specific awareness or state/spiritual state (or combination of these) that those that originally developed a particular practice/approach themselves achieved in the past (and quite often in the very DISTANT PAST).

It’s a ‘fact’ that ‘most’ people . . . and I have to emphasise that this includes people that would classify themselves as being ‘self aware’, actually have virtually no ‘real’ self awareness of themselves AT ALL.

Over likely centuries, perhaps even 1000’s of years we’ve been more and more orientated ‘likely’ from the being ‘genuinely’ self aware and automatically in touch with our internal states and the past/personal/historical influences impacting these/ourselves . . . to the absolute opposite . . . in fact, this ‘re-orientation’ is now so utterly extreme that many, perhaps most people spend their time being constantly disturbed and distracted by external prompts/emphases . . . even worse, ‘most’ people at the present time are in a permanent ‘automated/automatic response’ mode/state . . .

. . . while not actually being aware of how utterly disengaged they are from themselves . . .

What would be the benefits of our population gradually being orientated so that they are pretty much all, pretty much completely out of touch with their ‘internal’ selves, inner states, ‘who they are/themselves’ while very often also actually not being aware that THIS IS HOW WE ARE, of how ‘UNAWARE’ of basic facets of themselves they are?

How is it that the quality of information about memories and memory functioning is about equivalent with respect to people/our entire population being pretty much completely unaware of their internal states and functioning and or of how past experiences directly impact these/ourselves?

This alignment/shift also ties in with the new age delusion/bizarre advice to orientate yourself to ‘being in the now/the moment’ which is basically about having you aligning your awareness of YOURSELF more and more to the current moment ‘only’ which is essentially TRAINING YOURSELF to more and more reduce your awareness of everything that contributes to your current self/experience down to ‘NOTHING AT ALL’.

Just to make this clear ‘IF’ you make an effort to orientate to the ‘NOW’ moment, then you are essentially orientating to a single tiny slice that represents a single moment, which would be equivalent to a single still ‘frame’ of yourself if you like.

Basically, in the same way that one single ‘still’ frame/moment taken at the very end of an entire film/movie wouldn’t actually be very useful in terms of BECOMING AWARE OF EVERYTHING THAT CONTRIBUTED TO THAT ONE FRAME/MOMENT WITHIN THE ENTIRE FILM/YOUR LIFE then advising you to ‘BE IN THE MOMENT’ is actually about orientating/training you to become more and more disengaged from your ENTIRE self . . .

Being told/advised to continually orientate to ‘being in the moment’ is essentially about making you more and more disengaged/distant/isolated from anything/everything that is actually contributing to your CURRENT SELF/STATE/EXPERIENCE that are from various aspects/experiences originating within your ‘entire’ past!!! In essence, this advice is about supporting you to gradually have less and less capacity to become aware of things/aspects of yourself that are NOT CORRECT/LIMITING/DEBILITATING/OUT OF BALANCE AND OR WHICH ‘DON’T ADD UP’.

Which also fits with the new age beliefs/statements that ‘Everything is ‘Perfectly’ Unfolding’ which essentially is an indirect way of telling you that you don’t need to think about anything or question anything because it’s already all ‘perfect’ . . . MMmmmm. . . . perfect for ‘WHOM’!!!

TO SUM UP: You reading this are the ‘product/outcome’ of your entire past. So, if you want to understand yourself in terms of ‘WHO YOU ARE ‘NOW” then you can only do this by understanding ‘ALL/AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE’ of what in your past contributed/contributes to MAKE YOU WHO YOU ARE ‘NOW’ IN YOUR CURRENT PRESENT!!!

So, if you want to understand yourself ‘NOW’ then you ABSOLUTELY ‘HAVE’ to ‘somehow’ gain understanding of your past . . . it’s also ‘likely’ that attempting to do this will be ‘difficult’ as all of the pages of this series so far have basically been cataloguing the orientations, information and perspectives that are absolutely all orientated to FACILITATE THE OPPOSITE . . . i.e. to have you STAY IN THE DARK about yourself and your past/the past as much as possible . . .

Click the right >> link below for the next page in this series . .