Once again we are the first to reveal yet more shocking cover ups that the spiritual authorities have been covering up AND hiding . . .
Are you aware that incidents of Merkaba vehicle crashes have been increasing dramatically in recent years?
Even more shocking!!! . . . Are you aware that most even dedicated spiritual Merkabah owners are not even aware that it’s even possible for them to crash their Merkabah vehicle?
Are YOU?
A recent report has highlighted that many Merkaba vehicle users were simple simply not maintaining or keeping their Merkabah vehicle in good working order . . .
Official Melchizedek Merkaba Vehicle Maintenance Advice Sightings
We found that most regular MV users are not even aware of the 4 point check system as recommended in ‘How to be a safe Merkabah vehicle user’ or that all users are advised to carry out these quick safety checks before each journey?
As a Merkabah vehicle user are you following your vehicles maintenance recommendations? Are you changing the soniferous oil recycling gasket every cosmic cycle and are you overhauling the melchizedek attuned circulatory system every three galactic cycles to prevent deliptrious creeping fleg setting in?
Are YOU?
Your Merkaba’s advanced ‘Phase’ Lock . . . any ideas what it’s for?
Have YOU as a MV user ever forgotten to use the integrated phase lock when you leave your vehicle unattended for any length of time and that this can sometimes happen accidentally during wild parties particularly if you drink too much or take drugs OR if you read something so shocking that you’re jolted out of an enblightened state . . .
Did you thoroughly read ‘The Merkabah vehicle new user handy driving and maintenance guide’ before you attempted to use your new vehicle for the first time? . . . because recent shocking statistics reveal that only about 0.37% of new users actually do this. Only 15 out of 16,923 new users stopped and asked on the street by our trained (and well protected) interviewers said they’d been able to psychically read at least some of the 3211 pages of this ‘handy’ guide . . .
Merkabah Vehicle Mechanics Services & Repairs
If you are unfortunate enough to crash your Merkabah vehicle, cannot be bothered with maintenance or find yourself inconveniently phase locked out of your vehicle then you can find some helpful and accredited Merkaba mechanics HERE . . . although 27 out of the 16,923 random people we randomly asked random questions to on random streets actually dared suggest that all Merkabah mechanics should all be certified as soon as possible . . . while the latest research indicated that 9,343 Merkabah mechanics out of 9,343 whom had achieved certification claimed that the unwieldy bulky jackets automatically issued upon a successful certification bizarrely seemed not only impossible to take off but actually made it very difficult for them to do their job properly (even in other alleged dimensions).
We have found that there is increasing evidence to suggest that Merkabah mechanics certification is now a serious contributing factor to the decreasing quality of Merkaba vehicle maintenance as well as being responsible for more and more Merkabah mechanics suffering from the worryingly unrecognised but increasingly prevalent condition; ingrown enblightenment . . .
The Spiritual Authorities Response . . .
Spiritual Authorities have been surprisingly quick to review all aspects of the causes and risks associated with Merkabah vehicle crashes and have responded with guarantees of very well defined vague promises to implement new and very strict regulations for all Merkabah vehicle manufacturers in time for each persons next incarnation . . . however . . . we remind you that these are the same Spiritual Authorities that have been promising throughout this entire millenium that we’d all be living in a fabulous 5th dimensional golden new age ‘sometime soon’ while also having their department of spiritual ascension and divine agriculture secretly building a triple lane hyperlight ascension bypass that would divert everyone into a much less spiritually roomy 2nd dimension sub basement . . . are you aware that these are also the same Spiritual Authorities whom tried to convince everyone that this was for very important health, safety and agricultural reasons when they were eventually exposed by the anonymous ‘Flower of Life for ALL’ astral hackers group . . .
. . . an anonymous ‘Flower of life for ALL’ statement advises everyone and particularly YOU that;
It’s more important NOW than ever to remind yourself to not forget to remember to check early on in your next incarnated life that you actually REALLY DO HAVE the new Merkabah vehicle ‘FOLF’ 307tfi model that it’s claimed will adhere to these new safety regulations . . . BECAUSE . . . it’s YOUR awareness, consciousness and immortal light body that’s at risk if you don’t . . .
Don’t forget to remember to remind yourself that you remembered to read it here first . . .