February 20, 2012

2012 End of Earth Cycle Pole Shifting Banking God Conspiracy Predictions

There will be an unprecedented earth based pole shift as the end of the earth cycle time approaches.

This wont be just one single isolated pole shift;

‘NO’

2012 Earth Cycle Polar Shift Predictions Wrong?

All of the predictions are now considered to be completely wrong . . .

There will be many individual earth pole shifts happening over the later years of the end of the earth cycle.

These pole shifts will all start from a region that represents the sacred galactic center on earth which according to ancient texts lies somewhere between Germany and Belarus.

Multiple poles will over time make a planetary shift west, when they reach the coast they will start to swim across the north sea to eventually settle in the UK.

This pole shift will of course continue until the correct planetary alignment is achieved.

Pole Shift Planetary Alignment with Galactic Center Needed!!!

These shifting Poles are all claiming it’s to get work but this is all just a feeble cover story to keep hidden this and other divinely engineered shifts that are the spiritual outcome of the unceasing efforts of the Spiritual Hierarchy to bring the benefits of higher quantum light vibrations to all during these spiritually challenging times.

. . . l.a.t.e.s.t . . . j.u.s.t . . c.o.m.i.n.g . . i.n . . .

Authorities in Warsaw and Krakow are appealing to their displaced shifted Poles to shift back home. After being advised by their long standing Pole Shifting expert Iyno Nofinksky they are claiming that as their shifty Poles are the original ancestors of those that were responsible for the last great planetary poles shift then their natural homeland is where they ‘really’ should be now to help facilitate the next great pole shifting earth changes event.

Conspiracy Theorists Reveal Appeasement of Banking God

Conspiracy theorists however speculate that this is just a move to try and stimulate Christmas spending in a desperate attempt to appease the sacred banking God Huromket whom is rumored to be in a state of collapse and is constantly demanding big piles of fresh money to help keep himself propped up and feeling well . . .

. . . a.s . . i.t.s . . h.a.p.p.e.n.i.n.g . . N.O.W . . .

Dead ancestors of even deader ancient Atlanteans are rumored to be considering taking legal action to gain compensation for the sinking and loss of their ancient and now soggy home land which they now claim was caused by the ancestors of the shifting poles . . .

Dead Atlantis Ancestors take Legal Action!!!

. . . e.v.e.n . . m.o.r.e . . t.h.i.n.g.s . . h.a.p.p.e.n.i.n.g . . .

A barely visible un-undead Atlantean spokesperson (too vague to determine gender, and estimated to be aged somewhere between 65 and 25,432 (and stated by some alleged psychic clairvoyant types to be looking wet and drippy)) announced today that all lost Atlanteans are frantically looking though their old drawers in the hope of finding the sacred ancient insurance policy that was supposed to provide amazingly comprehensive entire continental landmass cover in the event of;

Although steadfastly claiming that no such document exists the insurance underwriters of the original purchasers of the ancient ‘Huromket Rypmeff Insurance Services PLC INT’ are adamant that the final line in this non existing alleged ancient insurance policy obviously contains an ancient possible ‘inking event’ despoiled document error which has resulted in what some might mistakenly think is an ‘s’ which ‘therefore forthwith’ . . . SHOULD NOT BE THERE.

Insurance Companies Ancient ‘Inking’ Policies Revealed

They ‘further more’ claim ‘forth with’ that it is common knowledge that the ‘inking’ of entire continents was a regular occurrence during those ancient times which explains why there are few legible documents surviving as only those kept in a special wax sealed ‘inking’ secure jar would survive any natural ‘inking’ disaster. This was confirmed by the recently established Atlantis Inking expert Prof J Bright (previously an Insurance Services director who’s apparently been intensely studying ‘inking’ phenomenon for the last 24 hours . . . )

A final comment from the ‘barely visible dead Atlantis spokesperson’ before they faded away completely was thought to be something along the lines of . . .

‘FFfff . . inking Insurance . . ffff . . inking Companies’ . . .

Experts on Ancient Atlantis language experts said they would probably spend the next millennium trying to make sense of this . . .

Don’t forget to remind yourself to remember that you remembered to read all about it here first . . .

Filed under Satirical New Age News